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/adv/ at what age did you realize that you'll never achieve

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/adv/

at what age did you realize that you'll never achieve your dreams? And that your life is not, and never will be what you'd hoped it would be?

I'm 25 and I think I'm getting to that point. My parents had such high hopes for me and I've fucked it all up. They give me so much support but I can never do enough with it. I can never be constructive enough.

I'm so upset with myself
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>>18030991
Like when did I realize that I was going to be a normal, average person and not a fairy princess ballerina astronaut? Like 7th grade
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>>18030999
not even that, but I used to have hopes and dreams, not even grandiose, but something happened and it's like I just forgot all my passions or interests and talents and fucking gave up or something

it's not like i'm asking for millions of dollars or to become a fucking rockstar or something, I just feel so far below what I could've or should've been
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at 22, 27 in two weeks, life has been suffering ever since.
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>>18031021
fuckin same Anon, i'm 25 and it seems like life's only going downhill

I'm in school, I work out, I shower every day, I'm not an asshole but for some reason I'm only getting uglier, not making friends and feeling more and more hopeless everyday
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12
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>>18031009
The key is to jut embrace the fact that you are trash, most people are garbage, and all you can do about it is just keep living your life
Also, loss of interests, feelings of hopelessness and lack of motivation is classic depression, so welcome to that club too
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>>18030991
Google "people who became successes late"
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Bro, i feel you. Just got 25 on 22.01. And its only getting worse. Like you said my parents always wanted the best for me, i had so many options and fucked up a lot. Now working instead of studying, luckily the job is well paid. I always make myself believe that im going back to studies at spme point, but before a week i realized that chances are getting lower and lower. I want to do more with my life and fear to regret my lifestyle. I kept on telling myself that I am still young, but the only thing that happens is that i keep on getting older.

Anon, wish you the best, reach for opportunities, dont be confident with what you got. Cheers :)
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>>18030991
Recently, actually. Will be turning 19 years in a span of a couple months and only now have I bluntly brought what is destined to be a failure to my own attention. The only career in which I feel any sort of willingness towards is out of my reach for good. I'm spineless, constantly anxious, and even if I have the right mindset for the job, the irregular chemicals in my brain are what reigns against it. A rational mind plagued with irrational thoughts by anxiety/depression is nothing but a back-and-forth passing of a bomb that's just waiting to explode. I yearn and wish that I could be stronger. Not solely to be able to obtain my dream job, but to live a life where I can be proud of myself by leading a fulfilling lifestyle. Except I'm constantly chained back by my subconcious mind no matter how hard my concious mind struggles against it. I feel that perhaps a lot of us who experience a sense of disappointment within ourselves share a similarity of being held back - whether we be our own culprits or various other reasons (low self-esteem, mental illness, etc.). I am not so sure I can even wish hope upon myself anymore seeing as I am as hopeless as can be, but I hope that you anons manage to find a peaceful path of life to walk on. Even if it takes years of mourning over what could have been, maybe something entirely new that not only can be but WILL be is something that you'll encounter along the way. Hang in there.
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Yeah, 21/22 was when it really sunk in.
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Don't be a berry picker all your life, go and slay that mammoth

But seriously there are two types of people in this world, those who do and those who do not. And let me very clear only YOU can choose to or not to. Everything else is an obstacle
>i will fight to surpass this challenge
>this is too hard I give up
Its your choice. You think Olympian tier athletes just got handed their superior skill? Do you think a tradesman was born with his knowledge and skill? Do you think the president was born the President? You think that blind surfer was born with the ability to surhe was born blind though
So tell me again why you can't achieve anything you want
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>>18031175
Because I keep giving up. It stopped becoming a flaw years ago, now it's a character trait with significant precedent. I've had changes of mindset before and have vowed to make something of myself, but have come crashing down every time. I really am one of the hopeless ones, and there's nothing I can say to convince you of this.

Most others here feel the same, I imagine.
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>>18030991
I went to film school, fairly late as a junior transfer student. I was 23. I really wanted to be an actor/comedian/performer. But I'm too unattractive to ever be on camera, so at 26 I decided to be a writer, to still be some kind of a storyteller. Not too long after that I learned that I have no talent or a single original idea; or even an unoriginal interesting idea. I was 28 when I finally gave up. Moved out of LA to Northwest Oregon where at 32 I now work a shitty job I hate with bosses who are close to ten years younger than me.

So if you're going to give up, definitely don't wait until you're almost in your 30s.

There isn't a single morning where I wake up and am not disappointed I didn't have the courtesy to die in my sleep.
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>>18031347
You want me to be brutally honest then. You are a failure and will never achieve anything and do you want to know why, because you are your biggest obstacle, and its the same with everyone. I peraonally couldnt care less if you make nothing of yourself, just means one less person I have to worry about competing with.
Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder so is success.
What is it you have tryed and why did you fail and what can you do better to have a better chance at success.

Those who take the mind set, I did not succeed therefore I have failed are failures by that virtue alone. One of my favorite quotes of all time, not sure by who "A master has failed more times than you have even tryed"
So enjoy the rest of your shitty life because you refuse to make it better
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>>18031375
It's not really as easy as "I want to make my life better."

Over a year ago, I hit the point where I felt that I could accomplish my goals and be the man I always wanted to be. That I WILL put in the ridiculous amount of work required to bring myself to that state, and push and persist and fight until the end of time. And you know what? I actually did begin putting in the work. I saw a counsellor, began going to the gym, stopped slacking off at school, focused on my hobbies and created a life goal for myself to work towards. I really believed at the time that I was capable of becoming something. I really believed that I was going to succeed.

Fast forward a year, and the numerous counsellors I've seen were of no help to me, I failed all of my classes out of laziness, stopped going to the gym and gained 25lbs, and lost sight of what I want to do with my life. I am worse off than when I began my journey of self-improvement, and I thought I had hit rock bottom at the time. It all went to shit because of me, but I don't even know what I could've done to prevent it. You are your biggest obstacle, sure, but I think some people are bigger obstacles to themselves than others, if that makes sense. In my case, I am insurmountable.

To say that I have refused to make it better would be a lie. Some people are just out-and-out failures, and it has left my control long ago.
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Jokes on you I've never had a dream.
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>>18031401
I have no idea what I want from my life. You don't need an end goal, just set little goals And do things you enjoy.
Also define what you call a failure, only time you fail is when you give up.
Your still only in school, you've not even experienced life.
Stop being such a self loathing chump.
Will power my friend
Stop wanking so much
Give yourself a reason to get out of bed, be it because you enjoy what ever it is your about to eat for breakfast or that project you decided you'd finally start because some wanker on the internet made a decent point. Hell get out and socialize more, hard to feel sorry for yourself when your having fun.
No one can give you happynes and no-one said life was fair or easy, so why do you expect to be the only one who is just given a hall pass through life.

I will take your problems seriously when you have lost a child/spouses/limb something that would break anyone's spirits.
What's the hardest thing in life you've encountered? An exam
The weak have no place in this world. And weak is not physical it's mental.
You only fail when you don't learn

Also make sure you are getting enough iorn
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>>18031500
>What's the hardest thing in life you've encountered? An exam
The fact that some trivial exams managed to completely break me NUMEROUS TIMES really hits home the fact that I am a lost cause. What the hell is someone so incompetent supposed to do from here beyond hate themselves?

Anyway, right now the one thing I'm fixated on is becoming more attractive to women. The obvious route to this is
>become the best version of yourself
and I would strive for this, if not for the fact that
>the best version of myself will be far from good enough for most; and
>what's the point of self-improvement if self-sabotage kicks in like clockwork

At this point I do not trust that I will ever gain what it takes to be wanted by women, or even have the ability to sustain a relationship due to my shit personality. The fact that I'm even kicking my legs and throwing a tantrum over this like a spoiled child is proof enough.

Do you happen to have the magic answer to my problems, besides "give up"?
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>>18031021
Same to be exact. I have suffered during my best age.
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I mean, I realize there are some things that are not possible for me at this point. I'm 23. I'm never going to be an Olympic Gymnast. Not that that was my dream, just that yeah, "anything I put my mind to" isn't quite accurate anymore.

Things haven't gone as I've planned. Mental illness derailed my life. I got it back on track. Most things haven't changed.

Yeah, it's not exactly what I wanted. I'm never going to have more money than my parents, for example. I'm not where I wanted to be at this age. I have regrets.

But I've adapted my goals. Now, that doesn't mean giving up or deciding to settle. I mean my goals have grown with me. I've found challenges and joy in things I would never have considered before. This feel like the opposite of settling to me. It's enriching and it gives me new things to look forward to. I realize now my life isn't over just because I'm taking a long-ass time to get my degree. There's more to my life and more I want to accomplish.
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>>18031557
Fight harder, you might just supprise yourself.
It all begins with.
I was suicidal to the point I am left with scars to remind me, one thing kept me going, but that is irrelevant now because I've long lost that one thing. Ive failed tests all the time, ive lost whom i dare say was my soulmate, I fuck up at work, I have days where I feel worthless but you know what at the end of the day I am still here and I'm not going to focus on what went wrong rather what went right, I fuck up at work I learn where I went wrong so it won't happen again.
Life is only what you make of it, and remember you want to look back at the good times you had when you old and not everything you did wrong.

No one can give you halpyness and even prescription drugs will lose their effect, you have to choose to be happy it really is a choice.
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>>18031590
Hey man, I'm glad you found your stride. That sounds rough.

I know I could be "happy" if I accept my lot in life and really try to find happiness in where I am now. That would involve throwing away my wants and goals, and ultimately resigning myself to being nothing. I mean, yes, I will be happy about it, but right now I see little difference between doing that and just ending my life.

I don't know, what I'm trying to say is that I don't know if happiness is worth turning my back on my desires.
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>>18030991
Probably about 12. I never aspired to much anyway. Being poor does that to you.
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>>18031355
damn dude that sounds pretty similar to me. being an actor is like the one thing i've ever wanted, but i think i'm too ugly to ever become successful. it was like, the one thing i was consistently told I was good at throughout school too. now instead of chasing a dream, i'm 25 and wasting my parents money at college for the third time in a program i'm only doing so i don't feel like a complete fuckin' failure when i eventually inevitably off myself or some shit.

how ugly are you tho? what was LA like?
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>>18030991

sounds like you had soem disney tier dreams.

All i wanted out of life was nice friends, a job that pays the bills and ample time to pursue my interests. working out so far.
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>>18030991
You're fucking 25 and are giving up on typical dreams? C'mon anon, maybe you're a late bloomer and experience can make you successful in a way you didn't think possible. Don't automatically assume you're going to be screwed till you die.
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>>18030991
Hitler was like 35 before he even got into politics, just FYI
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>>18030999
This

>>18030991
>>18031009
Welcome to Earth, kid

However, I think you identify a legitimate issue, which is that our generation's parents' have ridiculously stupid and fantastical aspirations about what we'll do

I think it's a product of Western materialistic culture. "Don't take any big risks in your life, just play it safe, and you can own this nice BMW™, and these great Converse® sneakers - and look at the people in these adverts with these products, their lives are perfect!"

No, life isn't perfect. Life is fucking messy. If you want something you have to fucking EARN IT. You have to fucking WORK FUCKING HARD FOR IT.

So yeah fuck your parents' pressure first of all. Then second of all make your own decisions in life about what you want to do.
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>>18032218
Tru dat. Always remember. Follow your dreams. Even if your dreams are establishing a Lebensraum for the German peoples.
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My girlfriend and I were gonna move to Alaska and start a life together. Turns out she was keepin in touch with her ex the whole time and at the last minute decided to go with him instead.

That's when I knew I was a shitty loser of a man. Been drinking since. Only get laid by drunk girls about once a year who always regret it and end up lying to me about why they don't wanna see me again (either "I'm moving" or they just don't contact me)
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>>18032471
Sort yourself out.
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>>18032068
Ugly enough to not get any proper film roles, but apparently I'm just "ethnic" enough to do commercial work, at least according to a friend of mine I have back in LA.

LA itself is a shithole, though. It's hot, it's smoggy, it takes like two hours to get anywhere. It's expensive.
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>>18032696
cool, I've heard it's a cool city but really dirty
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>>18032471

Throw her memory right in the bin. I did a similar thing to my man and can 100% confidently say it was all me, not him. He had is problems, but none are as irredeemable as being a two-faced selfish whore.
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>>18030991
Before my teens. I had a miserable childhood, anything I wanted to be or do my parents didn't support me. Anything that I wanted to do or interested in was shot down.

I'm just NOW (I'm 31) learning that I can do things that I love and wanted to do for myself and not professional (i.e. drawing).

Don't give up, anon. Pick a goal and work at it. Don't listen to people that will bring you down.
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>>18033012
thanks dude
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>>18032733
Parts of LA are cool, but the whole thing is so goddamn sprawled out it's a nightmare to get anywhere.

I used to live about seven miles from where I worked, and it would take an average of an hour to get home.
Thread posts: 38
Thread images: 4


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