I'm not really sexually attracted to my husband anymore.

>>18026860
get over it. Expand your bedroom play.

Basically just stop focusing on the negatives like a cunt.

>>18026860
Let him rape you.

You're probably too ugly to be this picky.

See a therapist

>>18026881
>>18026886

It's not like we've spent 6 years having missionary in the dark.

It's just hard for me to respect him in the bedroom. At this point, edgeplay irritates me and I can't respect him as a Dom. That's fine, we're switchy, but I feel like when I'm dominating him I'm probably being really unfair because I do have these resentments. Like, watching him writhe desperately after short chastity and daily teasing isn't hot to me anymore, it makes me think of him as pathetic.

We've been trying to improve the simple things: focusing on small things that make our vanilla sexual experiences vastly better. But that doesn't change the fact that overall I'm unimpressed. Not by his ability but by his sexuality itself. It's kinda boring.

I don't need kinky shit all the time. It just seems like he can enjoy any of it, but doesn't need much variation or experimentation. He'll do those things for me, but ultimately it's a huge turn off for me to know that he doesn't have any interesting needs.

>>18026860
Sounds like a divorce is in your future. You should tell him now so he can start feeling like a piece of shit early, then when you decide to finally serve him papers he'll be more or less over you and can move on to banging other women who don't need strange dick every few years to be happy

>>18026891

Super frustrating. Had a great therapist who is great with couples too, went in for a few months and it was so maddening because we don't have real relationship problems. Super secure attachment. No large issues to speak of. We never argue. We help each other do things we each couldn't do alone.

It usually feels like we could both take or leave sex. We go through short periods of intense interest, usually centered on some new or renewed kink or idea. He would like to have sex more often than me, but doesn't seem all that sensitive to how romantic or not it is.

I can't tell if I'm basically asexual or if everything is just so pleasing to me that sex isn't that interesting anymore. A good sexual scenario is great emotionally and psychologically. Sensation wise, if you asked me if I wanted I good dicking or to rub sanded ray skin on my trapezius area, I'd pick the latter even though no arousal or orgasm would be involved.

>>18026903

Jesus fuck talk to him and tell him what shit isn't turning you on. Communication, for Christ's sake.

>>18026927

Okay. We talk about it. There isn't a clear path to me. He is extremely happy to adjust his technique or do really anything for me that I'd like him to. He can dig stuff he's not really into enough to enjoy a session of whatever it is with me.

That doesn't change the fact that he doesn't seem to give a shit if we have a quickie or a 2-hour romantic lovemaking session, or a public scene. It's great he's adaptable, but it's hard to feel super great about it when I'm over here getting off on hand worship and he could care less about anything beyond getting his dick wet.

I know, I should be super thankful I have a guy who will do anything to please me. But it's not pleasing to know that's the only reason he's doing it.

So he's a regular guy trying to make you happy and you don't know what you want.

Marriage. Not even once.

File: 1460016342790.jpg (36KB, 639x495px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 639x495px

>I'm not really sexually attracted to my husband anymore.

Western women in a nutshell.

>>18026860
>I'm
>I
>I
>I
>me
>me
>I'm
>me
>me
>I
>I
>I've
>I'm
>me
>I
>I
>I
>me

>>18026941

You sound high maintenance as fuck. Stop expecting him to fix things he doesn't even know are a problem.

Why don't you figure out what you actually want?

Also, desu it sounds to me like you just want him to be a classical Dom in all situations

Wew lad. After reading everything in this thread, I've come to the conclusion that you're just a cunt. I feel bad for your poor husband. You should get a divorce so that he can be with someone who isn't shitty, and you can shit on someone else. I guess he's a fucking idiot too for marrying you to begin with, though.

>>18027067
Wew indeed.

But this is part of the fun of coming to /adv/

Every now and then you'll find a case like this who is so lacking in self-awareness they don't realise what a cunt they sound like.

>>18026860
>>18026903
>>18026924
>>18026941

See this.

This is why you never ever get involved with a stupid vapid cunt with mental issues.

Over analysing fuckhead I hope you ruin his life and don;t realise who awful a human being you are until decades from now.

You're pus.

File: ready to kill me yet.png (78KB, 297x212px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 297x212px

>Spents the whole subject talking about how she's repulsed in the bedroom

>Complaints without giving a single ounce of caring about fixing the situation or providing ideas or asking for them

>Not even for a second considers her husband's feelings or talking to the man

I frankly do hope he divorces you. You sound frivolous.

This is why marriage is a dead end

>>18026860
>>18026903
>>18026941

You're literally just a horrible person OP

Divorce him for his own sake

>>18027061
This jap words nudged into english trend is cringe as fuck

>>18026860
You state yourself he does nothing wrong.
The issue is you. At no point do you speak highly of him. Do you even respect this guy anymore?

>>18028303
When you write "t b h" it corrects automatically in desu.

>>18026860

> far above average in the body and somewhat
>above average in

is that all you care about in your husband?

>hate his stupid faces, dirty talk is cringe to me

talk about it, find something that makes both of you go nuts

talk about your sexuality...

>>18028303
fuck off m8 this your first time here?

>>18026860
and I'm sure he's never once fought through you taking a shit and stinking the house up

Started this hours ago, left for the day, came back and someone used dark necromancy to bring it back. Neato.

So, we talk. A lot. I realize skimming the thread to find my subsequent posts is a pain and reading my long, bitchy complaints is also agony.

But we do talk.

That is why I keep reiterating that our relationship is amazing- except for the sex issue. Because without each other, both our lives would be much, much worse in practical ways. Non-practically, he worships the ground I walk on and I deeply appreciate the fact that he understands me the way I need to be understood- something no one before him and no one since him has been able to do- even people who were possibly more smitten.

I'm not expecting him to suddenly be perfect. I'm not expecting him to magically quit doing all of my pet-peeves and I'm not asking him to. I may let him know if something annoys me but I realize some are harmless habits and others are involuntary. I do shit that annoys him too. We joke about these things.
I just have zero sexual interest in him at this point. "Everything is about sex but sex" or whatever- we discuss sex and different things we'd like to do a lot. I can have fun with things like that. I can suck dick, give handjobs, and milk his prostate for hours.

But I no longer really want him to touch me. By extension, I don't really want to have PiV sex. I'm sure the reasons run deeper than "I hate your stupid exertion face" but of course that is the expressible thing.

From what he tells me: he is happy to go without sex. Doesn't need it. Is happy when we have sex, doesn't matter what kind, how long, etc. Just appreciates it all at this point, and his tastes have become more simple over time after our period of more exploratory stuff. I ask if he has any requests in this area. He says no, whatever I need is fine.

Very sweet, not very helpful.

>>18028303
How fucking new are you?

OP sounds like a crazy and lazy fuck who has a boyfriend who is okay with doing things but who wants even more. Stupid cunt

>>18026941
Jesus you sound like my girlfriend.
>it's not enough that you do the stuff I want you to do, you have to WANTTTTT to do it

>>18028348

I'm pretty much fucking saying.

"I don't know what's wrong. The little things he does can't account for this, but they're easy to blow out of proportion. Not sure what would help because I don't have any specific needs. I feel guilty about not fucking him more, but I'd feel worse dead fishing it all the time just for the sake of saying we have sex. Wat do?"

Yeah I'm bad at saying that quickly and clearly. But it's not as cunty as you seem to think??

>>18028351

Yeah. I don't need him to want the exact stuff I want. But I do want him to want SOMETHING. He doesn't even really express a strong interest in sex at all. Desire is sexy.

>>18028345
Sounds like someone is about to cheat. What abput therapy? Because you clearly arent happy and he isn't exactly helpful either. Or you just need to get over it. But easier said than done.

>>18028345
Sounds like a miserable, miserable relationship.

>>18028356

Did a few months together. It was strange. This particular therapist took a more attachment-theory approach to stuff (a la Sue Johnson) and that wasn't super helpful. We both rate our attachment as very secure.

Ironically, he is a therapist as well.

I feel like our relationship, sexually and maybe a little otherwise, is becoming a bit of a train to abilene. For some reason he has backed off of small acts of leadership but there is no obvious cause. I'm obviously a spoiled bitch, so while I'm used to getting what I want I'm not used to taking initiative in this way- especially not when that means effectively leading someone else as well. Not sure how related this could be to sexual problems, it's just been on my mind. He is still happy to take a dominant role sexually and thus by some extension, day-to-day, when he's feeling it. I'm similarly able to lead through that sort of mindset. But removed from that it's very difficult.

>>18028354
>>18028345
I think I know what your problem is, and it's a classic female one - I know because I am one myself. He loves you too much and it's turned him into a whimp. He doesn't resist, he doesn't tell you to fuck off, he doesn't get mad. Maybe the best that could happen for your libido is him fucking you with no regards for how you feel about it, or him starting to stray. You've taken him completely for granted, he worships you and you know what, at some point, that isn't sexy. What is sexy is when a guy is never completely won over, either because of a passion or a career or something else so that the unattainable dream of having him completely to yourself is still alive somewhere. Now you actually have him completely to yourself and that's boring.

I can help

>>18028475

You're probably right to a degree. The issue in the way of fixing it similarly to how you propose is I would be pretty fucking offended that he'd dare disrespect me like that, and leave his ass. I've mulled it over quite a bit. Having total control over him is no fun when there's no fight left in him. But if the fight is just for the sake of opposing me than it isn't fun either.

Cheat on him but don't leave him

>>18028364
>>18028475
You say he has backed of from small acts of leadership and you end up having to do them and you don't like that. At some point this has to do with the fact that qualities our primitive impregnate-me brain finds attractive in males are decision making and willpower and he has stopped showing that.
Also, the fact you hate how he breathes when you fuck, that you no longer want to be touched, that it sort of all feels super comfortable, it's all tied to this and to the fact you probably are too close together. You start to breed familiarity and from that comes contempt. He has kept no mystery about him and you sit there waiting for all of your needs to be met, which he is not able to do - nobody can. Every time he falls short resentment builds and every time he tries to do what you want you respect him less because you've emasculated him by molding him into that very thing you claim you want.

If you can, my advice is to take a breather far away from each other. Move back in with your mom for 15 days for all I care. Don't go on holidays, because right now you're in the perfect mindset to cheat
>waaah waaah my needs aren't met but I deserve to have my needs met

I hope he doesn't act like a lost puppy dog during those breathers you take from each other, but rather goes out and parties and shows that he still has the desire to do shit outside of pleasing you.

>>18028490

We have an open relationship, in theory. We've both taken advantage of it once each. It's not that it isn't fun, it's just that neither one of us finds someone compatible very often, which is important since casual sex isn't appealing either. He often remarks that coming home to me is a huge relief because our constant time together makes him forget how shitty other people usually seem to him. I feel the same way. Hilariously, I work in an adult store and get propositioned pretty frequently.

>>18028485
Frankly you deserve to be disrespected a bit because you're sitting on a very high horse right now.

You have molded this guy and now you're sad that he is mold-able. Fix yourself. Your expectations are unhealthy and toxic.
>I would be so offended if he did things I don't want
>if he does only what I want I don't like that either
>I want him to want to do other things than what I want
>but if he acts on that I get mad
Like literally you want someone to not want what you tell them to do because otherwise that's not fun AND you don't want them to act in that.
Do you realize what you are asking? Do you enjoy letting a dog squirm in front of meat that you forbid him to have, then get sad when the dog no longer salivates in front of that meat you never give him anyway?

>>18026860
Just use lube.

>>18028490
What kind of sick advice is this?

>>18028498
Realistically, I feel like I should be the one in the leadership role anyway. I have the stronger personality and stronger preferences for what I do in life. He has spent his entire life, even before me, mostly just supporting other people and doing what they want. He never had enough initiative to say, ask me if I want to go camping , even if he really wanted to ask. He will often not do things he really wants to do out of fear (start a practice in a new town) without me pushing the process forward and working out the technicalities. So he was never the leader per-se, but at least he didn't ask me where he should park, or stand dumbfounded in an unfamiliar store instead of just picking a direction. I should just do these things, but damn it's bizarre.

He will act like a lost puppy, guaranteed. Honestly, although he tells me he is glad for things like me taking him camping, left to his own devices he'll just play games he's already mastered all damn day.

Even things he says he wants to do- learn to play music, get better at art, he won't do. I'll buy him supplies and leave it at that. They remain unopened. I offered to teach him about music, he declined and asked for an instrument and a book. I got the exact items. Unused.

>>18028509


I want him to have some desire for anything in his life. It's great that he's supportive. It's what he does. I appreciate it. I support the few things he needs help with. But see latter parts of >>18028520

He doesn't seem to want much of anything. He's a therapist so you'd think he'd be pretty self-aware about his mental health, but I'm happy he sees someone a couple times a year. Hasn't come back as depressed or anything so it's just his personality I guess.

>>18028520
Okay.
I hate using the word "beta" because of PUA crap, but he is. He's a beta, low-energy, submissive guy. You're realizing you're not into that, at no point ever do you sound like you have respect for him. Without respect your libido is dead, no matter what you do, you needs man to exude a certain masculinity and desire for action. You keep going on and on about how great your relationship is but that would drive me mad. I want a man with a passion, something to live for, not some indolent grown ass adolescent who's lukewarm about most things then turns to me for guidance. Neither do you it seems.

>>18028528
Being supportive is easy. Going after what you want in life is hard. It's called "hard work" for some reason.
He just sounds mushy and soft.

>>18028535

I'm sort of coming to terms with his submissiveness. Not just sexually, of course, but I'm trying to use the sexual angle to give myself the confidence to take control in other ways without all the resentment.
That's all well and good for managing our careers, planning vacations, and yeah, choosing where to park.
But it doesn't change the fact that unless I ask him to do something (lets go feed the ducks!) he is more than happy to bounce between his number-fap games. I don't mind controlling the activities, just wish he did something other than idle waiting for them. He loves feeding the ducks. He is always super happy for days afterward. Always thanks me for doing it with him. But will not bring it up. This is the repulsively beta thing, but I'm not sure if beta is what I mean either??

>>18028549
>I'm trying to use the sexual angle to give myself the confidence to take control in other ways without all the resentment.
I'm sorry it's not working.
It's obvious you resent him like hell, and that's why you're disgusted in the bedroom. Things will be a lot better if you admit that you don't like that major character flaw in him and that is has not that much to do with sex, or at least not only with sex.
I think it's time for you to face that you want something else in a man.

>>18028559

Obviously it doesn't have much to so with sex. I meant more using domming as a springboard to tackle issues that are fucking up our relationship.

I'm insecure, which fucks with my normal sex drive and makes me needy. But obviously I'm also pretty egotistical and he thinks I'm great. So if I can let myself enjoy how he thinks of me, just maybe I can be comfortable enough not to feel so insecure, even just around him.

Obviously could help make me more comfortable making small decisions (where to eat, when to go to the library). I realize I'm not doing a man like him any favors by "letting" him make these decisions.

My weird hope is that some of those comforts will stay even if we aren't actively playing that way.

Of course, there is the basic issue of me being repulsed by sex. But then again, he enjoys orgasm denial and doing the simple and body service I actually do enjoy, so honestly it's not like I have to fuck him a whole ton for him to enjoy this for awhile.

File: image.jpg (174KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

174KB, 600x450px

>>18028570
>insecure
>needy
>egotistical
Go see a shrink and talk about that.
Your relationship can't be good if you start out confused like that.

You're trying to use the D/s approach while being ducked in the head and hoping this will get you what you want. Just stop.

>creates a problem where one doesn't exist
>expects the husband to fix it without knowing it exists
>discounts any suggestion given by 4chan
>husband literally does anything this person asks for
>husband has no issues personally and seems to enjoy life and sex just fine
>partner is jealous of husband for not creating issues
>is mad at husband giving her everything she wants
>admits to being spoiled and wanting to get her way (probably started the relationship this way)

I've got your diagnosis, I'm afraid you're terminally unhappy and it's not your husband's fault. I'd tell you to leave him for his own sake, but he seems to enjoy life no matter what. So he'll be fine either way. Unfortunately, it sounds like you'll be stuck like this forever.

This is also potentially medical-grade synthetically engineered bait.

>>18028519

reality

File: data.jpg (19KB, 280x400px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 280x400px

>>18026941
>I know, I should be super thankful I have a guy who will do anything to please me. But it's not pleasing to know that's the only reason he's doing it.
yeah how dare he do what you want because he wants to make you happy, what a fucking asshole

This thread is amazing. If there is ever anyone who needs to take the red pill, it's your husband.

>>18028643
Of a shitty person only.

>>18028650
Haha some people can't be happy I guess right?

>>18028650
Hey man, this is what being a woman is all about. OP would be way happier if her husband kept her pregnant and smacked her around a little.

>>18026860
I think you already know how this ends. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this man? If not, divorce him so that the two of can find someone that meets yours needs.There isn't any advice we can offer to help your situation.

> I've been resenting all damn day.
>We are perfect partners in life and balance each other out very well.
> I'm just at a point where everything he does bothers me a lot

All of these statements made within three sentences.

Do your husband a huge favor and divorce him instead of inevitably cheating on him, you stupid, stupid bitch.

>>18028679
Also, I'm not sure what gave you the idea that this is a good place to post this thread. /adv/ is full of men bitter about their past experiences with women.

>>18028857
OP is a good example of why their bitterness is at least understandable

>>18026860
>How do I stop letting little shit like that make me repulsed by him?

you sound like a bitch.

File: 1428307259628.png (5KB, 274x242px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 274x242px

>>18028570

At the end of the day, if this guy is a therapist, he's obviously a well adjusted normal human being with a great career. So by that definition, sounds like he'd be much better off without you. You clearly have some huge psychological issues and would probably be better off alone. He'll find another woman no problem with his career.

>>18026903
>contempt
I will never understand how some people develop this for someone they care about so much. It makes no fucking sense

>>18026903
This why I feel like there's no such thing as switch. you may like to dabble, but you're either one or the other. you sound like a sub

>>18028520
you sound more like a mom than a gf. I know first hand being a gf to a manchild is tiring on both ends. You want a real man not a little boy you have to motivate and take care of. Even though you're complacent in your relationship it only serves as a crutch and a prolonging to the inevitable.

Just leave. stay single figure out what you'd really respect in a man.working for me

>>18026941
I honestly have no fucking clue what you're even complaining about with this guy. You're just specifying that something is wrong but it seems like everything is perfect. Sounds like the issue is with you.

>>18028857
If I read what crazy bitches like the OP do I cant help but feel bitter.

>>18029153
She is a woman what do you expect?

This is why we need traditional gender roles.

>>18028857
>Crazy bitch posts thread about how she is disgusted by her husband for not being a problem causing asshole
>L-look at all t-these bitter m-men in here
Only a woman could post something this fucking stupid.

>>18028475
Jesus Christ I'm not even a misogynist but this is disgusting.

>>18029123
>False dichotomies

Switches are rare but extant. Get out more.

File: facts.png (61KB, 415x345px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 415x345px

>>18028583
>He thinks a shrink will treat personality traits

A shrink is about helping you understand your own emotions better, or throwing pills at you if your brain is fucked. When it comes to anything personality, they are hopeless and this is counting the years of behavioral therapy that you would need to put in to achieve any sort of resolution in your life. This is why people with severe personality disorders tend to get shown the door in practice. My local Ph.D won't even treat borderlines period.

Stop forwarding psychs as a panacea to all emotional problems. Our society is crippling as a result.

When was the last time either of you have been sick?

Sounds like both of you are very healthy people. Lack of disease in a house will surely bring other kinds of diseases.

It seems like at least one of you is overly obsessed with cleaning and organisation.


You have been living a constant consistent lifestyle for a while and it has become a bit too predictable that you didn't experience each other in new environments for a long time. You have not learnt things from each-other or shared valuable scenarios together for a good amount of time.


Get your hands dirty. Buy a set of oil paint and get to work. Buy new plant pots and get some quality seeds and start planting seeds together. If you live in a location where it allows it, go camping / mudding / paint-balling.

You need to get your hands dirty together, this is my only solution.

its threads like this that make me never want to leave my house again

>>18026860
>>18026903
>>18026924
>>18026941
>>18028345
>>18028364
>>18028500
>>18028520
>>18028549
>>18028570
You're a terrible person. You need a wife beater to make you satisfied. Seriously. Thanks for making hate women just a little bit more. Women simply do not have principles. They're vile creatures.

Also
>open relationship
God, I wish I could beat you.

>>18029626
>I wish I could beat you
Based on this thread, she'd probably enjoy it t b h

>>18026860
Start sleeping around like the whore you were born to be, then justify yourself on a feminist blog bc ur a victim

Treat them like shit and they love you, respect them and they bitch on a taiwanese vocaloid appreciation forum about you. Being female should just be treated as a mental illness at this point.