My girlfriend recently asked me why I'm never jelaous of

You need to be careful, that's not a good sign. Take this from someone who's been with women like that. They need to test you, to know you're in a constant state of anxiety like they are. It's fucked. Be careful bro

Just dump her now if she's going to play these high school games.

>>18025427
>>18025434

Yeah this. I knew a 14 year old that wouldn't do that sorta thing.

Tell her to cut the crap.
Or dump.

Girls talk in riddles, that's just how they work.

I think she just wants validation that you love her.

>>18025427
lmao dump her
she has zero respect for you

attention is your currency here. if she starts talking about other dudes, just say you have to go. she'll stop pretty quickly if she realizes she can't get a reaction out of you.

So how do I adress this particular issue, because it's been already a week and I've just pretty much ignored it and said it's okay? Even though it bothers me, I don't want to act weak and go back on my words.

>>18025466
bump

>>18025466
Tell her you wanted an exclusive relationship with zero distractions, but she kinda ruined that in your mind so it isn't worth going any further.

"omg ur jelous bla bla etc"

i value my peace of mind, and it isn't worth destabilizing it for you. You see if this felt anything like an exclusive relationship, you wouldn't have so many orbiters and "best friends", you'd focus on building trust, but I wont force you to do what I want you to do, I'll just find somebody who understands this.

fin.

>>18025544
if she sais "i can change", up to you if you wanna risk it past that point.

you need to play her game
or she will find someone else to play it with
hope shes hot

get jelous

I do think she is kinda being stupid here, playing games and all.
But I also try looking at it from her perspective.

How are you treating her? How long have you been together? Have you relaxed too much and you're treating her like a casual friend now with sex here and there? Are you treating her like she still means a lot to you?

I had a boyfriend for 5 years and after 1 he just stopped caring. He didn't shower much, dates were "a waste of money" even tho we both worked and I always offered to pay for my part, only wanted to stay home and play games...

She is just maybe insecure. Maybe she wants to see if you care.
I agree, it's a bullshit way to see if you care but still, people make mistakes.

I would sit down with her and say what you already said "I trust you" but also thow in a few "I love you more than anything" etc, if you're on that level ofc.

>>18025550
or you can try what this femanon suggests

>>18025570

but in my opinion, she would be getting undeserved attention under the circumstances. she needs to understand her limits if she wants this to be "real".

>>18025578
You can't look at relationships in black and white only.
People make mistakes. Maybe she is just insecure and need help with feeling good about the relationship again.

Yeah women are too emotional but you're gonna die alone 90% if you're gonna look for that perfect partner that never makes mistakes or says something they don't mean.

"Undeserved attention", I dunno man. If I love a person I give more attention if needed to see what is wrong and what I can do to make it better.

>>18025582
Problem is she seems to be finding other guys she's dedicating HER attention to. If you're serious, you don't do shit like that, and rub it in your bf's face.

I can agree with your last statement about going as far as I possibly can to make someone feel better, but she needs to meet him halfway and stop attracting orbiters. No sacrifice, no goal.

We don't even know how long OP has been with this girl, couple months? years? weeks?

In any case it's rude really, but it does kinda depend on time. I wont assume anything is wrong with OP though, he seems the most emotionally invested of the two.

>>18025593
I agree it's rude, but maybe OP is looking at this the wrong way. Maybe she was just talking about her day, you know?
Also, he trusts her so what is the problem with having male friends and giving them attention like any other friend? Unless she is flirting with her friend or ignoring her bf and spending time with this friend, she isn't doing anything wrong.

I agree with you if she is trying to make him jealous. Still, I would advise talking to her. But don't be too harsh unless called for.

This
>>18025578

To correct this sort of behaviour you just stop giving her attention when she behaves badly and reward her with attention for good behaviour.

You get triggered once for this sort of stuff and it will become the #1 thing she will use to get more attention out of you.

>>18025597
DUUUDE!

She's hanging out with guys who used to hit on her and now she's calling them "best friends". No.

>>18025427
This would be a game if she just said she was hanging with all these new "best friends" trying to get a reaction out of you but the reality is she has and is cultivating males and calling them "best friends" and wanting you to accept it as she finds your replacement. She's not telling you the full extent.

You can try this. Tell her you don't want to fight about this since you are both adults but it does seem odd, what were once acquaintances are now "best friends" she spends an enormous amount of time with and talk about constantly. Ask her to clarify her relationships with these guys and if they are her best friends why don't she introduce them to you.

Or, and this is what I learned to do, I break up with the game playing bitch and won't listen to her wailing afterwards because I know the games they play escalate until they find justification to cheat on you.

>>18025427
Female here, im pretty sure she does this shit so you think "guys are after her, I better treat her better". Its like she's trying to show her "worth" by there being guys that's interested in her, when in reality, they're interested in every female. Fail.

>>18025544
We are in an exclusive relationship, we both agreed on that.
>>18025570
I would say I'm treating her really well, I'm courting and dating her on a regular basis. We've been together for one and a half years. I wouldn't say I've relaxed, we do go out every week, but lately it's been her who just wants to stay home and watch movies. She's definitely the insecure type, but we've talked about it and she's seeing a psychologyst about that right now.

I failed to mention, that she's not really spending time with all these guys in her own free time, she's a student and these people study in the same group as she does.

>>18025657
it they are her study group then why has she elevated them to "best friend" status?

>>18025663
She elevated only one guy to that status, the one who's been previously hitting on her and probably still is interested. I was taken aback a little by that "best friend" out of nowhere, honestly. But I didn't say anything. She told me before that she was sitting with this dude during some lectures.

>>18025668
so what's your point? if she elevated him why not politely ask to meet her new best friend? you would do the same out of courtesy wouldn't you?

>>18025668
Do not give her even a finger.

Plain and simple, "I don't like you hanging out with guys who have shown interest in you. He's not your best friend, he's a guy that was attracted to you, I don't like you hanging out with him."

This guy sounds like plan B. Even if he isn't, his presence is not to your benefit.

>>18025676
This.

I do think it's best if you are just honest with her.
You said youself you don't wanna play games. So don't play any "it's been I week, I don't wanna show her it's bothering me" bullshit. Just be honest about your feelings, male or female.

I would call her out on the "best friend" thing. Like, how, when?
I honestly think she was just trying to get a reaction and you should talk to her, without being afraid of showing how you really feel and saying sorry for saying it doesn't bother you when it does.

>>18025676
Even under the circumstances, that sounds pretty controlling of a thing to say

>>18025702
You're too considerate. You really haven't internalized the seriousness of the statement "best friend". What she's essentially saying is "guy that I can hang out with even though we're a couple". And that is an absolute no.

>>18025447
No, this is simply immaturity. This is exactly the kind of dumb games girls play in high school because it's dramatic and, to some of them, exciting.

>>18025427
she's displaying typical sociopathic/narcissistic behavior, dump & move the fuck on, this aint' worth a thread in /adv/

>>18025676

Sounds too controlling and will only push her away and validate her feelings of resentment. Ask to meet with the dude seems to be the answer. She shouldn't have any issue with that out they're so close.

>>18025427
She's shit testing you if you stay and don't show her jealousy the more she IL want you, but if u break and show her she IL more than likely leave you for the other dud

>>18025783
You don't get it.

OP is in a relationship with a girl. The girl considers a DIFFERENT guy, NOT OP, her "best friend". Said guy has had an attraction to her before. This guy doesn't need to be in her life AT ALL.

Just what will introducing him to a guy that hit on her before accomplish? Nothing good. If you think he will stop being attracted to her because she's got a bf now, good luck with that.

You sound like the "nice guy". This shit is exactly why girls prefer bad boys over a beta. Possessiveness is sexy. Find someone who is a feminist like you

>>18025796
I suggest the introduction to test the gf's reaction not something for OP's benefit or to put the new guy on notice. If this guy doesn't mean anything to her she'll be ok with an introduction, in fact she should be the one that suggest it if the guy really is her "best friend". I suspect though he is not her best friend, she knows it and encouraging the guy and the last thing she wants it to discourage him with an introduction to her bf.

>>18025676
Coming from someone who is most definitely a plan B right now, I agree.

>>18025427
welcome to shit tests OP. also you just failed her shit test and you just fell from the social ladder. Do you think a guy with many options is going to get jealous of his girlfriend?

>>18025796
And this reminds me of a friend I had whose gf would cheat on him. She'd even bring an ex bf in his apartment while he was out at work busting his ass as a restaurant cook, and this guy, being "understanding" that they are no longer a couple, was okay with them being friends.

Really? You're okay with your gf being friends with a guy who's dick was in her? She even tried hitting on me once, through aol instant mssg, I couldn't believe it. But I should have. Her friends were dikes, sluts, shortsighted women. But because I always wanted to see the good in her, I threw it under the rug as a first and last time mistake.

Bitches be trouble, don't put up with stupid shit against your better judgement.

>>1802581
reverse tests are good

but unknowingly you're doing her a favor too. asking her to schedule a meeting with him fascilitates her outreach to him.

dude I say, fuck the bullshit and let her know exactly how you feel, that's how problems actually get solved. he will have no peace of mind knowing some straight guy who hit on her is still present in her life.

no means no. fucking no.

it isn't even worth the reverse psychology or trickery only to watch it blow up in his face.

>>18025816
>>18025849

>seriously needing to test people on their personality traits like it's fucking middle school

This is what happens to a society where dishonesty runs rampant, unchecked and embraced by all.

>>18025852
well you are in on a hell of a ride because women have the right to vote without the responsibility. society is going to get even worse because they think their feelings is the best for their country and lack abstract thinking.

>>18025427
If she keeps doing things like this, then you should consider breaking. The fact she asked why you never get jealous in the first place is already a massive red flag. Not being jealous is a good quality in a relationship, she should be praising you for it, not questioning you. She sounds emotionally immature and not worth your time OP

>>18025954
jealousy is what keeps people in check, it's not always bad, especially at the beginning of a relationship.

if a person in not jealous, they don't consider you very exclusive, therefore, OP's instictive jealous reaction is natural, he's protecting his mango, it ain't a crime.

What about if the gf in OPs post was a guy? My boyfriend has behaved like that many times.

>>18025427
My ex was like that, I'm jealous if I don't trust my partner. But I trusted in her, she said that being jealous is to "keep what is yours", but in reality of what I can say is if you trust your gf you wouldn't be jealous. But maybe she has to be sure that you know what you have, and it's her.


But if she still keeps playing games like that. Leave her. I regret leaving my ex when I wanted.

>>18025427
>suddenly she has a "best friend" with a guy who has been hitting on her in the past.

>>18027222
same applies

She wants you to get jealous. She wants to see that you have strong feelings for her and for you to lose your shit a little bit. Sounds like she's feeling like She doesn't matter. My advice: tell her not to talk to her "best friend" anymore, show her you're a man and you're not gonna take that shit. It sounds controlling and extreme but from the way you put it, sounds like she's trying to test you.