Should you say or do anything if you suspect that a friend keeps

What is wrong with that? I took cover from the world doing a PhD...

>>18023641
What are his plans and what field is he studying in ?

>>18023641

Listen, you can say how you feel, sure. Just be ready to have an open and honest conversation. Don't go looking for a fight. You don't KNOW what he is doing, you THINK you know what he is doing. Let him explain if he wants to and, well, have an adult conversation.

>>18023692
Because eventually they're going to have to go out in the real world and get a full time job. They can't keep hiding forever, plus it just digs them into a financial hole.

>I took cover from the world doing a PhD
Yeah, you're not really the best placed person to give advice on this

>>18023703
Her, actually. I don't want to write a novel on it, but basically by the time she finishes, she'll be 27 and have been studying since she left high school. She'll have a bachelors, honours, a masters and a PhD, all in psycholog. She's just started her PhD and has something like three years to go, but she's said that people don't normally do both a masters and a PhD. She has absolutely no idea what she'd want to do when she finishes, she has no interest in teaching.

Her bachelors was double majoring in English too (yes, I know)

>>18023712
That's the thing, I don't know if I should. Her student loan is something like 3-4 times the average student loan here, and that's already a bit of a touchy subject, so I'm not sure if I should bring it up. You're right in that I only have my suspicions and no real evidence, but I did mention it to my boyfriend (who's also a friend of hers) and he said it sounded right, though I know that could just be some sort of bias.

>>18023713
>getting a PhD in a non-stem subject

Ouch. Tell her she's in for a rude awakening.

>>18023719

Yeah, your BF might not be the best person to ask "Am I right about this?" haha.

> I'm not sure if I should bring it up.

She is your friend, not ours. We don't know how close you two are or how your relationship works. If you feel it wouldn't be right to talk about it, then don't. If you think you could, then do. Just remember the part about respecting her and her life.

>>18023724
I'd actually argue that having some sort of post-graduate qualification is even more important in something like psychology over something like engineering, but that's neither here nor there. The issue is that she doesn't NEED to do it, her masters is basically its equivalent for any job she'd end up doing that isn't teaching. She does have a scholarship for it, but that doesn't mean she needs it.

One big thing that makes me suspect she's scared to get a full time job is that after she finished her honours year, she took a semester of undergrad classes for absolutely no reason before she decided she wanted to do her masters. I also worry she's overestimating how much her education will be worth.

>>18023725
You're right. While I am worried she's become too comfy, I don't think I'll say anything because there's really nothing that can be done now that she's started her PhD. I just really don't want her to finish three years from now and be all "now what?"

>>18023713

> Because eventually they're going to have to go out in the real world and get a full time job. They can't keep hiding forever, plus it just digs them into a financial hole.

That is a financial problem, not a studying problem. Now I have a full time job and a succesful career... in another country, which I prefer.

Of course, any decision in life must be cost-analyzed.

It is absolutely normal to hide in a PhD, many people do it.

If it is not STEM it won´t be useful, indeed.

>>18023742
It's a financial and lifestyle problem caused by studying. In my friend's case, it's also redundant for her to keep studying.

>>18023746
She's not just hiding in a PhD, she's been doing it basically since she finished undergrad/honours.

>If it is not STEM it won´t be useful, indeed.
You don't think it's worth getting a masters or PhD over just a bachelors in psychology and English?

>>18023747

You cannot decide it for her. I didn´t know what to do in life until I finished my PhD.

>>18023754
>Yes, I know it's their life, but as a friend you tend to care what happens to that person

>>18023753

It won´t help her find a job, probably, but who knows...

>>18023757

If there is a problem, she has to realize it be herself. If she is not feeling economic pain, then I would continue with the PhD.

>>18023760
I'm pretty sure the research experience that she has from doing post-grad study will make her more employable than having a mere bachelors.

>>18023764
Like I said, her student loan is 3-4 times the average student loan where I live. She does have a scholarship for the PhD, but there are restrictions on working alongside studying as a condition, so the longer she studies, the longer she's not working and the longer it is until she can start to pay it off. She's also admitted that she's ignoring her student loan. It's not affecting her now, but it will in the not-too-distant, and the PhD probably isn't going to increase her earning potential enough to make it worth it.