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I think the guy I'm seeing might be a virgin... how do I

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I think the guy I'm seeing might be a virgin... how do I go about this without freaking him out? We're both 31 and I had a feeling he was inexperienced, but after getting to know him more, I'm definitely getting the feeling he might have never been with a girl before and I'm a bit nervous. Is it the same with guys, where becoming overly attached tends to happen with your first?

He dodges the question when I ask if he's ever slept with anyone before (he's fucking good at this.) But that's also part of my problem too, because I also don't want to fuck with someone who might give me the herps.

Any older virgins around here who can give me advice on being sensitive here? Really don't want to freak him out or embarrass him.
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why do you care?
t. 23 yo virgin
didn't you know it's a source of shame for men?
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>>18023361
I agree it's not your business whether he's a virgin or not but as for
>I also don't want to fuck with someone who might give me the herps.
Tell him you want him to be tested for STDs before you sleep with him. Be tested yourself too. That's just something you should be doing regularly anyway, especially when you get a new partner.
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>>18023369
That's exactly why I care because I don't want him to feel ashamed and I don't want to say or do anything that is going to make him feel like shit for it. Honestly, I think it's cute, but I'm a bit afraid of that whole "first fuck attachment" thing. I know chicks get it bad, I got it bad for my first, but do guys get it? I like him but I'm afraid of him becoming wildly attached and getting hurt if we don't work out.

Also, I could just be wrong and he's avoiding the subject because he secretly bangs hookers and has the herps.

Both scenarios suck.
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Does op have a virgin fetish
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>>18023361

this is the current meme right ?

10 threads today about virgins, so far 47 this week
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>>18023406
You're supposed to get attatched to people, that's what guarantees success. If I wasn't somehow emotionally invested in you, I probably wouldn't wanna raise kids with you. Same should go for women, it's hookup culture that makes you think this is somehow inferior behavior.

This I feel is why some women try guilt tripping guys into being fathers later, as opposed to naturally letting the relationship evolve.
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>>18023428
get a life buddy, lol
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>>18023361

Anon here is right >>18023401

You can ask him if he is clean and shit for your health. Asking him "Are you a virgin?" because he might become too attached would be overstepping. After all, non-virgins get attached overtly attached, too. It's more of a personality thing.

So ask for health, not for "profiling".
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I don't see why asking him if he's a virgin would be "overstepping". I'd like to know about my partner's sexual history in general (or general numbers), whether it's 50 or 0. Anyone acting dodgy about it would undermine my idea of a relationship based on trust.

Just tell him you suspect he's a virgin because he's skipping around the subject. And that you really don't mind, but that you feel it's normal or important to talk about your sexual past (for trust based reasons). I got to say, odds are that he might say he lost it to a hooker or two (which is why I suspect he's making a bit of an issue out of it). So you might want to add that you won't judge, but that you feel honesty is one of the fundamentals of a good relationship.
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>>18023759
>So you might want to add that you won't judge

That's the point, she is judging. She thinks "virgin" = "overattachment". Will she tell him that? After all, it's about honesty, isn't it?

That's what I mean. Her health? That's about her, she can demand info. About him being a virgin? Not really about her, is it? The same applies to multiple partners, by the way. Demand the other person to be clean, but don't demand a head count.
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>>18023792

I don't think it's bad if she'd tell him that too, to be honest. It can be harsh, but if he starts noticing she feels held back in any way, it's better for him to know the reason why than to leave him speculating. They key (like in any good communicative relationship) is to tell the other "I feel..." and then asking if he feels that's justified, or how he would feel about the situation. Sure it won't be a very easy conversation, but when you start this early in your relationship, you'll benefit from it long term and it will build a tremendous amount of trust, and if you remain reasonable, more mutual respect.

If this isn't something you want it's another story, but that would be my advice. Been with my first highschool love for almost 20 years now and I feel communication and appreciation for one another really solves any problem in the end.
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I havent been with a girlfriend oin a decade.

Be careful. He might be wounded. Like I said before... Put the pride of asking and supremacy in sexual matters aside. I like a girl that wants to be a psychiatrist but if all she does is analyze me... It will be no bueno. Similarly... If that's all I do.. I can't expect her to like me. Feelings are mutual.
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>>18023792
Not assuming, just asking if it's the same for men. Women don't always do it, but it's common. It's why some men avoid banging virgins, because some girls get over attached and don't cope well when it's not one fuck and happily ever after. Sometimes relationships don't work out. I really like this guy. I think if it's similar for guys, I may actually slow things down.
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>>18023428
Have you counted the deleted ones? I tried to bait with a "used goods" thread a few days ago and our new janitor deleted it a few minutes later.
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>>18023406
>Honestly, I think it's cute, but I'm a bit afraid of that whole "first fuck attachment" thing. I know chicks get it bad, I got it bad for my first, but do guys get it? I like him but I'm afraid of him becoming wildly attached and getting hurt if we don't work out.

Then let him get hurt. Pain is part of fucking life, he's a grown-ass man and why do you assume he cannot endure what you did?

Also are you like this with every guy? It sounds like you're seeking reasons to not have sex with him. Dump him now and save both of yourselves the trouble.
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