I'm only ever happy if I'm working. Today was a day-off

I hope bumping is okay

Work will set you free, anon.

A retreat could help, but it won't change your life on its own. It might offer you a different perspective, but you'll have to do most of the work yourself. See, issues like that are really complicated, because identifying the reason is pretty hard. The first thing that comes to mind is meditation though. Just don't expect fast results. Also read "Happiness" by Matthieu Ricard and "10% happier" by Dan Harris by I guess.

If you can afford a vacation take it. Going to a Buddhist retreat or living in solitude could be a life-changing experience indeed, but it might just as not be boring. Don't get your expectations too high. What you should aim for is slow change, not an immediate fix.

Besides the meditation thing you should try to figure out what really matters to you. What do you want to do in life? What interests you? What can you be passionate about?
If the answer to these questions is "IDK" or "nothing" you're most likely depressed.
You should do a list of 5 things you want to do or achieve and work towards them in your spare time. It can be anything, from climbing a mountain to writing a novel. If you can't come up with anything that might interest you keep trying new things.

Also, if you do decide to go for the retreat thing, do it after a few months of daily meditation, if you do it in your state it may be pointless. When you're in solitude you have a good opportunity to acknowledge and embrace your own emotions, feelings and mental state, which can lead to changes. It's how some people cure depression or anxiety without even realizing it. But if you do it in your current state, while being unaware of what's going on in your head it will likely have no results. But, again, don't count on it. Slow but steady change is guaranteed if you put in intelligent effort. This kind of instant "cure" is not.

>>18016151
Thank you.

I do have goals in life, but those goals seem pointless when I start doing them. Like all my work is fruitless.

I think a change of environment would prove useful. It's just that I can't just drop out of school temporarily and drive across the country. Living costs money and more so if you want a more adventurous life. It is a sad but true thing.

>>18016003
From what it sounds like you are lonely. In all of those problems you state you seem to imply that it is you all by yourself done by yourself. You need some human interaction. No, a computer does not count.

>>18016376
I live in a pretty rural area. The people around me are, sorry to say, white hicks and niggers. The lowest of the low. I don't connect with anybody. Online friends is all I have.

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>>18016520
I'll be your friend anon. I have the same problems as you. maybe we can help each other.

>>18016003
>feeling lethargic and sad
>Playing games is a chore, drawing is a chore, reading is a chore, watching movies is a chore,
watching anime is a chore, exercising is a chore

That sounds like depression to me

You need to take up a hobby. Arts and crafts are easy ones. Be shameless and indulge in them. Make the cheesiest homemade pink rose candle. Make gingerbread soap. Paste a corny ass scrapbook together. Draw some nude chicks.
Take up any hobby and do it shamelessly because its a hobby and you arent obligated to show anyone your work

Hey Anon, I come from a family with a long history of depression. Myself, my mother, and her mother all have depression. And something my mother always told me was that if I ever felt the way you are describing that I neededicated to see a doctor.

Depression is always portraited as sadness, but when in all reality it's just being numb and lonely. There are points of happiness, but happyness is not something you really feel on a day to day basis.

Please Anon, go see a doctor and try and find something that works for you.

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>>18016910
I always wanted cute type A personality otaku friends... I never meet any working in finance. ;_; I thought about moving to a game company before but my professional drive wouldn't let me.

I'm not really addicted to work myself though, I used to do it for 11 hours a day and that was too much. I still like reading manga (and career-related books) and watching an hour of anime a day. Work is just to achieve my goals and hobbies are included in that list for me.

>>18017016
>like spice and wold and holo

that's it, please be my friend

>>18016003

I'm in a similar situation to you OP. But unlike you I don't have a lot of "fun things" I could be doing. So mind explaining what those fun things you keep putting off are?

>>18016003
iktf OP
Here's things i do on my day off:
>spend extra time at the gym that I normally wouldn't have time for
>figure out something really nice to cook for dinner that I normally wouldn't feel like doing because it's too time consuming, go buy the ingredients etc
>go shopping for new clothes if I need some, it's nice to go during a weekday when stores aren't crowded
>spend time outside if the weather is nice, go for a walk, jog or bike ride

All things that get you out of the house and feel at least a bit productive