I'm dealing with a potential work place romance. I might

>>18013658
Bump.

>>18013658
If this has only been going on for a week then you barely know her, right? Why does it have to be romance at this point? Just work on being friends and if the romance is there it will fold naturally. Notice cues if she drops and if you both do become friends then do cues yourself.

>>18013727
The semi-flirty email has been going on for a week. The rest of it a closer to a month. She initiated it and strikes me as the type that goes for what she wants...which turns me on even more.

She's also offered to buy me stuff from a convenience store nearby.

I don't know how to do the friends thing well. Socially I'm fucked up. Where should I go from here? Ask her to join me for lunch in the break room when we share shifts? Won't that come off as needy and weird?

>>18013735
>I don't know how to do the friends thing well. Socially I'm fucked up.

Kek stfu man, you're doing just fine right now aren't you? You think you'll get better in a relationship? You have to let go of that if any relationship is going to work. And yes, ask her to join you for lunch, or even go out. A date doesn't always have to be about the romance. Just get to know her better. Ask her questions about her family, dreams, hobbies, let her know how you feel about them, don't make the questions like an interview. You just have to engage in dialogue, if you two are compatible everything else will come naturally.

>>18013743
The problem is, once I think a woman is interesting in me, I turn nervous and whiny or clingy. I think it's because I'm intimidated by a woman that actually interests me being interested. I'm trying to remind myself she's just as imperfect as I am, but seriously.

I figured I could ask her if she wants to have lunch together in the breakroom next week. She often acts kind of hurt when I say, "See you next week" on the one day when we are almost guaranteed to see each other. I figure inviting her to lunch on a day when I'm working on another floor would seem like I care too much, but maybe I'll try next week and ask her what she thought of a band I suggested and tell her what I thought about a band she mentioned to me. Does that sound weird?

>>18013762
>That whole first paragraph

Not trying to bring you down OP, but you sound very immature. Take this time to work on yourself. I recommend a book called The People Project by Steve Laswell. It's about developing your social and leadership skills to better your work environment, but obviously it all starts with improving your own communication, which is universal in all of life. Push aside those feelings, read a little and get to know your weaknesses so that you can improve on them.

When you talk with her try focusing on how your tone is. Try not to fluctuate your voice too much, there are some videos on YouTube that can explain this a little better but being less fluctuate give the impression that your more engaged in the person, therefore the conversation, it also shows confidence. And no talking about music you recommended to each other is not weird, it's a conversation. You're doing it right OP you're just letting yourself get in the way.

>>18013790
Most of it's nervous energy. I'm mature outside of romantic relationships, or relationships period, at least in the moment. When I'm by myself, I know what I have to do better, but when it comes time to do it I crumble.

I'm working on the less fluctuation thing already, but that is good advice. Thanks for the reminder if nothing else.

>>18013813
Seriously, read that book. It sounds like you need it and it helped me out considerably. I have a feeling you're going to do just fine OP, it sounds to me like you guys get along and she probably does like you. You already said yourself you know what to do, sometimes it helps to have it put into a different perspective though which is why I recommend you try to read some kind of social self help book, if anything for the assurance. Good luck.

>>18013816
I'm not for self-help books, but maybe you've got a point. In some ways, self-help philosophy made me the whiner I am today. I decided to stop "pretending to be someone I'm not" by hiding my insecurities and that turned me into an unconfident weirdo. Most people are like that on the inside. Not telling everyone isn't lying; it's being a functional human being.

The reassurance has helped if nothing else. I'll ask her if she wants to join me for lunch in the break room next week and see what happens.

>>18013826
>I'm not into self-help books

Then I'll try to get to the point. Basically ask more, tell less. Open ended questions invite discussion and allows you to connect on a deeper level. You mentioned you're intimidated by women who you share a mutual interest with you and that you try to remind yourself that they aren't perfect. Use your questions to find out what interests her, such as the one you've already done; Music. Once you establish her interests it will be easier to understand her and her interests in you. You'll discover what you enjoy that you can share with each other and you'll see those imperfections in her that you seem to find hard to see. Imperfections are fine of course but there equally important to know. It's all about seeing her as who she is, what engages and interests her and what downsides she has and how you can best react to them. It's kind of a game in its own way but these things are the key to developing a respectable relationship with anyone and with everything you're learning about her, I bet the less time you have to whine. Nervousness will pass when you get to know her and her more comfortable with her.

Trust me, I know how you feel. I have a date this weekend with a girl I'd otherwise think was out of my league, but I have to push back her beauty and soft voice to not be nervous around her. You just have to focus on building the social construct of your relationship between each other and it all starts with getting to know them.

Sorry if none of this shit turned out to make any sense. I'm tired and I'm literally just trying to spit out as much as I can for you. Again, good luck OP, you're going to do just fine and have fun having lunch with her next week.