My gf broke up with me three days ago. She just changed her Facebook

>>18011928
>My sister says she never really wanted to commit to me to begin with and had no idea how to be in a relationship. Is this true? And is there no hope for us anymore?
Listen to your sister. I have no idea why this woman decided to date you, but based on what you've posted, you were never in a real relationship. She was using you.

>>18011943
She had never dated or loved anyone before. This made me feel like I was really special at first, even if her actions said otherwise.

She'd have these long stretches of disdain and distance coupled with bursts of incredible passion that made me hopeful for us.

Forget dat girl anon.. il finden another one ... she wount be the one ether, illegalen garanti it... just go in to Relationships knowing they will endlich sooner or later (max 1 year) cause Depending on how old u are, there will be plenty of relationships in your life ... and thats good, cause it make u a better lover / Partner every time one of you brake up... because what counts is that in the end, you find a woman that truely live you / and vice versa of curse... for example ... I also had my Hand full of heart breaks... but that feeling will Pass ... you will learn to exept the ending of a Relationship. .. and with that you can learn. .. learn how to speak, love, make love and simply her happy. .. all for the final women ... the one you will keep for ever (hopefully, unless ur a unfaithfull fag oc xD)

>>18011945
>She had never dated or loved anyone before. This made me feel like I was really special at first, even if her actions said otherwise.
Pay attention to actions over words. Shitty people like to tell "little lies" that make the other person temporarily feel good.

>She'd have these long stretches of disdain and distance coupled with bursts of incredible passion that made me hopeful for us.
I'm guessing there was someone else. I wouldn't be surprised if you were the other guy.

>>18011971
Please learn sentence structure before posting. Christ on a cracker.

>>18011982
As far as anyone else, I know there wasn't. She constantly opened her phone near me and handed it to me when she had no pocket, I had access to it and one time, I'll admit, feeling suspicious, even looked through it. I'm 100% sure it was just the both of us.

But I just don't get her. She wanted to give up on us ALL THE TIME, it was like she didn't know how to commit. She had ever even hooked up with only one person seriously before me. The only explanation I can think of is that it was too much, too soon for her. She wanted to treat us like we were two single people who see each other sometimes.

She said "I kept waiting hoping it would get better, but it didn't," but never complained to me about anything, said she was happy to be with me the entire time. We were nearly a year together.

>>18011971
What language is this xD

I went through a similar situation.

I was with a girl I loved, but she was a bit younger and less experienced than I was.

Molested at a young age, and abused and lied to her by her parents the entire time. Well, we started as FWB, and had a good relationship, which after a few months, we decided to be an exclusive couple, and life was great.

I caught her later in our relationship having internet affairs with guys online, and when confronted her about it, all she could do was deny and lie her way out of it. Even with proof right in front of her.

We ended up breaking up, and getting back together a few times.. Before I broke up with her for the final time, our relationship was like you described, but with me, the guy as the dismissive one.

I couldn't get enough time to myself, I barely wanted to have sex with her, I couldn't stand to look at her in the face anymore. My life was shit, and I wasn't in love with her, despite all the hard work we'd been putting into our relationship to make it work previously.

Our relationship dragged on like this for another year before I got the courage to call it off.

Being alone and depressed sucks.. But, that's when I turn to video games.

It might sound weird, but honestly taking your basic Advil/Aleve whatever generic pain medication really helped with my suffering after the relationship, despite being the one to fall out of love, and let her go. I still hold on to all those what if's.

>>18011928
Sounds like you didn't really lose much then, anon. I know it hurts now but after you get over the initial break up shit you're going to feel a lot better.

>>18011988
>She constantly opened her phone near me and handed it to me when she had no pocket, I had access to it and one time, I'll admit, feeling suspicious, even looked through it.
Some people are really good at hiding things. I found that out the hard way.

>>18012041
I know in my case it wasn't really a change because she'd been like this from the beginning. The frequency was always extremely low, and I hoped over time as we got closer it would get better, but it never did. It's like we never progressed.

She always felt a million miles away.

>>18011928
You'll find someone else and forget about her as time passes and when you look back at today you will think that she was a bitch and you were an idiot to waste time with someone like her.So the faster you move on the better

>>18012047
How'd you start a relationship with someone who doesn't even like you?

>>18012051
Like I said, stretches of distance and bursts of extreme passion. She's not a present person to ANYONE, but we started hitting it off and even though right at the beginning, recalling now, before we even actually got into a serious relationship, already there were some shit attidudes that bugged me, I could never really point and say "this is a bad idea" because she'd do a reversal on me all the time.

She always thought about herself more. Always. I could point out a million scenarios where this was clear. But sometimes, even at the end, even this month, she'd turn around and be wanting to hug me and love me and prove that she liked me and we'd laugh until we ran out of breath and I'd think this was worth it, that she just wasn't good at showing love all the time.

I still don't even know, right now, if she loves me or not. It was just extremely confusing.

>>18012055
How long were you together?

>>18012071
Nine months.

Girls are crazy

All of them.

>>18011928

she wasnt that into you in the first place.

>>18012055
She was just manipulating you. One sided relationships never work out.

So you ended a shitty relationship? You should be happy anon. get a fucking hobby you boring faggot. Make art.

>>18011928
>>broke up with me saying she needed to think more about herself, because she'd been thinking about me too much
She has serious commitment issues. Typically people in relationships think about the other all the time, and that's totally normal.

You deserve better than this, anon. She'll always be who she is. She might change slightly, but she'll never turn into the gushing loving girlfriend that you want. The only thing she'd be capable of is compromise. And don't you want to be with someone who's actually excited to be with you?

>>18012139
I do. And I know all this, but holy fuck, I love her so much. We've known each other for years now, and it never worked out exactly because of the way she is.

Her friends were shocked when they heard we were dating. Both she and her friends always thought she'd never date anyone in her life.

>>18012158
She's a sociopath. You were just unlucky enough to cross paths with her.

File: a84x6p3_460s_v1.jpg (78KB, 460x608px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 460x608px

also 9 months is a shitty amount of time to break up with someone after.. just saying.. I was on the receiving end of this once. Now i have silly trust issues that i can't help.

Consider.. what did the person suddenly figure out after 9 months of fucking that wasn't apparent after, say 3-4months?

Maybe after a year or two something changes or becomes apparent that wasn't clear at the start of a relationship but 9 months..??


IMHO unless there is an obvious extenuating circumstance there shouldn't really be a reason why someone should be stringing a dude along that long.

TL:DR 9 months is a shitty length of relationship in my opinion

>>18012198
Maybe it took her 9 months to get past the "Oh, how cute, sometimes he leaves his wet towels on the bathroom floor" to "If I have to throw out one more mildewy-ass towel I am going to fucking kill somebody."
I mean, from here I can tell you are terrible. Maybe it just took her longer to figure that out. How long does it take you to really get to know somebody without getting to read their whiney shitposts on 4chan?

>>18012239
hey look, i wasn't saying the person isn't entitled to break up after 9 months. I just think 'it takes two to tango' . I think it is telling of a failure to communicate by the other party. Does something I do bother you.. then tell me. Don't wait 9 months then drop me in it.

>>18012198
>>18012239
>>18012359
She said it wasn't about fights, it wasn't about other people, it wasn't about anything in particular. Her words were "I just thought and realized I didn't wanna be with you anymore."

>>18012417
That's a valid reason to break up with somebody

File: absolutelynothingwrong.png (2MB, 2105x1780px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2105x1780px

>>18011928
>My sister says she never really wanted to commit to me to begin with and had no idea how to be in a relationship. Is this true?

Nah

She knows how to be in a relationship. Maybe not your idea of one,but she knows her own and that's why she broke up with you with the reason of "thinking about you" instead of talking to you about it.

And she did want to commit,you just lacked your own drive to keep her coming back and wondering about you. You could've "cheated" on her by making more female acquaintances,you could've had her friends gossip about you by hanging with them,you could've dove into your own major hobby (yes even Vidya can count as a major hobby). I don't know if you kept trying to get her attention but you probably were not very stable.

>And is there no hope for us anymore?
There almost always is. Just keep it cool and say something along the lines of that if she ever wants to catch up or hang out, she should feel free to come at you.

I also had(keyword: HAD) a girl that had a pretty fucked communication problem like yours OP so don't relate too hard but generally whenever she gave me issues is when I wasn't "baiting" her or didn't know when to take a step back and let her come to me.

This girls sounds an awfully lot like me and I also came out of a 11 month relationship for the same reasons

Personally I do have commitment issues and also schizoid tendencies, it's like the closer I get to people the less (it looks like) I love them. I didn't cheat either, we just grew apart because of his expectations and different ideas of what a relationship should be like.

I'm sorry you went through this. She is either cold/detached and didn't know how to act/be in a typical relationship or she may be seeking to experiment and a few months are enough, dpending on how close you two got, for the novelty to wear off.

>>18012776
>dpending on how close you two got

She used to say we looked like a couple who has been together for decades. We were completely comfortable around each other, I mean COMPLETELY, in every sense.

Do you still love him? Would you think someday you two might try again?

>>18012776
Fuck off.

>>18012778
He used to say the same because we both were very comfortable around each other.

I don't, I don't even know if I ever loved him the way people love each other but I cared for him and had this sort of attachment to him. But we broke off on different terms so it shouldn't apply in your case.

If she prefers distance to familiarity and intimacy, she may one day reconsider what you had. But it sounds like you have different needs so if you felt repressed, you'd probably feel the same, at best, if that ever happens. She can't provide you with an emotional bond and you'll always feel cut off and like a burden to her.

>>18012794
and why exactly are y

>>18012801
and why exactly are you butthurt?*

>>18012799
>But we broke off on different terms

How different?

Because as she was breaking up with me she was saying she still loved me and would always love me in some way, that I was her first love, etc., but she didn't love me like she used to. She kept saying she'd never forget me but I didn't FEEL any love at all.

>>18012810
She is NOT going to give you her pussy.

>>18012810
We got into more and more fights because our love style was incompatible and he gradually became frustrated and feeling rejected. This is why I don't recommend you two going back together even if she comes back to you by some chance because people don't change and you'll end up unhappy. It may seem at the moment like you'd be willing to be understanding and compromise in such a situation, but it's not going to work. Well that's my two cents on it.

Maybe she did love you in her own way. Maybe like other anons have said, she wasn't/isnt ready for a committed relationship. Or maybe she noticed your feelings and felt guilty for not being able to reciprocate the way you needed? Hard to tell, it could be a bit of everything but it's best to move on either way..