>>18011397
Just say what you just typed. tell him he can trust you and you're there to help him. That nothing he can say will make you think less of him.

I'm telling you this as someone who's been on that guy's end. He's crying for help man.

>>18011397
I'm not sure you really need advice on this, I think you will kniw exactly what to say. Be as compassionate and honest to him as you are now, you're doing fine.

>>18011403
This.

The rest of the conversation will flow naturally. Just be honest and don't talk down or be overly nice. Be fair and supportive.

>>18011423
Ok, so I say this to him, somehow, at some point. I cant just text him it out of the blue, I feel like I gotta meet up with him, but i dont want to put him into a corner either. I gotta find a way to make it organic.

>>18011403
But that's the thing, Ive been in this situation before, and I did not respond well. One of my friends one time opened up to me about his childhood, how he had to live with his grandparents, and then moved to a different state with a completely different culture and no friends, how he acted out in school and ended up in juvenile and some of the shit he had to deal with. I didnt know what to say, I clammed up. All I could say is "im sorry to hear that" and "that sucks". Part of this was because we were high, and I can barely communicate when the subject is light, nevermind some deep, uncomfortable shit. I felt extremely bad, I didnt know what to do. Do I comfort him? How do I do that? Ive never experienced anything close to that. How could I relate?

What I want is for them to feel like they're being listened to.That I care about what they're saying, that opening up was a good decision and not a mistake. How do I convey that properly?

I'll be honest here, I'm expecting him to drop a cancer bomb on me, he's been having some medical issues lately, he's told me he has to get some tests done. I think the whole "I dont want to bring it up until I know" was a major clue to that. What do I do there? How do I respond to that? I cant give him advice, I cant tell him what he should do if I were in his shoes. I feel lost.

>>18011397
You're worrying about the wrong thing. Your role in the looming conversation is not to SAY anything but to LISTEN. He needs to talk about the thing, to free it from being bottled up inside him, and to hear himself saying it out loud. Your being there to hear it is really just an excuse for the other things to happen.

(I once got very painfully dumped by a gf. My circle vaguely knew about it, but only one guy sensed how really unhappy I was. He took me aside, sat me down and said "Talk." I will be forever grateful to him.)