How do I stop being an awkward fuck? How do I learn how to talk

Quit worrying about what people think, first off. Second, get a job where you talk to a lot of people. A customer service-type job. Or, put yourself in a position where you have to explain something you're knowledgeable about to other people; either for a job or in school. Being a university student will fix that awkward social behavior very quickly. You will be forced to learn material and verbally explain your knowledge at some point as a student. In other words, your success will rely on effective communication skills. So if you find yourself succeeding in school or a job like the one I've described, then your social skills are adequate.
In summary, if you're fairly intellegent and fairly confident, you won't have an issue.

>>18009799
I am a uni student. And I have a job at the campus library right now. I've been here for almost a year now (ever since I started college again) and I still can't seem to get used to talking to people. The worst part is when I have to talk on the phone. Every day is stressful to me. I have a nervous smile as well and my mouth starts twitching after a while. To be honest the only reason I still have this job is because I'm too scared to talk to my supervisor to tell her I want to quit.

Read the Art of Witty Banter by Patrick King. The first few chapters are all that's necessary since it explains the structure and flow of any conversation.

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I find practicing conversation with yourself works, I'd record myself talking about something I enjoy or about myself and then I'd listen and work on the bad, like long pauses, correct myself less, speak louder/clearer, etc.

>>18009463
focus on everybody and everything's inevitable death and decay

>>18009799
^
Basically what this person said.

I used to be super awkward around other people and I could not form sentences unless I drowned myself in caffeine and sugar and forced my brain to come up with shit faster. It also made me seem giddy and friendly, but it was just a sugar high.

You just HAVE to go through the long, painful process of talking to people, hating how you sound, and then just do it over again. Rinse and repeat. It's the only way man. I had a customer service job that made me wanna fucking die, and it also included talking on the phone and helping customers find clothes and answer questions and blah blah blah....it was awful. But after maybe like a year of doing it, I was a fucking pro. I was the best seller and had the best people skills in the whole damn joint. I was even considered for a promotion to supervisor.

You just gotta keep at it. Don't give up. No matter how much you make yourself cringe, just remember that it gets better the more you do it. You'll learn from your mistakes and you'll get better at it. If you can, try to listen to how people around you talk and imitate them a bit. This will at least help with sentence structure and formalities.