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How do you cope with being 'forever alone'? I just

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How do you cope with being 'forever alone'? I just hit 30, never had a relationship. This shit didn't bother me much before since I was tuning it out, but I'm starting to feel lonelier and lonlier with each passing year, and feel I have significantly less worth as a person since nobody has ever looked at me as someone worth loving. At this point I'm obviously never finding anyone, but is there a way to make the shitty feelings go away, or at least numb them? Can't do drugs or anything like that, so I was thinking of turning to drink to numb the pain.
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>>18006994
What is it that makes you think you're UN-love-able?

Have you tried talking to girls/guys online? joining a "class" - yoga, meditation, any form of art (painting, ceramics..), even taking up surfing (if you live by the coast).. there are many options out there anon and until you've exhausted all of them don't believe you're unworthy of having a love, even the worst most horrible people find love ~ you can't quit, you're only 30 - there are people I have met that are in their 50's and have been single for years (most of the time because they are self centered and focus on their jobs/hobbies).. but I mean.. people are out there and there are lots of girls/guys like you..

What things do you like? Whats your life like?

Don't turn to drinking, it's a short term mess - it feels good for the first few days and then it becomes an unhealthy god awful sad and pathetic mess - unless you're going to a bar or some type of social setting try not to drink alone, alcohol enables horrible behavior - if anything take up smoking marijuana and going to therapy/starting new hobbies. Focus on yourself anon and try to make some new friends whether online or iRL
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>>18006994

I know how the "race" feels. Everyone else is getting "experience" and you are "left behind". But here's the thing:

Realistically speaking, there's no difference between a person that had 0, 1, 2 or even 3 partners. Emotional development is a crapshot, and sexual performance is not that noticeable.

What I'm saying is, just because you've been single so far doesn't mean you are a worst candidate.

Now the question goes here:

> I have significantly less worth as a person since nobody has ever looked at me as someone worth loving.

Why is that? What has stopped you from getting with someone? Identify that, and work on it. Only way to solve a problem is finding it first.
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>>18007023
>>18007027
>>18007023
Online I've had friends, but lost contact with them. I CAN talk to people online, in fact I find it miles easier to do so, but irl I become an awkward mess, stutter and struggle to keep conversations going. Even when it seems like I HAVE managed to have a fun, engaging conversation with another person and it seems like I've made a connection with them even on a small level, they'll never make any sort of effort to talk to me again. I'm always that guy who has to initiate things, and there's always a vibe of the other person just wanting me to go away or leave them be.

I got a job recently, a hobby I turned into a career and something I'm really passionate about, and thought I'd make a ton of friends at my workplace because of it, but it hasn't really worked out. I try to keep up with them, join in conversations, but I can never make people laugh or keep them engaged, I gradually just end up being overwhelmed and fade into the background.


I dunno man, I just can't socialise with people. I can never say the right things or make the right jokes and end up looking like an empty-headed imbecile/
I guess I KNOW what my problem is, and that's that I'm a social retard and get extremely anxious in social situations. It's a problem I've tried to fix countless times before, fuck, just last month I went to a work Christmas party, something I've never done before. It didn't go well at, but I really fucking tried to be a normal person and talk to people, but I ended up going blank and shrinking into the background again.
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>>18007046

So what? You have interests and you have abilities. You have a life to share and experiences to talk about. I assume you have projects for the future, too.

You are as interesting as the people around you. Maybe you are not a social butterfly, but whatever.

One thing I'm picking up is that you want to be "normal" and "make connections". Well, maybe you come off too strong because of that. Learn to relax and just hang out. And be prepared for some rejection. No one is liked by all. So even if you made a big effort and went to that party (awesome!) it doesn't mean you'll leave with a new friend. Let things develop.
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I'm in a sort of similar position to you OP so I'm not sure what advice I can give. But I do think it's important not to panic and not to try to change yourself in every way, becoming a sort of fake version of yourself. Remember also how many relationships end up bad. Lots of people are unmarried at 50 and then just live out their lives single and seem content enough. If something comes along I'm sure I'll be happy with it, if not then maybe it wasn't to be. It's definitely not everything and forcing it is unlikely to work.
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>>18006994

take pride and be grateful for what you do have. you made it to thirty without a relationship. that sucks, but you can put your energy into making the rest of your life more fruitful.
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