Thread replies: 16
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2
File: IMG_0302.jpg (64KB, 900x900px) Image search:
[Google]
64KB, 900x900px
I really need help with a problem I have been having all my life?
What are some best excercises or methods to that I can practice or do that would help me avoid loving my gf too much?
Like its to the point where its clingy and shes not a fan of it, but loves me so puts up with it and even I know its too much. Like, I need to be hugging her and kissing her constantly. Im trying to fight it, like I promise I want to try to give her space, but its like I cant help it and I cant understand why.
Basically, I am living with her family until I can move out. A few months ago we started dating and its been going great. Shes literally perfect for me and we already talk about kids and marriage and our future so its mutual. My fear is that my clingyness will mess things up and drive her away. Its pretty bad, like if I hear her voice early in the morning, even if i slept for 3 hours, my heart beats fast enough like I did a light jog and im awake, even when im trying to sleep. With anyone else I can fall asleep thru it with no problem. We have been dating for 3 months more or less and living with each other but separate rooms out of respect for her parents. We also did everything but sex, shes a virgin and wants to wait til marriage so Im respecting that too.
So thats some back story and some advice would be appreciated on how to manage this obsession of my gf. I try keeping busy and even then having her around is hard to concentrate.
>>
>>18002140
>Basically, I am living with her family until I can move out. A few months ago we started dating and its been going great.
You've only been dating for a few months? Yikes.
>>
>>18002149
Yea well I was staying with them prior to us dating
>>
bump for assistance
>>
>>18002140
Just pretend not to be clingy if you really think that will solve it, but unfortunately the problem goes deeper than that.
"Too clingy" is mostly a bullshit excuse. It really means "i'm not too interested in you and I constantly have second thoughts".
Prepare for the relationship to end.
>>
>>18002272
She never brought it up, like at all. I was the one who notices it and I know it was a problem in the past with other women. Im just being smart and being aware of what can potentially be a problem since I can kinda seeing it be an issue if I continue.
>>
There's probably some deeper issues, which I'm not gonna touch with a 10-foot pole.
But a simple solution might be to masturbate more.
Boiling it down to it's crudest basics, affection is just the drive to fuck. So, bringing yourself to sexual exhaustion might work for turning the hug-meter down a notch
>>
Most of the time if someone is clingy it is because they have insecurities that make them feel like the person they like/love would leave them for. So they try to make it up by being overly affectionate. You probably need to look in the mirror and figure out your insecurities and work on being more comfortable and confident. That will help your attachment issue.
>>
>>18002140
Get a life. Seriously. Get some hobbies and friends that don't include her. You have no self esteem.
>>
>>18002296
lmao, you're so fucked.
>>
>>18002320
dude, how about you shut the fuck up? huh? yea. That's what I thought XD
>>
>>18002328
Wait no cause I'm in prevention mode. So far we are good. She is super happy with me and we planned our future well today. She thinks she's going to wear the pants in the relationship, I laughed.
But yea, I think so far it's going well, I just really need to stop being clingy. I at least didn't do the jealous thing I use to do, like ask who she is with, her past exs, who she is texting... she tells me all the guys who hit on her so she's honest. Idk, it's just I want to prevent an issue and me being clingy will be an issues in the future if I don't fix it now.
>>
>>18002140
Do what I do, think how I'm inadequate for her and so I do "reality checks" on myself when I feel I'm getting too clingy. I just think I'm no good enough for her so I have no right to bother her too much.
>>
>>18002140
>I am living with her family until I can move out. A few months ago we started dating
Stopped reading
>>
Look, anon, when you make a bf/gf the center of your universe, you put a lot of pressure on them. They can't be the fountainhead of your happiness and their own. It doesn't work like that.
You need to take stock of the positive things in your relationship, and recognize that there are things you can do to support it, and things that will hurt it. Being too clingy is the latter, as you know. To be supportive, in this case, you need to develop yourself personally, perhaps professionally and seek out other sources of happiness for you, rather than your gf. Feel free to share those things, if she likes them too, but focus on your own development.
Look, I've been married a long time. My kids are probably only a few years younger than you. My wife and I have a wonderful dynamic, but we each have our own interests and hobbies, and allow each other to enjoy them. They don't interfere with our marriage because we're on the same page and they don't detract from the time we spend together.
If your relationship is as good as you say, it will be enhanced by you developing your own interests as well as doing the things you do together.
>>
You sound very sweet.
You do need your own identity outside if her. Have you considered gratitude to her/her family for helping you has induced feelings of dependence? Like another anon said, really work on yourself. Find your passion and your own hobbies and interests. Work towards a promotion or a new job. Update your resume. Learn a basic conversation in a new language. You must be your own person in order to not cling to her.
Thread posts: 16
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2