My entire family expects me to have children, but at 26, my "biological

>>18001670
>Right now I'm building on what seems to be a promising career, and my husband and I are very happy at the moment. I feel like having kids would ruin everything, but at the same time, I'm being ostracized by everyone else in my life for putting it off this long.

You're 26 but you have the mentality of a 16 year old girl.

Have the fucking kids and stop being selfish. People like you are exactly what's wrong with western society right now.

Or you could whore for more attention on the internet, put your 'career' ahead of raising a family, and be a selfish bitch who will be resented by everyone you know.

>>18001693
LOL don't listen to this idiot.

DO NOT HAVE KIDS IF YOU DON'T WANT THEM.
You won't despise them, but there is a greater chance of getting postpartum depression. There are enough human beings in this world. No oneed.

>>18001693
spotted the bitter /r9k/

>>18001693
It honestly sounds like you have a bigger problem then OP. Calm down anon. And maybe its time you learned that women can also have a career.

>>18001696
>>18001702

>respond with butthurt bitter posts
>spotted the bitter r9k

lol

File: 6c9.jpg (296KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

296KB, 1920x1080px

>>18001705
>And maybe its time you learned that women can also have a career.

>>18001706
>every1 who makes fun of me is the saem person cuz is anonymous

triggered /r9k/

>have a different opinion
>OMG R9K LOL BITTERHAHAA VIRGIN

Fucking hopeless this board

>>18001670
My father and mother had me when tgey were 46 and 43 respectively. I turned out pretty alright besides being a little on the lazy side, but i'm a spoiled youngest I guess. Its not to late to have kids yet, wait for now. If you have kids now and hate having them it will end up hurting them in some way. Your kids deserve loving parents so wait till your somewhat more ready for em.

>>18001693
Hmmm, can't tell if this is sarcasm, so I'll just play along. Thanks for the input either way though.

I agree with you that I am selfish in that I do not feel like sacrificing my free time that is used doing productive things like painting and shitposting on 4chinz toward raising a human being, however, a part of me does feel like a lot of people underestimate the negative impact procreating can have. I've personally watched 4 otherwise healthy and happy relationships fall apart after those couples decided to have a kid, and it scares me.

You are 100% correct in that my family will resent me if I don't have kids, though. So I'm caught between doing what I think is best and doing what my family thinks is best.

>>18001723
>My father and mother had me when tgey were 46 and 43 respectively. I turned out pretty alright besides being a little on the lazy side

There's a 50% chance you have downs. That percentage rises to 99% because of the quality of your post.

OP, this is why you don't wait until 30+ to bear children.

>>18001722
triggered virgin spotted

>>18001706
>>18001711
Lol fuck, you're a really huge faggot.

>people insulted my faggotry
>that means they're just mad XDD!!

lol

>>18001705
>>18001723

This makes me feel a bit better. I come from a very small, southern town where everyone has kids at such a young age, which is why I feel so pressured. I think that I'd be better prepared mentally in my 30s, at least.

>>18001724
>feel like sacrificing my free time that is used doing productive things like painting and shitposting on 4chinz toward raising a human being

You think raising a human being is less productive than painting.

>what my family thinks is best

Keep in mind that your family (hopefully) genuinely loves you and probably know you better than you know yourself.


Have the fucking children.

>>18001728
Ahahhahh, thabks mate. Im just typing on my phone and its late at night here so im terrible at it.
But seriously, dont rush with having kids, otherwise you might get a situation like one i know where a mother told 3 out of her 4 children i wish she hadnt had them so she had had a life for herself (she had her first kid at 20). And that sucks for the kids who deserve it least of all, they cant help they were born.

>>18001735
>You think raising a human being is less productive than painting.

Be honest, it is.

>hurr another chink shat out baby #19209120392130120930128321803 so much more beneficial to the world than a painting

Traditionalists are retards. Hairless apes aren't worth saving. Enjoy being alone.

>>18001743
Whoops i fucked my grammer big time here, i meant to say that woman told 3 of her kids she wished she had never had them.

>>18001747
See a therapist. Jesus christ what did your parents do to you when you were a child?

>>18001760
>can't refute argument
>resort to personal attacks

The traditionalist when cornered!

How's living a meme working out for you?

>>18001768
Get help.

First of all you shouldn't take a decision based that pressure. Your parents want grandchildren? Well too bad, we don't always get what we want. And you shouldn't dedicate your life to pleasing your parents, you should follow your own dreams, ambitions and desires. Create happiness for yourself first and then for others.

That being said you should be aware that you might regret not having children if you wait too long. Right now you're in the most active stage of your life, you have a lot of shit going around. But when you'll be 40 your life will most likely be a lot less hectic. Will you have any goals? Any ambitions? What about when you're 50? Well, when you run out of goals and dreams family becomes paramount.

See, as you start to realize your mortality you will want to leave a legacy behind. Some people leave behind great inventions, or works of art, or social movements and they die happy knowing it. But most of us can't do that. So we turn to that one thing biology gave us: the possibility of creating offsprings. They are the perfect legacy. They are the reason why we want to leave behind a legacy. But by the time you realize that it might be too late. There's a reason why you see so many successful women in their 40s desperate to get a child.

So yeah, take that into consideration before making your choice. Don't rush it, you still have some years before you become old, dry and unfruitful, but don't let time decide for you either.

>>18001780
>hurrr durr traditionalist
>this is something i don't want to hear lalala i'm strong independent and don't need children i'd rather paint pictures

Your advice falls on deaf ears. This is the standard american woman, there is no hope.

>>18001670
I would highly recommend you poking around the reddit

r/childfree

please do not have children unless you yourself 110% want them and are willing to shoulder and experience any consequences which may arise from having children..

e.g. they are born with a disability
possible loss of career
no guarantee of shared parenting labour especially those who push you towards it
you might not "bond with the child" at birth
post natal depression
exponentially rising costs of childcare
loss of sex life
loss of identity (purely framed as just a mother and a nurturer)
loss of personal time and freedoms

etc.

please think about it wisely

the world does not need more people

>>18001780
This was, I think, the most helpful advice so far. Thank you.

>>18001783
Relax, man.

>>18001786
>I would highly recommend you poking around reddit

W H E W

H

E

W

>>18001783
Well, uncle /pol/, if painting offers her a deep satisfaction, if she can honestly introspect herself and say that she'd be content with painting for her rest of her life, with painting as her legacy then she should go for it. We're not in a point where dying out because of low birth rate is a threat, so having children should be done only when you have a reason and purpose for it. Otherwise you may be a shitty parent and create an offspring that drags society down.

And I can assure you advice doesn't fall on deaf ears here. Oh, people might not apply it, but they acknowledge and remember it. Only if it's respectful and explicit though. If I learned something being a tripfag on this board is that people will never listen with you if they feel insulted by what you're saying. They also need to understand how and why your advice would work.

I do agree that people would be happier if they had children. But trying to make people have children by insulting them, like that first reply did will only achieve the opposite. You want more women to have kids? Good, explain to them how having children will help them, don't call them immature and tell them they're selfish cunts.


Oh yeah, OP, I forgot to mention, those maternal instincts you're thinking about usually kick in when you're pregnant. That's when women start to love and desire babies. That's when they start to get cute. Well yours will be cute to you, at least.

You're only 26. That's still pretty young. Maybe in a few years you'll feel differently.

Perhaps look into the ways pregnancy and childbirth literally reconfigure the brain. From how contractions, breast feeding, and eye gazing lay down a powerful oxytocin-driven bond between mother and her child, to how the cries of a woman's own baby elicite completely different neural responses than a cry of someone else's child. It's truely fascinating and amazing stuff. There is almost nothing out there more powerful than the instinctual love a mother has for her children.

I too am admittedly scared and apprehensive when I think about one day having children, but I don't believe you need to be 110% sure and ready. If everyone did that, none of us would be here and society wouldn't exist. I remember taking to this old man at church who was wanting his son to have children, and he told me "The truth is you'll never really be ready for kids. There is no perfect time." And that really stuck with me.

>>18001844
>Well, uncle /pol/, if painting offers her a deep satisfaction, if she can honestly introspect herself and say that she'd be content with painting for her rest of her

Let's be real she's playing Justin Bieber while chugging wine and snapchatting her friends really shitty stick figures she learned how to do in a drunk finger painting happy hour

>>18001845
>You're only 26. That's still pretty young
>35 is still young
>45 is still young
>60 is the been 20

Delete this please

>>18001858
I don't think 35 is pretty young though. 25 to about 30 is usually a pretty safe age, physically and financially, to have children. Maybe OP just needs a few more years.

>>18001670
This one is easy. Just BANG HER BRAINS OUT and don't get feelings for her