Pic unrelated. How do you know you when you should break up

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Heheheh, this is funny because I went through the exact same thing. I was 21, my ex was 19. I was and still am depressed and I was reflecting it on her in a very bad way. I was very dependent on her, didn't see any meaning in life except for her. I had no ambitions, I did nothing valuable, I was procastrinating a lot. In the end, we broke up because of my flaws. But I deserved it. It helped me wake up, made me realize how much I fucked up. Made me regret not being a better boyfriend to someone who deserved it. I think your boyfriend needs to wake the fuck up. Dump him. He won't get any better otherwise.

From my point of view, try to help him as much as you can, search for further help for him to overcome why hes depressed. Depression can also come because of the realization in his view of life. Breaking up might have further consequences on him

>>18001654
i'm 25 and my bf is 29; your situation sounds really similar to what the beginning of my relationship was like. he had depression, anxiety, and was very negative and angry at the world. (and just to clarify, no, he has never been abusive. just complained a whole lot about how everything sucks.)

except he was never from money, so he had more of a motivation to get off his butt i guess. it took a while, but after some love and support, he realized in order to make our relationship work, he needed to work harder and try to make our future together happen.

let me tell you, it wasn't easy. it took a whole lot of patience and being positive and encouraging... finally started to rub off on him and he started seeing the silver lining of things. that is 1.5 years of progress... he has come a long way from since we started dating. but a lot of the credit goes to him for actually making the difference. there were some days i just wanted to quit the relationship because it was so exhausting, but i'm glad i stuck it out because we're so much closer and i get to see him blossom into the man who is basically my dream boyfriend. he'd do anything to make me happy, actually keeps his promises, and always tells me how much he loves and values me being in his life. he's a much more happier and healthy person today.

if you aren't up to the task, then maybe you should see other people.... it's not for everyone. sometimes i felt like i was crazy/desperate for putting up with this; i'm not unattractive and i've had other options and i'm in my mid 20s after all. but i had faith in him and i'm so glad i believed in his change. no matter what decision you make, just remember it's an experience to learn from. personally, i learned a lot about love; being grateful, patient, appreciating the little things and how to make the best of situations. i am completely humbled by our experience and i think i actually came out more emotionally mature in the end.

>>18001654
>How do you know you when you should break up with your boyfriend if there's still love in the relationship?

You don't. Stop being a bitch and learn to appreciate your man.

Western women are so fucking entitled holy shit. Grow the fuck up.

>>18001668
Yeah, same, except I was like your ex. He got better after we broke up. Me being forgiving and patient made him feel like he could get away with this shit.

I caution most people about these situations. It's not healthy to be someone else's therapist. And these people are hardly ever any good at reciprocating all the effort we put into them.

The expectations I had for myself were so much higher than my dirt bottom expectations for my ex.

>>18001877
>i get to see him blossom into the man who is basically my dream boyfriend. he'd do anything to make me happy, actually keeps his promises, and always tells me how much he loves and values me being in his life. he's a much more happier and healthy person today.
Damn am I bitter. I don't believe you. I see in you who I was 1.5 years into my relationship with my ex. I lasted a total of 3 years until I cracked.

>>18001877
>i get to see him blossom into the man who is basically my dream boyfriend

That is really nice to read, congratulations. Are you all thinking of marriage any time soon?

>>18001880
Back to /r9k/ with you. Probably a fucking woman beating sand nigger. Grow a pair.

As if you would be with some worthless bitch that had no ambitions to do anything.

That's really a decision only you could make but I would say don't let pity factor into that decision. The biggest question you need to ask yourself is, are you happy or just content? I think you know what you need to do depending on the answer.

>>18002066
sorry to hear it didn't work out for you, i definitely believe it wholly depends on the person. my boyfriend genuinely wanted to make change, i think that was the biggest difference.

for an example of his level of commitment and ambition; i don't smoke or do any drugs, but my boyfriend loves his weed. i really don't mind when he smokes, but without me mentioning or complaining, he's already decided to cut down his weed consumption "in case it will bother me in the future." like the guy takes several steps ahead of whatever might happen that will cause friction between us, and he's happy to do it. of course i tell him it's not necessary (if anything, i don't want to restrict his freedom too much), but i also applaud him for being so damn considerate. he just really is the sweetest guy.

>>18002179
thank you, and yes... it's his idea actually! currently he's trying to sort out his debt (which got massively accumulated when he was depressed...) and i have just started working after graduating so i have my own debt to sort. so we're taking things slowly.

i had never imagined myself to get married (my own parents are divorced so i never really felt inclined to get married), so i don't feel we need to rush. i'm just happy we're happy and that we're working towards something together.

>>18001654
First of all, have you talked to your bf about this? Go to him instead of the internet. Just listening to your thoughts might give him the motivation to sack up. Of course, rich people are not really very motivated. Spoiled children become spoiled adults. He's likely never had to learn work ethic or responsibility. People who have always had everything handed to them, or have an easy way out, usually have very little motivation to try.

Semi-related, I was with a girl for six years and she a myriad of mental illness, extreme apathy and lethargy. It was an incredibly toxic relationship, and I gave her far too many chances to change. I tried helping her, going to counseling with her, nothing worked. She's doing better than ever now that we're broken up.