so this just happened >gf of 1 year >do love each other

at least she's being honest with you, that's a pretty bold move on her part and shows she's invested in you

>>17999188
>that's a pretty bold move on her part and shows she's invested

You have to be fucking trolling
You just have to

Why would you feel disrespected if she's being honest with you? She's trying to make shit work out too the best she knows how it sounds like and you're getting pissed because you don't like her honesty. Sounds like she cares deeply for you and trusts you enough to be so nakedly honest.

Well, there's making fuck and then making love.

>>17999195
feel disrespected because i feel im more willing to make this work. ofc i appreciate her honesty. but comparing the two, how does sleeping with someone benefit or improve our relationship? for me, even the thought of being intimate with someone else makes me feel ill.
also, now that shes said its a coping mechanism, how am i meant to deal with future problems (if we stay together). am i to continue being paranoid if shes sleeping around so she can cope?

>>17999208
She's not you. She's not going to go about the same way you are. Yeah sleeping with someone else wouldn't benefit or improve your relationship. Staying together and working yalls shot out together would help improve your relationship. And in the future, your being paranoid about her sleeping around to cope isn't her fault. That's on you to manage your own paranoia just like she needs to work on finding better coping skills.

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>>17999188
It's like some bot strung together a bunch of buzzwords and phrases from an advice article.

>>17999186
It's over.

lol, fucking as a coping mechanism? Don't buy into this bullshit OP, you are in the right in this one. If she's so horny that she can't control herself for a while, not even for you, is that even worth to stick around then?

Don't listen to people who say she's just ''telling the truth''. Maybe it's good she told you because now you see how she really thinks.
By the way, she was the one suggesting the break up, right? So she might as well already thought of being with other guys.

In my opinion I would have ditched her already.

>>17999186
If you're so offended by a hypothetical situation your girlfriend owned up to as a likelihood of pretending to not be in a relationship in order to "help your relationship", then yeah, you should just break up. You obviously aren't mature enough for a relationship.

>>17999829
This.
Move on OP.

Self control isn't some bizarre miracle that only graces the likes of a select few.
If this woman doesnt have any and is "scared" break up with her and try dating an adult next time.

>>17999186
It means she's got her eye on a guy she's been wanting to fuck for a while and this is her ecuse to get a quick bit of fucking before returning to the safety of your relationship.

Dump her OP.

>>17999833
/Thread

>>17999186
Yes. You should end it.

Lol sounds like she's trying to end it but make it your fault. Just end it, you'll be happier for it and she'll just go on being a sloot.

>Prisoner: Hey, if you let me out I might go around killing people
>Warden: Well at least you're being honest. We'll figure things out when you come back.

Leave her. If she isn't willing to spend a little time without taking dick to help clear up the relationship, then it's already a lost cause. Don't let this other guy turn you into a cuck. Have some self-respect. Who's to say she hasn't just been using you to "cope".

>>17999831
Don't forget to change the sheets for ronnie

>>17999186
here's what she was hoping for:
>her: we should break up
>you: no dont do this to me I'll work on myself and fix things I love you dont leave me

here's what she got:
>her: we need to break up
>you: sure, just dont sleep around
>her: I will

she doesnt want to break up, it was a blackmail

1 year. Ok. First off, I'm not the kind of person to fuck with shit like trial separation. I'm more tear that plaster off quick and enjoy the feeling of pinwheeling across the abyss, but in your shoes I'd imagine something like this.

>Hey we are constantly fighting about petty things and I feel it is difficult to gain perspective without introducing some distance. Everything at the moment feels like a continuation of a previous disagreement and that colours the interactions we have to the point where I can't tell if we even have genuine issues or if it really is just petty. So I'm suggesting a trial separation, but not because I want to break up with you, I want to make this work. I'm not looking to sleep around or find anybody else and my expectation if you want to do this is that you feel the same way. I'm viewing this as an opportunity to think about us, think about what that means and to develop some genuine feelings which aren't coloured by petty biased thinking. I'm not looking for anybody else or bringing anybody else into this, it is entirely about us. If you are down with that then we can talk about it and what it means, maybe it isn't even necessary if it opens dialogue, but if you are not down with it you should tell me. If you want to pretend to be down with it, but see this as an opportunity to involve other people or seek out other relationships you might as well say because the outcome will be the same, the trial separation might as well be a permanent one. I feel that we should understand that we want to be with one another rather than feel obligated to control each other into being with each other due to petty obligation and expectations.

But this is mucky, this is a fix not a solution. The problem is basically it sounds like you are both using your expectations around relationships to win points against each other which sucks and is unhealthy. Like you said something serious, her reply was "maybe I'll sex it up with others". Classic control.

Just drop her

update

broke up with her. she just kinda accepted it. is unwilling to work on things as i suggested.
and after what she said i just dont think i can come back from that. if we did stay together and had future arguments, what she said will always come to mind, that she might do something with someone else to 'cope' with things. oh well. thanks to everyone who replied.

>>18000079
Nice one, bro. You have handled this maturely

>>18000079
Good luck anon. I broke up with my last girlfriend because we were arguing all the time and while nearly all was only minor details, it added up to where I started thinking this person doesn't actually want to be in a relationship, isn't very mature or understanding and maybe while this is what a relationship means to them, it isn't for me or what I want in life. Like I'd try to do something genuinely nice to break the cycle and I'd get accused to trying to hurt her by conspiring to make her feel guilty for being angry at me when I was trying to be nice. Her default response to everything was to attempt to blame others.

Also be warned because when we sat down and I said what would need to change for us to stay together and she said she wasn't willing to address any of it and I said then we better get on with breaking up she accepted it, nodded, thanked me and said that was a great weight off her shoulders. A week later she was screaming and crying at me, trying to punch me, begging me to fuck her again and generally had a complete break down. I'm guessing because she'd spent quite a while building up this huge life based on careful logic and manipulation and control where it was all understood and suddenly there was nothing to show for it.

>>17999833
Saved.

She fucked someone else already. Probably been going on for a month now.

end it.

dodged a bullet.

>>18000079
You did well, OP. Make sure you don't ever message her if you start to feel lonely or you'll get back in that circle, but from your decision you seem smart enough not to.

>>17999186
She's a slut. Also, the OP pic is retarded. Everyone ages. Aging, and growing up is part of our biology. Cutting off your penis is not. Even after surgery, and hormones, you still have your male DNA.

>>18000079
Good. Odds are, she was eyeballing someone to sleep with, and wanted to breakup so she didn't feel like a complete slut

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>>17999186
Can I have her number, anon? It sounds like you breaking up with her was very traumatic for her. I'd like to help her cope.

>>17999829
fucking exactly. she suggested the break up knowing she'd be all over new dick by this evening. SHe knows who by the way and why you guys are having problems. You are in the way