I'm black. My gf is white. I've dated women of all

>>17997633
You can't change her, and you can make her choose something she doesn't want or isn't mentally prepared for.

My suggestion would be if you truly care for her and think it could work then go for it but keep expectations realistic or better yet have no expectations and let her figure it out.

At some point she will either come to terms with how things will always be and she will learn to deal/live with them or she won't be able to deal and you both will eventually move on to other things.

>>17997633
Just don't fulfill any negative stereotypes and it'll work out.

>>17997633

Ask /pol/

>>17997633
I think if you really see yourself being together with her for a long time and she does too, she may just have as you said, develop a thicker skin.

I think you guys should deal with each person and how they treat you on a case by case basis. If its pretty outspoken racism and continuous then I'm not really sure why you'd want to be friends with them anyways. With her family that's obviously a much different story. It's her responsibility to set limits with her family on how they treat you/your relationship.

Yes, if she's in love with you, she should have no qualms with telling others off. You clearly have your shit together since your a graduate student so she shouldn't have any issues with your relationship other than the implications of interracial dating that her circle might have.

I think it would be good to give her space to figure out her feelings, but do ask her not to leave you in the dark when she really doubts whether she can continue her relationship with you.

As I've never been in a situation or in a (direct) culture where racism or skincolor is an issue in a relationship, the only other thing I could think of to advise you is to keep showing her relatives and friends you're a decent and "normal" guy (because you sure sound like one). I guess in a shortsighted case like racism, that's the only way to go.

in the end it's her problem, that she needs to cope with. And it's up to her how she wants it done. This could mean cutting ties, telling her parents to either accept her choice or never see their grandkids, show their relatives how bad their behaviour is etc.

The role you can play is: support her with finding out what she wants and support her with her decision and play the role she wants you to play in it. Other than that, you stay outside and don't get directly involved.

>>17997652
>>17997658
>>17997659
>>17997667
>>17997668
Appreciate the feedback.

So basically my role is to say "Yes. This often comes with the territory of this kind of relationship," let her know what it potentially means moving forward and that she wouldn't be alone in it, and let her decide?

>>17997633
You should meet those loved ones of her and convince them that you are a good guy. When they see you in person and can tell you aren't a trashbag, they will feel bad for making her feel bad for dating a black guy. Fuck her male friends though. It's a typical response from small people who feel threatened so they lash out with whatever makes them feel superior and good again. Like race.
Just try to convince the people that are most important to her, so they get comfortable with you and stop weighing down on her.

>>17997633
Sup nigger

Just kidding. Really though, I have a cousin who's dating a black guy now. It's the first time she ever has. Our entire family is generally pretty conservative in the religious sense but we kind of keep with the times. I'm not religious though personally and neither is she.

Anyway, that aside, here's what happened with my cousin...
>her father disowned her
>mother threatened to disown her
>mother also tried to get it into her head that "he's a bad kid" because she works at the school we all went to and "knows this stuff"

Really the only thing she had against him was his father who was a fucking bum, but he doesn't keep in touch with him anymore. Every time I've talked to him, he's been more than polite enough for me. I imagine you've dealt with a lot of the same; having your girlfriends' parents disown them over this shit. The best advice I can offer you is not to crack. Don't give them any reason to dislike you except for your skin color, because when it comes down to her asking why they dislike you, that's all they're going to be able to say to her. "He's black". By then, she'll know who to choose.

When it comes to her friends though, yeah it's a bit biased I guess but every time it involves friends it's usually just ribbing unless they've said some horrible shit. You probably know this too though. I'd try to get to know her friends more and more.

>>17997633
>met in grad school
Grad student here, how did you score her :)
She entered grad school being single?

>>17997685
>>17997688
>convince them that you are a good guy
>Don't give them any reason to dislike you except for your skin color

Well that's the thing.

It's not so much about her friends or family not liking me because I'm black; it's about them giving her shit for being "a white girl dating a black guy." Like they're trying to convince her she's committing social suicide or something.

>>17997693
We were in the same major. Weren't close or anything, but got along. Have been out of school for a while and I reached out to her on FB one day to reconnect. Started seeing each other more regularly and it became a thing.

>>17997688
>her father disowned her
based af

To the OP, make her detached and totally separate from her friends and family. That way, you guys wont be victims of racism and her family wont be a victim of endless shame.

>>17997678

Yeah, but make sure you let her know you'd like to know if she's willing to invest in your relationship seriously despite all that (assuming that's what you'd like). I think anyone in your position deserves that.

Statistically, there is a very good chance that you will knock her up and leave. 7 out of 10 kids born of nigger fathers never even know who they are. Statistically, your interracial relationship will not survive,

You are a nigger, sir, and your current girlfriend is a whore that sees you purely as a taboo fetish to be paraded before her friends to prove how "progressive" she really is.

>>17997678
it's only a slight bit more difficult but you are on the right tracks, you have to know or find out, if she is able to make the decision on her own, or if she is a girl that avoids decisions, then you will have to lead the conversation with her or even make the decision for her.

>>17997633
You shouldn't be surprised.
Miscegenation has always been looked down upon in human societies, and even in our modern "oh so tolerant" world, mixed race couples are thankfully a minority.

Race traitors deserve death.

>>17997736
>Statistically, there is a very good chance that you will knock her up and leave

Is it really only the men who leave, or is it the white women who drive them away eventually?

It's funny how racists are so "red pilled" with race but are naive as fuck when it comes to women. White women are fucking over white men via divorce in record numbers but it's the black men who leave them behind? Jesus fuck use your brain

>>17997736
Go back to /pol/ dude

>>17997736
>>17997747
And here comes /pol/.

We were doing so well too.

>>17997747
>mixed race couples are thankfully a minority.

Monogomaous relationships maybe, But Arab-white harems are becoming a majority in the homeland of the whites ;)

>>17997736
/pol/ is calling

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SHHHHHEEEEEIIIIIIT

>>17997740
I hear ya.

Yeah, that's kind of why I made the thread I guess. I've comfortably relied upon knowing that I was with a decisive girl in the past when she had experience in interracial dating and chose to date me in the first place. Still learning whether or not my current gf is the type to manage all these conflicting messages or if I'll have to do it for her.

>>17997719
Yeah, the more accepting family members do that too but to a lesser extent. Like, we'll all crack a joke here and there, and even her boyfriend is aware of it. We don't really cross any lines toward racism or anything.

People take that sort of thing differently though. If she wasn't prepared then you're right, she probably does take it differently and it's hurting. So that's what it's coming down to. You need to make sure of some things.

>Are they joking?
>Do they have anything against you?
>Are they worried for her?

Here's why. If they're joking this can stop simply by her saying that it's really bothering her. They SHOULD stop. If they have anything against you which by now I'm guessing personally, they don't, then what I said above is reasonable. Meeting them or whatever.

If they're worried FOR her though, in regard to the social suicide thing, that's different. That's them thinking the world's going to turn on her because you're black. I think the best thing that can be done in this situation is wait. Get her through a few months normally. They think she's committing social suicide, so you both need to make sure things remain mostly normal, because when her family sees that nothing has gone wrong in a long time, that's an indication that nothing is wrong. Also, still, get to know them. They're probably not bad people based on what you're saying. My cousin's parents went batshit crazy but nobody else in our family gave a shit past just telling a joke or two.

>>17997757
Maybe in your cucold fantasies.
Mudslimes are burned in their "refugee" centers here where I live, with traditional molotov cocktail deliveries.

>>17997755
>>17997750
>muh /pol/ boogieman.

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as a white man whose been dating a black girl for a considerable amount of time who is also in his thirties I can safely say that your girl seeing the reality of the world through this relationship is a good thing.

The real world is surprisingly racist and without people willing to face it things will never get better. I would encourage her to foster tougher skin. I doubt she could go back now that she knows the paper truths of her families innate prejudices.

pic related.

>>17997726
>To the OP, make her detached and totally separate from her friends and family

OP this is the only way to go. You essentially will have the pressure of replacing her father's structure and support with your own masculinity. He disowned her, now you own her.

Power dynamics in Interracial relationships are x100 times more relevant whether you want to admit it or not. Non-white men have lower status than white men, so you have to compensate with money, dominance, resources, etc.

You think an American white woman would give a fuck if her daddy disowned her if she ran off with a dominant black guy who owns a financial empire? Nope, he probably touched her growing up anyways, white fathers are notorious for doing that shit.

Godspeed, but you literally need to bulldoze through the social pressure and racism. That's the only way things are going to work, ignore the pussified liberals who want you to talk things out and understand shit.

Dominate, control and advance.

>implying a nigger could make it to grad school

bait thread is obvious

>>17997778
Why would you doom your sons and daughters to be disgusting mudskin mongrels?

>>17997793
Protection against rapefugees.

Notice how Arabs only target white women in their rapes? They leave nonwhites the fuck alone in comparison.

If my daughter was living in Germany id absolutely want her to be a black than blonde and white at this point senpai

>>17997800
Can't' argue against that logic famalam.
Germans are already doomed people.
Native germans will be a minority in their own homeland within our lifetimes, and that nation will collapse to Yugoslavia tier ethnic strife in less than a 100 years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dF9V8POmuxg

I just hope that my people can avoid that fate.

>>17997769
This is solid advice. Haven't gotten to actually know her family yet, but will definitely bear it in mind moving forward.

>>17997785
Post pic of your grad school degree or gtfo

>>17997633
It's important that your family support who you date, simply because the grandparents are a number one source of information and support when you have young children.

I dated someone from outside my class, as a woman. My parents weren't Trump-tier, but we certainly had absolutely no problem with money, owned property etc. My first boyfriend was from a family where the dad was a trade worker and the mom had never finished highschool. I ended up leaving because he cheated, but I think we would have married if he hadn't been an idiot. My brother ended up marrying a black girl after my mom threw tantrums over it.
It weighs still on their relationship, stuff like "I hope she doesn't give the baby a black name", criticizing my sister in law's family. I have a lot of respect for my sis in law and how she deals with my mother, but she definitely is not from our environment and it shows. She and my brother seem happy together and for me that's enough, but for my mother, who is very bent on appearances, that doesn't work. So if I were you, I'd really check how her family is. If they are all keeping with the joneses, and that social status is very important, it's going to be even harder.

I would say, give her some time to weigh things. Sometimes people are the kind that says "fuck others", sometimes they can't take it in the long run. Just make sure that you aren't burning yourself out in this too.

However if I were you it's absolutely your right to correct people from her family if they are disrespectful to you or your background. Don't get mad but don't let shit slip by either. Just asking "really?" when someone makes a racist remark often cuts it short.

>>17997719
>she's committing social suicide or something.
unfortunately she is and she might forever been known as a coalburner

the question is, is it a bad thing? If you split up and some guy refuses to date her because she was with a black dude, you're extending some sort of post-relationship ward against her getting in a relationship with /pol/tards after you

>>17997778
Bro, is that you and your girl?

>>17997633
>>17997633
she's a disgusting piece of shit whore and done already.

go for it OP, she's done with her social circle already.

PLEASE DON'T MAKE MIXED CHILDREN
rather adopt some, but please don't bring more misery in this world
If you absolutely have to, move to the former colonies permanently.

I'm honestly disgusted.

>>17997840
This, usually I wouldn't ask for proof, but in this case it sounds like OP is full of shit and this is a b8 thread

>>17997757
>>17997757
keep that fuckinh smiley for yourself you filthy bastard

YOU THINK IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES OVER HERE??!

>>17997904

yesssssssir

>>17997633
Pls kill yourself. Back to Africa monkey

>>17997633
>Do I encourage her to develop a thicker skin or to draw a line in the sand between people who support the relationship and those who don't? Do I give her space to decide if this is something she can do?


First off, your concerns are undeniably valid. Second, you should definitely talk to her about this in depth and regularly as it is something that will take many hours of thought and discussion to overcome. Third, I do not recommend asking her to draw a line in the sand with her family.

Yes, it is shitty that her friends and family are turning out to be less perfect than she assumed. (It is a little scary she hasnt come to the realization of other faults in her parents and friends up till this point considering how old she is) I dont think it will be practical to ask her to definitively cut out people. I would recommend she starts to communicating to them how she feels. She could take it as attack on herself if you make an ultimatum. With time encourage her to wean off people who dont address her concerns and take them seriously.


honestly the worst thing would be if neither of you talked about it with one another and if you both individually dont bring it up with those who are toxic (yes from your side and hers, lead by example)

>>17997719
essentially she is. that's how they are. she has to decide whether it's worth it to give up being apart of the "perfect" race to love who she loves

>>17997656
Actually, this isn't as bad as it might seem. Sure, "nigger," is going to be thrown around a lot, but you'll have maybe one person who will give good advice on how to get on a racist's good side