What do you do if your girlfriend texts you something like this:

Does she mean like right this second, or on your way home from work?

>>17994261
On my way from work. But we don't live together and I have to take a longer route to her place. I mean it'd be okay if that was once or twice, but I feel like an errand boy doing this often.

Most likely a 100 percent practical and innocent request. But could be a test

Maybe she just wants to see you

"I'm really busy at work. You're at home, you can pick one up yourself, right babe? x"

>>17994258
If it happens all the time, just tell her you don't want to do it so often.
If it happens once in a while and it doesn't cause you too much trouble, do it.

My boyfriend worked near a shop I really like, it is 45 minutes away from where we live. Sometimes I would ask him to go buy some stuff for me. Sure, I could have gone there myself, but it would have been a 1:30 drive. He's there anyway, so, he does it for me. In the same way I go buy clothes for him because his favourite shop is 50 meters from my work place. It's just practical.

>>17994282
I surprise visited her yesterday bringing an expensive cake. And we'll meet up tomorrow evening too. She might want to see me and >>17994276 is probably right too, she just needs it. But I can't help but feel like an errand boy. Because she always asks me to do things for her, now don't get me wrong, I'm more than glad to help out, but I'm kind of ticked off when she asks to do things just because she's lazy to do those herself.

>>17994288
"Yeah, but can you pick it up on your way from work?" - We don't live together.

>>17994282
t cuck

If she wants to see you, she'll ask if you want to go out and eat, or sit in and watch a movie. OP doesn't need to waste his free time, his money, his gas getting her fucking material desires just so she can see him. You have little to now experience with women if you think this.

Op, this is a subtle power play. Women do many things different than men, and using this tactic comes naturally to them for some reason. It's something men never really think of, but you can use it too. Asking them to get a pencil off a desk for you, or run little errands, etc. It gets you so used to saying yes to them, you are more likely to say yes to bigger things, and eventually, would never think of saying no to bullshit little fuckboy, time wasting errands like this.

There is a book, "CIA tactics for manipulating women" that talks about this. Haven't finished it but the little I have applied to relationships it really does seem to work, and it talks about this exact shit. The more times you say yes to her, the more power you let her have.

I don't have good advice in this case. I'm kind of autistic about this particular issue.

I tend to be really sensitive to when I feel like people are taking my helpfulness for granted. Even little shit sets me off. For years, my younger sister would wait for me to get up to clear my plate from the dinner table and ask me to take hers with me. I only caught on to it as I got older and would even run experiments to see how long she would wait rather than simply getting off her ass. One day she asked and I just flatly told her "No. Take your own plate." It turned in to this huge fight with my whole family telling me how I was "such an asshole" and me defending myself for not wanting to be treated like some easily manipulated patsy.

And I do the same thing with girlfriends. Probably why I'm still single. I have NO problem doing favors for people, I just draw a line when it becomes clear to me that they're abusing the privilege and seeking my assistance not because they're unable or need help, but because they continually simply don't feel like doing shit themselves. It's not the best thing to do if you simply want to stay in a relationship, but I'd honestly rather be single than be with someone that I feel like I have to placate and bend over backwards to meet their every whim and fancy.

tl;dr I'd tell her (politely) to get off her ass. Just know that most women won't stand for that because they can fairly easily find someone who is more than willing to do this kind of stuff for them for the simple sake of having a gf.

>>17994294
>she just needs it
Okay, either A: you just called your gf ugly or B: you don't understand the difference between a "want" and a "need", so clearly are not mature enough to handle yourself in a fucking adult relationship, which is probably why she has you running all over the place like an idiot.

I have never in my life heard another man say anything about his gf "needing" some makeup. I've always heard them responsibly use the word "want".

>>17994258
Bullshit, grills don't ask guys to pick up make up for them ever

>>17994299
Believe it or not, im here to learn. How much of this type of thing (errands) makes you cucked? Is it ok to do this at all? Serious question.

>Because I did get cucked very recently and want to up my power so it doesnt happen again.

>>17994307
It's B. I'm not a native English speaker and didn't realize I was making a mistake, thanks for pointing that out. And you don't have to be so aggressive about it, I don't try to hurt anyone's feelings here, just seeking advice.

>>17994310
She probably knows the brand and everything, just wants me to buy it for her.

Buy it
Go over to her house
Fuck her right in the pussy

If I was planning on seeing her after work, I wouldn't mind the pitstop, but if I had other plans I'd tell her not tonight.

why are you guys even having trouble with this?

Only do it if she does the same for you.

I wish my wife would wear eyeliner and eye makeup at all. She hates wearing it but eyeliner is just so hot. Oh well.

>>17994258
Say. "You're at home free all day, I'm at work. Maybe you can just go get it yourself"

Do you have communication problems in the relationship? Not to make any sort of rude inference, just a feeling I get.

>>17994373
>"Say this standoffish aggressive bullshit"

Have you ever dated anyone? He'd be a lot better off saying "I'd love to but I'm just so tired after a loong day at work :(" and then he could get out of it AND get some tlc for his big boy stressful day if she's even a half decent girl

>>17994374
>>17994374
>"I'd love to but I'm just so tired after a loong day at work

This passive aggressive bullshit isn't any better. Some times people need to be called on their shit and you need to be disrespectful to get respect.

>>17994258
>Also I kind of spoiled her buying cosmetics and chothes and gifts, always paying for everything.
She's fucking someone else.
Sorry, bro.

>>17994304

damn, you're me. You need to set boundaries with people way earlier, otherwise they get used to you being beta and when you finally assert yourself - it leads to unnecessary fight.

Also take it easy on yourself for being single, your autism plus physical attractiveness play huge role in it, not you being assertive

>>17994388
>you need to set boundaries with people way earlier, otherwise they get used to you being beta and when you finally assert yourself - it leads to unnecessary fight.

I know it. Took years to learn that this was the problem and still not totally sure how to put it into practice, but it's definitely the issue and I'm aware of it.

How do you do it? I think I just have the bad habit of being "too nice" in the getting to know you stages of relationships to get people to like me.

>>17994258
>>>17994374
>>>17994374

> "you need to be disrespectful to get respect."

No argument for this. Sounds like youve made a religion out of being an ass. Do you have any real advice for setting boundries?

>>17994400
Sounds like you've made a religion out of being a doormat if you immediately equate being assertive with being an ass.

>>17994267
Do it and when you go to her place to drop her off fuck her

File: 1483383707180.gif (1020KB, 245x160px) Image search: [Google]

1020KB, 245x160px

>>17994405
Ok maybe youre right. But i dont want to be. Should you do anything like this for a woman? Should you always say no?

>>17994415
see >>17994332

>>17994415
See >>17994304 and >>17994388. Particularly this line:

>You need to set boundaries with people way earlier, otherwise they get used to you being beta and when you finally assert yourself - it leads to unnecessary fight.

It's hard to dig yourself out of the hole that is "people have come to expect that you roll over for whatever they say." When they get used to getting what they want from you, any refusal on your part is particularly upsetting to them because it's surprising. You're confounding a well established expectation and there's a sort of "how dare you stand up for yourself!" element to it.

You need to be gradual in recalibrating her expectations rather than make some big show of telling her no. >>17994332 is fine. And in general follow the advice of >>17994388.

Ok im seeing that this is a major problem in my life

>>17994440

OP seems to be on a different level than us.

> She's sitting at home free all day and I'm at work. She can go get it herself perfectly. This happens a lot. What should I say to her? Also I kind of spoiled her buying cosmetics and chothes and gifts, always paying for everything.

you don't need to buy your girlfriend gifts more often than maybe 5 times a year. She gives you something for your birthdays, you give her something for her birthdays of similar monetary/time investment value

>>17994258
Counter text her op, ask her if she can you get something and if it's a no then fuck that selfish bitch

"Im at work. Why cant you go?"