Tinder: she's 18, I'm 24. She wants to go on a date.

>>17992055
not super creepy. the age difference wouldn't even be an issue if she was 28 and you were 34.

>>17992060
But they're not. People change A LOT between their late teens and early 20s.

>>17992060
Well, it would be a major issue if I were 18 and she was 12, so that's not really how it works though, is it?

That said, I'm probably pretty immature for my age, so that's something I guess?

>>17992078
So what is your input then?

And the problem is.... ?

I'm 29, going out tomorrow with a 22, and have another who's 19 on the line

Fug dat

>>17992078
Who gives a shit nigger, you are seriously so overthinking it, it makes you sound like an idiot. It wouldn't fucking matter what age she was as long as you get along. That's the foundation. You are just so neurotic about this it's making you illogical and dogmatic.

>>17992078
that's why I said it isn't SUPER creepy. It's a little creepy. but in 10 years it won't be creepy at all, so OP needs to figure out if he's comfortable with the level of creepy that it is for the few years that it is, assuming it has any traction at all.

>>17992094
>So what is your input then?
If you're looking for a relationship, it's not going to last. Her comparative immaturity will get to you

>>17992055
It's not creepy at all, and if you think it is, you're a tool to powers you don't even understand, pleb.

>>17992106
Because everyone is exactly equal and the same in every fucking way right?

No. The age is irrelevant as long as they get along. It's that simple. This dogmatic bullshit about specific ages is too much literal dogshit because everyone is different, so it's impossible to judge without experiencing what the person is like first.

I've personally seen incredible age differences last in marriage for life, and people apparently identical in every way fail miserably due to incompatibility.

>>17992099
So don't you ever feel like you're on a completely different planet from them?

I know I wouldn't be able to stand 18-yo me, for example.

At 27 I don't know that I could relate to a 21 year old.

>>17992120
>>17992129

That's ridiculous. Usually the younger someone is, the less experiences they are, and the more basic their reasoning is, the easier it is to understand their compulsions and motivations, not harder.

If you find it harder to relate to someone younger, maybe you're the one who's immature or developmentally stunted. Dating younger partners is awesome.

>>17992120
I do lol

I even made a thread a few days ago asking for advice on how to make the age gap feel smaller.

If it's just for making out it's perfectly fine, I don't see any issues at all. You'll only really feel it in a relationship though, but it's not really an age thing I think. As long as the two click, age doesn't matter (as long as it's legal ofc)

>>17992055
I'm 26 and is dating an undergrad (18), and most of her friends think I'm just some third year she picked up at a party. It's not really noticeable.
>Anything in particular to be aware of
I assume you have a job, I'm a postdoc in harmonic analysis, and she thinks I'm some sort of rocket scientist, so I guess she will exaggerate what you do in her mind.
If she expects you to go to late night party, don't. There will be a lot of schedule mismatch, too.

>>17992120
I haven't really changed much since then, but I had to grow up early. I have a better education now, so I am better at formulating my ideas and arguments, but I'm basically the same person.

>>17992139
Actually if you find it easy to relate to someone younger, you are unequivocally immature and developmentally stunted, both mentally and emotionally.

It's a very deep-seated and serious issue. You find younger partners appealing because you're not up to speed with your peers. You're behind.

>>17992150
>I assume you have a job
Well akshually...
I'm finishing school this year. As I said, I'm pretty immature myself.

>>17992162
Additionally, apart from the fact that it is embarrassing, this is why you don't typically see people in their mid 20s dating 18-19 year olds. The exceptions of course are in low income areas where the demographics consist of poorly educated people.

>>17992162
No, you're objectively incorrect. And it's a laughable rationalization for your internalized deficits.

It's objective fact that it's easier to relate to someone less mature. You could never relate to someone like me on my level and would always be limited by your perceptions in judging my compulsions, much like you've just demonstrated.

>>17992167
Well that's just plain old stinking bullshit, fool.

The stigma comes from parents not wanting their babies growing up to be cowboys and all that bullshit. It has nothing to do with consenting adults interrelating, and the fact that you plebs operate on that level tells me you're some dumb kids

>>17992139
That makes no sense. You're immature if you can't relate to someone less mature than you? How is that even logically possible?

>>17992173
Correct, and I'm glad that you recognize that it's a personal issue on your part. Effectively, you prefer to relate to those younger than you because you're intimidated and unwilling to accept the challenge of trying to relate to your peers. You choose to date younger partners because you are mentally stunted in various ways.

Have you talked to a therapist about it?

>>17992178
Because the more mature you are, the more experience you have, and have been in those immature mindsets and can undersatnd the compulsions and motivations behind them.

>>17992179
Are you retarded or how is it like living in your mommy's basement without ever knowing anyone in real life?

>>17992186
No need to be prone to anger, although it's certainly consistent with your previous posts and you lacking emotional maturity.

My advice is to contact a professional. It certainly helps.

>>17992190
I'm pretty sure that nobody here is angry but you, and your passive aggressive idiocy is more than proof enough, child.

>>17992190
Damn dude, your panties are in such a fucking wad, I can see you spilling your spaghetti from way over here. Grow up.

>>17992193
No, I'm just trying to help you. All you're doing is hurling insults and trying to establish (false) superiority by stating those who prefer to date partners significantly younger than them (5-6 years) are in some way healthy minded individuals. It's total nonsense.

>>17992211
I'm not sorry to point out that you're position is frankly completely absurd and you are delusional if you think it's reasonable. Honestly just sounds like your dogmatic bullshit got BTFO and you're too immature to accept it.

>>17992139
Don't you want someone who can challenge you and is on the same level as you are, not someone who's thoughts and motivations are more "basic" to you?

>>17992254
I think your fundamental problem here is that you, for some inconceivable reason, seem to believe that everyone is some identical automaton that develops in the same way, in every way, and only compatibly aged systems can interface effectively.

I don't believe I really need to get pedantic to make clear how unreasonable and untrue that idea is.

My fundamental point is that age is largely irrelevant when what is at issue is the interactions between the individuals, not their height, or hair color, or age, or state of insurance coverage. But then asshat up the thread starts with the dogmatic bullshit of "if you're X years different it just WILL NOT WORK", etc, and i just don't have the patience to argue with such complete idiocy. And idiocy it is.

>>17992254
If you believe challenge is such a good thing, then by default you can't be with peers, right? You would need to be with someone significantly more competent than you to be thus challenged in a reliable manner. They would need to be more intelligent than you and more experienced. And then, what are you to them? "basic"?

No, you need to get back to the foundation of what a relationship is, and understand that it's about people relating to each other in meaningful ways, not how many birthdays difference you have.

>>17992273
Woah. As you pointed out yourself young people typically are less nuanced in their perception of things and how they look at (what they want out of life) compared to how they develop themselves later on. What struck me is that unlike most people who defend age gap relationships, you sort of proposed that it's a positive thing if you can see through your partner's mental processes because they are more "basic" than those of yourself.

That's all that was puzzling to me and that I asked about. I never claimed that relationships with an age gap cannot work out through some law of nature.

Although talking about that anyway, I do think it proposes an extra struggle, which is also backed up if you look at the stats of how much more often age gap couples split. That doesn't make it a certainty, but most people already have a lot of differences to overcome in understanding each other, growing up in a slightly different time and being in a slightly different place in life don't help with that in most cases I think, though no doubt it can work all the better in exceptions.

There's something in between thinking that age is "just a number" and that you're doomed if it doesn't fit some arbitrary standard.

http://nypost.com/2014/11/11/the-bigger-the-age-gap-the-shorter-the-marriage/

>>17992277
Nah, that doesn't follow from it at all the way I see it. You can be peers in many aspects but have individual strong points you can teach/learn from your partner. There's nothing odd with your partner lagging behind in an area you do well with, but the anon I quoted was talking about thought/decision making process etc in general. That's a pretty fucking important thing to me.

>>17992293
> You can be peers in many aspects but have individual strong points you can teach/learn from your partner. There's nothing odd with your partner lagging behind in an area you do well with

And it's exactly the case with peers of a different age.

Imagining that your peers are people of your exact age is some absurd elementary school bullshit, honestly. Really in truly. "Peers" are people in the same socioeconomic class than you, regardless of their age.

We're talking about adults here, not little babies. Everyone is different because nobody is equal. A few years is nothing.

>>17992293
It's silly to imagine that just because someone is the same age as you that you are their peer, or vice versa actually. That's some very flimsy generalization of an oversimplified world-view.

Your peers can be older or younger than you. Nobody thinks like that unless you're in high school or some shit. The world really doesn't work that way. We aren't divided into classes by age, but by competence, assets, and capabilities and education.

>>17992301
I don't know about that man, I'm twenty three now and I sure was a wildly different person when I was seventeen. I had different priorities, a different outlook on myself and what I'd done so far in life, I was a lot more insecure and fretting over stuff. And I was never the typical dumb teenager who is wrapped up in drama or partying. I got called mature for my age all the time, but it's like a different person looking back.

Sure development isn't linear and you can be on the same wavelength despite a difference in age. But if you're talking about the concept of relationships with a big gap you're talking about patterns.

Also yeah, if you're dating a girl who still wants to party despite you being over that but you can talk about your expectations of the relationship like adults that's fine. That's what I meant with lagging behind (or even just differing in case of this example) in a simple area.
But that's not comparable to feeling like their entire cognitive processes (he said their reasoning, their motivations, their compulsions) is unrefined/basic to you. Under those conditions I could not feel equal to that person whatsoever.

>>17992305
I don't see how something like assets is much more significant than age. I'm not trying to argue that you can directly and straightforwardly infer where someone is in their personal development by knowing their age. I'm just saying that there is a correlation between age and personal growth.

Say that you become a more or less independent person at thirteen, actively starting to develop your own identity not just among friends or your family but in your own right, as an individual in the world. Are you honestly saying that whether you spent five or fifteen years working on that is irrelevant and arbitrary for what you have in common with others?

As I said, there's a middle road between thinking that it's all neat categories that are the same for everyone and that age is meaningless. I'm arguing that it's not meaningless.

>>17992321
How is age any more meaningful when we're talking about adults? I get it that you can infer some information from someone based on their age, the same way you acknowledge (while obviously feeling it's someone absurd) that assets play that same role.

so again, in the context of two people seeking a relationship, how does age play any significant role in the equation, when both people are sane, competent, consenting adults?

There is nothing that's guaranteed based on age. Someone can be 12 years old and die of cancer, or be 90 years old and still fit.

It's just as absurd to judge someone on their assets alone, as it is to judge on age alone. I don't think anyone is saying it's completely meaningless, but as a foundation of judging the situation as OP presented, it's meaningless in light of the million other factors untouched by this thread.

You can't just judge a situation based on two people's ages with any degree of clarity, or reason. If you want to judge by age, that's fine, but it has to be in the context of everything else that matters, and most importantly it's how the two people interact on a personal level which is the entire foundation of the relationship, not their birthday.

>>17992315
> Under those conditions I could not feel equal to that person whatsoever.

Nobody is equal though, Literally everyone is different, with a different mind built up from a different brain based on different experiences.

This idea that equality is some ideal to reach for is frankly creepy as fuck. Orders of magnitude more creepy than two adults of *gasp* six years difference to date.

>>17992383
Well firstly I am specifically talking about adolescents, aka 15-late twenties at most. You don't develop at the same pace throughout your entire life once the formative years are done.

However, take the examples from OP, eighteen and twenty four. There is stuff that is perhaps not guaranteed but quite likely. I know in the US it is more common for people to live at home for prolonged time, but where I'm from an eighteen year old (from the highest education level) is about to graduate high school and has lived the family life at home so far even if she's relatively free spirit. A twenty four year old has lived on his own, paying rent, doing his own groceries, looking after himself when sick, picking himself up after coming home alone on a bad day, for five+ years. The girl has so far still been surrounded by the people she's simply in class with (or in school at most), the guy's chosen the rough direction he wants his education for the future to take, has made the first steps for networking or refining the path his education takes. It is also a lot more likely that the guy has had serious long term relationships than the girl.

She's eighteen, he can go on a date with her if she wants, I don't disagree with that. If they're not going to have a committed relationship then it hardly matters anyway.
But saying that age is not a real factor is weird to me living in a world where growing up is still very much organized/institutionalized. So yeah, you don't know every little detail of their personal development, but there's a lot of circumstances that likely play a role and will differ from the situation of someone who's older.

I don't see how judging a couple merely on their age is any different from judging them on the premise of anything else (like "it's too soon since her husband died" or "their personalities are just too different"). People are going to have opinions on others without being 100% in touch with everything that's going on, period.

>>17992430
Also as I mentioned in the other post, we are at the point where there's statistics that show that age gap relationships are more likely to end in divorce. Which seems logical to me because there's always a ton of differences to overcome between people and no matter how you look at it, it is a difference at the end of the day. A difference in terms of how long you've been an adult, a difference in terms of the time period you grew up in and what your expectations of love and life are. To give a very concrete example: it makes a difference for how you approach sex whether you've spent your teens fantasizing or have watched HQ hardcore anal pounding since you were twelve. And once again that doesn't -have- to be the case for a given individual. And even if it's the case for him it doesn't -have- to be an issue in the specific relationship. I'm just saying it's a factor that can pop up in numerous areas of life and can complicate things.

But I am not against people having relationships with a difference in age, as long as everyone consents. I just believe that saying age is just a number is wishful thinking.

>>17992416
Isn't the exact idea of equality that you are of equal worth despite not being the same?

Extreme example but a person having viewpoint A and the second viewpoint B arguing about where they're coming from and why they disagree with the other one's point are different but equal. If person 1 is arguing and driving the point home and person 2 is overwhelmed and starts crying/screaming/becomes unable to express why they disagree, they are different and (in that situation at least) not equal.
This can always happen, it can happen between two sixty year olds. But the chance that one party can't keep up and play at the same level is greater for a thirty year old with a sixteen year old than for two thirty year olds.

>>17992430
>>17992441
Judging someone is fine, as long as you can acknowledge that you're just guessing basically and that your opinion holds no real authority, and certainly not based on something as isolated as simply someone's age.

What I'm against is the dogmatic position that just because someone is X years too young or too old that it's all over, because that's frankly, completely fucking retarded.

There's no reason to tell OP not to go ahead. The very idea that anyone here can judge them based on the information given is frankly the most immature thing in this thread. He doesn't know anything about her, and nobdoy here knows anything about OP. This whole thread should never have been made, but it was, and instead of telling OP to get to know this girl, some asshat runs out and pretends they're a goddamned authority on age differences and 6 years is just too goddamn much, and that's just stupid. I know personally people over a decade in age difference married and old as fuck for decades. I also know of people who were in the same age and grade in school and got married and rekt their relationship within a year.

You simply can not judge based on age. That's some random bullshit like saying red cars go faster.

>>17992470
Personally I read OP's question not really as whether he was technically allowed to but more, how will people respond to it and is that worth it... which is usually something that worries people when considering it.

Now I know plenty of men who are married to younger woman and would still very much prefer their teen daughter to date someone her own age and not someone older. It could be cool, yeah. But if he wants to manipulate her, the average twenty four year old would have an easier time doing that than the average eighteen year old kid. More social experience, more credibility for having more life experience than she does.

>>17992055
half plus seven

/thread

Nobody ever thinks it's weird when they're in that situation, most people will fuck a human-like doll if nobody is watching.

Society will think it's weird, and it's society you'll have to answer to. Nobody who knows it occurred will ever forget and you will always be known as a borderline pedophile.

I once dated a 18 y-o when I was 27
No regrets. Sure, she was immature, but her body was fresh as hell compared to women of my age

>>17992099

I don't know man. I'm 30 and I just get the feeling that girls in their earlier or maybe even mid twenties would think I'm a creepster if I tried flirting with them.

I'm 29 and I'd take an 18 year out for some fun with no hesitation. Who gives a shit what other people think?

>>17992060
Yeah no big deal, of he was 18 she would be 12