WHY does my bf keep insisting that he loves me more than i love

>>17988197
Bump. Curious for the answer too

>>17988197
dump his ass

>>17988197

He's a guy. Guys are idiots, or he could have an inferiority complex, we tend to have those too. Fuck knows OP, halt him in his tracks then, stop saying that you love him, that'll convey the message.

>>17988197
>love you honey!
> love you more sweety!
>how fucking dare you think that you worthless piece of shit.

>>17988197
He cheated on you, hence the guilt

>>17988228
this

>>17988197
Because online magazine websites press men to tell women they love their girlfriends more, citing that men prefer physical intimacy while women prefer it to be conveyed through words.

>>17988228
it started as that. then i made a joke out of it because he kept oberboarding. then he also started to say it in a serious tone and tell me "you know it is true. i will always love you more than you can love me." wtf...

>>17988226
so, what can i do?

He is afraid of being cheated on and is setting up his excuse for if you do

>>17988248
break up with him since you need to go to 4chan it must really bothers you ;)

>>17988253
why does he need an excuse if she cheats,
more likely he cheated.

Stop saying I love you then. And just show it instead of saying it so often.

>>17988261
stop filling this girls head with bullshit.

>>17988264

I'd go with this approach OP.

>>17988230
This.

>>17988271
i tried that but he just takes it as proove that he loves me more. it's really annoying

>>17988197
"I love you more"
"well I love you so much that I concede that you love me more and agree that you love me more"
fight this nonsense with wit and logic. If it bugs you just fucking speak to your partner instead of asking 4chan for help.

>>17988266
OP sounds like the type a guy will cheat on.

>>17988261
>>17988275
meh, if he did i will find out one day anyways and if don't then why should i care. he would be the one having to live with the guilt.

>>17988281

Then date someone that is not in puberty

>>17988287
>having to live with the guilt
probably not much guilt, you sound annoying af

>>17988292
what sounds annoying?

>>17988283
>"well I love you so much that I concede that you love me more and agree that you love me more"
lol can a person say something like this without looking like they rehearsed it so many times in front of the mirror trying to get the upper hand in an autistic argument.

>>17988197
I love you, should not be said lightly, nor often. There is no way to attach any qualifiers to that statement. It is an absolute, hence there is no way of comparing two amounts of love to each other. By making such a comparison your bf is implying that he gives you more love than he receives from you. Are he saying you are inadequate? Argue this point to him.

>>17988305
wouldn't it be better to say "i love you so much i came to the conclusion that it would be the most loving thing to do to let you believe you love me more"?

>>17988308
i hope he is aware of the absolute nature of saying "i love you"... but it seems he isn't. what have i gotten myself into

Eh, my bf used to say that. I would respond with "maybe" or "probably" or something along those lines. He doesn't really say it any more.

>>17988325
>He doesn't really say it any more
How long has he been dead?

>>17988325

How long has he been sleeping with the fishes?

>>17988346
>>17988353
Not really getting the joke/reference here.

>>17988281
>girl is upset her boyfriend goes out of his way to prove/show his love
is this real life? is this what 2017 is? i'm out.

>>17989079
That's not really proving that you love someone, that's putting them down in a roundabout way.

He probably does in all honestly. You're already getting mad at him over dumb things, and will eventually lose interest and leave him or cheat on him if you are selfish.

>>17988248
Just concede. Whenever he brings it up, just shrug and either say nothing or something like, "Whatever helps you sleep at night." Don't engage him, don't let that conversation continue. Change the subject. He may be doing this because he feels you don't give him enough attention. If you look back and think that might be true, start showing him (not telling him) that you care.

>>17988197
He's right you know

>>17988197
women will never love at the same level a man loves.

Date someone who has maturity enough to not make a big deal or worse, a competition out of who loves who more.

>>17990626
This is what I have noticed time and time again. I don't understand it, but when a man loves a women it is just completely obvious she could never understand how much.

>>17990626
Can I ask, although it is 3rd person objective- How can you know that?

You can't even know how much another man loves his woman.

How do you know the minds of women?

Cheating happens at an even rate across both genders, for example. If you take cheating as a manifestation of falling out of love, it's even.

>>17990636
Women can get a new man almost immediately with the snap of their fingers if they so desire it..
In the other side, men are handle nothing in life, and every little thing they achieve is more valuable in a personal level. Getting a gf that you want, is not only rewarding but also feeds your pride and self-stem, it means that the person you care for considers you worthy enough to share their lives with.
I would argue that in situations where people would assume that "the girl loves him more than he loves her", the guy doesn't loves her at all, because if as a man you love someone, that makes you a better person and motivates you to improve for the good of both.

>>17990667
>Women can get a new man almost immediately with the snap of their fingers if they so desire it..
Does that mean that the love is any less or more?

Surely it's better if they've chosen you over the slavering many at their fingertips.

>as a man you love someone, that makes you a better person and motivates you to improve for the good of both.
That's true of women too, although not all. And it's not true of all men either. Basically that only occurs if you're a good partner in general.
>Getting a gf that you want, is not only rewarding but also feeds your pride and self-stem, it means that the person you care for considers you worthy enough to share their lives with.
That is also true of both men and women. The last part is basically what a relationship is, and it's not gendered.
>men are handle nothing in life
Aside from casual sex being easier, what are women handed? Finding a relationship that you actually want and with someone you respect is difficult, regardless of gender. Working becomes more difficult for women once you start having to choose between children and a job (due to the physicality of pregnancy).

Basically none of what you've said applies to men only, and your first point does not necessarily mean that it's any easier to find a good long term partner for you, just because thirsty men want you, doesn't mean you want to settle down with any of them.

>>17990697
Love is not something you can measure. Trying to prove or disprove that men love deeper than woman is impossible. It is merely what I can sense as a human being, and I cannot give you any scientific reason as to why. But scientific reasons are not needed to be correct about something, only to explain why you are correct to others.

>>17990724
So, you've had some bad experiences with someone or something?
Because I can equally say I believe men don't love women, only like owning them or having them. That has the same amount of evidence behind it as your claim.

>>17990724
Like this anon said (albeit to prove a point, not because they believe it)>>17990747,
I don't even believe men are capable of love.

>>17990697
I was mostly referring to relationship issues.
Women, as a general rule, have to do nothing to get in a relationship, just accept or reject men advancement, while men have to put themselves out there, many time over coming rejections and other downsides.
When you put effort into something, you appreciate that thing even more, as oppose to things being just handle to you.
I assume that in OP's circumstances, her bf had to at least put himself out there asking her out, planning dates and facing the possibility of rejection. He assumes that he loves her more because he actually put effort to get to that point in the relationship in the first place, while she just had to oblige to everything and enjoy the ride.

>>17990761
Women ask men out, and date planning is about both of you.

And yes, just like men, you still have to make yourself the kind of person you need to be to attract the men you want.

>>17990724
>Love is not something you can measure
>But scientific reasons are not needed to be correct about something, only to explain why you are correct to others
Thanks for stating your belief.

I believe that it is possible to measure love with a probability model but the result shouldn't be made known to the subjects of the measurement, rather it is just used to predict future actions. It's not even a hard problem to get a reasonable accuracy for this prediction.
There are a lot more difficult problems that sounds simpler.

>>17990770
that's why I said as a general rule. And I doubt OP's was the one that asked him out in the first place or else this wouldn't even be a concern to him.
>you still have to make yourself the kind of person you need to be to attract the men you want.
that's just bullshit and you know it, (as a woman) you could be the most uninteresting person in the world but as long as you are attractive (which literally takes no effort, unless you consider basic hygiene to be an outstanding achievement) men would approach you left and right. Women aren't really selective either, the "men you want" is just someone that 1. you consider physically attractive and 2. has an interest of you. There's literally nothing else to it.

>>17990811
It's not bullshit. Sure, some men will come to you. But if you want someone who is well read, intelligent, attractive, talented etc. You better also be like that if you want the relationship to be equal.

>Women aren't really selective either, the "men you want" is just someone that 1. you consider physically attractive and 2. has an interest of you. There's literally nothing else to it.
What the fuck. You don't know diddly squat about women.

Sure some are that shallow. But, if you're like any of the women I know, you want someone who interests you, who you have a lot in common with, who's life goals and politics match yours, who is attractive, who is not emotionally retarded and can maturely deal with issues, who you're not going to have to support financially, who is not sexist, etc, etc etc.

Everyone is picky. What the hell are you even taking about?

>as you are attractive (which literally takes no effort, unless you consider basic hygiene to be an outstanding achievement)
Also this.
>working out
>eating well
>makeup
>nice clothing
>having good genetics to work with.
It's not that easy.

>>17990835
>working out
lol right, you just need to avoid being morbidly obese, which can be achieved by not eating like pigs (which most women forget to do after the get married for some reason)
>eating well
is really not eating like pigs that hard for women?
>makeup
oh, woe. All those countless hours watching youtube videos, so much effort.
>nice clothing
unless you are designing and handmaking the clothes I don't see how this qualifies as effort
>having good genetics to work with.
that's not even something you can control.. the "effort" goes to your mom that chose the most well read, intelligent, attractive, talented etc. guy she could find (as your mom surely did :
;) )

>>17990902
Ignores everything else said I see.

>>17990907
I don't see how anything of that is different from just sitting around while waiting for someone that fits your particular criteria. Therefore not worth mentioning. Also bullshit, because by your own definition you won't be interested in someone that is way more intelligent, attractive or talented than you, which we all know is not the case.

And sure, those things that you listed may have some effort attached to them, but they only serve the purpose of rising your own (selfish) value as a woman.
In the context of a relationship, whoever approaches first is the one that has the most to lose (most of the time men) and in my eyes, the one that is more emotionally invested all the way through..

>>17990941
>Believes hypergamy
Whatever dude, there's no reasoning with a red pill nerd. I don't want more or less than me. I want equal, but you'll never believe that so whatever.

Also, I'm a lesbian so most of what you say is invalid anyway.

>>17988197
He's trying to do that cutesy banter shit, you're supposed to insist you love him more back.

>>17990969
Instead she vent on 4chan lol

>when your gf is autistic

>>17990632
You haven't been in our heads you don't know.

>>17990750
Haha lately I feel the same but I think it's my bitterness over no one living me in particular speaking. In my life, every single guy I've been out with has pretry much just wanted to get with me for my body and once they find out that I'm nervous about sex they ghost me just like that.
Love may exist but for some reason I seem to be unlovable...

>>17990811
We don't want someone that's just attractive holly shit. *takes a calming breath*
First off, aren't you admitting that you find women boring and uninteresting? Ist it logical to ase that you are NOT in fact capable of being in love with women but rather their looks? When I've loved men it's for their personality. I like intelligent,
Independent minded men with an empathic side along with a host of their own personal idjosyncracies. Being attractive draws the eye for sure and makes me notice you more at first but it won't keep me interested for more than a date or two.

>>17990941
I don't think all red pill men are retarded but you just might be. I think women love men more honestly simply because there's more to love. Us girls are pretty mundane as humans and men are dynamic and interesting. We may not be terribly interesting or important but we can certainly love a man to our core.

>>17991029
>*takes a calming breath*
Holy shit. Is this bait or are you just completely clueless?

>>17991015
Meet guys who work a theoretical job, they have a lot of ideals but are also less likely to just want your body.
This is embarrassing to admit but I'm looking for a muse and all women I've been with are undergrad party girls. Perhaps I'm looking at the wrong places too.

>>17991037
Women who grovel about their inferiority in a sad attempt to get anonymous validation are almost as bad as vapid normie whites.

>>17991042
>whores not whites

>>17991038
Yikes I made some typos. What makes you think I'm clueless? Do you actually think men love women more when the main thing I hear men mention about a girl in an actually positive light is her sexuality? Are you that emotionally retarded that lust = love in your heads?

>>17991045
Because *writing text like this* is cringy as fuck tumblrspeak lurk more before posting here. I haven't seen anyone fuck up that bad in awhile.

>>17991045
>love is not equal to lust

So if there are thousands of men who are conventionally and extremely more attractive than your boyfriend you'd fuck them all but it'd be okay because it's just sex and your heart is reserved for your bf?

>>17991042
I'm not groveling. For ducks sake you can't even agree with a man without him biting your head off.
Men think we're garbage aside from our bodies.
Tell me, how is it remotely possible to think we're garbage and yet somehow you love us more than we love you? You are contradicting yourselve's.

>>17991049
I don't really care if I make a 4chamer cringe. I dont care enough about being accepted that I'd mold my personality to fit in with every loser I run across.

>>17988197
If this kind of shit bugs you, you deserve to be alone.

Dump his ass so he can find someone who actually appreciates him.

>>17991037
Pretending to be a woman on 4chan. Wow, pathetic.

No woman would say that.

>>17991051
No becaause for 1, I'm not terribly sex crazed, and two, love is about not deliberately hurting the person you're with.. but loving someone for their body is NOT loving THEM. We are not just our bodies.

>>17991064
Eh I don't enjoy thinking like this. Seriously it's a MAJOR contributer to my ongoing depression but it's true none the less. I wouldn't recommend an inferiority complex. 0/10.

>>17991065
It's almost like there's no emotional or intimate side to sex that men might desperately crave from their girlfriend's in order to feel love.

I honestly think most relationship problems come from men and women failing to understand each other's sexualities and sexual needs are different and seeing the other gender as somehow inferior because of it.

>>17991068
I don't see men as inferior but u don't they quite understand their own emotions.
Yes I know sex can be intimate but it's not about loving them as a person. It's loving a thing you can do with their bodies. I don't think you get how lonely that can make a girl feel in a relationship.

>>17991068
I don't see men as inferior but I don't think they quite understand their own emotions.
Yes I know sex can be intimate but it's not about loving them as a person. It's loving a thing you can do with their bodies. I don't think you get how lonely that can make a girl feel in a relationship.

>>17991076
That's not generally true if the guy actually loves you. Sure he finds you attractive but if he just wanted an attractive girl to fuck there's no reason to bother with a relationship. Many people (not just men) really require physical affection to feel loved, and I don't just mean sex.

>>17991056
Well, we're not garbage but I agree that men think that. It does show a great schism in thinking. Maybe that lesbian chick has the right idea.

I have the opposite problem OP. I don't think my bf needs me as much as I need him and don't know how to get over it.

He's probably an incredibly insecure guy and needs constant reassurance.

>>17991056
>Men think we're garbage aside from our bodies
w e w

Most well adjusted men don't think this. Generally speaking, men who think women are garbage do so because they were taught to put women on a pedestal early on, and when reality didn't match the ideal they coped by going to the opposite extreme.

>>17991088
I don't think we're garbage either, just less economically important and a bit unexciting.
I feel like men are just trying to turn love into a competition just so they can say they're better than us at yet another thing. I find that pretty illogical as seeing someone as inferior in every way invalidates any claim you have to loving them as people.

>>17991097
Probably. But you have to admit it's common. Im used to that by now but this new thing going around that men love more just makes me snap when it's paired with their general opinion of us. So illogical it hurts my brain.

>>17991099
> less economically important and a bit unexciting.
Wow, that inferiority complex got you bad huh?

What's unexiting? There are no personality traits that some men possess that women don't, no interests that men have that women don't. It's impossible to say that a whole gender is boring, because people are more than their gender. Hell, I don't even like many people, but my dislike is not gendered. There are boring, vapid asinine men and boring, vapid, asinine women.

We're pretty equal in our minds, men only have physical strength over us, and most jobs requiring that are falling by the wayside anyway.

>>17991119
It may be cultural but I've noticed a lot of girls don't have a lot of skills in general. I'm not saying that were ALL boring or skill less but the statistics for creation of most things are definitely heavier on men's side.
Let's not turn this into a gender debate. I have my reasons for believing the way I do.it doesn't mean I don't make up my mind about people case by case.

>>17991125
But, historically women weren't able to obtain the skills needed to do great things-can't write a novel if you can't read and won't be published, can't create great art if you can't attend a school to learn how, can't create great music if you're not taken seriously etc.

Plus, childbirth took up a lot more of women's time than it does now-women were perpetually pregnant because lots of kids died and there was no birth control.

It's evening out more now.

It just seems a really sad, self hating way to be. I feel sorry for you, just as I do for misogynists and misandrists.

>>17991130
But the fact is that it's not at all even in moden times.
And I agree. It sucks to think like this. If I jump off a cliff by 25 it'll probably be due to this outlook. Off topic but you know something that REALLY drives me crazy? When misogynist say girls would be happier if they just "knew their place". I sit here as living proof that seeing yourself as inferior is NOR HEALTHY. But their heads are so far up their asses's that they don't even think you can be correct about your own feelings..your own feelings that you alone feel. Fucking hell men are clueless about emotion sometimes.

>>17991141
Have you gone to counselling? I'm a bit worried about you anon, and I want you to be okay.

Try reading stuff like Virginia Woolf or George Eliot to see genuine quality female work.

>>17991145
Haha. I have. I don't think writing is something men alone excel at.
I needed therapy 5 years ago but unfortunately it's not free and no one pays my bills so I'll just have to figure out what I like about myself on my own. Step one is actively avoiding gender debates..

>>17991152
Well, I hope you move beyond this, I really do. I wouldn't recommend talking to modern day feminists though. Nothing'll put you off your gender more.

Best of luck anon, hopefully you feel better, and sorry for debating a bit.

>>17988197
Well i had just posted a long ass answer that may have helped but backed for stupid am i....so...short and sweet...emotions are painful to us...inside pain...and that is confusiong and fustrating to us...he equates his inside pain to amount love.

>>17991176
happens to the best of us kek