Hey guys, I have an attraction to females predominately. But I also find that I have an attraction to either gender on a much larger scale if I have a strong friendship.
Right now I have a friend who I have a crush on of the same gender (both guys btw). I like having him over and getting drunk to give me an excuse to hug him on the couch. I believe he knows my feelings for him. I believe he MAY carry similar feelings but I am not sure. When driving later today I feel I should talk about the hugging and stuff. But should I tell him my feelings? He supposedly regrets the night we kissed and snuggled. But I believe that was more of an awkward friendship point of view. I pretended to forget it for his comfort.
Anyway, tonight I hugged him and played with his hair. All I see from us is a kinetic relationship and nothing more. Is it a wise idea to say anything really? I feel like the hugging part may be a necessary thing to mention just as a tester.
Well everyone falls somewhere on the kinsey scale. I wouldn't worry too much about trying to fit yourself into a box re: who you're attracted to.
Although, I think if I were a tumblr SJW reading this post, I'd call you a demisexual. That's a silly term but it may be of some use to you if there's idk, an advice subreddit or something lol
Anyway with the friend it's really a toss-up; could go well could go poorly. If you want to escalate physically, you probably shouldn't talk about it just yet. I know that sounds like bad advice (and it's certainly subjective, take it with a grain of salt, etc) but with things like this it is really going to come down to heat-of-the-moment instinct and trying to talk it out is going to douse those flames, so to speak.
That being said, be aware that, as with any friendship, sex is a huge complicating factor and things may end poorly. Are you willing to lose your friend over this? (This isn't a rhetorical question; the answer for you may be "yes". Or, you may not be able to continue being friends with him without consummating the crush, in which case, fuck it)
From the way you phrase things, it sounds like you are interested in this guy. Since you guys have kissed, i feel safe in saying that you are both gay. To each his own. /begin_politically_correct_rant; I use only two categories, there is straight and gay. You are either or. All other categories fit into one of these. Don't get offended. Just think of it like using only the categories of Rock and Pop to qualify music. /end_rant. Go for it and be happy? maybe? will you be happy?
>>17984931
Not OP but this doesn't make sense. If OP has had willing sexual relationships with women before, he's just as straight as he is gay.
Is David Bowie rock or pop? And let's not get started on his sexuality...
You can claim that this is just how you categorize things but you're eventually going to regret it when this semantic system leaves you unable to describe what you encounter in real life.
>>17984948
Let me clarify. A straight person has clear defined boundaries. If one steps over these boundaries one is gay. According to this classification a bi would be gay. I admit that my analogy to music was a bit cumbersome.