Why do I still have dreams about my ex boyfriend? I haven't

>>17976786
I think this is fairly normal. I am 29 and still have random dreams about a relationship I was in between 15-19.

Are you currently in a relationship?
Are you happy?

I think in general it is a sub-conscious way of missing the feeling o being loved and happy and not necessarily the person themselves.

>>17976813
Thank you for replying to my shitty thread!

>Are you currently in a relationship?
I am.
>Are you happy?
I am.


>I think in general it is a sub-conscious way of missing the feeling o being loved and happy and not necessarily the person themselves.

Yes, I guess so. He did give me infinite love and was just an amazing person overall. It didn't work out because we were both headed in different directions.
I don't think it's healthy for me to feel pangs when I think of him or hear about him though. Is it?

>>17976820
Probably not, but I would look deeper into why you are feeling them and not necessarily for whom. Clearly there is something you miss if you are feeling pangs.

"It didn't work out because we were both headed in different directions."

If this were true he probably would have made attempts to reach out to you. If he hasn't then this is just you romanticizing the past and making the pain softer for yourself. I've done the same thing so I know we tend to see our ex's as more glorious than they actually were the same way we tend to remember people who passed away as better than they actually were. It is less painful, but it can also cause problems like you face now. This is just my opinion and input though.

>>17976879
Well I disappeared off the face of the Earth and didn't reach out or look for him. I would never disrupt his life or anything like that. He tried reaching out once but I ignored it because I saw he was in a relationship on Facebook.

I am not sure what I am missing or if it's something I need.

If anything, he was the most loyal of the bunch I have dated and so I have glorified him based on that alone. I can't fault him as a human though, he was beautiful.

>>17976890
If you can hold him in such high regards then I think:

>Are you currently in a relationship?
I am.
>Are you happy?
I am.

Is a stretch of the truth. If you truly feel this way about him then I personally feel like you don't respect your current partner or at the very least you are seeing qualities in the former that our current does not hold. Don't settle for what you have now if it doesn't live up to your standards. It isn't fair to either you or your current boyfriend. If your boyfriend told you that he held the same feelings for one of his ex's how would it make you feel?

I am not trying to attack you by the way, but you need to accept responsibility for your thoughts and feelings.

At best I say dig down and figure out what the ex had that the current doesn't and talk to the current one about it (not mentioning the ex obviously, just the missing quality/ies).

At worst leave the person you are with now to save them heartbreak down the road and find someone who actually makes you happy to the point where you don't think about someone else.

You are not a monster for feeling this way, you are only human, but it isn't right and I think deep down you know that.