I was like you once. Not many friends, drank a lot of soda, spent

im gay

Why mention soda specifically?

>>17971040

I don't drink any now, and feel much better overall. Teeth are better off, stomach is better off, face cleared up a lot since then. Mostly drink water now, with some coffee and tea. Not sweetened.

>>17971037
You only quit those things because you had no willpower, you were too weak to control yourself.
You stopped taking CompSci and started the easy route of taking a art degree, now you make multiples less money than you should be making.
You got married because that was the easy thing to do, and everybody is expected to have, that white picket-fence, wife, job, and 2.5 kids.

You're still depressed because you know you're living a lie.

>>17971069
Not quite.

I changed degrees because I didn't like CompSci. I didn't really know what I wanted to do going into college, and everybody kept saying, "Well, you're great at computers, you should do that!"

It wasn't a bad major, but it wasn't something I enjoyed. Sure, I could have made more money possibly going that route, but I wouldn't have been happy. I'm not exactly doing poorly as it is though, and life isn't about accruing as much money as possible.

I got married because I had spent 5+ years living with this woman and decided to move forward with that. It helps a lot from a legal perspective, and simplifies our taxes and housing situation.

No plans for children, neither of us want them.

Depression runs in the family, especially on my dad's side. They are successful all the way up the ladder, and have all dealt with it their entire lives.

>>17971037
what is she like in bed

>>17971093
I sometimes wish she was a bit more aggressive in that regard, but we seem to be pretty compatible.

>>17971037
How can I be sure that working for the next few decades will make me happier than playing games at my parents' house when every job I've ever had and likely will have hasn't make me happier than video games? It's been 12 years and video games are as fun as ever. Why conform for no reason?

>>17971196

I suppose it is going to be different for everybody, but over time my interests grew away from games, and more towards my career. There was a greater sense of satisfaction from that than there was from games.

I still play from time to time, but now I can't handle more than an hour or so before I grow disinterested.

Design projects, house work and time with friends all wind up being more rewarding to me.

It will differ for everybody. My advice would be find something you actually enjoy working on.

>>17971236
I already have. As rewarding as your housework and shooting the bull sound, I have found infinitely more joy from beating RPG titles.

I'm glad you admit that not being NEET isn't for everyone. More people should realize this.

>>17971069
Haha comp sci is an easy route too, don't delude yourself.

>>17971263
To each their own.

If play games is a sustainable lifestyle for you, and it isn't creating any problems, go for it.

I had 3 close friends over my years in college. We were all studying CS originally.

The first wound up going into computer security, lost a shitload of weight, and really bettered himself in that regard. Doesn't play games much anymore.

The second is still kind of floating about in life, but is perusing other interests, doesn't play games much anymore.

The third dropped out halfway through to play LoL, and still lives with his parents. According to his Steam page, he's putting in close to 70 hours a week. I'm not sure if that's sustainable for him or not, but I don't talk to him anymore.

how or where did you meet your wife? I'm trying to get into dating but all I have to rely on is cold approaching at various social gathering places.

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>>17971037
Why do Asian girls make for better wives on average? Is there any reason at all why I shouldn't preferentially aim to marry one?

>>17971293
I met her in college.

She was studying design as well, and I had been crushing on her from a distance for a few weeks. She had brightly colored hair at the time as mandated by an art degree.

I asked if she'd be interested in attending an art student meeting I was a part of. Not a date mind you, just if she was interested in going. I had designed the poster for it, it was really bad looking back at it.

Surprisingly, she showed up at the meeting, and seemed genuinely interested in what we were talking about. I had been on a streak of horrible Craigslist encounters (nothing like Tinder at that time that I knew about), so I had some less shame than usual. Seriously, I was spilling spaghetti at Target asking random checkout ladies I found attractive if they'd be interested in a date. No shame, in retrospect, it was bad.

I asked her if she'd be interested in coffee after the meeting, and she said yes! We spent hours talking about the new Tron movie, how Daft Punk was suppose to be doing the soundtrack, Bioware games, and a bunch of other stuff.

That was close to 7 years ago. I'm surprised she stuck with me that long, especially through my, "Oh wow, drinking all the time is great" phase at the end of college.

>>17971303
I'm not sure, my wife isn't Asian.

I'd say having a wife you treat as a partner is more important than anything. We split everything evenly, and delegate tasks we are suited to better.

If it were me, I'd focus less on the race and more on the compatibility.

>>17971309
now I feel like I'm going to be single forever. college is too expensive. I don't know what I'm going to do. my parents don't pay for my tuition.

>>17971310
>howd you learn to talk to girls and meet your wife?

After a horrible "relationship" lasting almost 4 years, I went on kind of a bender of really shitty craigslist dates, and just started blindly asking women to go on dates. In hindsight it wasn't the best route to take, but I did learn a lot. Kind of a trial by fire.

>>17971314

You can meet people lots of places. I'd recommend looking at Meetup.com and seeing if there are any groups doing anything that you find interesting near you. Even the ones that are just meetups where people walk and talk can actually be really fun and relaxing.

Online dating is a lot better now than when I was looking, you can certainly try that. I'd ask a friend to check it before you let it go live to make sure nothing comes across as creepy or weird.

>>17971315
>craigslist dates
Jesus Christ, I didn't know that was a thing.

>>17971318
yeah, that's a good idea. Meetup seems dead but I haven't really tried anything yet. wish me luck man I'll need it.

Hey man, I'm happy to read you are doing so great!

I got a kind of struggle in my hands right now. Basically tomorrow i, had plans with my ex gf to go watch a movie, then afterwards go without her to this concert where all.my friends will be. I had the plan with my ex since last sunday

But yesterday a girl im starting to know and i got to meet a couple of times invited me to go to this party, and I can't do both things. Its the party or the movie.

Some background with my ex: after the loss of a significant other of hers, we started dating (not just afterrwards that) we were happy but our biggest dealbreaker was the fact her friends were really toxic people that only wanted her for themselves and the fact when we were alone together she was someone i was deepky in love with, but infront of her friends (only infront of them) she was another kind of person i didnt love and i even found childish...

Two.months into our relationship, she asks me to reconsider the whole thing. Says she loves me, i make her happy, but she needed for herself after the loss. We still see each other, but it gets worse gradually until one day she sees im still really in love with her and tells me we are definetely not in a monogamous relationship. A subtle way to say shes been seeing other men. I break up with her definetely and i even go as far as to break contact since even all that happaned to me she still told me she loved me and missed me and thought about me a lot. Yet, not enough to go.back to me.

>>17971342
Wr met for the first time last sunday. There wasnt only that mad atteaction between two people who lust for each other, but that sort of thing that happens when two people love each other. Lots of just staring into each others eyes and laugh like dummies. But nothing happenes because i didnt wanted to. I mean, after all the pain pre breakup, after all i went through... i felt that was unfair for me. I felt i.just didnt wanted that life for me, having to stand her friends and her being two sides, one being the one i loved and the other the coke head party monster that in reality deep down might be doing all of that not because its natural of her, but becaise it might be her way to deal with the pain...


Look, I love this girl. But last sunday i might have done thw very best for me. And now... i dont want her out of my life, i want her as a friend, i want to be thete when she needs help. But perhaps she doesnt deserve the priority she had? Perhaps i should prioritize new people, and just tell my gf to meet another day because ill be busy tomorrow but i still wanna see her?

I want to do tje righ thing, OP. For me first, but also keeping her in my life. I feel.something as silly as having too many plans that happen at once sort of becomes tje beginning of.something, as if: depending of how i choose to give priorities to, things will go one way or another

>>17971342
Ex is a skank and a manipulator. Ditch her and never look back. If you do anything otherwise you'd be considered by most a weak person

>>17971348
>coke head party monster
Jesus fucking Christ anon how stupid can you be get this woman out of your life

>>17971342
not samefag but go for new girl in this case. Seems like the cooler thing to do. Also give your ex a chance to miss you.

>>17971361
Well I'm too a huge party monster, if not bigger than her: because i dont do drugs meaning i dont get huge hangover. She comes from a very "afterparty" party culture of ending the party the followinf afternoon in a messy rave. I always feel facinated by those parties but i got tired by 09:00 in the morning. But, the moment i woke up i couls keep partying because no hangover: this people, including her? They were dead by the time i woke up


Being a party animal and doing coke, i dont think is that much of a problem. But i ultimately realized she did that not for fun, but to shut off the pain. Its what shes been doing all her life, her way to deal with grieff.. thats the problem. Thats not leading anywhere good..

>>17971356
I needed to hear it like this

>>17971320
It was the bottom of the barrel type situation. Even as pathetic as I was at the time, these people were in a league of their own.

>>17971337
It's entirely possible that there are other sites now that cater to that sort of thing. Any sort of meetup that isn't explicitly built around drinking or "hooking up" is a good start.

>>17971348
That's a tough spot to be, it can be really hard to get over somebody, especially when they have two sides like that. It sounds like you did make the right call though.

It sounds like the new lady might be a fresh start, and much less of a toxic environment. If it were me, I'd probably go to the party. Your ex isn't going anywhere, and you aren't planning on being with her in that way anyway.

The ex sounds like she likes your stability, but wants free reign to go out and do whatever she wants. Not really a good spot for a long term relationship.

>>17971369
>also give your ex a chance to miss you

How?

I was planning to cancel the tomorrow plan, but ask her to go see this exposition this sunday. I don't know if its a smooth move, since essentially im cancelling her plan because i want to go to that party over going to watch that movie with her

>>17971379
She's 20, and just moved to my city, a bigger and brighter one than her hometown.

What i always gather both from deep feelings and vibes i get from her, and some wisdom from my best friends, she definetely loves me and perhaps its not our time. Perhaps we will have better luck in tje future. She definetely needs to fuck it up a little, realise things. Maybe shes the woman of my life and im the man of her life? I dont know, i feel.its that, but the hell does that make out of me now?

I don't want her out of.my life,.nor make her an enemy, but honestly im starting to get a little too old for some shit (her friends, for instance)

Alrighty, back from the airport not.

>>17971440
Now*

I suppose I can ask a question of you 4chan.

7 years is both a short and long amount of time, depending on how you look at it.

Are you better or worse off than you were 7 years ago?

7 years from now, do you think you'll be better or worse off?

>>17971037
ey you're in denver anon, good times

>>17971383
just cancel on her and ignore her. Let her wonder what's up with you, if she's changed you, etc. and spend some time reevaluating your position. Hang out with the other girl and your friends.

The way you talked about the breakup sounds like she needs some time to realize what she's missing and like you need some time to realize that maybe she isn't good for you.

her cheating on you behind your back is a reflection of her personality, it will probably happen again and it seems very much that she was using her loss to mask her unhappiness with you towards the end.

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>>17971037
> Not many friends, drank a lot of soda, spent all my time playing games.
none of these things describe me and you're a stupid fuck for assuming they do.

>>17971037
Holy shit 2010 was 7 years ago