There are things about my partner that I don't respect at

>>17970069
Yeah im married and im sure my wife asks these questions to herself sometimes. Listen, we men are goddamn cavemen assholes and arent as sensitive as you. The things that bother you about him he probably doesnt even recognize or know about, and if you tell him he wont understand and wont care. It doesnt matter, he sounds like a keeper, stop being so picky as shit. There are tons of things i dont respect about my wife but she is a goddamn champion who delivered with no epideral and not a single fucking sound or complaint so yeah she doesnt do dished but she sure as fuck loves my child and is willing to fight to protect her family. See? Its really easy, thats one of a thousand things, think about your man, and for everythign you dont respect think of another hundred things he does right. /thread.

>>17970087
You can't write off immoral shit as "silly men haha".

OP, you just need to decide if the good outweighs the bad. No else one can make that decision.

Have you fucked someone in a relationship before, etc? If yes, good match. If no, I'd be worried that he'd cheat on you since he doesn't respect monogamy.

>>17970087
Genuinely thank you. Its nice to hear a married perspective because I would like to consider settling down with this person.

>never cheated
>once fucked someone's wife

lol, you sure about that?

He's a hypocritical man slut and you should dump him. I can pretty much gaurentee he's cheated on you, and you just don't know about it. Even if he hasn't, he's a pretty shit person who has actively and passively hurt people. Society and you shouldn't tolerate people like that.

>>17970096
Your welcome OP. And yeah as for writing off immoral shit as silly men, neither of us know the circumstance whether he knew he was screwing a married woman or not. But listen, and goddamn it listen to me good. When you have never been married before, you view marraige like dating, like boyfriend and girlfriend. EVEN IF YOU DONT THINK YOU DO, YOU DO. You have NO IDEA what marriage is truly like until you do it. So as for him screwing a married woman? He was not in that marraige, it was just another woman for him to screw. If youve never been married you cant begin to comprehend the seriousness of that relationship so he is innocent on my part. I had sex with married women before I got married and I had NO IDEA the trouble i was causing or wrong i was doing until decades later when i got married myself. But guess what, I wasnt the adulteror, the women were, I was just getting my milf fill and looking at them as women not wives, which is what they wanted.

>>17970113
He knew... but his entire group of friends was fucking her apparently.

>>17970117
See OP she was a slam pig. What the fuck you cant say that he was immoral for being single and ramming a slam pig.Case closed OP give me some more questions my daughter is asleep in her crib and my wife is at work and im down to get you to marry that sonofabitch

>>17970134
Did you ever work in sales?

He claims when you're in sales you have to screw people in order to make money. I always thought to keep your clientele you had to be honest.

If I marry someone, and they support me with their money, I don't know if want it on my conscience ...basically I want to know I am being supported by honest money. But then again, is it my place to judge? I have no idea. I'm young btw, early 20s.

Thats pretty much all my questions. I tend to overthink things sometimes and don't want my partner to think I'm judging him.

>>17970113
You're disgusting.

Dump your boyfriend OP. He doesn't care. People like that rationalize any shitty behavior in their head, no matter how morally reprehensible. I had (*had*) a friend who genuinely *cared* about his wife, yet he cheated on her all the time. He even says he loves her, yet invites me to sleep with hookers with him. He still treated his wife well in other ways, financially, with gifts, etc.

>>17970148
>He claims when you're in sales you have to screw people in order to make money. I always thought to keep your clientele you had to be honest.


100%,

In fact you are being screwed every time you buy property, groceries, a car, clothes.

The best salesman I ever knew said this to me on my first day: "Those people, the ones who come in, they're fucking you out there. Every transaction you ever make is them fucking you. They fuck us out there, so we fuck them in here".

You sound like an insecure teen and aren't ready to even think about commitment. Grow up.

>>17970148
hollllyyyy shit lady. That is what you do in sales, you make the sale. Obviously this goes on different levels, a car salesman is the shadiest. You cant define a man by his career, not if he doesnt associate himself with it. I was a soldierfag and did shit im sure these other pussies would call immoral, but when i came home i hung the nods and rifle in the closet and was my wife's man. So you want to be supported by honest money, maybe the money i supported my wife with from killing sand niggers wasnt honest but my children eat, my wife is safe, and i would do anything for them. All your questions by the way, incase you havent noticed, are innately selfish. "I dont want it on my conciense blah blah". Lady thats not what marraige is about, marraige is about the person and what you can do for them, not whats in if for you. Sorry if im being an ass im old and curmudgendy or however you spell it.

>>17970157
yeah true i am rationalizing my younger behavior but since i got married my actions have changed. The man never changes, but his actions change. So then your invoking either Kant or consequentialism, what is morally right, the intention or the result?

>>17970169
Ok, I see your point.

>>17970162
>You sound like an insecure teen and aren't ready to even think about commitment. Grow up.
Theres nothing wrong with me asking questions about the world and its people. How else am I supposed to "grow up"? I never had a father figure to tell me about anything, so I'm on my own trying to interpret the weirdness and moral ambiguity that is my reality. You shouldn't hold that against me.

>>17970178
Both you philosophical faggot. Kys. No one cares if your actions have changed. You should have known better.

>>17970187
OP fuck your nonexistent dad you didnt need him anyway. Aint nothing wrong with Q&A. Babys crying so i have to go. Yes i did fucked up shit yes i should have known better. Regardles, always remember this: marraige is not for you or about you, it is about the other person.

Ask yourself this, do you want to get married to be with him every second? Or do you want to get married to be there for him every second?

Then get someone to ask him the same question, always double check that shit.

>>17970187
You're naive about the sales thing but fucking a married woman is something of concern.

That doesn't mean it's a dealbreaker, though...

>>17970211
Thank you, I'm taking your advice because you sound honest and experienced and I'm trying to think differently.

>>17970227
you're young, dumb, and taking advice from someone just because they sound like Daddy would

he fucked married women too, do you really think that's a good source?

go post this on reddit.com/r/relationships instead of taking important advice from internet morons

>>17970240
Ok I will, more perspective never hurts.

>>17970069
You should confront him about it, or at least mention that it bothers you the next time he does something.

How he reacts will speak volumes.

But I'd be a bit cautious, I don't know why, but I'm getting a weird possessive vibe from this.

First things first though will be to tell him how you fell and what you think. Definitely DON'T call him a hypocrite about the slut thing, just stand up for women's sexual freedoms and the like.

Imagine, even if you don't plan on having children, what this man would be like as a father, especially to your daughters.
Having kids can really change a person, but he sounds to have a low opinion of women.

Stay sharp, especially if you aren't living with him. He could be waiting to lock you in.

He could be a great guy with zero idea of how you fell. He could also be a future abuser trying to make you so dependent and seemingly 'indebted' to him that you will excuse anything he does because of the things he had done in the past, because your parents like him, which means they may not even believe you if you tell them.

Talk to him. Honesty in a relationship is vital. Just be tactful. Ask him not to call women whores because who a woman sleeps with isn't relevant to her worth. Try and persuade him to not screw people over for money, if he still does.

Just be honest. He can't address these things or give you his side if he doesn't even know there is one.

I hope it turns out great for you femanon.

>>17970227
Just make sure this goes both ways or you'll end up in a marriage where he is in it for himself and you are in it for him and no one gives a shit about you.

>>17970245
Another old married guy here. I think he earned his spurs with you somewhat. I think I also improved as a person since I got married. My wife says I got "domesticated" more. Perhaps that is what all good marriages are about, you thinking about the other one more than about yourself and them doing the vice verse. But you need to be sure about the other person.

In your case, if he didn't show he cares for you when you needed him, I'd be worried for you since he is obviously older and more world-wise than you. But it seems you might have a winner, not because he is a winner as himself, but because he seems to love you enough to want to improve himself for you.

Those bad things you know about him, you know them since he told you, right? Shows he wants to come clean, to tell you of what he is like. You should tell him what you think always and expect him to really take that into consideration. My wife is less skilled at the game of life than me, also she is younger, but she is my moral compass. She understands what is the (morally) right way better than I do, most of the time. So we talk and we make all the important calls together. If you two can build something like that, you could become a very good team.

>>17970285
Thank you very much for your input. I agree that I should discuss the way I feel with him. I'll make an effort to. Sometimes I just feel that if I'm overthinking or overreacting to something, I'd rather make that my responsibility than put my boyfriend on the spot if its actually my own problem and not his.

I know he is not an abuser because he always encourages me to do things on my own and be independent because he cares about me.

>>17970297
Thank you again for your input. This thread is more than just "should I marry this guy", its about answering the questions independent of him, like "what is marriage supposed to be", "how should I approach commitment to another human being". I am trying to learn from you anons, thank you!

>>17970069
Talk about it with him till he changes his ways, those are really big flaws imo. If he's legit sweet to you after those behaviors then you've obviously got something really good. I'd just bring it up in idle conversation a bunch without putting in emotional investment, in order to erode at his imperfections. And/or confront him.

>>17970069
I think you've answered your own question. I wouldn't want to be around this person for even a second.

>>17970113
Clearly HE can't comprehend the seriousness of any relationship.

>>17970285
Anon is wise.

>>17970211
>fuck your nonexistent dad you didnt need him anyway.
>this is what fatherless people actually believe

>>17970069
Am married, been with my wife around 15 years now. Two kids.

>once fucked someone's wife
That's something that is between the wife in question and her husband.

>has screwed people over for money
For business or for personal reasons?
Business is perfectly acceptable. That's the way the world works.
Personal.... it's gotta have been for a good reason.

>sometimes calls girls whores/sluts for sleeping around, including girls he has fucked which to me is hypocritical
Whore/Slut isn't necessarily a *bad* thing for a guy to consider a woman. However, try calling him a whore/slut in response and see where that goes :) Call out the hipocrisy.

He sounds like he loves you. If he's good to you and your family, just take the good, since the bad isn't directed at you and yours.

And everyone has "the bad".

>>17970069
Those are some major red flags IMO. I would never settle with someone as amoral as he seems.
People can appear nice but be rotten in their core. What do you value more, being treated nicely or having a partner with good morals? I think for most people, specially those seeking a long-term relationship, the answer is obvious.
Treacherous people like that are the most dangerous kind since it's easy to fall for them only to discover their putridness when it's too late.
I know it sounds like I'm jumping to conclusions but I'm simply telling you to be very careful and aware. Don't ignore the things that bother you, they will only grow with time.