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I've posted about this a few times here before. Backstory:
>guy i like in my study group but can't seem to get past that acquaintance stage
>during group sessions he seems into me - looks at me all the time, sometimes going out of his way to do so, makes eye contact with me, checks to see if I'm laughing at his jokes, etc
>once studying is over, ignores me and sometimes seems to go out of his way to avoid talking to me
>mixedsignals.gif
>would like to be more than friends, but ok with just being friends too
>not willing to ask out myself due to recent bad experiences doing so, don't know if i can handle rejection of any kind right now
>only have his phone number due to a group text from group leader, not because he gave it to me
>asked /adv/ if it would be ok for me to text him to ask how he is doing because he has
seemed unhappy for a few weeks
>/adv/ says yesofcourse.jpg.
>text him after next group session, text goes well, he seems happy to talk to me and talks longer than i expected (~30 min conversation about school and work)
>hoping ice was finally broken
saw him on Saturday in the group and he mostly ignored me and acted kind of weird, but not dramatically so. Seeing him again tonight, assuming he is there, but there's been no further communication so far. I was kind of hoping for another text at worst and an invite to hang out at best, but no go.
He is always very nice to everyone, including very annoying people who have come and gone and who most people talk shit about. It's a nice quality and one of the reasons I like him, but the downside is it's hard to know where you stand with him.
Do I write him off at this point? The eye flirting / then avoiding has been going on for months and I'm kind of tired of it and wonder if it's all in my head. I find myself avoiding other opportunities because I hope there's something with this guy, but it never advances.
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>>17967339
anyone? i'm leaving in about 10 minutes and feeling kind of nauseous.
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>>17967413
Well if you guys are like 19 I'd say maybe he's shy and is more comfortable talking to you over text/in a group context than he is speaking with you directly
If you really really like this guy you can keep pushing and maybe he'll get used to you and start talking to you like a person
Or if you ain't got time for that then just stop trying
Up to you
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>>17967413
He might have some personal problems in his house or something OP hence the occasional weird attitude
>>17967421
This
Force interaction between him and you
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>>17967421
We're older - early to mid 20s. I think we are both pretty "adult", except for me when it comes to relationships, sex, and dating. I am like a 13 year old in that respect.
We both have decent job and he is in grad school on top of that. The study group is a hobby / professional development thing, not a school thing, but it is the only social thing I do at the moment so I'm hesitant to make it an awkward place for me to attend.
He is not an objectively good looking guy (he is very good looking to me though), but he is a quality person. I've seen a picture of an ex girlfriend of his on facebook and she was way better looking than I am, though we are arguably similar "types".
I don't mind pushing more, I guess, so long as there is at least some reciprocal effort, and I don't know, it seems like there's been nothing. I kind of feel like he knows I have a crush on him, he gets an ego boost from it so he doesn't discourage it, but otherwise isn't interested in me. I have no idea if that's me being realistic or if that's me being self loathing and self destructive.
It could be that I'm just as guilty as sending him mixed signals and making it hard for him to know how I feel, but I think it's pretty obvious that I'm shy and quiet and not outgoing. He is also friends with almost everyone in the group and I'm very much an outsider, so I feel like it's more "his turf".
I think I might just give up. It has been too frustrating to continue. I feel like that text was my hail mary and even though it initially seemed like it worked, it did not.
Sorry for the long post, I think I just worked through some stuff though.
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>>17967447
>I feel like that text was my hail mary and even though it initially seemed like it worked, it did not
Errr...
That's not a hail marry...
A hail marry would AT LEAST be at the level of you actually asking him out...
And no, you cannot use "shy" as a cop out. Not when you're calling that a "hail marry"...
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>>17967463
>>hail mary
>>hail mary
>>hail mary
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>>17967339
>Do I write him off at this point
yes please do so
he is popular & that's why he flirts
you made a move, he didn't respond
if you make another move, then you put yourself into the creep zone
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>>17967463
Yeah, I'm not going to be asking anyone out anytime soon. The last couple of times I tried, it was disastrous and i just can't. You can call it an excuse all you want, and maybe it is, but it's just not going to happen. Maybe it won't be this way for forever, but right now, I need someone to pursue me, at least a little bit, and make me feel safe and trusting again. And this guy does not appear to be that person, for whatever reason.
>>17967846
I think you're probably right. He mostly seems popular amongst guys, but in any case, he's not making any effort to reach out to me and I have already done it once for him. So I think that is that. It is disappointing.
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let it go
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>>17968104
>So I think that is that. It is disappointing.
yes disappointing...... for now
but what if a few weeks from now he then decides you are "worthy" of his attention ?
that is when you need to really be cool and let him chase you somewhat
smooch :)
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