I’m tired of being a nice guy. Attracting women isn’t the

The D.E.N.N.I.S system

But seriously, ever thought that maybe youre just going after a certain type?
The last 3 girls I've pursued I feel like that's what's happened to me, but it's not all women, it's just these crazy types I keep picking up

>>17966762
I think I know what you're talking about. I never only pursue a women because of their looks. They're always 'chill','interesting' or 'smart' in some way. maybe I need to lower my standards and broaden my options.

But yeah these crazy types that are afraid of commitment or someone they're afraid who might hurt them. Most of these girls have some sort of past shitty relationship that still fucks with them to this day.

>>17966709
A while back I made this post on /biz/ and thanks to the archives I have found it. It doesn't fit you exact situation, but I think it describes your attitude about this decently:

>nice guy
>No, you're not, you're a piece of shit, and let me tell you why. You do things for people only because of what you perceive is in it for YOU. That's the definition of selfishness.

>Your problem isn't niceness, your problem is you're a spineless, gutless, piece of shit who somehow got it into your little, money-grubbing head that being everyone else's doormat would somehow benefit YOU.

>You know why I'm being so hard on you? I am sick and tired of people using "niceness" as an excuse for other personal shortcomings. Niceness in of itself is a positive trait that people should strive to have. Passivity and a lack of assertiveness would be better descriptors for you.

>One last side not about why I'm so butt-blasted by your post. You know "nice guys" that are now universally made fun of? Who act like treating women like basic human beings entitles them to sex? Well you're the same way, except instead of sex from women, it's social (ie. jobs, promotions) or financial (payment for services) gain.

Unlike the guy I wrote this for, I think your issue is more coming off as needy, which is the problem in of itself rather than being "nice and caring". There is a difference.

>>17966792
Pretty much.
The last three i went after all had some issues stemming from the home.
One was adopted, two had shitty neglectful fathers, one was raped or sexually abused as a kid, not sure which.
ALL of them were '2tuff4u', and all want to get their shit beat up in the bedroom, which im not about.
I met somr girl on tinder last week who didnt have a fucked up background, but she was slightly more than chubby and catfished me, so i said no.

Shit sucks, but im keeping my eye out for a girl with little to no issues and takes care of herself

>>17966813
That was actually beautiful and pretty helpful.

I will say this though; some women are beautiful, lovely and intelligent. That however doesn't mean that they are good judges of character. Allot of these sweet and kind girls end up with scumbags who eventually cheat, lie etc.

What I am looking for atm is to gain the attraction of a women through being the alpha scumbag type that she is attracted to, (whether she knows it or not) once I have her around my finger and things are stable in the sense that she won't leave THEN I can turn the nice guy switch on.

You gotta be a scumbag first, only when they become obsessed with you can you then be the nice and romantic type. Being nice and loving only works if they are sexually attracted to you, you must be valuable and desirable in their eyes. Only then can you give her flattering attention.

>>17966762
>meme show meme system

Kek stop posting

>>17966896
>Doesn't realize I was joking
Was it autism?

>>17966709
You're wrong, girls don't like scumbags, girls like very attractive guys. I'm a girl so I should know this.

>>17966937
Girls like attractive guys that are charming, mysterious and out of reach. If you're Mr.charming and handsome during your first encounter and suddenly disappear without any messages, you're doing the right thing. This unfortunately makes a girl much more attracted to the guy. Even if she's pissed at him, if she is sexually attracted to him and he suddenly disappears she will become more obsessed with him. That is a fact, it's not how I wish for it to be but it IS that way. I'm sorry.

>>17966967
>more obsessed with him
Obsessed? Hmm, not likely. Girls usually have more than enough guys chasing them at all times to care. UNLESS that guy is attractive, charming, AND rich.

>>17966709
There's a dance to finding a partner. Potential mates are interested in one or all of these things: how smart you are (genuine knowledge, not encyclopedia smart), how well spoken you are (funny, telling stories, quick wit etc.) or how artistic you are (painting, singing, playing an instrument).

Being fit, rich, nice is nice to have, but it is secondary.

>>17966967
Stop reading PUA, m8. It won't help you.

>>17966709
AKA every "nice" guy.
keep telling urself ur the nice guy and the guys getting girls are "assholes", the reason those guys get the girls is because they know what girls want and they are themselves, while u "nice" guys keep whining in self pity who put pussy on a pedestal. A nice guy is a guy that respects woman but who doesn't feel entitled or any bad towards them unlike the entitled millennial "nice" guys who suddenly have to work for something (a gf) which is something their lazy ass can't comprehend.

>>17967000
Are these tr...trips of truth?

>>17966937
they like very attractive guys so much, that they don't even mind if hes a scumbag

>>17967027
nah he is right because they feel that you are getting attention from other girls if you are not too available. also its better game that needy guy who is orbiting her and who seems like he has no life just orbiting around her.

>>17967107
This guy gets it.

>>17967000
What's the difference between knowledge and encyclo knowledge?

its not about being nice vs being a douchebag

all it boils down to is that you think JUST being nice is enough, and a woman will fall in love with you. You have to at least TRY to make a move and thats where "nice guys" make mistakes

"douchebags", for all their flaws, atleast have the balls to go for it, which is what counts

one time i went on a date with a guy from tinder who was a nice dude, not bad in looks, but didn't call him back because nothing really clicked between us. our date was very stiff and boring, i almost kinda thought he didn't like me so i thought i'd just fade off. i figured if he really wanted to see me again, he'll call again soon. he didn't, but that didn't bother me too much. i already assumed he was on dates with other women anyways.

but 2 months later he calls me back asking to meet up again, and by then i have already found a nice, sweet boyfriend who i actually get on with. i tell him i'm taken and he started venting and said (actual quote): "i'm so sick of being the nice guy. i think i'm just gonna be a jerk/asshole now because that's what women really want. "

mfw he expected me to be single and waiting for him after 2 months.

and that's how i learned to stay the fuck away from guys who call themselves a tired nice guy.

>>17966709
Okay, how old are you though, like 19?

>>17966709
>being nice

women hate nice guys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AHH0bdNKyM

>>17966709
>So my question is, how to do I properly adopt an idgaf mentality

You can still be IDGAF and be a decent guy who is nice.

IDGAF doesn't mean you need to be an asshole

It just means you don't have to give a fuck one way or the other.

That is the TRUE difference between a guy who is nice and a Nice Guy™

A guy who's nice just does shit because, fuck it why not, may as well. If it's not reciprocated, he doesn't give a shit, because ultimate that was NEVER his goal and he was really doing it for himself anyway.

A Nice Guy™ is the kind of guy who does things that are nice for others because he wants something back in return. He gives a fuck, and he's desperate, and so he gets walked all over.

If a guy who's nice gets blown off he just thinks, "Whatever. Their loss" because it's not like he invested much of anything anyway, he was just doing what he wanted to.
A Nice Guy™ gets butt hurt over all the "wasted effort".

The basis of a guy who's nice and DGAF is self-confidence
The basis of a Nice Guy™ is insecurity

File: article-0-198FB01A000005DC-609_634x496.jpg (86KB, 634x496px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 634x496px

>>17967107
>>17967426
I feel you.

>>17967491
This is actually genuine advice that makes sense, thanks.

>>17967211
It's like the difference in being able to apply what you've learned in a certain context instead of just regurgitating facts that you've memorised. If that makes sense.

File: 1475716426561.gif (2MB, 320x218px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 320x218px

>>17966709

>However I believe I’m constantly screwing up passed the 1-2 month period. I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m nice and caring. This often leads to women devaluing me and losing interest

This is a shitty /r9k/ meme.

>Sorry guys but being considerate, caring and protective isn’t what most young women want, or at least those aren’t the kind of guys they want to fuck.

This is also a shitty /r9k/ meme.

>So my question is, how to do I properly adopt an idgaf mentality and how do I properly ignore women to the point that they are throwing the pussy at me.

Being aloof and distant will attract plenty of psychotic girls with intimacy issues who get off trying to please neglectful father figures. It will not attract any sane, good women. They'll avoid you like the plague.

The common denominator in your situation is you. Women don't have the problem, you do. You possibly could just be attracting flakey, inconsistent girls. Hell, you could be subconsciously attracted to girls that don't really like you. Any of that is possible.

This "nice guys finish last meme" is fucking played out. Women like all different kinds of things. Consider the possibility that you're just going after the wrong women. Unless you want to redpill yourself into a pussyless hole I'd immediately drop this regurgitated drivel and start thinking like an adult.

> I need to learn the art of being the scumbag who doesn’t care.

I beg you, don't do this! Two friend over the year have decided to stop being "nice" and to become "alpha", and it was a wild fucking cringe fest all the way. You can change small parts of your personality, but if you try to change it completely then you will fail.

>>17968735
/r9k/ sperglords who try PUA are a cringefest.

>>17966709
It sounds like you're putting yourself in the friendzone. Trying to put yourself onto a girls radar by acting sweet and caring is usually stupid because it just establishes you in her mind as a good friend

Look. Hands down layed out. I have gone on many dates and used to be a nice guy. I still am a nice guy just not on dates. It doesnt work. I did tests and everything. I purposly been a jerk and i get what i want. I feel like crap being a jerk but i am giving what girls want. Its fucken stupid. So stupid it does not make sense i cant even put it in a mathamaticle graph sytem for you.

>>17968809
What should you do instead?

It's not so much that girl don't like nice guys, it's more a case that girls like guys that are fun to be around and exciting. Being an exciting person gives them that spark because they are looking forward to seeing you again. If you are a nice guy but stiff, quiet and not enthusuatic then giris typically won't be feeling you because they won't be having fun. This is why girls always say they like a guy that can make them laugh.

Basically you have to have some character to yourself. Being nice isn't an absolute. I have realised this over time because i am often reserved but nice with women I date and it doesent get me anywhere. I am good looking and can attract women but they only respond enthusiastically when I am fun, not if I start bringing up some political shit. So Yeah, it's not that girls like jerks, what they like is a guy that can give them a buzz.

Its probably only really older women that want to settle down that truly appreciate a nice guy.

>>17968845
>It's not so much that girl don't like nice guys, it's more a case that girls like guys that are fun to be around and exciting.

As the anon who wrote the post about being able to be DGAF while still being nice, i'm going to expand upon this:

At the core of things, what makes people excited during dating is variety, change, and a challenge. People like to chase and be chased a little, they like a certain amount of feeling like they earned their way in to a situation, they like the excitement, and the validation it all brings.

And when you're not desperate as fuck, what you seek from someone is a certain spark of interest, of being different, of standing out and making your blood pump a little faster.

And the problem a lot of Nice Guys™ run in to is that, like this other anon said, "nice in itself is not an actual strong characteristic, nor a real personality, it's just a trend of actions.

On top of that, a lot of Nice Guys™ fall over themselves to go to extreme lengths to double down on "nice" and to perfectly contain themselves within a "nice" box, that It results in an incredibly bland set of actions that are completely devoid of personality, change, or excitement.

It's hard to get to know someone when the only thing they show you is a one dimensional "nice" facade. And it's also boring as fuck if there's never any challenge because they're always tripping over themselves to throw themselves at you.

And this "challenge" isn't even about "game" or whatever, it's about understanding that a certain amount of back and forth is healthy and helps fan the flames of passion and excitement. And this is STILL true even after you're 1 year, 5 years, 10+ years in to a relationship. Not just at the start, even later on you NEED to be able to keep it fresh and to strike up that push and pull, or else you relationship will stagnate and die.

>>17966709
Have you ever thought about the fact that by calling yourself "nice" you are not actually a nice person?

This is what I can't get my head around. Girls love nice guys. Girls marry nice guys. Being nice is not a bad thing at all. In fact, most people like niceness.

What is a bad thing is not having anything else going for you. That is the real problem. Some guys are charming, some guys have talent, some guys are funny. But every guy that has a good looking girlfriend is confident, and gets that confidence from something.

Changing your personality is weak. Making it BETTER attracts women. This whole argument about niceness is retarded, and there are just as many scumbag women as there are scumbag men. Grouping women as all loving douchebags is an assumption, which if you actually went out and socialized in real life you'd find is wrong most of the time.

Every girl I have ever met who was into douchebags had some kind of serious problem at home with their dad. No one really likes douchebags and they tend to grow up as wastes of space.

>>17966792
I used to be you, anon. This is just as shallow as going for the body or face. Even worse, the 'chill' types are often MORE SELFISH than the usual 'boring' girls. You would be -raising- your standards if you stopped chasing after the 'interesting' girls and started chasing after the good, giving, caring girls. Just pay attention on how they act around people when there is nothing in it for them, if they genuinely want to help they are good candidates. You'll see when you get to know one such, nobody is really boring, some girls are just not so open about their interestingness to advertise it all the time and everywhere.

So don't stop your dating routine, just try to find better people on whom you pour all that consideration, care and protectiveness you talk about.

Good luck!

>>17966709
This >>17966813
Is pretty much ripped from this

https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf

Read it and learn

>>17970001
>>>
This. Plus every 'douchebag' out there knows how to be nice. They just don't call themselves nice for pity

>>17967491
only good advice in this thread.

this, OP.

>>17968845
so basically be her pet dancing monkey entertainer or some fucking clown juggling balls around for her to be entertain.

Most of them are far too screwed up and ditzy to be with. And though it's not their fault, it doesn't change the fact that most of them are seriously damaged.

Still, if you don't see anything wrong with them in the beginning or even after two months and they're leaving you, maybe you should consider reading some self-help books, maybe sensitivity and civility training.

>>17967491

This.

"Love your partner in a way that makes them feel free."

Be there for them, support them, give them affection, but always be ready for them to disappear completely and being able to say "thanks for the memories, take care!"

Never become attached.