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I'm dating a 19 yr old whose family of zealots forbid her from having a boyfriend
>I'm her first
>she comes to my house every two weeks for the week-end
>she lives alone now, in another city, but her brothers check on her everyday by calling her
>she's currently studying (which was an argument with her family because she had to move and live alone) but normally she lives with her mom
>recently her worst (as in most violent and religious) brother passed by her city for work, and she's now afraid that he might show up again, and asks to see her while she's at my house, in my city.
>sometimes when she's afraid we're found out, she has panic attacks or remains silent for hours
>apart from that she's the greatest gf I ever had
I don't know wwhat to do. I'm often tempted to end it all, both for my safety, and her peace of mind, but she's really great, we get along so fucking well and click on so many aspects. There's also the fact that they evidently did a number on her, and she told me if I leave her she'll be destroyed.
It actually scared me.
Anyway, I suppose the sensible thing to do would be to break it off. I don't want to be the one who makes her break ties with her family, because what if your relationship doesn't work out and she loses them for nothing?
I'm kinda messed up right now. The whole "he might show up anytime, I can't come anymore" is really annoying me.
What would you do?
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>>17966518
>what if your relationship doesn't work out and she loses them for nothing?
Considering what they are like, it'd still be for the best.
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>17966544
True. And she knows it. Says she's gonna break all her links to them "soon". Thing is she still doesn't, and in the meantime is afraid to be found out like a child who's done a bad thing.
As far as I'm concerned, I basically don't want to motivate her breaking it off. It has to be for herself. But at the same time, keepong my frustration bottled up because I'm trying not to influence her, is actually killing me.
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Dude, how old is she? She sounds like a good but frightened person, you should be the man she can rely on to protect her. If you are not up to the task, do break up.
If you love her and want to help her, you can try to be her violently protective boyfriend to protect her from violently religious brothers. Just tell her you are there for her and there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. Probably won't come to it, but if it does, do the best you can to protect yourself. The cops take over from the first incident and you are home free.
People like her folks (assuming your tale is true) are about as far as the taliban from real Christians.
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>>17967501
>Dude how old is she
It literally tells you in the first sentence, why are you posting?
Also, holy white knight batman
>you should be the man she can rely on to protect her
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>>17967557
Sorry about reading comprehension, toothache makes me stupid.
This happened to me once: I was with a girl and her ex bf started banging the door drunk, demanding to be let in. I opened the door in my underwear and asked what was his problem. He got the picture. Didn't come to actual fighting, though I was ready to fight if needed.
You can make a stand. Most people will back off if they see you are ready to fight both physically then and legally later.
She turned out to be a bitch and he a nicer person of the two by far. Still feel bad about banging her (though at least I helped that ex get over her). But the point about making a stand is still valid.
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>>17966518
>family of zealots
why are you dating a kebab ?
she will get killed for "honor" and the kebabs will ass rape you and then slit your throat
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>>17967501
>>17967680
Except its not an ex boyfriend. It's two middle aged bulked up brothers, one even went to prison and they have a History of violence in her family. They're still her only source of support should she be in real trouble. I mean there's me, but as I Said, what if it doesnt work out?
Point is, i already reassure her. Calm her down, don't show my fear etc...But i wonder if it's a good Idea to keep this up.
I guess I feel trapped..If I stay with her I'm risquing my Well being and her sanity. If I break up she'll apparently be crushed.
How do secret couples fare usually?
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>>17966518
Stop dating a 19 year old cause for one she still needs the support of her family
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>>17966518
She can call the cops and make arrangements to sue or leave her family for abuse.
Since it looks like she is being abused by her family OP, maybe you should give her the number to a help center for women.
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