Maybe I was wrong, I don't know. Boyfriend of 3 years thinks

Unless you handle classified information, I'd say you were wrong.

t. male

completely disagree . have a fucking backbone.

>>17966517

If you have broken his trust in the past, he is right. He deserves to know whether any trust that he has built is well-placed.

>>17966517
If he's got no reason to be suspicious about you talking to other guys, I'd say he's wrong.

But, if he thinks you're cheating, I'd also say your relationship is on it's way out.

Couples need to have things of their own, privacy, that's not tied with their significant other. It's just not healthy to share every single little thing. This sounds like controlling behavior to me. Unless he's worried about your mental health I don't understand why he thinks he should have the right to go through your phone and other personal things.

I 1000% disagree. "You wouldn't get angry if there was nothing to hide" implies that there is nothing in between hiding something and wearing it on your sleeve.

What about private conversations with friends? Are their secrets now known to your boyfriend because he doesn't trust you? That's nice for them. What about being too mean about him to a trusted person in the heat of a fight? He won't see that in context and will not be able to fully grasp that you weren't in a clear state of mind. Virtually any job comes with info that they don't want you to share with third parties.

Hell even if it had nothing to do with him or other people, for me it's a point of principle that you're entitled to your own space. Even if it's merely about not wanting him to see your guilty pleasure songs or that embarrassing question you had to google. If both partners involved are cool with it then fine, but otherwise...

>>17966535
This is the main problem, I never did, he's the first person I entered into a relationship with, that includes intimacy as well.

He has however, gotten cheaten on many times (which i was understanding since the beginning and tried my best to establish that trust), he's had my passwords for social media since long ago, we study the same field, we spend quite literally the entire day together doing the same things

>>17966558
This is something he needs to deal with. It's not your job to make him feel secure by allowing him to step into your boundaries you've set up as private. Having these boundaries is healthy and necessary in any relationship. It's a good idea to have a conversation with him about this saying what your boundaries are and how it's his responsibility to move forward from the cheating he experienced in the past and not to "punish" you for it.

>>17966550
>>17966550
I literally have no friends senpai, just my immediate family , no online, nothing, I strive to live the hiki life

>not wanting to see your guilty pleasure songs or that embarrassing question you had to google

That was what happened on the first fight , he wanted to check something on my phone and I freaked because I was listening to trashy chick music and felt bad because it was dumb to even react about it, I came back later and he told me that I must had deleted the incriminating proof already. Then it snowballed into this.

I really don't understand where this boundaries is healthy for a relationship BS is coming from. It's always presented with no proof, just because it sounds convenient.

I don't see the problem with a random scroll through your text messages just to read some funny convos you might have had. It's like a random drug test, who cares? He shouldn't be doing it all the time, but one time isn't going to hurt.

>>17966584
>he didn't buy into your lie
And we're not either, stop being a trashy cheating whore and let the man have his peace of mind.

>>17966584
See, that's why you shouldn't feed this behavior. You have never broken his trust. He has passwords of all your social media. If he can't trust you by now, that's on him, but now he's effectively making it your issue.

Do you really think he'll be happy if he can go through your phone? Maybe a while. Then he'll wonder what you threw away and before you know it he's installed stuff to track everything you do on your phone.
You have to make him realize (if possible...) that his request shows that he isn't over his past. NOT that you're doing anything wrong.

>>17966592
Because it makes real sense to ask for opinions on a wholly skewed scenario...? You must be the sharpest tool in the shed.

>>17966590
>proof
Like most any advice about relationships can be backed up with proof... there's only a limited amount of studies done about this stuff because real research is so expensive and it's kind of trivial compared to many other topics.

>>17966590
I know both points have at least some truth to them, it doesn't help that it's such a passion fueled matter that greatly varies depending on past experiences.

>>17966592
If I did I would have jumped ship already, there's no benefit in ruining the good things we had much less the conflict that it would bring for everyone involved.

>>17966612
I mean anecdotal evidence even. And if it's so trivial, why is it a problem? There's no counterargument other than "I don't want him to," or "I'm embarassed at my searches." He shouldn't really care about OP's trashy music search.

>>17966622
>There's no counterargument other than "I don't want him to
Why's not wanting something not a good argument? It's not up to him to decide that she shouldn't care/be embarrassed.

But realistically speaking, the reason I would find most important is >>17966596. Let's face it - OP doesn't even have friends. He already gets into all her accounts. This controlling need is completely irrational and I strongly doubt that he's suddenly going to trust her if he goes through her phone all the time if he doesn't with everything she's done (and hasn't done, like cheating).
Typically when people cannot find this trust/conviction in themselves they keep shifting the goalposts trying to find an external fix for their personal issue. Aka he's only going to get more controlling if she doesn't set up boundaries to defend herself. And for your anecdotal evidence, yeah I've actually seen this happen to a friend of my sister. If he is hellbent on you fucking around then nothing will make him rest assured you're loyal. That's how real insecurity and fear works.

>>17966584
>That was what happened on the first fight , he wanted to check something on my phone and I freaked because I was listening to trashy chick music and felt bad because it was dumb to even react about it, I came back later and he told me that I must had deleted the incriminating proof already. Then it snowballed into this.

This is so retarded and implausible I'd have been immediately suspicious too.

There's not a single damn legitimate reason for you to not let your SO have access to your phone/pc.

>>17966550
>it's a point of principle that you're entitled to your own space
Why don't people understand this?

>>17966654
>Why's not wanting something not a good argument?
Because it's a once in a blue moon thing that reassures the relationship as long as the dude is not a crazy fuck. Slippery slope argument is not an argument.

>>17966666
>tfw got quints of truth

>>17966668
But he has already done it several times yet he still wants to do it. And OP never cheating didn't make him feel assured. OP not having any people he knows of she could even cheat with didn't make him rest assured. OP spending virtually all her time with him didn't make him trust her. OP giving him passwords to all her social media didn't make him trust her. Checking OP's phone before this post didn't make him trust her.

Slippery slope is not an argument if there's no precedent to assume that this new thing won't suffice. But there is.

>>17966517
Dump him. Not even trolling.

That's crazy over controlling and an unhealthy relationship for you.

Even if there was nothing wrong with wanting to invade your SO's privacy (there is), this points to a clear difference in world views between you two that makes it better for you to just end it now.

>>17966695
Not sure about that, she only mentioned the incident on the flight. And it doesn't matter if he had access to her social media already because the concept doesn't really work if she still has her phone secret, lol. It should be a non issue now, that is unless OP had time to go through her phone after he asked to check it.

Maybe OP has changed her behavior in some way and he is getting suspicious.

>>17966571
We already had that talk and it worked for some time, but he most likely just managed his emotions. We agreed to seek psychological help before breaking up. It also didn't help that the person he asked for their opinion told him that i wouldn't have a problem if I didn't have anything to hide, I think it was the most damaging thing that contributed to it.

>>17966590

it's called trust

if you need access to your partner's private conversations, you don't have it

>>17966727
You're right about going through her phone, I thought she mentioned it already happening a few times but apparently not.

Still though, I think it's worth taking OP's comments into account:
>we spend quite literally the entire day together doing the same things
and
>I literally have no friends senpai, just my immediate family , no online, nothing, I strive to live the hiki life

Do you realize these two alone would be more than enough to assure most men that yeah, she's just with him?
But no, this guy also has passwords of hers. I get that having social media passwords and not the phone itself still leaves room for cheating, but everything does. She can delete stuff as well (hell, she could have a second phone) so it's less about whether he could catch her in any possible scenario and more about her being more open to hopefully make his trust bigger psychologically.

And the stupid thing is, if OP had ten brain cells and was actually doing something shady, no fucking way that she would run off with her phone before handing it over. She'd argue with him that he had no right to and leave it at that. Or she'd argue it, keep it with her, stealthily delete everything later and then the next day or a couple of days later would act like she came around and understands now and hand the phone over.
What OP did was have a knee jerk reflex that she didn't think about would make her look weird because obviously she knows she's loyal and only has minor embarrassing stuff to hide. (Also porn? What about porn? Hell I would not even like for my friends to go through my phone or PC and it sure isn't because I'm doing anything really wrong or illegal.) And now he's using that as an argument that she's guilty and she better prove that she isn't.

>>17966737
You also don't have it if you freak out over a dude going through your phone.

>>17966757
Freaking out because someone does something you don't like has nothing to do with trust. What would you even be "distrustful" about when someone goes through your phone? OP isn't afraid he'll install some virus.

>>17966517
I strongly disagree.
I don't let my boyfriend touch my phone and laptop, I don't touch my boyfriend's phone and laptop.

I still have a private life, even if I am in a relationship. I don't have anything to hide, but I still (as a principle) don't want him to look at my personal stuff. He knows all my passwords and I know his, I don't go out of my way to hide anything, but I would never let him go through my texts or read my conversations, or actually log into my social media, mail or anything. It is private.
I also wouldn't want him to read whatever my friends tell me. If Jenny tells me she had an abortion, why should I let my boyfriend read it? My friends and his friends are allowed to their privacy, I wouldn't want my best friend's boyfriend to know about my family problems just because once I texted her about it.

>>17966757

if they go through your personal shit without asking, that's a lack of respect.

honestly, it's childish. can you imagine a 40 year old couple squabbling and going through each other's texts?

>>17966760
Why are you freaking out about it if you have *nothing to hide*?

>>17966763
Not an argument.

>>17966773
why do you have blinds on your windows if you have nothing to hide?

do you mind posting your address here, name , and credit card information here? since you have nothing to hide?

>>17966763
Yes i can.

>>17966781
"Not an argument" is not an argument.

Going through peoples' personal shit without permission is disrespectful. That's reason enough.

If you demand it from your relationships, it's also controlling and unhealthy.

>>17966773
Because I like privacy? I want to be alone with my thoughts when minding my business and not wonder about what it would look like in the eyes of someone else? I want people to be able to tell me personal stuff without sharing it with someone I chose to have in my life without realizing it or wanting to?

You already failed. The point isn't if he has the right or not. He's right, if you had nothing to hide from him you should have no problem saying "yes"

He probably doesn't even want to go through your shit because who has time for that. Just that you would be cool with it is answer enough. But you're not. So basically you admitted you have something to hide from him and don't trust him either. This question was a test and you failed.

>>17966784
Because I undress in my apartment and I like the surprise on people's faces when I take off my clothes. And no I won't give out my address because I think you're a spiteful liberal bunch here on /adv/.

>>17966805

Looks like you have something to hide then, idiot.

>>17966802
Putting your SO through "tests" is dickish and unhealthy.

He is 100% in the wrong.

>>17966805
So why can't people see your body? You're not fucking your neighbors. Is it deformed or something, why else would you want to keep it private?

Tip: it's because it's personal. And so is what you do for hours on end when having brainfarts on your electronic device. Or your conversations with close friends and family members. Or the picture you saved because you find it hot in a weird, embarrassing way.

>>17966810
I'm not saying he was doing this on purpose but that's how I look at it. He isn't in the wrong.

How are supposed to trust your partner if you think they are hiding shit from you?

>>17966814
Sounds like you have things to hide.

>>17966819
>How are supposed to trust your partner if you think they are hiding shit from you?
The irony...

Trusting your partner IS not thinking that they're hiding stuff from you.

Now if you have real reason to think that they do (eg because they suddenly stay out late with no explanation all the time or whatever), you can talk about that and then it's wholly different to request to check up on them.

>>17966809
Lol, I'm sure other people like the surprise too, moron.
>>17966814
I mean I leave them open sometimes on accident, it doesn't bother me and I especially don't *freak out* about it if it happens.

>>17966824
>Trusting your partner IS not thinking that they're hiding stuff from you.
OK try to keep thinking that once they start freaking out over you looking at their phone and insisting you shouldn't go near it

It should be like how that anon above described: you have each others passwords but you respect each other enough not to snoop. It's really not a hard concept.

>>17966821
Depends on how you define hiding. Would I show it if I had to? Yeah sure. Would I show it even for 50$ or something? Yeah sure.

If there is no reason for me to show it, would I prefer to keep it to myself? Yes. And more importantly, I think that's well within my rights and like another poster said, it would not cross my mind to ask my partner to expose whatever they do online to me.

And once again, there's something I absolutely do need and want to hide, and that's secrets of other people that were entrusted to me in utmost confidence.

>>17966821
>Hiding things is bad and wrong
Stop with this mindset, it's not. Everyone is entitled to hide things from the rest.

Protip: hiding does not imply deceiving.

>>17966830
>I mean I leave them open sometimes on accident, it doesn't bother me and I especially don't *freak out* about it if it happens.

mental gymnastics


>>17966834
>OK try to keep thinking that once they start freaking out over you looking at their phone and insisting you shouldn't go near it

moving the goalposts

>>17966830
OP doesn't want him to actively go through her phone. That doesn't mean she never lets him use it, never leaves it when going to the bathroom etc.

>>17966819
Because they aren't hiding shit from you. Hiding means putting some active effort in putting something in a place where it cannot be found. That's not what she's doing.
She'd be hiding something if someone texted her and she turned the screen away from him, for example. She just doesn't want to give him free access.
By requiring her the access, he shows he doesn't trust her. She hasn't done anything untrustworthy, you're asking her to prove she's not guilty.

>>17966814
I also don't know why all people don't want to see my body. Do you take your phone and show porn to everyone you pass on the street? Your analogy is retarded.

>>17966840
>buzzwords

Wew I can do it too

>>17966821
Out of curiosity, how do you feel about diaries? Should SO's be allowed to read that, too?

>>17966850

You actually already did it with your "nothing to hide" bullshit.

>>17966837
>Hiding things is bad and wrong
I never said this.

>>17966849
Being naked in the privacy of your own home and others -potentially- glimpsing you isn't exactly the same as exposing yourself in public.

>>17966802
I probably did

I know I made it look bad, I have my own insecurities and self esteem fuck ups, I didn't want him to laugh or give me a disappointed awkward look, I enjoy some things he does not. But I know those are my own issues and i should stop being miserable towards myself.

I don't think I should be paying for what his past partners did to him though, by the time when he chose to ask me out he never had a healthy closure.

>>17966844
I didn't hear anything about him "requiring access"

What's wrong with saying "sure you could look if you needed to but I'll prefer if you didn't"?

>>17966856
If you didn't mean to imply this, then observing that someone has "things to hide" is a meaningless statement.

>>17966859
When you leave your blinds open it's the same thing.

>>17966834
>OK try to keep thinking that once they start freaking out over you looking at their phone and insisting you shouldn't go near it
It is completely different tho.

Would I freak out if my boyfriend saw my credit card info? No. Would I freak out if my boyfriend asked me my credit card info? Yes. Would I freak out if my boyfriend happened to overhear me talking on the phone with my mom? No. Would I freak out if my boyfriend put the ear against the door to listen to my conversations? Yes.

My boyfriend snooping in my personal shit makes me uncomfortable. My boyfriend just happening to know it doesn't.

>>17966871

So you're saying you have something to hide

>>17966871
No, it's not. If you are peering into someone's window and don't like what you see, tough shit. That's not remotely the same as going out in the public domain, where people will have to interact with and see you by default.

>>17966867
Because he shouldn't even ask. Purposely going through your SO personal stuff is crossing a hard boundary, it shows you're distrusting and disrespectful.

>>17966861
Well he might have issues or he might not. But the point is it is really nice to have that peace of mind that there are no secrets between you and your partner and you can be open about anything. It makes it so you don't even want to snoop at their shit because you know there's already no reason to.

>>17966861
>I don't think I should be paying for what his past partners did to him
You're not. You just failed the test. That has nothing to do with his past partners. If any other guy threw that test at you, your reaction would still be weird.

Go date a dude who legitimately doesn't care, or who doesn't mind flirting with a bunch of people, or a cuck, etc. You'll be happier.

>>17966887
>if people don't play mindgames and set you up for some test to prove that you are worthy of their trust they must be cucks

Okay.

>>17966887
Cheaters are the most jealous bunch of fuckers ever. If a guy wants to go through your phone, he is most likely hiding something in his phone.

>>17966887
Only a mentally unstable, insecure control freak "tests" their SO. It's childish and unhealthy for the relationship.

If any other guy threw that "test" at someone, they should be dumped immediately or, if one is feeling generous, gotten told in no uncertain terms that it's unacceptable behavior.

>>17966886
But that peace of mind always needs to come from within. Who says she isn't cleaning up her accounts? Or using a different email address or phone to contact lovers? Sure it's less likely but not remotely impossible.

>>17966878
No I'm saying it's like shoving porn in people's faces.
>>17966882
Ok well like playing porno sounds in public. It extends elsewhere. You're being pedantic.
>>17966895
That's also true.
>>17966892
Girls do this all the time with more trivial issues. I don't know what you're complaining about.

>>17966886

I don't want to snoop anyway because i;m not pathetic and insecure. If my partner wants to cheat on me, that's fine, I can always find someone else, and I wouldn't want them to be with me if they're not happy anyway.

>>17966517
What are you hiding?

Do you maliciously shitpost on /pol/ or some shit?

>>17966905
>If my partner wants to cheat on me, that's fine, I can always find someone else, and I wouldn't want them to be with me if they're not happy anyway.
And how are you going to know he's cheating?

>>17966905
If my partner was cheating I wouldn't want to waste a second with them that I didn't need to. This is where having open access to stuff like this is useful. it has nothing to do with being pathetic or insecure. If someone is cheating on you how else are you going to know?

>>17966904
>Ok well like playing porno sounds in public.
Still not the same because you have to physically cover your ears to not hear that stuff and even that's imperfect. In case of a sight you can simply divert your eyes.

Not to mention a residential area is different anyway, you're also going to see fat old shirtless guys working in their yard who wouldn't even go into Walmart dressed like that. It is expected that you see more of people's personal lives in that setting than in the town center.

>You're being pedantic.
Okay, so if you argue that my analogy doesn't make sense then I'm just using a retarded analogy, if I do the same I'm just being pedantic? That's an easy way to argue I guess..

>>17966905
Except OP wants to cheat, be unhappy, and still keep her partner in the dark as she clings to him as a backup plan.

"I was watching a dumb girly movie and was embarrassed, then I let him see my phone later"

If it smells like bullshit it's because it probably is.

>>17966920
Why do you even assume they are going to cheat?

>>17966911

The relationship changes, they're less interested, less affectionate.

The fact that you need to have that sort of control betrays the fact that you're insecure and paranoid.

>>17966927
I'm not. I'm also not assuming they're not.

>>17966887
He explicitly told me he felt this way because of his past relationships and he was afraid I was going to be the same, which is understandable until the point he started to project it on me.

Despite the fights, i don't think our relationship was an unhappy one, I enjoyed spending my time with him and honestly he had been my oneitis so I was already in love with him by the time we began to grow closer together. Kek

>>17966852
>>17966925
>>17966904
Stil waiting for someone to weigh in on whether private diaries are allowed or an obvious sign of being a whore who's whoring around.

And if they are, what makes diary privacy legitimate when phone privacy is not?

>>17966931
You should assume they're not.

If someone promises you they are not going to cheat, and then do nothing to make you think they're cheating, then why assume they are?
Unless you have a reason to look through someone's phone, you shouldn't. Then if they're acting weirdly, you could ask if you could go through their phone. It doesn't seem to be the case.

>>17966938
When you can sext and send nudes through a diary get back to us.

Retard.

>>17966938
>And if they are, what makes diary privacy legitimate when phone privacy is not?

Easy. a diary is not a mode of outside communication. It's just where you keep your thoughts. A phone is a mode of communication with the people she's being a whore with.

I guess a bitch could be dumb enough to write down in her diary that she's cheating, but that would be some weapons grade stupid.

>>17966931
If someone isn't giving you any signs of being bored with the relationship, getting attention from someone else, having stories that don't line up and so on and so on... and they tell you they love you and want to be with you and you're in a monogamous relationship as agreed upon, yet you still don't "assume" that they don't cheat, then you don't trust your girlfriend whether you like how that sounds or not.

>>17966925
>Except OP wants to cheat, be unhappy, and still keep her partner in the dark as she clings to him as a backup plan.

Where did you get that from? Sounds to me like another one of your paranoid delusions.

>>17966941
No one promises not to cheat in the first place. And promises can be broken. You shouldn't assume anything you couldn't prove. I never said to assume they are. But you can't pretend the possibility doesn't exist, that's just fucking stupid.

Your boyfriend is controlling. You have every right to tell him to fuck off and have your own privacy.

>>17966929
That doesn't let you know they're cheating. How do you know for certain? You're just being like what you claim OP's boyfriend is like if you suspect: insecure, suspicious, etc.

>>17966938
see >>17966943 >>17966944

>>17966944
>Bitches are stupid dumb whorES!!!!! REEEE

This is why you don't take relationship advice from basement dwellers with mental problems.

>>17966951
You should never date.

If you can't be in a relationship with someone without constantly looking at everything they do through the lens of "are they cheating with me?" then all your relationships are doomed before they even begin.

>>17966943
You can delete sexts and nudes and you can detail infidelity in a diary. This is in no way conclusive.

>>17966944
Okay, fair starting point. But if her thoughts in her diary deserve to be private, why do the thoughts he can find in her emails and conversations need to be sacrificed for his check up?

There's no point in having a diary if you don't entrust it with whatever's eating you. Besides most people who own a serious, physical diary have it hidden away and never told anyone they keep one to begin with. Or they have one with a security system.

>>17966960
>once in a blue moon = constantly
>shit test = constantly

Wat.

>>17966958
Instead you'll choose believe this retardation:

>I freaked because I was listening to trashy chick music and felt bad because it was dumb to even react about it

>>17966964

No one ever brought up "freaking out", you're literally pulling that out of your ass.

>>17966951
You cannot prove you aren't doing something.
Unless you have a reason to think someone is cheating, you shouldn't assume they are. There is obviously a chance, but there is a chance my boyfriend rapes kittens in our garage when he says he is fixing the car. I'm not going to put surveillance webcams in our garage to find out.

>>17966961
>You can delete sexts and nudes
That's why it's a *random* shit test.

>>17966960
I don't. And I've been cheated on before. it's called being pragmatic and not an idiot with your head in the sand. I wouldn't even ask something like this from my boyfriend but I totally understand where OP's is coming from.

>>17966970
You realize there's apps that allow you to store photos and texts in "invisible" maps, or in password restricted areas, hidden as other files etc?

And if you're old school and delete it you might as well be thorough and do it right after you're done.

>>17966972

It's not pragmatic. You are actively eroding the trust and respect in your relationship by prying and being insecure.
In fact you will probably give them cause to leave you/cheat with your nauseating insecurity.

>>17966975
>innovation
Okay, thanks for telling me lol. It's sad you have to go to that extent to cheat.

>>17966986
Mate I don't even own a smartphone, I happened to read an article on all the different technology that is now involved in both prying/spying and hiding shit in this day and age.

>>17966991
Ok dude that's a royal *you*, I don't mean you specifically.

>>17966983
I don't pry and I'm not insecure. I don't ask my boyfriend for shit lol

>>17966970
I mean... most people sext on apps that erase history quickly.
I sext my boyfriend all the time and if you went through my phone right now you still wouldn't be able to tell.

File: CxLgv8qUkAAG2kn.jpg (56KB, 599x435px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 599x435px

I'd let my GF scroll through my text messages, I don't really care, I don't want her on my computer though because of my porn.

>>17966997
Oh, sorry then. Well I guess you don't necessarily have to, it's just for when you want to hold on to stuff you received.

The other way around is pretty extreme as well. You can easily turn a smartphone into a tapping device and install shit where you can even see every key they hit. So you can even see it if your partner wants to call his colleague babe and decides last minute that it's not a good idea.

>>17966986
What I read was much more in depth but to get a quick idea of why her showing him her phone will still need him to rely on trust...

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/cheaters-infidelity-mobile-apps-unfaithful-relationships-split-love-dating-smartphone-a7521556.html

Your boyfriend sounds insecure and controlling. Tell him to cut this shit out. People deserve privacy, even people within relationships. Do you read all his private emails, text messages, listen in to his phone calls, check his browsing history, etc. ? Of course not, because that would be psycho. That is how he is acting. Have a backbone and stand up for yourself. He is being an immature prick.

>>17966517
>>17966584
Honestly I think there are a few problems here. Yes, your boyfriend is projecting some of his past experiences on you, and he shouldn't be.

However, the fact that you
>freaked because you were listening to trashy chick music
and actively hid what you were doing from him would raise serious red flags in a lot of people if they didn't know what you were doing before then. I don't think it was a "test" like others seem to believe, but your actions really make you seem like you had something to hide. And to someone who had been cheated on before, it probably seems really close to his earlier experiences, too close for comfort.

>>17967052
You're right, this could be at least the middle ground he and I can settle. I fucked it up by sparking doubt with such menial shit.

Realistically speaking, is there hope to fix it? He has officially broken up and today I decided to finally let him have his space and stop seeking him out to beg him. I don't think there's anything left to do except wait.

>>17966517

Its not great behaviour especially if you havent done anything or havent done anything to warrant suspicion.

If you were a sketchy lieing bitch with men crowding your space and you acted like they were all just friends, id see his side and say yeah peoppe get crazy when theyre jealous, but its still not ok.

Id give him an ultimatum. Go to therapy and get his trust issues shorted or youre gone.

You're a couple - two people in a relationship. A healthy person has some privacy.

>>17966734
Wow. That's messed up. That isn't healthy at all that "professional" said that. There might come a time when you both just need to part ways as sad as that is.

>>17967382
Oh, it's was not a a psych that said that, sorry for the misunderstanding, he asked to one of his relatives about their opinion on privacy among couples and they told him that. Wish I could show him this thread so at least we can agree that both sides are justified to a point.

He is going to a professional soon though, at least it's what he assured me.

>>17967433
Ok I see what you mean. Good on you for sticking with him and seeing things through while he seeks out help. I wish you both well.

>>17967088
I'm not him, so I can't say. But if you want to fix things, then I'd suggest next time you talk to him you say something like, "I fucked up, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to hide my music from you. I see now how suspicious that must have looked. I'll understand if you don't want to be with me after that, but if you are willing to try to fix things let me know."

But if he thinks you were cheating then chances are he expects you to lie about it, so it's possible that anything you say he'll assume is a lie and it's possible that it's over and there isn't anything to do about it.

The insecurity in this thread in most posts is baffling. Completely confounds me.

You know what digging through someone's phone or personal communications gets you? Nothing but misinterpretation and more insecurity. Because context is completely lost on the reader that isn't involved in the conversation.

No woman will ever have access to my phone, and I won't have access to hers. We'll have our own space. And if that ever changes, she'll be immediately single.