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Is it normal to not know what you're feeling most of the time?
Whenever somebody asks "how are you?" Never in my life have I been able to know what to say. I've been to several types of counselling over a twenty year period, because this has caused problems before, and I still can't figure what I'm feeling at any given time.
It's been like this since I was a kid; as far as I can accurately recall. When it comes to identifying emotions in me, I always draw a blank, and I'm left with absolutely no idea of what it is. Whatever emotions I do feel, I honestly cannot tell them apart. And the only times I can identify emotions is in other people.
And here is the part that, no matter how simply, direct, and clear I try to explain it, everyone always has the same trouble comprehending it. That when I say I don't know what I'm feeling, if anything, that I pretty much never know most of the time -- I mean it as exactly that. I mean it in the purest, unadulterated sense. I really, truly, do not know I'm feeling, and almost never can. But that just invites arguments.
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Just say "Good" if someone asks how you are. That's almost always what they're expecting anyway.
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When someone asks "how are you?" they don't actually give a shit, it's just a greeting
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>>17964436
>Just say "Good" if someone asks how you are.
I could never bring myself to lie like that. Or give them an answer that's not exactly the fact of the matter. Puts me in a lot of physical pain for some reason.
>That's almost always what they're expecting anyway.
That seems insincere on both party's parts.
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>>17964436
Exactly. If you go into a long, honest answer about how everything might not be okay, you can immediately see an expression of "oh geez" on the person's face, even if they're trying to suppress it.
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>>17964444
Depends on where you are. In Muslim, they greet by asking how you are. Where for many second world cultures, asking somebody how they are without already knowing them first is disrespectful.
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Go for a safe bet:
"I've been better."
"I'm okay/I'm alright."
"Today is not my day."
"I've got a case of the Mondays."
The question "How are you?" may literally be close to "How do you feel?" like if you were to translate it, but it's not! It's largely impersonal. Don't overthink it too much. It's one of those small talk greetings.
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>>17964427
When I don't know how to describe my feelings I just say, "Another day in paradise."
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>>17964448
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>>17964427
You probably just have a poor sense of self, ask people to describe certain quirks and character traits you carry
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Firstly, you should know that - as other anons have alluded to - a lot of the time this question is basically just a ritualistic element of the greeting process. You can just say "OK, you?". It's not really a lie - you are alive, and capable of speaking to another human, so relatively speaking you can consider yourself OK.
Secondly, non-verbal communication is usually more important than the words. If you just say "OK" or "Good" all the time, (most) people will still be able to get a reasonably good idea of your state from your tone of voice, body language etc. This holds true even if you yourself are not able to evaluate your state in the same way.
I've had long periods in my life where I had similar difficulties with things like this. I think I just accepted it, and eventually things became different.
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