Part 1/2, (there is a TLDR in part 2) This has been nagging

Part 2/2:


Dont think about it more the whole night, continue to have a nice night, getting home way too late.
But today ever since i woke up, i've been thinking about it.
It nags me that i was so quickly to give up the struggle, even though it might have been the wisest decision.
Can't get the thought of me being a total beta pushover at the moment out of my head.
Really fucking pissed actually, if i could go back in time to the situation i would have stood my ground, or pushed him with more force.

How do i get these angry thoughts out of my head/deal with them, and do you guys have any comments on how i acted/how i could have handled it differently?


TLDR fag blocks me at some club's toilet section for talking spanish and acting as a foreigner, for some reason he wouldn't let that happen, me just being the absolute madman talking another language and enjoying myself doing it
so he asks me to give up the act, i eventually do and now i'm pissed at myself for doing it.

>>17960986
I used to have more of a personality like yours in terms of my fear of confrontation. How old are you?

As I've gotten older I've gotten a lot more confident. I'd recommend getting into better shape, it's a lot easier to be confident in confrontations like that if you aren't weak. If you're in alright shape something like martial arts/boxing will do more for your confidence than just lifting, but if you're really skinny, I'd try putting on some weight. People won't fuck with you as much either. Won't do much if you actually get in a fight, but you'll still be better off than before.

You will meet instigators like this in life. This is normal. At the end of the day you did not go to jail or a hospital. Move on.

>>17960997
I'm 21. I'm not super skinny but i could definitely benefit from getting just a bit more in shape, and i have thought of for this sole reason, being that people wouldn't mess with me as much

You did the smart thing. Start working out and eating to bulk up if you want to avoid people like this. Your anti-pushover attitude is an important beginning to your journey to confidence. Just remember not to act like an idiot for the sake of acting confident. You need to get strong though.

Me
>6'3", 250lbs
>Been training MMA since I was a teen
>Pretty solid skill and athletic level
>with that being said i had confrontations.
>i get queezy, irritable, jumpy, anxious, sweaty, heart races

Your not being a Beta when you back down. Its your bodies natural way of telling you "no reward for risk. Back down". Its actually a smart survival twitch in our brain. Every animal has it too. For instance when a badger or wolverine BACKS DOWN a bear or wolf its not because the wooverine can beat them...its because a wolverine is crazy and the bears brain says "hmmm...will i be willing to inflict wounds for a measly scrap of meat. 1) ill beat the wolverine but get injured in the process 2) i can walk away and ket the wolverine feel like a bigger wolverine...2) it is". Thats nature. Guys that are willing to fight at the drop of a hat over NOTHING, except for the sheer thrill or rage or as an ego thing are generally low IQ, low confidence retards.

I've had guys attempt to do shit to me in bars many times. I honestly could have wrecked every one of them...but why? To look in the mirror and go "you are a man...you fought a guy because he was a dick...you are the ultimate bad ass sir". Nawwww...i just laugh and say "you are tougher than prison brick sir...please dont hurt me" smile and back away. Let him feel like Mr. BIGSHOW.
But this guy was PHYSICALLY blocking your way. In this scenario id be conpletely honest and straight forward "look dude...you are infringing on my rights over something stupid. I dont want to fight, please back away from me" if he gets a kick out of it and keeps pestering you then go right ahead and say "...okay do you want to fight me? Lets go behind the club...no scene no bullshit." Hell either backdown or get amped up. If he gets amped up and heads outside just stay inside. Hell come back in 5 minutes later and cause a scene but the bouncers will take care of his dumb ass.

Now if a guy punches you or pushes you. You have every right to hithim

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>>17961079
That's a pretty good explanation, and it makes me understand the whole thing a bit better. It gives me a bit peace on my mind to know this.

But yes as i said, he was physically blocking the my way but like, should i have kept talking English and then have informed him about my rights? Because as you say it was a stupid reason for him to block my way, but still even though i avoided and eventual confrontation by changing to my mother tongue, it still nags me.
I keep going over the scenario again and again, and i really would have liked to have left the toilet, still "being in character" (this is beginning to sound stupid as hell) because to me, that would mean have meant that i really could stand up for myself, even if it was for something so outrageously stupid.
The main issue is still that i backed down so fast, but i guess as you say there was no reward to gain this time...

I'm a bit more at peace now, but it's still there. I think i'm going to give it a go and try to get bigger, it's been underway for the past years now.
Maybe it's time i do something about it.

>>17960982
>>17960986
Start lifting, gain muscles...that way you do what >>17961079 says, except if something actually does end up going down you're able to at least defend yourself and not end up looking like a pussy without looking like a dumbass wannabe tough guy either

>>17961140
Youll still get fucked with if you get bigger. Getting bigger. Getting tattos. Wearing 'tough guy' clothing...why? So some dink wont get in your shit and bother you? People will still fuck with you. Your body is important but your mind is what will get you out of trouble. You can always persuade people into doing something else. You can even play dumb. Crack jokes. You could have even lightwned the mood by laughing and patting him on the shoulder and said "wait wait this isnt a door. Where is the door?" Or in a spanish accent...pat him..."is this the wall donald trump is talking about...me no like me no like". Hed probably want to drink with you after because youre a fun guy. Its hard for guys to stay mad at a guy they like.

If you must do anything as far as confidence goes...train...lift all you want but lifting isnt fighting. To be a good fighter you need skill, cunning, SPEED, flexibility, endurance, cardio. You cant get that from pushing weights around. You cant even get that from doing martial arts for a little bit. You have to train in 2 martial arts 2-3 times a week regularaly and spar + grapple. Id also advise competiting in tournaments to really go FULL BORE and see what your skills are like. This is where the real tough guys are. These big bar retards looking for trouble are mere piss stains on the jock straps of competitors. If you go forth with this youll have a huge confidence boost. A new fun hobby. Rxcellent shape. And in 6-10 years you could even coach and train guys for $$.

Cheers big ears

>>17961079
Very well put

I would also add that the agressor was a coward for waiting to corner you in the most vulnerable place (the bathroom)
Instead of outside.