How do you learn to love yourself /adv/? Especially when you

>>17954134

By becoming someone you can love. Some do this earlier on in life and are more satisfied, but it's never too late really. Make a concrete list of what your ideal self would be like and then step by step work up to that person.

>>17954134

Why do you hate yourself?

I don't even get how it's possible for somebody to hate themselves

I have almost no friends
I live at my moms house
I have a mental illness

And even I don't hate myself
The fuck you gotta do to hate yourself? Rape somebody and regret doing it later? Like fuck I never got this

>>17954197
>The fuck you gotta do to hate yourself?

Usually it's because people hold themselves to a standard they think they can't meet. Look up the "Super Ego" to get a better hold of the concept.

You don't have to be actually "bad", just "bad enough" for your own views.

>>17954197
Not op, but I can relate. I think I am a horrible and stupid person, but I am trying to change, but sometimes it feels useless
>have zero friends because I chose an abusive relationship over them
>made a lot of mistakes when I was younger that I hate myself for
>can't find a stable job because my skills are never good enough, even though I try to brush up on them daily
I am looking into therapy, but I wonder if the therapist will tell me I'm just being a retarded fag and to get the fuck out

>>17954220
>but I wonder if the therapist will tell me I'm just being a retarded fag and to get the fuck out

That's not how therapy works.

>>17954134
When I was in rehab they told us to build self-esteem by doing esteemable acts. Being of service, doing for others without expecting anything back, helping those in need (in particular other addicts). It sounded pretty nice.

I promptly left and slammed dope

>>17954232
that's stupid. I used heroin for years when I was young when I finally decided to get clean I did it for myself not to help anyone else. I just moved to a new area and stopped using. it wasn't very hard at all. I'm married now with kids and a job. you should do acts that better your own life, fuck other random drugies hanging around them trying to help them is only going to drag you back into the same old shit.

>>17954134

what do you hate about yourself?

>>17954258

are those things you DID or things you DO?

>>17954260

If those are things you DID why can't you forgive oyurself for them and move on?

If they are things you do, do you hate that you do them or hate that you LIKE to do them?

>>17954252
>when I finally decided to get clean I did it for myself not to help anyone else.

That's not what Anon is saying. He said helping other builds self esteem, not to get clean for others.

> it wasn't very hard at all.

Don't be like that. Kicking off addiction can be really hard. Maybe you weren't an addict, or maybe you really moved on from addiction easily. Congratulations. But it's problem that affects thousands of people worldwide, so don't say its "easy". That makes me think you never saw an addict in your life.

>>17954261

if you hate that you do them, and dont like them, then why do you do them?

and if you hate that you like to them, is it because OTHERS don't like it, and if not others, why do you hate that you like to do them?

>>17954262
iv used every drug out there besides meth. it's a lot easier then people act like to get clean. people are just weak and like the life style of being a junky. they don't want to be responsible for there actions and blaming the addiction as an incurable disease that no one can beat lets them off the hook for all the situation things they do. I did dope almost daily for years but I never stole or riped anyone off to get it. people are just shitty and like to pretend drugs are the cause. the way we baby and give addicts so much exceptinse and attention for there problems only encourages them to keep repeating the cycle. like i know kids I used with who have been through rehab like 10 times but still use. you can tell they just like that all the attention is on them and if they "relapse" it's not there fault.

>>17954283

Maybe you never interacted with an addict and just like to feel smug. Maybe you had an addict in your life and this is your way to punish their memory.

Or maybe, you are telling the truth and this hatred towards other addicts help you deal with your own addiction. Whatever the case may be, this thread is not about you. I shouldn't have engaged you. I'll just say, you are being an asshole. Hope you never interact with an addict. Good luck and good life.

>>17954299
this is some of the stupidest shit iv ever read. you are referring to drug users like they are some protected class that needs sheltered from anyone who might hold them accountable for there actions. this whole special snowflake protect me mind set is so worped. I never said the thread was about myself, I simply disagreed with someone in that helping others doesn't equal self worth. that working to help yourself and better your own life is a more effective way to love one's self. so funny who you've got that I'm so better then you attitude yet your the one being hatful and insulting. it's funny you have such a need to defend people who are literally worthless to society and don't even want to help themselves but only drag down anyone who cares for them. maybe your an user yourself and just want justification for your weakness and inability to build a better life. maybe your just an liberal who thinks everyone is special and important. either way people like you are the problem.

>>17954348
>this is some of the stupidest shit iv ever read. you are referring to drug users like they are some protected class that needs sheltered from anyone who might hold them accountable for there actions.

Don't need to read more to know you are wrong. My issue is you saying it's so "easy". I never said they had no responsibility. you are projecting very hard on this one.

Again, if you knew addicts you'd know it's very important to make them feel responsible for their situation. But you'd also know the change isn't overnight.

>>17954355
once again this babying coddling mind set. it's easy you just stop, you want to stop you mean it and you quit. you keep saying "addict" like it's some special thing or class of people. the way you use language says it all. they are a drug user, I was a drug user, everyone tries to sugar coat it. just the way your wording things is diverting responsibility. the way most of America thinks about drug use is so glorified and excepted. the way they want you to "take responsibility to heal" is by pating yourself on the back like somehow having gone through being a drugie makes you a better person like it's a badge of honor or some shit. the way your talking about this is so brain washed and PC perfect it's sad.

>>17954283
I really don't think you know what you're talking about

>>17954369
you can choose to stay a sheep it's OK. it's scary in a world where you actually have to see people for how they really are. it's OK that you want your sheltered safe space outlook bubble to not be poped

5'3"-5'4" guy here

i think hate for my own height fucked me up so bad even my friends have told me i need therapy

Wjtbess the suffering of others, it'll give some perspective.