Hello /adv/, this is a question about a relationship I have

>>17954078
During this night, however, she went all out on sitting next to the guy, joking, laughing, literally ignored me when I asked her if there was a chance that we are going to bed anytime soon at around 3 am.
She replied some cheeky shit when I told her that I am really tired and eventually I ordered a cab and got the fuck out of there.
Not my proudest moment but I was feeling really shit in the entire situation and could not behave in the most adult way there.
Next time she came to my place, apologized cryingly, we talked about it, the whole texting behind my back, and so on.
We eventually continued the relationship and that guy wasn't a topic for a longer time.
Around a year later an actual breakup happened. She had just joined some work (rescue stuff, driving a car mostly) where she was hella busy, at the same time she did a lot with friends so we ended up seeing each other 1 of 14 days.
I told her that this won't work out if it stays this way because I cannot maintain a meaningful relationship with someone is see that rarely and I am not interested in anything other than a serious relationship.
We eventually worked up to seeing each other more often again, we planned the time better and from my impression we both were happy.
Last Friday however (around 2 or maybe 3 months after the talk) we had another talk - she said she was unhappy with the situation. My guess is that she found it too stressing to meet up to the requirements I had for how often we see each other, text, etc. We broke up on her terms.

>>17954080
Now, one week later, she came up to me again and said that she fixed some things in her life that made her unhappy. She wants to retry having the relationship with me because, looking back, she was actually happy with me and she misses me a lot.
She changed job and is now with some fire service stuff.
I am willing to give it a try because there is so much work in this relationship and I have done so much emotional bonding with her that I find it hard to throw it away.
I told her we are going to have lunch tomorrow where we talk things out.

Now, I know that the guy that was a problem earlier in the relationship also works fire service. I strongly suspect that he raised the interest in that job for her. Because she didn't ever mention it before.
According to one of her closest friends she also spend some time with that guy the last week (call me naive, but I am 99.99% sure that they did not bang. Neither he nor she is the type for that. I know, hard to believe).
She actually showed me a text from her close friend where she was being called out for being rude to that guy. According to her friend this guy was still interested in her.

I will ask her about this guy tomorrow. I will ask her if she is going to work with him and I am going to ask her, what she thinks about this whole situation.
I wonder, what do you guys think about the situation? What if it turns out that she actually will be working with him?
I don't mean to say that she is morally wrong if she did, but I think that I could deal with it. I wouldn't like it, it would bother me and it would be a topic.

Thanks to anyone that made it to this point. If you need anything for clarification, go ahead.

Quite a pickle you have here mate,
can't really give out any solid advice honestly since I don't know either of you and personally I feel like this is the worst place to ask for advice because there's just so much more to these matters than you can sum up in a few post.

And the way you described this person, I wouldn't really put too much trust in her.
That said I wish you the best and to find a happy resolution.
Have a bump.

If you date her again, do you think you can trust her?

>>17954102
Well thanks for reading and your reply mate.

I don't quite know where else to ask, to be honest.
I talk to my older sister about it, she is a very intelligent Person and also already has quite some experience herself.
However i would just like to get more Input, maybe from people were in a similar Situation.

I would like to Point out that the girl is actually not a bitch. She is far from it, she barely had sexual partner so far, she is a little chubby which brings her way more to the down-to-earth type and i strongly believe that she did not do anything ever, not even in the week "break" we had.

I feel like I trusted her at any point in the relationship when it comes to cheating.
I never suspected her of cheating with whoever.

The problem I always see is: When my partner has intense contact with other males, say at work and then continued by text, I feel like they always lose a great deal of their attention for me.
They become less considerate, they want to spend less time with me and more time with others, they generally become less loving and so on.

And I don't like that. I just don't. I don't do it with other girls and I expect my partner to do the same.

This doesn't mean that I wouldn't allow her to spend time with her friends. I totally don't mind her going out with friends every other weekend. It's okay.

But if her spending time every day at work with this guy and i then feel like the whole relationship shifts off again, then I will be in a sate where i cannot live with her.
I would feel like shit every day and eventually I would have to make a move.

>>17954141
meant for
>>17954108

>>17954141
Maybe not cheating but all this interaction with a guy she asked out once was really disrespectful IMO. Specially that time she spoke badly about you. You have more context than us of course but it sounds like a bad idea to me. Did she ever apologize or acknowledge that those things hurt you? (Sorry if it's in the text but it's too long to reread it)

>>17954184
You remember the part where i took a cab home and she came to me the next day?

She apologized at that occasion too. She said that she simply sees him as "neutral" friend that can thus give her a neutral opinion on things that bother her.
I remember that he always responded very short-cut. It's apparent that he is a decent guy and always stood well reserved because he knew she is in a relationship.

That is probably the main reason why I stopped being bothered of those two texting. They also barely spent time anymore.

The whole thing is so complex, it's insane. I have so many thoughts and there are so many of them that i evaulate all the time.
I always wonder if i am allowed to feel the things that i do. Or if i have self awareness problems that make me feel jealous or scared of loss.

I bet there are many guys out there that dont give two shits if their girl Chats up guys all the time.
And i wonder why they can and i cannot.

>>17954219
See, even he knows it's not right. I don't think you're being unreasonable, all of this would bother me too. We're talking about someone she asked out, not some friendship that was always platonic. Even if she doesn't see him that way, she doesn't seem to consider how that makes you feel.