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I have had negative experience with girls throughout my preteen and teen years so I have no confidence around them. I'm still attracted to them and want love but I can't see myself ever having a gf. The problem is I started fapping to gay porn(stories and straight bj vids , audio m4m and discords) recently. For the past couple of years it was the occasional trap and shemale. I'm not blaming it on 4chan but it did "awaken" a thirst so to speak.
I think what's happening is that I know that it's much more easier just to find a sexual partners with men than with women. I've never had a gf so I'm khv. And starting to prefer the thought of having sex with a man because it's much more realistic. And that I'm just setting myself up for disappointment to fap to straight porn.
The idea of hooking up is becoming more ... acceptable to me. The sub Dom aspect of the act. But I'm not at all (except for cock when I'm horny) attracted to males. I'm certain of it. I don't pretend I'm straight but I don't think im bi if I can't see a relationship with a dude and not attracted to masculine features. I am into femdom. But its more realistic than a gf and I could pretend.
It's either stay a virgin, get an escort(I find them a rip off tho) or grindr. I fear that if I go the grindr route it will be a life of promiscuity , aids and guilt. If I go the escort route I'll be broke. And I'll kms eventually if I stay a virgin.
It's not the social stigma it's just idk. Just the thought of being single for the rest of my life depresses the fuck outta me. I can't lie to myself anymore. I've been watching asmr roleplay vids and listening to audio of girls saying they love me.
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>>17953667
first and foremost, please post a picture of yourself. why? cuz it will help us tell you if you're just over thinking things because of patterns from when you were younge.r
dont wnat to post? fine, but at least email me your pic at
[email protected] so i can properly assess you.
becuase otherwise i can only type out five possible different responses and i just dont have the time for that today.
all this being said, you are bi. rationalize it all you want, you can claim its not about stigma, but it is. every 'straight' guy i ever had sex or dated claimed they weren't REALLY gay and it was because of reasons similar to yours. they were gay. they just couldn't appreciate it, they couldnt ADMIT that they attraction to masculine features was there because in their mind the concept of being 'gay' the culture, the stereotype, is more threatening than just the idea of sex with men.
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>>17953667
Go to third-world countries for your escorts. Don't worry, in the end, sex drive is the most basic, animalistic thing in the world and doesn't make who you are as a human being with a soul. If you want to go get some action with some men, then go for it. The Ancient Greeks philosophized a lot and concluded that everyone should be bi, right? Don't worry about too much, just stay away from children. Don't even look at other people's kids.
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>>17953688
>Go to third-world countries for your escorts.
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>>17953683
what the fuck man? ....
thirsty for sissy
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>>17953683
>>17953688
>bi
The dude is not bi, just real fucking desperate.
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>>17953667
OP that sucks
I'm sorry you had to go through all this stuff
I would recommend therapy if you can afford it
Therapists are great at helping people work through sexual confusion
Make sure to get a good therapist though
Some therapists are shitty
I would try sleeping with an escort just once, and seeing if you enjoy it or if its something that awakens any confidence in you
And I would maybe recommend trying grindr once too, for the same reasons
Don't afraid to try new things. Give yourself time to figure out what you like and what you need
I believe in you OP
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>>17954718
>And I would maybe recommend trying grindr once too, for the same reasons
I wouldn't, there's been several threads like these, where an anon tries it and ends up regretting it.
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