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There any chance of fixing this? 1/4 > Had first date of

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There any chance of fixing this?

1/4
> Had first date of my life with a girl few nights before this that went extremely well. It was the first date of my life. And I can’t remember being so happy in YEARS
> had completely forgotten what it felt like to not be alone
> 2 nights later she messages me and she wants to hang out
> butterflies.exe
> get ready
> shave multiple places
> style hair the way she said looks good
> put on shirt she'd like
> start driving the 17 miles to get there
> stop by gas station on way there to get condoms (because last time she said i should've had some)
> might actually lose v card
> get there around 11:30pm
> only have her on snap and She's not answered my last snap about me saying I'm on my way
> call her on snap multiple times
> never picks up
> said she was drinking before w/cousin, maybe she's ko?
> small apartment building in ghetto area so is fenced off with number pad entry
> last time we hung out she'd only given me the address to get building, and not the app #
> in disbelief i drove all this way for nothing
Wait for what feels like minutes out in the cold drizzle calling her periodically trying to figure out what to do, meanwhile calling best friend about the situation, says he’d be fucking pissed, but i just feel utterly shit, as one does when you’re stood up
> see guy coming down stairs
> he throws out trash & lets me in
> lives on 3rd floor and doesn't m know her
> sit in hallway of 2nd floor
> do math, only 24 apartments in whole building
> it'd be funny if i knocked on a random door & it was hers
> hear loud music from room 205
> knock on door to see if person inside might know which apartment # is hers
> he says yeah...he's her room m8
> let me call her
cont.
>>
>>17947737
2/4
> she answers, he says some things kind of angrily to her in spanish, then gives the phone to me
> “wtf are you doing at my house?” Can hear she's in a loud car with music
> “You said to hang out, so when you didn't answer I went inside to see if you were there”
>”you crossed a line. This is not good”
>”what do you mean? I don't understand”
>”you need to go home, now”
>”what does this mean for us?”
>”not good. You need to go home”
> hands phone back to room m8
> start shaking
> “I don’t understand what I did wrong” I say
> “I gave her one rule, and that was, she’d not to invite any guys to my apartment”
> “I had no idea”
> “has there been any other guys over?” he says
> “I sure hope not” I kinda laugh nervously as i stand there shaking in fear that i’ve just ruined everything
> “have you been here before?”
> “no not at all, never been inside before”
> “how do you know her”
> “went on the first date of my life with her 2 nights ago”
> “how old are you?”
> “19” (she’s 24)
> ”she’s got ‘em young”
> don’t say anything
> “You seem pretty scared, there’s no need to be scared, you seem like a nice guy, why don’t you come in and wait till she gets home, so you can talk to her in person”
> “you sure?”
> “yeah man it’ll be much better than you going home then her never answering your messages again, it’ll at least give you a chance to stand up for yourself”
> walk back upstairs into his apartment
> “you can chill here till she gets back we got netflix and stuff”
> thank him
> “so tell me about what happened”
> tell him what happened
> “yeah dude! She messaged YOU to hang out, when you confront her make sure you use that! I mean I’d probably do the same thing”
Cont.
>>
3/4
> for the next hour and a half we get to know each other quite well, he tells me about himself, we discuss girls, he’s the boyfriend of my date’s cousin, they’re like sisters
> knowing both of them well we agree on why we like them so much
> their quirks and stuff
> “she doesn’t ask for much, she just wants a guy to settle down with and not cheat on her”
> “that’s who I want to be for her”
> talk music and bond like bros
> even offers me a construction job
> hers her trying to enter the the password on the keypad entry form a floor below outside fumbling & messing up because she’s drunk
> “stand behind me when I open the door”
> I do
> she comes in, sees me
> “what are you doing in my house?”
> “you said you wanted to hang out so-”
> “you need to go home”
> “no, no ‘til I say what i have to say”
> “ok well then can you get out of my house and we can discuss this elsewhere”
> she, in an escorting me out kind of way, brings me down the hall, down the stairs, out the door, beyond the gate and to the corner, before she stops and says “you need to go home, you crossed a line”
> “what line?”
> “I broke the one rule, that I’m not allowed guys over, and now he’s pissed”
> “he didn't seem pissed, he quite liked me actually”
> She cuts my sentence short “Well you Don’t know him like I do, now you need to go home”
> “no, hang on, How was I supposed to follow a rule I didn’t know existed?” I say in a stern but slightly elevated voice in attempt to prevent her from cutting me off as she kept trying to do
> “last time, I said ‘don’t walk me home.’”
> “That doesn’t mean ‘i’m not allowed at your apartment’”
> “um yeah it does, now we’re done talking”
Cont.
>>
>>17947748
4/4
> “No, let me say what I have to say. I got ready, styled my hair in the way YOU liked, filled up my gas tank to drive 17 miles to come hang out with YOU because I wanted to hang out with you. You didn't answer your phone so I went to the only place I knew, and I waited for a half hour what else was I supposed to do?”
Cont.
> “Don’t raise your voice at me. I didn’t answer my phone because was drunk, so, you go home” she said matter of factly
> “We’re not talking anymore” she adds
> “I told myself after our date ‘Anon, DON’T FUCK THIS UP, because she’s pretty and amazing and I want to get to know her better’ and I fucked up because I broke a rule I had NO IDEA existed?.”
> “you need to lower your voice and you need to go home. We’re never speaking again, It was nice knowing you.”
> “If that’s how you really want it to be, fine.”
> she starts to walk away briskly and stops at her gate to put in the code
> “you have a nice night. I mean that.” I say in a sincere manner
> get walk to my car, start to hyperventilate and call my best friend back as best I could as I was having an anxiety attack, then when he answers I tell him what happened, wen end up talking for the entire drive home and for about 4 hours after I get home, taking my said and saying how I was in the right and she’s in the wrong and she’s the one who needs to apologize

> wake up this morning, and she’s unadded me on snapchat
> type this green text
>>
What the fuck is wrong with her? What a stupid fucking cunt. I would have gave her a slap
>>
so IS there any way of fixing this? anyone?
>>
>>17947869
No, she told you its over.

Just let it go and never contact her again. She sounds like a dumb whore anyway.
>>
Nah, dude. I know it's hard, and hard to think you'll find someone else, but have faith. Something sketchy was up with her, something that you wouldn't want to deal with long term.
>>
>>17947754
>I got ready, styled my hair in the way YOU liked, filled up my gas tank to drive 17 miles to come hang out with YOU because I wanted to hang out with you. You didn't answer your phone so I went to the only place I knew, and I waited for a half hour what else was I supposed to do?

I feel bad for you kiddo, you're a stage 5 clinger
>>
You did good standing your ground like you did, OP. Especially given your reaction during the incident. You were reasonable; not abusive, nor a pushover - in this scenario where you were being treated irrationally. This is how a dude should be.

Im curious though - how did she mention hanging out? Did she just say, "we should hang out sometime", or did she specifically invite you over? What did she say?
>>
>>17947973
she messaged me out of the blue and I asked if she wanted to hang out
she said yeah!
so i said, right, i'll be over asap, just gotta finish a few things around the house the I'll be on my way
and she said "yay"
>>
>>17947737
>Wait for what feels like minutes out in the cold drizzle

>>*Wait for what feels like 15-20 minutes out in the cold drizzle
>>
dude i know you may feel desperate because you said you have not had a girlfriend before now but you will later in life. leave this bitch alone. i promise you she will string you along and leave you feeling much worse by the end of it
>>
>>17947963
idk m8, I've been alone virtually all 19, nearly 20 years of my life
fuck me for wanting to keep the person around who was finally changing that
>>
>>17948059
Ok.
Thanks m8
>>
>>17947737
>2 nights later she messages me and she wants to hang out
did she actually specify where and when, or just vaguely "let's hang out"?
It's your fault if you just went without telling her a day in advance
>>
think progressive mate, if the bitch is able to pull this unreasonably chaotic feat before you even got together, she is DEFINITELY not worth pursuing as this is a HUGE red flag, you handled it well mate, It's not you It's her, again, you handled it well so don't think you gotta change in some way, accept that it happened and do not contact the crazy bitch.
>>
>>17947963
What he did wasn't unreasonable. At all really, I mean he was nicer than most since he didn't just leave and ignore her.

>>17947973
This, fuck the bitch
>>
>24
>roommates with a guy
>makes plans and then bails because "lol im so wasted xD"
>can't have guys over to her apartment because hurp durp

You did good standing up for yourself OP. Learn from this experience and move on. She sounds shit tier anyway. Go meet a woman that's worth a shit. Think of this dumb bitch as practice for dating someone that isn't human garbage
>>
>>17947869
Why would you want to fix this? There isn't even anything to fix.
>>
>>17947869
No. If you could only contact her on snapchat and she blocked you, you're pretty well fucked. She sounds like a cunt anyway, just move on

also conversing only through snapchat is fucking gay. I feel sorry for younger guys these days having to use dumb ass shit like snapchat and instagram to bang these dumb sluts
>>
I know where you are coming from but know this: She seems troubled and most likely won't make you happy but miserable in the long run.
>>
If she had your number, she'd probably just have it listed under "Free Food." Puta was just using you. Then you became inconvenient and she kicked you out.

You might want to stay in contact with the roommate. He seems like a chill guy. Send him a letter some time thanking him for being awesome to you.
>>
social media is cancer and you should atleast have her fucking number before doing anything
>>
>>17948060
Congrats man, you've gahtered your first experience points in dating. Next time will be easier for you.
I was 19 too when I got my first serious date. Went on a few dates afterwards with her and fell in love with her so fast because I felt it was special. It wasn't to her.

You do the mistake many young men make. You had big expectations. Be prepared for anything (you got the condoms, shaved, dressed right, so you got that part right) but don't go in with big expectations. Next time ask for a fixed time she wants to meet. Next time just fuck off if she acts like such a bitch.
>>
Nothing to fix, OP, move on.

I'm a femanon and I'm confused by several things here. Why can't she have guys over? Why did she invite you out without telling you where to meet? You probably should have just left though.
>>
>>17947737
On the bright side, it's easier to move on if you haven't really dated her. Sure, it's hurtful to think about what could have been without any chance to experience it but believe me it is a bunch more hurtful if you come together with someone and lose him or her after a while of dating while being in love and not just interested.
>>
>>17948025

I see. Did you guys organize where you were supposed to hang? Like, I would expect the next message to be from you saying, "Ok I'm ready; where do you went to meet up?"
>>
cuck

this "dating" system you americans have is fucking retarded
also how do you just have someone's snapchat and expect to communicate

smartpones were a mistake
>>
>>17949224
>>17950382
True. I was just so excited I didn't think it all the way through.
Thought be the time I'd gotten there she'd have replied & said where to meet up
>>
>>17950422

So that's the big mistake here - As far as she was concerned, the plans hadn't been solidified due to the place of meet-up not being confirmed. It's clear from what you've said, that if the plans *were* finalized, then she would have made sure that the meet-up location would sure as hell not have been her place [due to whatever behind-the-scenes circumstances she had in her life].

So in her mind, no plans had actually been made to meet up. This is why she was confused at you [from her point of view, 'suddenly'] showing up at her doorstep...


So I hate to say this buddy, but this means that the mistake in this whole situation was made by you.


I'm inclined to say that she shouldn't have been so rude in getting you out of there, but who knows, maybe she was acting especially angry to communicate to her roommate that you coming to their place was *not* her idea.


I've been in a similar situation to you and have made the same sort of mistake, and had it blow up in my face. It happens when you're too eager and don't think things through.

What you should learn from this situation is two things: 1. This proves that you're a decent dude that girls will want to date; 2. You just have some learning to do when it comes to little social protocol, and dynamics, etc.

It's understandable; don't sweat it. The way to proceed is to try your best to move on from her, keep interacting with people (platonic and otherwise), and get out there and find someone else. :)
Thread posts: 31
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