How do you love someone?
>she's been in my life for 2.5 years now
>she's been in love with me since the beginning
>I've always been adamant I didn't feel the same
>long story short yadda yadda etc we're in a relationship now, just a month in
>I can tell she knows, that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me
>I care about her deeply, more than as a friend but I worry constantly whether she's the girl I can marry and if I even love her
>I know there's no such thing as a moment where I "realize" I love her, but I've had many moments where I realize I don't
>yet I tried to break up with her a few months ago (in person) and I couldn't even go through with it, I broke down crying to see her so hurt
>she also tried to break up with me after I told her about my complicated feelings
>that conversation was basically an ultimatum for me to tell her I love her, and I said I did because I couldn't bear to lose her
>now we're on "I love you" basis, but I dread whenever she says it because I have to say it back, and I can't get out of my mind that I'm wronging her
There's a lot of positives, of course, but I feel like I should just present the harsh facts to not skew anything.
Just break up with her. Better now than 4 years in when she feels safe and happy.
It will hurt her yes better that than wasting her youth on a guy who "doesn't know".
be careful how you play this out anon. know thyself the latins(?) used to say before they got BTFO
jokes aside.I was in your exact situation word by word 3 months ago. first girl i ever loved. thing is i didn't think that i loved her. she eventually noticed bit by bit that the love on my end just wasn't there and so after trying everything to win my, she eventually just walked away.
after we ended, only then had I come to realise my love for her and deep it ran. how I will never in a thousands years find some like that. who made her happiness my happiness. who would spend thousands at my feet. literally. by then it was too late and the damage had been done
so I am telling you to be careful. am not telling you live with someone you dont love. but that men are often out of touch with their feelings. i learnt that the heard way.
>>17944359
But at the same time, I can't bear to lose her from my life. I guess I'd be okay eventually, but she means so much to me. I was such an idiot to not realize it so much sooner.
>>17944384
But how am I supposed to know? There's no such thing as a moment of clarity, not if it hasn't happened in two years.
>>17944403
things is poor anony. you will eventually lose her if you keep to this path thinking you want to spare her feelings.
behaviour reveals that which the soul thinks it has hidden. she is a huamn being too not dumb. and if she falls out a love with you eventually it will be much worse than you are hoping to spare her from.
I really dont how you can know. ask yourself if there are people with better qualities, virtues and values that you would rather be with. dont be fooled with same hobbies and music taste as i was. yes they matter but only at first. you having been with her for years erases that because you are allot more intimate with her now than two strangers who share a hobby could be at the time of meeting.
i really hope you dont much this up mate. she will propably hate you.
>>17944338
This.
Women need two things: security and having their emotional needs met.
It seems you're meeting her emotional nerds, especially with the frequent "I luh yew!!!!!"'s... The more secure you make her feel the harder it will become down the line to break up with her in the future....
Haha...nerds.... needs*!!