girls, can you help me out pls? i have a hard time reaching

>>17940233
>i have a hard time reaching orgasm, especially if my bf tries to get me off.
Not a guaranteed fix, but based on what you describe, you may be focusing on the goal and trying too hard.
Try making pleasure the goal, instead of orgasm.
If you're really really enjoying yourself, you'll either have an orgasm or a good time. That's at least a good starting place.

>>17940311
not trying to sound rude but i have worked on the mental part of reaching orgasm for years and i think i have reached the limits of the possible there. i'm really starting to believe this is a physical problem and not a mental one.

>>17940322
If you believe the cause is a lack of stimulation to the clitoris, use some tools to improve stimulation. Maybe drugs. Some of that tingly lube. Toys.

If you've done everything possible mentally, the only thing left is to change the physical.

Are you actually here looking for advice, or do you just want to poll 'women' about their bodies and sexual habits? Not trying to be rude. But knowing how often other women get off, based on their clit size, won't really help you get off. You're not going to remove your challenge by nodding to a statistic or norm, nor by feeling vindicated. Know that whatever your situation, it's normal. You're not defective, even if you are physically not average.

So focus on what works and nurture that. What has brought you to orgasm in the past, most reliably?

I am male and had a gf like this. I just had to drop the fuck like rabbits mentality and if it feels good keep it up. Wasnt even about speed and force. After a while she started having g-spot orgasms while licking the clit at a pace opposite of what porn kept telling me got the job done. Good luck. Also while he has a finger inside you tell him to pull down so you stretch towards your anus instead of horizontal stretching. During intercourse i have no idea why this was effective but she would be laying down on her stomach, i would have to push her hips down hard into the bed while i thrusted my the entire length at slower speeds than i was accustomed to. Still was not 100% effective but at the end of it we both had fun.

>>17940383
i just want to know if it might be related since it would take a huge burden off of me. so far i always tought i'm somehow broken mentally and need tog et over some blockade.

but you're right, it won't change the size of my clit. i also hoped that some fllow girls with small clits might have some good tipps for me.

yes, i have toys and all that shabang. i CAN orgasm. it's just very faint and needs a lot of very specific stimulation.

most reliable is when i lay on my stomach and place my fingers directly on my glit and then rub against it.

>>17940414
oh, thanks anon! that might be very helpfull! got any more tipps?

how did you do that with the licking and g-spot orgasms?

i will definitely try the things you mentioned next time my bf is over

>>17940458
My gf at the time had no reason to ever fake it. So after being together about a month there were noticeable differences in breathing and she would tense up. Even then it wasnt overnight orgasms but more patience paid off. Maybe after like 3 days of her almost cumming and telling me it still felt nice she later started letting out bellowing exhales that she tried to hold back or keep quiet, her whole body eased up and she confirmed with " yup i came!" Then pounced me. Sex literally never got stale the whole 3 years+ i was with her. While the guy is in there there are tiny signals to look out for its hard to explain and they are different for each girl.

>>17940719
how do i get my bf to pay as much attention to details as you did?
he's very sweet and caring and he really makes an effort to try and get me off. but as you said, he probably has watched too much porn and now has assumtions about how "girls and sex work". i wish i could erase porn from his (and my) mind so we could start from scratch and find out just what we need instead of what we think we need.

>>17940233
You're not turned on him.

I bet you wouldn't have this problem with Chad Thundercock

>>17940748
oh my... it has begun

Also its not all about the clit. Have his tungue penetrate a little or a lot and have him slip it all the way up and all the way down the inside labia real slow like a massage. Also he can use his two thumbs to spread the vagoo from the outside and there are some sweet spots to massage in circles with your thumbs that spread the lips and feels nice on the inner thighs while licking whatever. You gotta be committed to exploration and being explored. But dont just have him there wandering, whatever you want him to keep doing let him know and grab his hair or just let out an "ooouooo". You should also make sure to do the exact same thing for him constantly look for new sweet spots anywhere or try some new flicks of the tungue or kisses etc

>>17940757
exactly what i want him to do. i asked him to be a bit more explorstive and playfull but i guess he's a bit too anxious to stray from the stuff he already knows. how can i easy him up a bit and get him to enjoy being inventive?
he actually loves touching and licking my pussy, so that's not the problem. he's just a bit stagnated in his approach.
i do what you described to him. and it's really helpfull. but somehow he can't get over himself and do the same with me

>>17940752
You wouldn't have this problem. I know your lady brain doesn't want to admit it

>>17940735
It depends on the environment. To be honest i would not have done all that for her if she wasnt always down for a little wrestling or playful games. Stress the play in your foreplay. Even chick flicks are guilty of telling people foreplay is a couple quick quips and a stare, for me its always been something fun and physical, even if its light tickling ( not the rib crushing gasping for air fail tickle). We should review what is foreplay between you two. For all you know there might just be something really kinky that gets your juices flowing like him sucking on your toes for example, even that gets complicated and calls for more exploration because some girls like the big toe sucked, some girls the lil one, some girls want to see how much foot you can fit in your mouth. Could be something less kinky like a foot massage, those charts at the chinese massage parlors do not lie.

>>17940233

3 things really.

1) Being able to orgasm on your own is often necessary before being able to do it with someone else, so maybe start there.

2) Some find it easiest to cum with only clitoral stimulation, some only g-spot stimulation, others only vaginal stimulation. Explore all three methods in depth.

3) Size of clit does not matter for stimulation. The only time you will ever see a clit in porn is if it abnormally large, honestly. I have seen them of all sizes, big and small, and it never made any measurable difference.

>>17940233
Sex research is woefully new. There have been theories about it being due to the distance of clitoris from vagina, but that was disproven.
The straight answer is: we don't know. We hardly even know colloquially a large clitoris versus a small clitoris. I don't know if my clitoris is considered small, average, or large. I don't know! So you're probably not going to get girls in here who say they have a big/small clit and how easily they orgasm.
How do you quantify easy to orgasm or hard to orgasm anyway? Compared to what?

Have you ever had an orgasm? Do you orgasm with vibrators?

If you are able to orgasm be sure your clit size js not the problem. Granted, it might be a bit harder, but it doesn't play any role in orgasm strength, just as dick size doesn't.

Since your bf doesn't come up with ideas, you'll have to be the one bringing them to him. Just ask him to do stuff to you.

Have you tried edging for stronger orgasms? My gf almost explodes from tease and denial play. Sometimes I penetrate her and we just focus on the very minimal movements that happen there. It's impossible to keep still for both of us. Also, ask him to go all in and keep humping further. This will apply a lot of pressure from his pubic bone to your clit and labia. My gf actually stood sitting screaming yesterday in missionary from it.

Feed us with more input on what makes you cum and I may come up with more ideas.

I dont know the man personally. I think it would help if he literally read this thread and paid attention to your replies. No harm in telling him you were concerned about the sex and wanted extra opinion. It looks like some possible answers to your worry were written in your responses whether you have realized this or not this needs to be communicated to him.

>>17940804
hm, foreplay. that is not always the same. it often spans out over a long time. we are always kind of handsy. maybe i am cooking and he is getting something from the top shelv so i reach around his waist and let my hands slip knto his pants and say something like "hey there handsome". then a bit later k go take a shower and he pops in and asks "is there some room left for me?" and then we make out a little and grope some. maybe we will cuddle a bit l the bed after that, watching some netflix or talking. maybe one of us will let his hands wander and we start making out, get undressed. then we would do whatever crosses our mind. maybe we are upfr a quicky, or for some lazy sunday afternoon sex or some roleplay, depends. i know i don't like it if i feel like it's "clear we are going to fuck now". for example, yesterday we were out all day and we haven't fucked the whole day trough. which is unusual. so when we got home i was pretty tired and just wanted to shower and then be a lazy piece of shit the redt of the evening. but i knew my bf would want to fuck because we had some new ideas for a role play and he was very eager to try this out. but i was just so not in the mood. we di it anyways but i just didn't get into the right mindset. that was pretty lame. it also depends on my cycle, how excited i get sbout having sex. i guess there's just so mich he can do to get me really horny. if i don't feel it, he can't do much to get me all riled up.

>>17940808
i can orgasm on my own whenever i want. sometimes it just takes ages.

as far as i know we have played arpund with isolated stimulation of all the ways you mentioned (plus nipples, i have very sensible nipples and can reach orgasms a lot essier when they are stimulated) plus every possible mix of them.

well, porn doesn't seem a relyable source since a lot of orgasming there is merely an act or cut together.

>>17940835
what i meant was the size of the part of the clit you can actually see. i know this research has been debunked/is very new. but it makes sense to me. somehow. tought maybe i will find some new input to latch on and start off from.

i have orgasms. just rarely when my bf tries to get me off. and he's not bad at it. yes i can orgasm with vibrators. but it also takes some time and mental gymnastics

>>17940838
you sure about that? i could imagine hat a bigger clit can result in stronger orgasms since it reaches deeper and broader into the pelvic area.
again, i'm not only talking about the outwardly visible part but the whole hidden thing that is the clit


well, i am at a loss about what to ask him to do anymore. i feel like we have tried all we can think off...

i edge a lot. sometimes over the whole day. i lile that, yes. but sometimes, if i overdo it, i just end up ruining y orgasm or not being able to cum at all.
we also do that teasing and deep humping thing with his cock. it feels nice. but i could never orgasm from that

what makes me cum is when he fingers me and sucks on my nipples simultaneously whilst we do some roleplay (fantasy is big for me since i need to exaggerate the physical input and being in a horny mood is very important too).

>>17940845
we talk about stuff like that pretty openly. i'm sure i already told him most of the things i wrote here already atleast once.
guess the part about being more explorative could be good to mention again.

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>>17940233

guy here, but I still think I can help.

Do you masturbate? If so and you can get yourself off then you need to take that mentality into sex. Use your hands, get your pussy going the way you like, you can also coach you man into doing what you like. Patients, it may take time, let him work.

Coach yourself into a cumming fantasy, a really hot fantasy where you come like crazy. I have a few that I run through my head. Imagine the explosion and release. Trust your partner. Just keep coaching yourself deeper into the fantasy until you come.

Also maybe buy a vibrator and work with that some.

I think for many women it's a shame/self-conscious thing. You must accept that cumming is a good thing and a reward for you and your partner.

>>17940847
This is what i feared about your foreplay. From what i read it doesn't seem like more then a sexy joke and a wink and a grope. You gotta go ham with the foreplay. Remember that lion king love scene that looked like they were playing when you were a kid but as an adult its now like holy shit they gonna fug? Try to put in as much energy as those two cartoon lions and do so for at least the length of a song. Find yourselves a sexy getting ready song together and fool around to it. Instead of grabbing each other while you cook. Sit down next to/front of each other while eating and make it sexy. Rub your legs against him or your foot on his bulge like you are possessed by a horny demon and when he puts his plate down to jump on you tell him he can only rub his legs on you back until you are done eating. This is one of my go-to foreplay games. When he joins you in the shower jump out with the soap and tell him he can only watch you as you lather yourself up, tell him you are going back in and he needs to get it all off of you, dont let him touch his cock. The only downside to foreplaying this hard is he will now need to learn not to bust a nut in 2 minutes after all of this so he can practice his breathing so he can learn to appreciate taking the sweet time.

>>17940888

Generally however long it takes you to cum when masturbating its gonna take 2x to 3x as long during sex.

>>17940952
that sounds interesting. maybe we just suck at foreplay. i've tried to tease him a little a few times but he wasn't very happy. i do think that doing stuff like that would get me more excited.
got any more tips on foreplay?

>>17940888

I think this is more normal then you realize

Mindset plays a lot in orgasm power. Me and my gf almost don't kiss in bed from how much we like to talk kinky stuff. I can do exactly the same thing to her talking and not talking and the result will be a much much stronger orgasm if we're talking.

And also, it is way easier to make her cum hard with my finger then with my dick. Clit plays a very important part to women orgasm and even though it is possible to stimulate it handsfree with different positions, the results will be much faster and strong if it is directly stimulated. I can almost swear her orgasms are stronger with my fingers then with my dick because they're sniper accurate.

So the first thing I'd recommend is: get rid of your whole current mindset. Forget clit size. Try to feel as safe as you do that you will orgasm as when you do the masturbation plus nipples thing. Performance anxiety is a thing for girls too. I personally did some "meta fantasizing" on ocasion, imagining I enjoy some things more then I realy do, and had good results. So try to fantasize and idealize penetration as much as you can. Think of how his dick goes through your whole pussy rubbing your labia and how his balls slap you ass and how good that feels. You can, like you said, amplify the actual feelings by a lot just doing that, and there's nothing wrong to it.

(Cont)

>>17941040
(Cont)

Also, try positions where he or you can masturbate while taking the dick. Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, prone bone and prone bone belly up come to mind. There's nothing wrong to it too. If you enjoy masturbation, having a dick in you will at the very least be mildly better. In short, do positions where he can do what you like but with his dick in you. I might be biased on it, but as long as a pussy is twitching around my dick, I don't care the least in what the cause was, so he'll likely enjoy it.

Also you mentioned about your g-spot. From my experience not all girls have it proeminent and sensitive. My ex was completly absent, to the point I tought it was a myth. My current gf has it so proeminent it's as big as fingertip. And its properties are blown way out of proportion, so don't expect to find it as you might not have a proeminent one, and if you do don't expect a magic orgasm buttom. Even for my gf and a few other girls who had it, the sensivity is periferical to clit, being between the nipples and clit sensivity.

>>17941001
I cannot stress enough the physical exertion necessary in foreplay. You dont need to pass out but some heavy breathing before even getting to sex makes it hotter. Also thank me later when your foreplay and sex starts chiseling both your bodies and improving your stamina in bed and out. At this point if you guys talked about this so much the word foreplay might be giving him anxiety by now so switch the word with games. Think of any games you tricked your childhood crush into playing with you and make it sexy. Also dont be afraid to just get straight nasty, if you guys are fooling around and you get the urge just start touching your nipples, vagina, asshole whatever, talk dirty, grab his dick and tell him he better win if he wants it his way, etc. you already know how to touch yourself so just start masturbating and have him help out. Another common error is thinking he needs to make you cum, nope his ego requires only to feel like he helped. I should have started all of this advice with that last sentence.

>>17941040
>>17941049
>>17941050
thanks so much, anon. i really appreciate your help and the effor that went into your responses.

now i can't wait for the weekend, when i will be seeing my bf again.

i'm sure some of the stuff you wrote will prove to be very helpfull.

>>17941075
Helpful to you, could totally backfire into two pump chump territory if you do not warn him. You should start getting each other excited right now btw. have a good time

>>17941075
Sure thing girl, go wreck dat pussy on his dick! lol

Best thing for your sex life is be cool and free of worries, always remind that. Sex is much more in the mind and partnership than in smashing your sexy bits toghether, always remember that

>>17940233
Try get yourself a nice vibe and use it alone a few times, i think female masturbation is really important, I have spent a lot of time with myself and i have had no problems with having an orgasm since my first time