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>start talking to girl >understands me, good conversation

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>start talking to girl
>understands me, good conversation and all that
>hang out frequently, eventually opens up
>ex-boyfriend, how he mistreated her, emotionally abused her
>I open up, tell things I never said to anyone, feel really close
>three months of everyday talking, a relationship without a label
>ask her if she wants to be in a relationship
>not ready for that, afraid of relationships
>talk to her, she does things for me and all that
>sometimes lets me feel her up, phone sex etc., no kissing or sex though
>tells me she doesn't want to get back with her ex

>new year, gets text from ex
>says can't stop thinking about him
>goes to meet him and gets drunk
>"just wanted to talk to him"
>"okay"

>for some reason, feel cheated
>she said something, does something else
>she talks to him frequently now
>start avoiding her
>she doesn't give a fuck

>ask her if things she said doesn't matter
>"idk. idk what im doing"
>"see you can't handle me. imagine how hurt my ex would be"

She's a good friend. Listens and does favors etc.
But why the fuck is she acting like someone with multiple personalities? What the fuck am I supposed to do? I almost fell for her.
>>
hold her hand and tell her how you feel. manly style it, with the ultimate have "sex or walk" line
>>
>>17939541
>hold her hand and tell her how you feel. manly style it, with the ultimate have "sex or walk" line
pls explain
>>
>>17939532
you just got dropped to friendzone.

Stop treating her as your friend and start treating as (your) woman if you want to get a relationship going.
You are giving her most of the things women want from relationships for "free" which makes her have 0 respect to you as a man.

Unless you are fine with being friends then just keep doing what you are doing I suppose.
>>
>>17939532
>sometimes lets me feel her up, phone sex etc., no kissing or sex though
what in fucks name is this?
>>
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>>17939532
You're in the friendzone buddy or better worded the "emotional tampon". You're there to make her feel better, her close boy-friend to confide in when she's feeling down or bored.

Now, you're in an emotional state and will likely ignore anything that goes against helping you get her. But as someone who has been in your place I'm going to have to tell you to just drop her -- as about everyone else will tell you. You're going to get nowhere buddy.
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>>17939596
metaphorically tell her to get on her knees and suck some cum. hold her hand, give it a squeeze while you lay down facts hard.
>>
>>17939612
The start of Cuckdom
>>
>>17939532

>three months of everyday talking, a relationship without a label
do people actually do this? If im not getting kissed after the first month its time to move on. idc how much of an emotional connection we got. its not happening sex wise after a month
>>
>>17939532
she is fucked in the head. abused girls normally are. one of my ex was in an abusive relationship, the guy even went to court for beating her once. she told me the same thing about how she doesent want to go back to him etc. eventually she did, i treid convincing her that she was being stupid, she never listened. they never listen op. stop talking to her.
>>
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>>17939532
> She's a good friend
And that's all she will ever be. If she won't kiss you after 3 months, you're not dating material

Stop trying to cock block her ex. Step aside and let the mango through. Brother needs to hit that shit.
>>
>>17939627
This.
OP just buy a chastity device already and give her the key.
>>
>mixed sexual signals
>refuses to kiss
>still attached to abusive ex
Sounds like damaged goods. I would initiate no contact and move on. Or if you just have to be "friends" with her, then resolve yourself to being just friends and don't let her drag you into any kind of sexual contact. Personally I don't want to be anyone's second choice or rebound if I can avoid it.
>>
>>17939599
>>17939621
If there was anyone being an emotional tampon, it was her because I was the one talking all the fucking time. She never mentioned her ex at the beginning at all, it started this month. I was so depressed all I wanted was someone to listen to my rants. She listened and gave me iktf and it made me figure out some things in life by talking it out.
>>17939612
We couldn't really hangout other than public places because I'm living with a roommate and we had agreed not to bring anyone home. Not a westerner so casual sex is still a taboo. She gave me this, "kissing changes things. I don't want to be in a relationship".
Since we agreed on being just there for each other, it didn't matter because I got emotional support. But sometimes phone convos end up weird with me being horny etc.
>>17939627
>>17939674
There was no talking about ex; if she did that, would have abandoned ship long ago.
>>17939658
>>17939689
Seems so. I always thought maybe she doesn't really know what she feels, but looks like she will never learn.


Well, I just called her up and told her she is a fucking bitch for giving me mixed signals and for having no self control and saying and doing different things. I finished up with she can count on me being a friend because she did me favors academically. She just kept on repeating she is really confused and doesn't know what she's doing. I want to care, but I had to do this for myself.
I don't regret things happened but definitely wish there was no ex or this whole shit because she is a good person and I would have enjoyed her company.
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>>17939721
>If there was anyone being an emotional tampon, it was her because I was the one talking all the fucking time. She never mentioned her ex at the beginning at all, it started this month. I was so depressed all I wanted was someone to listen to my rants. She listened and gave me iktf and it made me figure out some things in life by talking it out.

She wasn't giving you any mixed signals friend.
It's pretty clear you are just a friend to her especially after such a failure as this
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>>17939773
Friendship has limits.
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>>17939781
And?

You still to fail to grasp why you are in the wrong here
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>>17939773
Agree on that. What really pissed me off was her saying and doing things differently. I was really depressed and what I felt and said correlated and I was being honest. She claimed she was hurt and depressed but ends up getting drunk because he texted her. I really have a problem when people act on feelings whenever they feel like.
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>>17939808
Ye she was hurt when her boyfriend and she had a fight and then her boyfriend gave her attention again so she went out for drinks

That's pretty logical.
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>>17939721
You were talking to yourself basically, she clearly doesn't give a fuck about you, she only cares about her "ex" -- who let's be honest, has never stopped fucking her.
>>
Shes still obsessed with her ex.
Since she lets you touch but only went so far as phone sex in her mind she's still being 'faithful' to him.
Kissing is a big part of bonding, she's avoiding it because she's attached to him still. She knows exactly what she's doing.

Essentially Op, you're being used as her dildo. Put distance between you, give her less of your time. She might come around if she's feeling alone and that's when u give her the ultimatum. Gf or gtfo.

You can't be friends with someone you're this interested in.
It sounds like she's still suffering from his sadist programming. She's emotionally weak and needs to see a professional
>>
>>17939941
She's fine, she's living her life how she chooses and has her own free will. OP on the other hand is the idiot for fucking himself up.
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