My girlfriend has stood me up for sex again. She refuses to

"I want to break up because _____ ." Actually give her a chance to explain rather than just say "Oh she refuses to talk about it there's nothing I can do". From what you said, it sounds like she wasn't expecting to have sex while you were, which is why she just went off and did her own thing. Maybe you should actually try to communicate with her instead of us to learn why things are happening the way they are.

>>17936002
Yeah what ^they said. Breaking with someone just because they won't have sex when you want to have sex sounds like a really shallow relationship.

>>17936002
She don't need sex from you bc she's getting it somewhere else

>>17936023
t. roastie who can slut about to get it anytime.

Sex matters, a lot. In fact that's mainly the relationship nowadays.

If she refuses to talk about it, you either pressure her into doing so or just break up for this exact reason: lack of communication on her part. At the very least she'll open up about it, then it's up to you walking away (which I'd recommend) or chicken out

>>17936028
If sex is mainly the relationship to you then you don't want to have a girlfriend, you want to have a fuck buddy. If that's the case, your expectations and her expectations are not aligned.

>>17936023
A mans sole purpose on earth is to reproduce. This is what nature intended. He thinks about sex all day every day. If she cannot satisfy his needs she needs to go.

>>17936041
See >>17936036's response. Relationships aren't about sex. That's what fuck buddies are for, like they said. If OP can't focus on the emotional and mental side of a relationship that his girlfriend seemingly wants, then maybe he's the one that needs to go.

>>17936041
Bahaha that is not man's sole purpose. That kind of outlook is very narrow minded and bound to lead to an unfulfilling life. I stand by my previous comment of misaligned expectations- plus they haven't even been properly communicated... so not only is there misalignment, there's unknown misalignment and great frustration.

>>17936023
That's stupid.
If you need something and you're not getting your needs satisfied, and your SO won't do anything about it, then you should definitely quit the relationship.

>>17936026
This guy got it right, OP. She is most likely shopping at a different store, if you catch my drift

>>17936047
>f OP can't focus on the emotional and mental side of a relationship that his girlfriend seemingly wants, then maybe he's the one that needs to go.
>girl doesn't even have the courtesy to say "not today, just not in the mood"

>>17936053
t. a woman
You don't know what goes through my mind. The sexual thoughts I have throughout the day are revolting. Again like I said, sex is very important and if she cannot satisfy she needs to go. It's as simple as that.

>>17936058
But he didn't say he asked for sex. So how should she know what he wants unless he expresses it directly? OP seems entitled just because he's dating her to get everything he wants when he wants without having to say anything.

>>17936047
>Relationships aren't about sex
But that is wrong. Sex is very important in a relationship.

>relationships are not about sex
>t. frigid roasties

Relatuonship - sex = friendship

Sex is part of the full package for anyone who isn't frigid or assexual. It's as good excuse to break up as any. If lack of sex makes you miserable, you should break up. Whoever thinks otherwise doesn't have sexual needs of their own and would probably be better off cuddling with friends or assexuals

If you are unsatisfied with your sex life and can't make it work, then break up please. It will save you a lot of headache, and don't think it's going to get better.

By breaking up she will have a chance of getting a boyfriend with less sex drive, and you will have chance to find a girlfriend that wants to fuck more. staying is just hurting you.

>how do I break up?
Be honest about it and try to keep on good terms with her. Breaking up over text or just stringing her along until you find another girl is douche behaviour.

>>17936002
How often do you have sex?

>>17936062
Yeah you're right. I don't know what goes through your mind. Neither does any other guy on here. Only you know what goes through your mind. I find it interesting that you say the thoughts you have throughout the day are revolting and in the same breath you say sex is very important. Yeah I get you on that. Sex is important to me too. I don't allow sex to define the romantic relationships I have though. Simple as that.

>>17936066
Just because it may be important, doesn't mean that the whole relationship is about it.

>>17936064
>implying you need to say "I want to have sex" out loud

You clearly have a very twisted view on sex dynamics, specially in a relationship. Either a virgin or one of those "consent" feminist crazies, and given your use of the word "entitlement" I'd bet on the second

>>17936076
>t. someone who has never had a real emotional connection with a person of the opposite gender

>>17936084
Yeah, because you lack a sex drive.
>>17936085
It is a MAJOR part of the relationship. How can you not comprehend this? Women are fucking moronic.

>>17936088
Still didn't answer my question on how she should know he wants to fuck when he didn't say anything.

>>17936093
Again, still doesn't mean relationships are about sex.

>>17936093
Bahaha I'm really having a great morning getting some laughs from these boards. Really, thanks for making me smile. As if you even know me and my sex drive haha. Feels like you're baiting but what the hell, I don't care. How much you wanna bet I probably have similar "revolting sexual" thoughts too? I'm human and I enjoy sex just like the best of them. I don't see that as the only thing worth experiencing in this life.

>>17936097
Are you trolling me? Relarionships are about all different things and one of those major things is sex.
>>17936099
>Bahaha
Yeah please piss off you sub human tier mongoloid.

>>17936104
Oops. My bad. Lemme pick up my pearls real quick before I go ;P

>>17936066
if its "mostly about sex" then you need to change your relationship status to fwb turd

>>17936104
This just in people! A part now equals a whole! According to this fucking retarded anon, because sex is a part of a relationship, the entire relationship is about sex! That's how math works, right?

>>17936110
>>17936113
>virgins who have never been in a relationship
>>17936109
Yeah I don't care.

>>17936116
Point proven. You can't argue against logic so you go on the offensive and start insulting when you realize you are wrong.

>>17936113
Oh my gosh you're right! And if there is no sex...there's no relationship! *gasp*

>>17936066
Those two statements aren't remotely mutually exclusive.

The person you date should be someone you badly want to fuck, but you badly wanting to fuck them should not be the reason for dating them (as opposed to just fucking them).

>>17936094
To clarify, I said "lets have sex" in that exact phrasing several times throughout tonight and our vacation.

Last night she said she wanted me to take a shower first. I suggested we should shower together and she just said "just shower yourself".

Came back and she said she was tired. "Lets wake up and make love, that'd be romantic", I said.

Woke up, started kissing her. "Not yet, I'm tired still."

Hour later she asked for a massage. I love massaging her, I love being close to her, so I do that.

Then, "I need to brush my teeth", she showers, and leaves through the other door to start reading a wiki on GW2 items.

I even told her to come back to bed and she said she was already dressed. I asked what she was doing today. "Nothing. Why, what do you want to do?"

"Lets go back to bed and have fun, its our last night here."

"No. You should go get breakfast."

So I'm going to go get breakfast I guess, feeling like a million bucks.

>>17936119
Absence of evidence doesn't equal evidence of absence. Nice try though.

>>17936118
>relationships aren't about sex
>Sex is a major part of a relationship
>hah you said part, hahaha, you're wrong
American stupidity isn't even a meme anymore.

>>17936124
That was the point faggot

>>17936091
>t.8 years dating and soon to be married

thank you for playing, see ya next time

>>17936121
Ok, now we're getting somewhere. Did you bring up the fact she previously said you guys could fuck in the morning when she said no?

>>17936121
Yeah, she's no good. Get rid of her.

>>17936076
That relationships are not "about" sex doesn't mean sex has nothing to do with relationships.

Most men would fuck billions of women. Would they date all of those seriously, long term? Would they make all of those the mother of their children?

There you go.

>>17936127
Then you clearly don't know what point you are trying to argue or how to argue it.

>>17936133
Yeah, because sex is totally the only thing differentiating a friendship from a relationship, because EVERYBODY talks about their intimate details and secrets with their significant other exactly the same way they would their friends, right?

>>17936094
You can demonstrate it without saying a word just by your actions. One has to be a full blown autist to need it to be asked out loud.

>>17936002
I don't know if it's been brought up in this thread but maybe she wants you to rape her. You know what I mean.

>>17936144
So you assume that she is constantly paying attention to him and she couldn't have possibly been distracted with other things on her mind, or just was enjoying the massage for what it was before moving on with her day?

>>17936142
Have you ever even had friends?
That's not the only difference, but it's a major one

>>17936150
Are you honestly retarded?
He asked her to have sex. She made up excuses over and over, then said they'd fuck in the morning. Then when this morning he tried to massage her and she just got up and left.
She's being a cunt.

>>17936150
See, you are assuming she's a full blown autist, just like I said. How distracted can you be when you wake up ffs??

Also, op's story already proved me right, better luck next time tho

>>17936153
So... thanks for backing up my point I guess?

>>17936156
>>17936159
I based my post off of >>17936144, not what OP said. Maybe if you guys were better at interpreting my signals like you are interpreting when someone wants sex, you'd be able to see that.

>>17936141
I hope you see we're actually agreeing

Sex IS a major part of a relationship, unless both are assexual or going through some specific trauma like rape or a dead relative or whatever. Other then that, having a compatible sex drive is crucial.

Not to mention fucking communication which op's (hopefully soon to be ex) gf severely lacks.

>>17936168
Since you need things explained to the bits, here it goes:

Our first posts were before his. His post proved my first post was right and yours was wrong.

I was with a fag bitch for over 2 years with the same thing, sex was terrible because it always" hurt" and didnt let me cum in her even though she was on pill and i had a condom on. And rarely had sex. And i was a faithful nigger the whole time.

Nearly two years have passed since breaking up with her and now i got a fine ass asain babe thats horny as i am, and she a solid 10/10 dick straight hard.

Dont beat around the bush faggot, like i did for 6 months. Just dump that slut when you see her next. And move on.

Good luck with the dry season. Because a floodin will cum after

>>17936121
Yeah, this shit is a huge source of resentment

>attempt to initiate sex
>gf rejects saying she's tired
>spends the entire next day playing video games

>>17936178
So far I haven't seen any of my points be proven wrong in this thread. OP provided additional information, so I switched to that. But you guys were still arguing against my previous points, so I switched my context back to those in reference to what was discussed before the new information. So again, still not proven wrong.

>>17936179
Yeah man you gotta fuck her!!! Wah hah hah!!! Throw a baby in that sideways VAGINA!

>>17936171
I do agree with that and given OP's other post it is blatantly obvious that they don't have a mature relationship anyway. But from the OP it was unclear whether he wanted a girlfriend with a comparable sex drive or someone ready to spread (virtually) every time he was in the mood.

>>17936190
Seriously. Does op want a gf or fb?

>>17936195
What's the difference?

Not OP but when I started dating my gf we had sex at least once, or multiple times, every day. Now I get multiple times a day is an unrealistic expectation but our sex became more and more infrequent over the course of months, from every day, to every other day, to 2-3 times a week, once a week, etc. At some point I realized it had been 2.5 weeks since we last had sex. I would try to initiate but my gf rejected me so much I just gave up trying.

Feels like a bait and switch imo. I still want to spend time with her but my sexual needs aren't being met.

>>17936229

Just out of curiosity, how long have you been together? Kinda worried when to be expecting something like this to happen.

>>17936229
>I just gave up trying.
Same.
Its a shitty feeling. I wonder whether I'm even satisfying to sleep with anymore because its been so long.
Self worth is down the drain too.

>>17936229
>What's the difference?
It's the difference between loving that you get to fuck someone and getting to fuck someone you love.

>Feels like a bait and switch
I get your frustration, but everyone is not on their natural behavior when they are in love. It's not like she actively decided to make you think she was a sex nymph and then clammed shut, she was just horny because she was overflowing with hormones that faded once she grew comfortable.

This stuff happens all the time. The most common example for men is that they do sweet, romantic things for their girlfriend while winning her over that they can't be fucked to do anymore once they realize she loves them.
Yes it can suck, but it is natural for people's behavior to change. As long as they are being sincere and not actively trying to reel you in only to let you down, you can break up over it but there's hardly anyone to blame. It's just how life works. And it's why you should never get married before the honeymoon period is over - because you don't know what your partner is really like.

>>17936237
I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years and, while we fuck less than we did when we were 16, we still have sex 3-4 times a week. Not all couples stop fucking at some point, don't worry too much.
Keep yourself attractive, make your relationship and sex life exciting, please her and make sure you are intimate with her - talk, spend time together, cuddle, have a hobby that interests you both, etc.

>>17936246
Same here, I'm with my gf for 8 years now and although we don't do as much sex as we did, it's still 2-3 times a week. Which is understandable given we aged in that time, have more busy routines, got "used" to each other and so on. It actually started to get more frequent recently after we introduced another girl and loved it.

I think a lot of people go out of their way when the relationship is beginning to be someone they're not, and it's a major let down when they can't keep up the act. I always made a point of being crystal clear on who I was and never stopped being myself even before we were dating, so she knew exactly what she was getting into.

Also people let their sex lifes grow stale. It'll obviously get tyring if your only tricks are oral and other two or three positions. Both have to put effort in having a big pool of moves in rotation.

>>17936121
Sounds like

A) you did something to annoy her. She won't tell you out straight and you don't know. Probably something stupid as well.

B) she has doubts about the relationship and is stopping sex so she can think straight or slowly lose attachment

C) she is getting dick elsewhere and doesn't know how to breakup with you or is trying to keep the relationship incase the other guy doesn't pan out

Probably A but you need to ask what's going on. If she won't talk about, don't even threaten to breakup if she won't have sex with you, just do it. If you threaten to breakup and she starts having sex again to keep you happy, the relationship is doomed and she will use it against in time.

>>17936279
Oh yes, of course - we have sex less because we actually have shit to do, we are not teens full of hormones and we got a bit used to each other. It is normal, after so many years.

We are both too jealous to open our sex life, but we got a bit kinkier over the years. We just made a point to variate the things we do, explore our fantasies and never stop fucking before we both came.

I think it's important to keep it enjoyable for both people. Like - one thing that really surprised me was that, in my group of friends, I'm the only one who ALWAYS comes during sex. I obviously love fucking my boyfriend because who dislikes orgasms, but if I had to do it as an act of kindness probably I'd be less motivated.
Also, as you said - variation. And general relationship health - if you communicate what you want and need, if you're happy with your partner, if you're clear about what you want and need and willing to put effort into giving your SO what they want, it works wonders even after many years.

>>17936002
I think the bigger problem here is
>She refuses to talk about it.
and not the sex.

If your girlfriend won't communicate with you and you've tried to communicate how this frustrates you OP, then you should break up based on that alone. While a massage and flirting doesn't obligate her to have sex with you, not being able to talk to each other is gonna erode the rest of this relationship.

>>17936308
We're not fully "open", but since she's bi curious and I'm, well, a guy, we gave threesomes a try. The first two were shit and we were almost giving up, but the third girl got us so unpredictably hooked that we enjoyed it.

But whatever you do, variety is the name of the game. We usually do foreplay plus two or three positions, and with a bag of tricks so big that the combinations never make it boring.

And what you said is true: a lot of women don't enjoy sex because they've been lied to that they have problems getting there, so they either accept it and never communicate to their partners, or don't communicate for fear or some other silly reason.

Care to share some of the kinky things you got in? Other then threesomes we're pretty vanilla I think. We've watched porn toghether and play with a vibrator frequently, but knowing a few more tricks won't hurt.

>>17936390
I wouldn't mind a threesome in theory, but I am horrible at sharing and would never stand seeing my boyfriend touching another girl. Not my thing.
I don't like toys all that much either, but my boyfriend wants to buy one for me so perhaps we'll try.


>Care to share some of the kinky things you got in?
I got on birth control 6 years ago and that alone improved our sex life so much.
We got into cum play. He makes me suck on his dick after we fucked, or fingers me after we fucked and makes me clean his fingers, or comes on my face and "feeds" me his cum.
We tried anal play, too. He doesn't like anal sex all that much, but he fingers my butt while we're having sex and I love it. This one is mostly for me, I admit it.
Teasing, too. We like making each other horny when we cannot find relief. Makes sex just SO much better once we can actually fuck.
We fucked in a few different places around the house and sometimes in public.
Some roleplay. Very light BDSM (both with me and him as doms).

Nothing extreme but it was fun, I never got bored.

>>17936490
Yeah the jealousy is a problem. My gf only got past it when we agreed that it was something both of us would do toghether. Just because I could penetrate the other girl it didn't mean she wouldn't have her fun having lesbian sex too. And if you're not interested in girls at all, I wouldn't recommend it either. The fun is having everyone interacting, not one person interacting with othet two separatly. I guess it could work if the girls have a voyer/cuckquean fetish from the get go, otherwise no.

And we're into mostly the same things, except for cum play. We're a bit "cumphobic" lol. We do roleplay (she loves to play a virgin) and tease and denial, and the eventual butt fingering here and there.

About toys, we only really like the vibrator. Dildos are not very attractive, and most other things are too over the top. She had a suction clit vibrator but the suction was very light, so we're probably trying a manual clit pump in the future. But I'd recommend going to a physical sexshop for the laugh, and getting a vibrator for starters.

>>17936548
I have always been curious about the idea of having sex with another girl, but I love thinking that me and my boyfriend lost our virginity to each other and never fucked anyone else. I find the thought so endearing and sexy. Plus, I'm jealous as fuck.

Cum play is pretty much my biggest kink, since we started doing it I've always been super crazy about it. I even get sightly frustrated when he faps because I don't get his cum.

We never tried toys, I don't even know why. We just never bothered to try them, we still have so many things we'd like to try and... just never happened. Maybe I'll get myself a vibrator for my birthday, sounds like some nice birthday sex for me.

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>>17936578
I just jacked off to this!!!!!! Oh my goddddddd anon!!!

>>17936578
Yeah the virginity thing is really sweet, so I can see where you're comming from. For me and my gf we've come to an agreement that there would be only two entities in bed: us, as a couple, and the other girl. We had also set up a lot of rules, but to be honest the horniness threw them out of the window really fast.

Sounds crazy but our last time was perhaps our most romantic night in a long time. There was a lot of cuddling and sweet make out between everyone involved. I even avoided cumming and didn't penetrate the other girl for lack of a comdom, and I don't regret it the least. Still it took us almost 6 years of talking and fantasizing it before we went through. So if you have the curiosity to be with another girl, I think it's worth at least talking to him.

Cum is complicated for us, I have a lot of body hair and it sucks to clean it up if it goes anywhere out of the pubes (I shave there). She tried swallowing but handled badly the taste and texture, so we sorta go straight to the bath after that. It sucks some times but since we have a mutual feeling towards that it doesn't bother me.

And definitly get a vibrator, specially if you have a sensitive clit. That's something I can't recommend enough. Sometimes the clit play can make it sore fdom rubbing, but since a vibrator only shakes it without rubbing, it can take you way past that point. It's also a great help and shortcut if you're both in the mood but feel lazy or tired. If he's jealous of it just let him use it on you and fuck you while using it, and he'll get hooked instantly.

Oh and one thing I forgot to mention: I made her find the firt girl and seduce her. This avoided a lot of jealousy. I basically talked to the girl only when we physically met.

>>17936592
T-thank you. I'm glad I helped?

>>17936627
I don't feel any strong desire to fuck another girl. It's a curiosity, but I don't care all that much to be fair.
Maybe one day, but surely not in the short term.
He also isn't too much into threesomes - he rarely watches porn (when he faps it's to pics of me/videos of us fucking), he wants sex less than me. I am much hornier than he is.

He's really hairy too. But yeah, cum doesn't go on his body ever. I always make sure I clean everything up. I don't mind the taste and texture as long as he has been eating well, so it's not a huge deal.

He's not jealous, he's actually more open than me about it. I am just like "meh I come anyway, such a waste of money". He has been telling me to buy one for a while, especially because we both love teasing and it would have been easy.

>>17936700
Trust me, it's a well invested money. It's not better then sex - sometimes I want to use it in my gf and she doesn't - but it's something else just as good and a great helper

>>17936041
>A mans sole purpose on earth is to reproduce
this is what too many "biology"/"animals" TV documentaries do to people

>>17936002
hah love all the numales in this thread can't into reading comp wailing "wahh you can't break up over sex, das shallowww!!!'
notice OP said "stood me up for sex AGAIN"
implying this is a recurring problem.
OP, don't make things complicated listening to these limp wrists.
Ask yourself, is sex important TO YOU? Are YOU happy with things.
If NOT ask her about it (if you haven't), and if she is unwilling to compromise or explain things or has said previously she WOULD change and still has not, then drop that shit.
If you answered YES to the above question though, and you ARE happy despite getting stood up for sex or playing some cat and mouse game with it, then don't do a thing.
Your happiness is in YOUR control. Do what makes YOU happy, give this girl a fair chance, but don't get used. Your happiness is what matters most.

>>17936700
I bought a vibe for my gf and after she used it and told me how it was started having soul crushing insecurities about it. I know I'm not the norm but just cause its hot in theory doesn't mean it actually is.

>>17936053
>Bahaha
Kill yourself

I havent read the thread buy my girlfriend was increasingly invested in her phone hte past 2 months, and increasingly turned me down for sex or would go straigh tot bed. she dumped me yesterday. She's been messaging another guy heaps.

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>>17938898
Wahahahaha you sound absolutely triggered you faggot!

>>17936279
I'll be honest I'm 23 my gf is 25 and if we got the day together we'll fuck every few hours, been together 5 years, maybe it's age but I just think it's sex drive

>>17936121
I say breakup. You always hear people saying that you need to communicate with your partner, but it's a two way street. A girl who doesn't want sex but wants to talk might say
>I've just had a long week at work
which is an invitation to talk.
When a girl shoots you down for days at a time, like yours did, she isn't open to the idea of communication. Continuing a relationship with a girl like this just isn't worth it as you're basically having to teach her not to be a shitty partner

>>17939549
This. The real breaker here is the lack of communication, and she doesn't seem willing for it