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I'm female and made an online friend, from very far away. He was very sweet to me and of course, I fell for him. Because he barely replied to me and I clearly wanted more than what he wanted, I told him I couldn't handle our frienship. He said he never wanted to be more than friends with me and all his comments were platonic, he's just liberal with compliments. This is driving me crazy because I though there was something else. These are the some of the things he's said to me (paraphrased because I have terrible memory):
- (Before he saw what I looked like). "Your name is beautiful. For some reason, I feel like you're deserving of such a name."
- "You're beautiful, girl!!" I told him he didn't have to lie but he insisted that he never gave compliments lightly.
- "God damn you are cool. This isn't meant to be creepy, but I'd date you". After this I actually blurted out "I think I'd date you too", but he ignored it.
- After I told him he was hilarious and my jaw hurt from laughing so much. "I hope I can always make you laugh"
- When I told him I couldn't sleep, he asked if it was from having too many thoughts. I said yes, and he said "Thinkin about me?" with a flirty face. I said "Oh youu! I'm not gonna answer that". And he called me a tease. Then I got so nervous I started saying dumb stuff, to which he said "We're just friends, anon. Cool?" This was the last of these things he said.
Man writing it out it really looks like there was something else. I'm so confused. At the same time, like I said, most of the time he would barely reply to me and usually with short answers. And when I said sentimental stuff like, I really like you, he would ignore it or just reply to something else I said. So I'm confused as fuck. Can those comments seriously be just platonic? Was he playing with me? Was he trying to push me away because of the distance? Did he like me but I put him off at some moment?
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I never thought I'd see the girk on this side of the table but yeah you've been friend zoned or this guy is a master player and has completely manipulated you either way best bet is to steer clear of this guy
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>>17935976
Maybe he is just really flirty in general, without giving much meaning to it.
I'm like that too, but I don't mean much with it.
I'm sorry you got hurt.
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>>17935976
are you fat, or ugly? sometimes i speak to ugly girls because i like there company, and i nice to them. however, i would never actually date them because of how they look.
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Some guys flirt lightly with every woman they speak to, even though they may not be interested. But these comments are way beyond light flirting, I don't think I've ever met someone who's this flirty with people he's not trying to have a relationship with. No wonder you fell for him. He would have to be really oblivious not to know what he was doing.
No idea what went through his head, there are a lot of possibilities. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter, he made it pretty obvious that he doesn't want to have a relationship so you should try to move on, not dwell on what happened and consume yourself thinking about what and why he was doing.
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>>17935976
he's just practicing his flirting skils on you
>>17935991
i will never understand why guys think unrequited love/lust doesn't happen to women. it happens ALL THE TIME. the only reason there aren't male prostitutes for lonely women is because it's socially unacceptable.
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>>17935976
This is the danger of online meeting - you create an imaginary him out of your need to interpret what little cues you have in the way you want them to be.
It is of course possible for people to misdirect you when you meet in real life, but you have so much more to go on that it's less likely.
Learn from this that your image of someone you know only online is likely to be made up of at least as much your wishes and fantasies and reality.
(I'm not criticizing you. The danger is there for everyone, and all you can do is learn from this misadventure.)
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this is gold
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>>17935976
Most likely a Romance Scam. Romance Scams generate about $200mil in fraudulent money every year. Don't fall for them
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>>17936014
Good advice, but also misdirection in real life is extremely common and possible.
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>>17936014
>the danger of online meeting
>>17936014
>The danger is there for everyone
>>17936025
>a Romance Scam
>>17936025
>Romance Scams generate about $200mil in fraudulent money every year. Don't fall for them
HIDE YOUR KIDS
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>>17936004
I'm thin and I'm pretty sure I'm good looking. At least I get a lot of male attention.
>>17936025
I really doubt that since he was more than fine with me not talking to him anymore.
>>17936014
I realize this and this is why I ended the friendship. It was unhealthy for me.
So the consensus seems to be that he was just flirting for the sake of it and it didn't mean anything more. Thank you guys, this makes it easier to move on.
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>>17936042
>I really doubt that since he was more than fine with me not talking to him anymore.
Whatever you say. But when he starts asking for $2000 dollars for a plane ticket to come and meet you, don't expect to ever see this guy or get your money back
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I flirt with women without even knowing I do.
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>>17936056
>I flirt with women
Who are you trying to fool m8; your on 4chan right now
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>>17936061
I'm a legit white supremacist, that's why. Not my fault you can't flirt with women, cuck.
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So the more I think about the more it seems like it was just an act. It's a hard pill to swallow but at least it explains everything. The contradictions and the confusion were driving me crazy. So I guess I'm glad I posted here. This conclusion hurts less than the ones I had reached.
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>>17935976
>I'm female
gr8 !
>and made an online friend
total mistake
/thread
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>>17936010
Have you never heard of a gigolo?
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>>17935976
This guy nailed it: >>17936010
This is the thing with online relationships - ALWAYS assume it isn't "real" until you've actually met in person. If it's just talk, then it's just fantasy. Like the other poster said, this online friendship was kind of a "practice run" for him to figure out how to talk to girls.
That makes it sound harsh like he was using you, which I guess he kind of was, but it's best to just not take that kind of flirtation too seriously. Easy come, easy go.
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>>17936393
Yeah, it really seems to be this way. I feel dumb but at least I realized I was taking it too seriously and cut it off. It's just a bit hard to get over it. Lesson learned though.
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