>33 years old >Living with mother >No job/career >No

Dont do c) bro

>>17932206
1) on what did you waste your life on

2) tell me skills that you acquired during the dark ages

>>17932206
also

3) what are you doing right now

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>>17932206
c)... Definitely c).

get into a trade or something that doesnt require qualifications but has room to progress through the company. there you will be earning money and getting into shape if you werent already. it seems pretty shit but once you work your way up into the better positions without having a uni/college debt. once you work your way it it becomes a good paying job. get a job at least mate

if you have trouble finding work volunteer somewere, it definitley made me feel a whole lot better about myself and made it look good on my cv

youre in your early 30s mate, if you were 50 then i would agree with you but you have lots of time to improve your current position.

you will make your mum proud when she sees you trying to make better of yourself

>>17932206
Forget the past.

Look ahead ten years. What would you like your life to be like then? What sort of job, where live, married or single, etc. You don't have to be specific - you may not know exactly what job you want but you can feel whether it will be office, store, factory, etc - but get the general outline.

Now work backwards. What would have to happen during the ten years to get you from here to there?

Now come back to the present. What is the first step in the process you just went though backwards?

Do it.

Hi OP I turn 34 this month.

I often feel I ruined my life. I've turned down lots of possibilities over the years which upon reflection seemed to be an attempt at the time to save face by never really challenging myself due to low self esteem/poor self image. Would rather be the biggest fish in a tiny shitty pond instead of striving for more I guess.

As I have had to challenge my comfortable assumptions over the last decade especially this has resulted in increasingly feeling like my wings are being gradually clipped. If I was going to do something exceptional I'd have done it by now. It is very likely unless something changes beyond my control that I will continue on this path for the rest of my life now.

So like you you rationalise it and make the best of it. Or you drive yourself insane trying to live differently against everything you know so far. I think it is just a giant metaphor for getting old, the loss of youth, the decline of sexual potency, potential and eventual decent into old age and death.

Thing is, despite this I was married, I lived in two countries, I've had many jobs, I managed to get a degree and several other qualifications, I own a house and a car and have a fairly large amount of assets, I've got a girlfriend and some pets and a band and everything is superficially alright I guess.

It all feels like paper over a giant screaming void of shrinking potential and possibility though. I don't think I'm mentally very well and like you I tend to fixate on this idea of suicide as an option. I'm fascinated by the statistic that it is the biggest killer of men under the age of 50. Like so many of us just can't deal with it gracefully.

>>17932242

Social anxiety/depression/low self-esteem throughout 20s. Emotionally immature with no comprehension of the "real world". Always hated the idea of a career etc and still can't deal with it now. Terribly insecure around women and didn't have a gf till late 20s which came to an end. I just couldn't get my shit together, always thought I'd have time and things would just happen and then I woke up one day in my 30s with no money, job, gf or prospects whilst everyone around me succeeds. Its like I've only just figured out what everyone else secretly knew 15 years ago

I call myself a creative person and I have some design knowledge but I'm too perfectionist and hard on myself and unable to get organised to do anything with any talent I might have.

>>17932244

Trying to convince myself I can change but every day I just fall apart thinking about the task at hand. I have at least got back in the gym this past month and have been making that a habit.

>>17932253

I don't think I could get a trade at my age and I am not practical in any way. The idea of being a plumber or whatever does not appeal to me at all

>>17932285

Sign of the times. I honestly wonder about the future of men in general

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OP I'm in early 30s and similar situation. I took redundancy two years ago and moved back home. I went travelling for first year and took a break. Then tried to reenter the job market with years of experience and qualifications. Got shit on interviews and recruiters were trying to get me take considerably less paying jobs.

Ended up doing a course for a year and am just about to do the certification exam now. All I can say is there will be days when it seems like you are trying to climb out of a pit that never ends but you need to keep climbing.

>>17932206
You usually won't do b anyhow cause you are to lazy. Go for a at least for a while to learn discipline, or at least a part time job to combine it with b.

And there are already too many Devs and net people out there. If you want decent money you need a trade. Leran one of your own, or find a master. It is difficult at year age, but if you are open and honest with you having fucked up so far, and you apply uninvited and personal.

As well buy "how to manage depression / anxiety with CBT for dummies" read it and put it's advice into practice.

>>17932354
Cause you lazy.

How about woodwork? Gardening? Smithing? Sewing? Jewelry?

>>17932206

go for it

what do you have to lose ? answer = nothing

volunteer at homeless shelter for motivation

>>17932643

OP here

I did actually think about volunteering at a homeless drop-in place soon.

Everything I consider doing always feels scary. I live in fear of life itself

>>17932206
c

>>17932206
do a & b. there's no easy way out of your situation but acknowledging your situation and wanting to change it is a good start. regardless of whatever career you decide on, you still need to start from the bottom, meaning you'll have to be less picky about your jobs at first. employers would more likely hire people with a work history.

A combination of A and B. Get a wageslave job, improve your skills on the side, and try and get some meaningful employment after you've built up skills and employment. There's no need to move out of your mother's if she's more than happy for you to stay.