What is the key to happiness? I find it difficult for me to

>>17930984
It might be useful for you to try therapy. Medication can be life-changing for some people, but it's not always what everyone needs. A therapist might be able to help, or, failing that, point you in the direction of someone who can.

>>17930992
I have tried therapy on several occasions to no avail.

>>17930984
Lots of people much smarter than you and I have pondered these questions before. Maybe try reading some Eastern philosophy. They deal with this stuff frequently.

If you ask me, I think a good way to get out of a self-loathing mindset is to stop thinking about yourself. Right now, you're very self-centered. I'm not calling you narcissistic, or anything like that. What I'm saying is that your perspective is shifted inward. Try looking out every once in a while. Do small random acts of kindness, and do them wholeheartedly with sincerity. Don't think about yourself. Just think about what you can offer for others.

Again, this isn't me accusing you of being a selfish prick, and that you need to suck it up and put others first. I'm just saying that you need to go out of your way, and offer help for others when you can. It's going to change your perspective. Trust me.

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>>17930984

if the key to happiness was the same for everyone, someone would have just handed it to you.

the whole idea of life is going out and experiencing it. it only makes sense that you should do what you find you like and avoid what you find yourself hating.

try to be realistic and not edgy about it tho

What's the value in "happiness"? What does it produce?

>>17931691

>what does it produce

logically speaking happiness is the produce. you do stuff to produce happiness, not produce happiness to do stuff.

but even if you want to play that game
>you do happiness to produce stuff

its a lot easier to meet all these goals you havei n life if you are happy with life. otherwise, whats the point in doing it all? the satisfaction you get from most of these goals also produces happiness.

unless you're a literal programmed robot, emotions are the end all. even when things were done for future generations, getting them done (despite hardship) caused the emotions that make people happy.

>>17930984
Do stuff you want to do...mine was drugs but that didn't turn out well. I was happy but everyone was judging me to the point of suicide so I said fuck it and became unhappy. Just find something you like and do it, it's literally that simple. Like animals? Go help at a shelter. Play video games? Go stream and find a community you like. Fitness freak? There's too many of you. Find someone else. Doesn't have to be someone you want to Fuck just someone you can sit in silence with and Not feel awkward about it.

>>17930984
IMHO the key to happiness is to accept that you'll not always be happy. Happiness is a fleeting feeling. The key is to accept not only yourself, but to also accept whatever feelings come your way (anger, sadness, joy, etc) as not good or bad. Feelings should be seen as either pleasant or unpleasant. They help us to motivate us or to communicate something. Feelings influence our thoughts which in turn influence our actions.

>>17931403
In other words OP,

You're a selfish prick basically.

It's subconscious, but it's there. This poster just didn't want to drop the truth on you

>>17932250
>In other words OP,
>You're a selfish prick basically.
No.
>It's subconscious, but it's there
Also no. Being selfish is a person seeing that others have needs, and not acknowledging those needs as valid. That's not OP.

>>17930984
The key to happiness is being blissful about being unhappy. Your going to be unhappy more than you're happy, that's just how life works. Find something to take your mind off your unhappiness. If you can't do that then I have no clue because you're in the same boat as me.

get a job

don't even mean that in a harsh way, it just gives you less time to dwell on how useless you are and more money to do actual things

OP here
Expected thread to 404
>>17931403
I understand your reasoning but I honestly wouldn't consider myself selfish very much. I'd say my only trait is expecting to be treated with the same level care as I give people. When a friend is in a tough place, I'm always there to listen and try to offer helpful advice. Yet I rarely get a "Are you okay?" or something of the sort from them. That's kind of discouraged me from putting myself in positions where I'd have to be kind because in my experience, most other people won't be kind and they won't care.
>>17931649
It's hard for me to avoid what I hate doing. I hate being alone, I hate being anxious, I hate not having reassurance that my life will go smoothly after hardships. A few people from high school go to the same uni and I see them having the time of their lives and I can't help but wonder if a happy life isn't given to everyone.
>>17931702
Doing things I want to do is much easier said than done. I want to be able to social and meet new people and create friendships. Then I'm overcome with fear of rejection or embarrassment and then hate myself for not being a social butterfly. My other "hobbies" if they can be called hobbies, don't help or further my antisocial tendencies.
>>17932729
I like reading that post about faking being happy until it become second nature but it doesn't work for me. I keep negative thoughts at the back of my head and they keep scratching away at the facade I try to build.

>>17933581
Not that guy, but he's not saying you're selfish. He's saying you're thinking a lot about yourself -- even if you loathe yourself, you're still being self-centered. In fact, a lot of mental illness is this way. Your thoughts swirl with so many thoughts about you, your world, and how you fit in it that you can't handle it. With depression, it's nonstop negativity. I have it -- I know.

He's saying, stop centering your thoughts around yourself, because then you just sit and ruminate. Forget yourself and who you are and bask in your surroundings. Just jump into the water, even if it's cold, and don't think about it

"If you want to be happy, be." --Leo Tolstoy

I'm on medication now. I have lower lows on it, but higher highs. I can feel again instead of being numbed out all the time, which was the worst of my depression Nothing felt effectual or real. Nothing was worth the effort -- it all ends anyway. The only real emotion I felt was anxiety, like being stabbed with a hot knife.

I go to group therapy, not just for mental health but addiction. It's useful to hear other people's thoughts and solutions. (Also having a good therapist is also important.)