Hey /adv, just broke up with my long term long distance girlfriend

Shameless self-bump

So if you don't want to settle down with her, what DO you want?

>>17928857
I have no idea yet

This is probably going to be one of those things you regret for a while, but then meet someone else and do the same thing, probably feeling more fulfilled.

You were extremely young when you met, I'm assuming you were each others first (or at least first few) and relationships started when you're 16 rarely last the full term. You simply change too much and I'm of the opinion that the people you date shape your life and help you decide what you truly want from a relationship. Only having the one person as reference works perfectly for a select few, but it tends to frustrate a lot of people and this can result in resentment later in life.

If you don't "feel" it, don't force it. Something is telling you that you're not certain on what you want and it isn't fair to drag her along while you decide.

>>17928867
Well what do you mean by "meet someone else and do the same thing."

How often did you meet up? Long distance requires you to be able to see each other enough for quality time.

>>17928860
You wanted to waste her time, obviously. After 7 years, this conversation was clearly coming, how had you not figured this out yet?
I hope by the time you decide to go after her, she already moved on with someone willing to put a ring on it.

>>17928840

In my opinion, it's always good to scout options before settling down. Maybe you would have had a decent future together, sure. But it could have made you both bitter and resentful if you had gotten together and wasted your youth with each other, only to marry, divorce and realize you have no idea what to do afterwards. It's especially likely if you did disagree about your future plans. There's plenty of what-ifs here, it could have worked out, it might not have. However, regrets don't help you any. You broke up, time to move on. Most likely you'll do just fine anyway.

>>17928879

As in, you'll meet someone else and feel the same way, then probably end up spending seven years with them and not feeling like something is missing.

One tip: don't wait too much before pursuing other relationships.

I broke up amicably with my first gf after 4 years (we were 22) because we had grown out of love. I was destroyed and spent the next year improving myself, getting fit, getting my bachelor's, while subconsciously remaining sexually and emotionally faithful to her.

One year after the break up she talked about trying to date again but wanted to take it slow: then she told me she had had another shitty abusive rebound relationship in the meanwhile. I was destroyed a second time (I remember feeling a huge rush of blood to my head as she was talking about this guy) so I rushed it hoping to get her back and she got scared.

One year later (last summer) something clicked in me: I fooled around like there was no tomorrow, started dancing salsa, had a lot of casual sex with my female friends and got my shit together. Huge self esteem boost: I wished I had just allowed myself to be with other girls earlier instead of going "monk mode" for two years.

I fell in love with a friend of mine and we've been dating for three months. She's all I had been looking for and I couldn't be happier.

Tl;dr You can find someone else in time who is even better for you, just try to put yourself out there as soon as you feel ready.

File: 1483102523850.png (425KB, 1000x628px) Image search: [Google]

425KB, 1000x628px

Pic related, do what YOU want to do, and follow your plans
There is litteraly plenty of girls, they will follow or accept you no matter what

>>17929027
How do you obtain lots of casual sex?

>>17929086
Tinder.

>>17929086

Strangely, I think that's precisely because I've never really pursued it so aggressively like my friends: I would casually flirt with them and be funny while remaining chill, because I knew that I wouldn't end up having sex anyway. Apparently that kind of vibe was a huge turn-on for many of them: after the first ones you get smarter at picking hints of "availability" and with a bit of luck you make it happen.

Also it doesn't hurt that I went from being the "funny fat guy from school" to the "pretty in shape dancer" in the eyes of my female friends.

>>17928976
Go fuck yourself

>>17928979
But what about her? I dont care how i do. I want to make sure she'll be okay

>>17928976
You actually have no idea what you're talking about. I ended this relationship right now precisely because i didn't want to waste her time for even a single day.