Hey guys, I really need relationship advice or just someone else's

She's really insecure about her looks, most of the time she's in a bad mood. Everytime I ask her how she's doing she says that she's doing bad. I'm getting tired of her negativity. She's into brand clothing. All she thinks and talk about now is how she looks and what she wants to buy. I've been spending a lot on the things that she wants. This whole past year I was spending all my money on her. Taking her out to eat, buying expensive clothes and gifts. Just giving pocket money. But her insecurities never go away.

She's very jelaous, especially about my dead first girlfriend. I used to visit her grave every year to bring some flowers, because I made a promise to her to do that and it bothered my current girlfriend very much. I can understand that, I would bother me too, so I agreed to stop doing that. But even so, she always gets mad at me for the things I told her long time ago when she asked me about my previous girlfriend. Even though I told her that I love her and I've let it go, she can't believe me and gets angry even more. I can't tell her anything about that theme or she will hit me and will start crying and freaking out.

I think she might be mentally unstable, she tried jumping of the balcony once when we had a fight and I had to break out the glass door not to let her. Cut myself pretty bad. She used to cut herself too. Sometimes when med is throwing things.

I spend all my time, money and effort on her and honestly, I just got tired of these things. Of her insecurities, of how bad she behaves sometimes, of that I always feel obliged to buy her expensive things, because she wants them and is used to that. Because she doesn't care about my well being sometimes. I'm tired that she's always unhappy, sad or angry. I really do so much for her. On her birthday I booked a lux hotel room, took her to the best restaurant, booked spa session, brought great custom cake, wine, balloons, took her to aqua park, bought her favorite sweets and a new iphone 7 and got her a personalized autograph of her favorite author - Murakami. I help her with her assignments, art classes, bring food to her place sometimes, buy cosmetics and much more. Sometimes I just feel that I should be treated better, that I'm not appreciated. That she doesn't think and care about me as much as I do about her.

On the other hand I'm sure that she loves me very, very much. She wants to spend all her time with me, comes to my place whenever, used to meet me after work, come to me from another city even, when she lived there. The sex is amazing too, broke my bed twice. Almost never says no, also gives head a lot. And sometimes acts so sweet and loving that I just can't bring myself to let her go. I tried breaking up once, but she cried so much and almost tried to kill herself, so we got back together.

Right now she's agnry at me again, because yesterday when we were lying in bed she asked me again about my exgirlfriend and I refused to tell her anything, because she only freaks out and goes mad when I do. I just said that she's dead and I love her and only think of her, don't want to talk and remember anything. She got angry and cried and kept me up till 3 AM even though I had to wake up at 5 next morning for work. At moments like these I feel that she doesn't care that I had work and wouldn't let me sleep. It's okay if that would happen once, it's important to talk sometimes, but this happens regularly. Every other night. I don't know what to feel anymore, I'm just really tired. I'm sorry for such a long post. I think I do love her and would want her to change on the other hand I really just want her out of my life so I can start doing things for myself. Maybe it's my problem that I'm not doing things for me and I should just start doing that? I would really appreciate some advice.

Shouldn't have written so much.

Read half way and stopped, sounds like you've made up your mind already anon.

Tell her you want to take a break from the relationship; I was seeing a girl who was always negative, suicidal too. It's mentally exhausting and soul crushing at the same time - it's boarderline abusive. You obviously spoiled her tons, sounds way too excessive.
She is affecting your work, constantly reminds you of your first gf, clearly mentally unstable (not to say it's her fault)

You either need to gtfo or she needs to get professional help of some kind

OP, please don't hold it against me that I invite you to reread what you wrote.
>>17925659
> she doesn't care about my well being sometimes
> she doesn't think and care about me as much as I do about her

On the one hand, she comes across as a spoiled brat as well as a somewhat disturbed girl.
On the other hand, what you wrote above are red flags of the first kind: the relationship is bound to fail.
She may give you great sex all you want but I'm sure you know for yourself a serious relationship is way more than sex.

>>17925822
You're right, I did write it like I already made up my mind. Maybe because deep down I know I understand the logical options myself, but don't want to act yet for some reason. Yeah, I did spoil her. Probably because of my own insecurities, since she's from a wealthy family and I'm not, even though I work hard.

Yeah, I either have to get her professional help if I love and care about her or take a break to make up my mind and really think things through. Thanks for your comment, I really do appreciate it.

>>17925880
No, anon, I'm not that kind of a person, thank you for noticing that. Could you please elaborate too? I understand that people go into relationships to give and love is a gift. So I shouldn't be saying and feeling these kind of things, like here, I do that for you, I expect the same in return. It's not going to work out that way. But I can't help but feel that she disregards the things I do. For example she very often doesn't let me go to sleep when I'm tired and have work tomorrow when she doesn't want to go to bed, because she doesn't need to get up. Is this bad that I feel that she doesn't care for my well being when she acts that way? She tells me that she just wants to spend more time with me and enjoy my company more and do some things with me. She starts crying or gets angry if I go to sleep and ignore her.