How do I work up the nerve to be myself around attractive, popular

>>17923240

Confidence. If you're not confident with yourself and your ability to communicate or be around certain people then it will always show.

>>17923250
Ok, well how do I become confident then?

>>17923240
Poke your eyes out.

>>17923280
Someone pls answer

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>>17923240

Attractive is subjective. Popularity is an illusion.
Women are just humans. Humans who shit, sleep, eat, make mistakes and have flaws. Any girl worth your time will accept her humanity. Girls not worth your time will not, and thats okay.

I talk to attractive women the same way I talk to frumpy women at the gas station. I don't care, if things clique and work out, great, if they don't, then I order a club sandwich to go and eat it in my underwear. Stop giving a fuck and all doors will be open to you, my child.

>>17923754
>Attractive is subjective

>>17923759
Is it not?

>>17923754
How in the Hell is popularity an illusion?

>>17923280
You can only be confident if you deserve it.
Have you ever seen a swole, hot guy that isn't confident?
Let's say you try to be smart and say "Yeah".
There are two options here
>he is confident, you just dont notice
>he isnt confident because he has been ugly most of his life and he just started getting validation

If you want to fix your confidence issues you first need to fix your outside.
Of course obsessing over your outside can lead to you being less confident than before, but just do your best to look your best in every single fuckign way. Like seriously go autism mode on that shit. Hair, brows, skin, dick size, body, face bloat, body fat, carotene tan, fix ur teeth if u havent since teeth influence skull shape (palate expansion), get on roids and HGH to get more masculine face, clothes, height, etc.

>>17923754
Spoken like a true coper but it's sort of true.
During a period in my life when I was suicidal I stopped giving a shit one day. Eventually this mindset brought me out of depression. Now I'm just as obsessive as I was before, but I'm not depressed anymore though
Not giving a shit is a great coping technique. But then again, even if you bring yourself to be around attractive women while still looking bad, I guess it won't matter.
Women are much more visual than you think.

I have the opposite question. Apparently I'm considered very attractive so a lot of guys freeze up around me. I've had to move past 2 guys I really liked cause they just couldn't relax. How can I help shy or insecure guys be more comfortable around me?

>>17923804
Lol no.

>>17923828

You can be born hot but you can't be born approachable or comforting.
I'm a shy and insecure guy and I've met about 2 girls, ever, who I've actually felt comfortable around completely and like they wouldn't be judgemental.

Alot of girls find this some sort of offensive, alot of girls don't like the fact that I (and many other men) cannot open up to them, but the real harsh truth of the matter is, alot of girls are also incredibly judgemental cunts, especially in their teens - an age when men first start to notice women sexually as well as being an age where you brain shifts from child-mode to adult-mode causing long-lasting impressions.

I mean, I'm just 22 and I notice women are nicer now at this age. Still don't trust them because my brain is so damned used to thinkin' they judgemental cunts. Gotta understand, impressions made on teens, particularly over a longer period, tend to last. Shit, why'd you think rich people shift their kids off the prestigious gender segregated schools?

Gotta find some way to show a man you aint a cunt, and before anyone suggests a blowjob, it aint about sex. It's about trust.

A common thought amongst men is that if we open up to a gash, she'll think we "aren't real men" anymore, and believe me, there are instances there to back this up.

>>17923857
Yeah I guess that's my problem. Not approachable.

>Gotta find some way to show a man you aint a cunt

They know I'm a caring person but it's some sort of a thing where they can't be themselves cause they think I might be disappointed. It's really starting to affect me cause I really liked the last guy. I wish I knew how to make people more comfortable. Like am I supposed to wear simpler clothes, be more casual? Make myself look more homely? Is there anything I could say?

>>17923828
Just go for Chads it's the easiest.

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>>17923240
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-a1jXgAsQI&t=9s

you're welcome.

>>17923809

Popularity only works if you buy into it.

If everyone decided one day to stop participating in the construct of popularity then we'd all be equal.

The only thing keeping popularity alive is the human mind. Its up to you whether or not you want to kiss someone's ass and treat them like they're more important than everyone else.

I choose not to. I don't give a shit how many people think you're cool. Until you prove to me that you deserve extra considering I'll talk to you and treat you like anyone else.

That doesn't mean I'll treat you like shit. In fact, I'm a fairly friendly, easy going guy, I just refuse to act different around some hot girl because her "popularity" demands it.

>>17923810

> But then again, even if you bring yourself to be around attractive women while still looking bad, I guess it won't matter.

My theory is to take care of yourself and dress in a way that you think looks good. If you think you look good you'll be more confident and confidence is, inherently, more attractive to women than a sharp wardrobe.

The wardrobe can only take you so far because eventually you'll have to open your mouth and talk and thats the deal breaker. A confident man in jeans and a t-shirt will always be better with women than some autistic NEET in an $1800 suit.

>>17923897
That's good shit right there. That man has a godly beard.

>>17923965
indeed. he even looks like Chris Pratt lel. Right down to the occasional (and unintentional) death stare he gives.

>>17924014
Have you used his conversational tricks in real life? Do they actually work?

>>17924020
I actually just saw the vid in a thread from last night, so no I haven't tried them yet. But I have done some of the things he's said naturally before watching the video and they've gone pretty well (as in: as well as they can go without using everything from the vid to flow nicely).

>>17924052
Oh shit, I just started to read the YouTube comments on that video and it's full of women and white knights saying that his shaming tactic is abusive and manipulative and it their fee fees and shit.

>>17924085
lmao. Ignore those. Remember the first golden rule of YouTube: NEVER read the comment section.

working in retail taught me. If youre a stiff piece of blushing cardboard around attractive females, youd be walking around as a stiff piece of blushing cardboard all day.

>>17923754
The only people I've ever heard say this kind of thing are people who don't hook up with attractive people themselves.

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>>17924132

>The only people I've ever heard say this kind of thing are people who don't hook up with attractive people themselves.

Think what you want. I enjoy my world view and don't ever find myself uncomfortable due to people's attractiveness.

I don't really care whether or not that helps or damns me. I'm confident, well adjusted and satisfied with my sex life. Whether or not others approve of the people I hook up with is on the very bottom of my list of worries.

>>17924152
Yeah but chances are OP doesn't share the same worldview so he deserves fair warning.

Improve yourself until you feel confident in your own skin and happy as a single man.

>>17923886

The two girls I honestly trusted and felt I could approach;
>Rarely wore make-up, or didn't wear much or it
>Smiled alot, often approached me first, didn't leave me feeling like I was a "creep".
>Didn't dress in a revealing way. No guy is going to trust a woman with her cleavage out, straight up. It's gonna be an entire "I know I shouldn't look there so I'll just keeping looking up but now my neck hurts and I want to look there just because fuck you this is a public place I should be allowed to avert my gaze wherever I want without worrying you're going to lash out, especially because you're leaning down at eye-level cunt" thing. It's not sexy, cute or attractive, not when we're wondering if we're going to be publicly called out for not staring into the sky whenever you're around.
>Never tied their hair up, and had long hair. Short cuts were stolen by SJWs and feminists, and if you're hair is so tight it looks painful, you're going to look bitchy and uptight. Literally letting your hair down makes it look like you've metaphorical let your hair down.

>Make myself look more homely?
Not necessarily. These girls I trusted were beautiful in their own right, but they just looked more comfortable with it. Like they weren't trying to hard or willing to make themselves uncomfortable for it.

>Is there anything I could say?
Not really. Ever heard a girl say "I'm not like other girls"?

But there are things to avoid saying.
You could be the nicest girl in the world to a guy, but then turn around and call some shy guy who seems to like you a creep. This guy will now never open up to you.
Because he knows that if you didn't like him, you'd be judging him every which way.
It's not just about how you treat him, but about how you treat everyone.
The moment you start being overly harsh, judgemental, or critical of others, he's going to be wondering what you'll judge him for.
I'm not saying be nice to everyone, but the old "tough but fair" approach works best.

New wardrobe, new body, new face.

Get a good fashion going on, work out and have a VERY low body fat %, and get cosmetic surgeries on anything that's an instant deal breaker (gynocamaestia, no chin, odd facial features).

Just assume your never going to ask them out. just be your normal self infront of them and if they find you repulsive then a relationship between you and them was never going to work in the first place. However if they warm up to you and start to like you or become your friend then you can start worrying about asking them out... If you so desire.

>>17924195
>"I know I shouldn't look there so I'll just keeping looking up but now my neck hurts and I want to look there just because fuck you this is a public place I should be allowed to avert my gaze wherever I want
>Never tied their hair up, and had long hair. Short cuts were stolen by SJWs and feminists, and if you're hair is so tight it looks painful, you're going to look bitchy and uptight. Literally letting your hair down makes it look like you've metaphorical let your hair down.
Reminder that this is the kind of guy uou end up with when you give non-Chads a chance.

>>17923922
This is such a childish way of looking at it. >>if we just turn off our minds we'll all be equal

Being popular and being "equal" are two entirely separate things, it isn't some contest. Some people are attracted to humour, charisma, wit, etc. These can be anything from traits to personality - there's nothing to be "equal" . Turning off your mind does not affect their ability to do whatever it is they're good at; liking someone doesn't automatically mean I'm kissing their asses.

You just sound like some bitter teen tbqh

>>17925451
Under rated post

>>17925451
Im not sure if that's meant to be positive or negative reminder on non-chads