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Can't fap because I keep thinking about how ugly I am

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I can't suspend my disbelief enough to believe that a girl would ever want me near her most intimate parts. It's giving me a sinking feeling and I'm unable to sustain a boner because of it. Is there any way I can remedy this?
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I used to feel this way. There's a good chance that you are mentally ill and need therapy in order to deal with your delusions

You've fallen down a deep, deep hole, it's going to take a long time to climb out of it, but in a few years time you're going to look back and see how ridiculous all that depression and misery and suffering was.

Were you bullied in school? Were you a loner?
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>>17911001
I wasn't bullied, but I was never really "friends" with anyone. I hung out with people, but they connected with each other a lot more than they did with me. Probably because I never really reciprocated, I don't know.

Anyway, It's funny that you mention depression. I've been deep in depression for several years, but these last few months have been good for me. I came to peace with my flaws and let a lot of my grievances rest. I feel like I'm on track to escaping depression. Except, that's when this feeling really began. I think it's because I've gotten into the habit of thinking of real girls when I masturbate rather than looking at cartoons and hentai. It's like, instead of imagining myself to be the stand-in male fucking the girls, I'm imagining that I am... myself. I can't help but factor myself into it, and I quickly realise that these girls would never let me touch them at all. I'd have to imagine myself to be some total stud filled with charisma and a hot bod to make it seem plausible, but then I get really upset over how pathetic that is.

I don't know, I really can't think of how I'm going to get over this outside of actually fucking a girl. Which will literally never happen.
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i'm not ugly but i have a small dick and it depresses me as much as you op

i hate the feeling of being subhuman
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>>17911001
As he says. Self esteem is a deep problem that you'll probably need help with. We're not good at looking at ourselves objectively, find a therapist.

>>17911005
When this thinking starts: telling yourself you're not good enough, remind yourself that you're not an accurate judge of yourself and that you're almost definitely being too hard on yourself. Almost everyone is too hard on themselves.
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>>17911025
>remind yourself that you're not an accurate judge of yourself

then who is?
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>>17911028
Someone who helps people accurately judge themselves for a living. No joke my man, a good therapist can show you you're not the shit you think you are.
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>>17911025
>>17911039
I've seen a few therapists for issues relating to my depression. None of them really seemed to address my issues very well and I don't intend to visit one in the foreseeable future.

I once asked a girl out of desperation if I were ugly, and she responded with "You look average." I can't really take that seriously, as the fact that I've never even so much as held hands with a girl did not reflect this at all. This is the only time I've ever reached out to someone about my appearance, and it made me even more upset since it made me realise people will lie to me to make me feel good. It doesn't make me feel good at all! I'm aware of the truth!
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>>17911083
Honestly dude, I dont think of myself as being attractive at all, and i have to say my girlfriend is proper gorgeous. The fact your cock cant get hard because of your (wrong) belief is troubling. This may be beyond a therapist- try and get a referral to a psychologist.
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>>17911093
I've visited a psychiatrist. I always imagined them to be the "last resort", the one place that will fix my problems lest they be unfixable. It didn't work for me at all; I told the guy I was seeing pretty much every little grievance I had that related to my depression, including how I felt about being unattractive. By the end of the first session he admitted (with my assurance that it wouldn't fuck me up) that he was hesitant to do anything drastic with me since my problems weren't really that significant. That was my last session with any sort of mental health facility and I vowed never to return to one.

I mean, since then I actually became a lot more... satisfied with my hand in life. But the one thing that still sticks out is my appearance. I really don't think this is something that I can get over without deluding myself into thinking I'm not unattractive, which will cause me to regress to "why don't girls pay attention to me like they do all of my friends?", like a 13-year-old who just does not get it.
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op that was basically me when i was younger except i didn't have the luxury of having access to a therapist. (family was strongly against it) to get aroused, i either had to watch porn pretending to be in the actor's body with his looks or fantasize about how someone desperate (and worse looking than me) would fuck me.

you mention you're happier in your life now and it's just your appearance that's bugging you... well, as generic as it sounds, what have you been doing to improve your appearance?

analyze your appearance, there's a lot of resources out there to help figure out your face shape, the balance of your features, etc. to help bring out the best of your appearance. everyone has at least 1 attractive feature.

with the wide range of celebrities out there, is there any that resemble even the slightest? when you see that person is married and has a ton of fans who think he is attractive, have dated attractive so and so's, you'll quickly realize how appearance doesn't matter all that much when it comes to sex.

another way to get over it is to practice taking selfies and recording yourself. you'll look horrible and awkward at first, but you'd be surprised at how it takes some actual skills to find your best angle and to feel comfortable in front of a camera. you'll soon get used to your appearance and even realize you don't look all that bad at all.

i feel pretty confident as a person these days with these methods.
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>>17911319
I haven't done anything to improve my appearance. It would be a futile effort, my actual facial aesthetics are awful. I don't know any celebrities that look anything like me, but if they exist then they're probably loved by a lot of women because they're famous/talented/rich. Yeah, I know what you're getting at. Find my good qualities and grow confident in them. The thing is, I know my "good" qualities, but even more than that, I know my bad qualities overshadow them by a lot.

I used to believe that if I were to "lose the extra chub" and get into shape, it would boost my appearance by a lot. What destroyed that line of thought for me was looking back at photos of myself as a teenager. When I was 17, I was in pretty good shape, had a rad hairdo and a smoother complexion due to youth. Despite all of these improvements, my facial features were still terrible and I still looked pretty ugly! Yes, I looked "better", but I was still unattractive. Combine that with the fact that I remained completely alone throughout that period of my life and you can see why I see self-image improvement as a futile effort.

Anyway, if the only advice that applies to me boils down to "Love Yourself" and "Improve Yourself" I'm probably going to kill myself or something. It sucks not being able to even trick yourself into feeling wanted.
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I... kinda look like the guy in OP's pic.
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Alright, I give up. Thanks for trying guys.
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pic related?
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Don't listen to people here OP.

There are people on this Earth who are just incredibly fucking ugly.

You should realize this is a blessing: there are really fucking ugly girls on this Earth too.

Eventually, you'll both realize where you stand on the totem pole of sexual attractiveness, and reluctantly settle for one another. Eventually you'll both learn to like each other despite how fucking hideous you both are, and your ugly ass son will lovingly look up to you with cross eyes and say "I look just like mommy and daddy!"

Life isn't so bad, man. You just gotta realize you're an ugly motherfucker and the vast majority of human kind might feel sympathy for you, and even lie to you with little nothings like "You're average". But none of them could be paid to fuck you.

Only that incredibly hideous girl with missing teeth, crooked legs and inadequate breasts has felt the same constant rejection throughout her life to finally settle for you.

Never, ever forget this.
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>>17911738
Are there any ugly girls browsing /adv/?
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>>17910993
I get like that sometimes. Self pity is a dangerous drug. I actually feel like it now because I have a crush on someone
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>>17911738
>Only that incredibly hideous girl with missing teeth, crooked legs and inadequate breasts has felt the same constant rejection throughout her life to finally settle for you.
Nope, she still gets laid by average to good looking guys because there are literally tens of thousands more men than women in the 18-29 range.

In my state alone there are over 50,000 surplus men. This is why I gave up on women completely after spending a year working on myself. I just cannot compete with those numbers.
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>>17911802
ps nationwide that number hits 1.5 million

to put that in perspective, that's more than the entire city of Dallas, or Pheonix. An entire fucking metropolitian city full of men that no woman exists for in the entire country.

what the fuck
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>>17911834
Source for this?
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>>17911846
the census
im too lazy to dig through the 2010 one so I used the 1990 one
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I think you need a change in your attitude OP.

The first thing wrong is your putting a picture of what you consider an ugly person as your pic. There's something not right about that. Someone, somewhere is that guy, why do you get to just throw it around the internet like that? It's so disrespectful.

Secondly, you have to realize that with handicaps like ugliness you are basically playing the game on a harder mode. It's tougher. A kneejerk reaction might be to reject everything or to panic and give up, but you have to deal with the hand you were dealt.

Guys who go around thinking they're so awesome because they have a hot girl are delusional. Don't listen to them, no good will come of it.
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>>17911861
Why not give up? Is it really so bad to stop hurting yourself just to get in some girls pants?
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>>17911864
I didn't say there was no merit to giving up. Or you could give up for a while or you could be very low energy in your attempts to start anything. Everyone who is single and getting old gives up eventually. I'm guessing OP is relatively young and has some chances from his OP.
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>>17911802
yes but you forget that woman's nature is to share an alpha male among the packs of her fellow woman kind. by this metric the ugly rejects are all considered the unfuckables and must settle for one another.

>>17911861
oh for fuck's sake shut the fuck up.

look at how fucking ugly that guy in OP's pic is.

Look at it.

There is no fucking woman on Earth who isn't similarly hideous who wants to kiss that guy. Even the incredibly ugly girl can only bring herself to do it after being dumped by nerdy, ugly, fat, maladroit guys she thought she had a chance with, until she finally realized she has to set the bar even lower. Even if he had 10 billion USD to his name, most women would only play with his penis out of extreme reluctance and only on the condition that they knew they would be getting paid to do so.

It's just fucking unfair and CRUEL when you pretend some people haven't been completely shat on by God and the genetic lottery. like you really show how fucking uncompassionate you are to these objectively ugly, loner motherfuckers out there by pretending they're not ugly.

YES THEY'RE FUCKING UGLY

NO THEY'LL NEVER BE A MOVIE STAR

YES 99% OF THE HUMAN POPULATION WOULD NEVER, UNDER ANY CONDITIONS, WISH TO BE FORCED TO HAVE SEX WITH SUCH AN UGLY MOTHERFUCKER

OP IS PROBABLY A SIMILARLY UGLY

YES THEY NEED TO GET LOVED TOO BECAUSE OTHERWISE THEY TURN INTO BIN LADENS AND ELLIOTT RODGERS

god, I fucking hate people like you. like you pretend to be all loving and compassionate and sympathetic, when in reality you haven't even considered how fucking shitty it is to be born that fucking ugly. don't you see how much of an asshole you are?

>>17911864
look you just have to date a girl who has a really big scar on her face or a really fucking ugly nose or something. I mean if you don't settle for some terrible facial disfigurement, the only way to balance it out is for her to be either handicapped or very fat. I'm just sayin: you've gotta pick one or the other.
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>>17911874
>yes but you forget that woman's nature is to share an alpha male among the packs of her fellow woman kind. by this metric the ugly rejects are all considered the unfuckables and must settle for one another.
how do you come to that conclusion? seems like the uggos get delusional about their chances and reject the ugly guys

if they share that means there are even less women to go around


also even disfigured women are out of my league. i'm >>17911802 and my time has passed. even after i finish my masters and get a great job women will only be interested in my money
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>>17911884
>women will only be interested in my money

here's the great spoiler of human life:

95% of all human beings ever born were born from the vagina of a woman who was mainly interested in the man because of his money. Love is a myth, it's just you subconsciously assessing a woman's reproductive capacity (breasts, attractiveness, hip to waist ratio, youth, femininity, etc.) while she assesses your ability to garner resources.

The other 5% are men born so attractive women are willing to ignore a potential inability to provide resources simply because his genes are clearly more valuable than any amount of money he could possibly have, in the grand scheme of bettering the human race.

Mankind has always existed with men and women being equal.

Women choose the path of mankind's genetic path. Subconsciously or otherwise, women hold the ultimate power of deciding which genes pass into the future. We can never underestimate how enormous the consequences of this are on society and the nature of humanity itself.

Men have always been the resource gatherers and providers of the family. It is men who fought wars, built empires, built cities, men who died for women, men who invented almost all technologies and scientific breakthroughs. To ignore that man is both physically stronger and more logical than woman is to simply live in ignorance. So for a man to fail both in terms of genetic strength but also in terms of his ability to provide, he is quite simply, cast into the ash heap of history.

When you make peace with this universal truth of our mammalian life on Earth, maybe then you'll find some sense of peace and resolution.
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>>17911900
How can that be true when I constantly see deadbeats and losers with girlfriends? I want to believe, but the evidence in front of me says otherwise.
I cannot bear the thought of either being alone or becoming a parachute for some woman with 3 kids and a completely wrecked life. It makes my skin crawl that my only utility is an ATM for a woman who resents me and children who hate me. Makes me want to buy an RV and live in the mountains in Idaho forever.
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>>17911874
> It's just fucking unfair and CRUEL when you pretend some people haven't been completely shat on by God and the genetic lottery. like you really show how fucking uncompassionate you are to these objectively ugly, loner motherfuckers out there by pretending they're not ugly.
>
> YES THEY'RE FUCKING UGLY
>
> NO THEY'LL NEVER BE A MOVIE STAR

Don't get all emotional with me. Listen to what I am saying. 99% chance I am older than you and a lot more experienced than you, including experience being ugly.

I am saying it's disrespectful to put someone's picture up like that. I'm not claiming anything else otherwise, just saying it's disrespectful. Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's wrong, you just don't get it. And it seems to me like your emotions are what's stopping you from understanding such simple things and coming up with these ridiculous strawmen instead.
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>>17911918
those deadbeats and losers are probably just sexier than you
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>>17911005
Dude, get a hooker and get it out of your system.
I wish i did instead of going around and feeling inadequate for years and years.

If you can, get a girlfriend, but i don't think you will with this attitude.

You need professional help.
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>>17911930
well, there goes my self esteem
thank you for being truthful anon, i really appreciate it

this is why i've given up. i have a job, i'm educated, i'm tall and funny, but i just cannot compare to an unemployed stoner with bad hygiene
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>>17911944
no dude if you have all that going for you it's probably not all terrible even if you're hideous. you just have to find a girl who's ugly enough to settle for you, try to pick one that isn't a complete bitch most days. even the stoner bitches come with their own set of problems.
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>>17911884
> even after i finish my masters and get a great job
I have a Masters. Trust me, it's no guarantee of a job.

> I cannot bear the thought of either being alone
I've been alone for 4 years. You get used to it.
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>>17911969
what was yours in?
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>>17910993
>I can't help but factor myself into it, and I quickly realise that these girls would never let me touch them at all.

seriously fucked up thoughts OP, stop that.
I only read your first two posts but you seem pretty intelligent. Why don't you focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses?

Some people hyper focus on physical beauty, but that shit fades for everyone anyway.

i'm really good looking and charming as fuck. Almost everyone i meet likes me, yet I'm a depressed alcoholic drug addict because all I do is focus on how awkward i often am socially, and how I can't "connect" with people.

Really, someone with my same body and good skills could be insanely successful, if only they could stop focusing on the bullshit that comes along with who you are.

Accept who you are, you're ugly. Make jokes about it, learn to not give a fuck, because if you're cool, funny, smart, fun to be around, etc. (i.e. Things that you CAN change), most people won't give a fuck. Admittedly, it will be an initial barrier, because appearance is what everyone notices before they talk to someone, but don't let that hold you back.

Besides, if you really can't get sex and want it, you can always just pay an escort for it

Just fix your thoughts and whenever you have a bad thought about yourself, snuff it and either do something to take your mind off it, or bring your unique strengths and good parts into mind
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>>17911124
>But the one thing that still sticks out is my appearance. I really don't think this is something that I can get over without deluding myself into thinking I'm not unattractive

just accept that you're ugly man, and then work on improving other areas of your life, you can find someone who loves you regardless of your appearance.

if you keep focusing on how you're ugly, you're missing out on precious time that could be spent learning, getting fit/healthy, inventing something, creating something beneficial for people

I have a little dick, can't do much to change about that. But y'know what? I got real fucking good at using my mouth. I make girls come with my mouth enough before we even fuck that they don't care about my small dick. Some will, but hey fuck em their loss anyway

really just stop hyper focusing on your ugliness. Maybe you're "ugly" physically; everyone has some beautiful parts. And, lots of times, the physically beautiful people are nasty, vain, mean pieces of shit that you don't want to interact with anyway.
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