I need to figure out a fake doctors note for work tomorrow ASAP.

I'll help you, but first you gotta tell me why you're skipping work instead of doing the right thing and going

>>17909318
I seriously did get ill. I ate a fried burrito with an enchilada inside of it and extra caso and zesty sauce. 6 hours later I was shivering in my bed trying to sleep for work, getting little waves of nausea. All the sudden, projectile vomit on my mattress, I'm reaching for the window, vomit on that. Hang my head out the window and vomit for a long time. Whole next day my stomach was hurting, diarrhea.

The problem is, I didn't have a doctors note the last time I called out and they let it slide. I was actually sick that time too, but apparantly you have to have one everytime. I've cleaned my room by now, but I can show you pictures is the stains on my carpet. Disgusting.

>>17909436
I'm a server too, I actually want to work. I make good money from tips and I need it for rent.

>>17909436
>apparantly you have to have one everytime
I bet you, this is in your employment contract or employee handbook.

And if you were sick, you should have gone to the doctor

>>17909303
LOL it doesn't matter WHAT story you come up with dipshit, trying to forge a doctors note for new years day is not gonna go well no matter what, nobody is gonna believe you. If you really need the job, you're gonna go. If I was your manager I'd probably shitcan everybody who didn't show up new years day and was scheduled.

>>17909440
>if you were sick, you should have paid a ton of money for someone to tell you to go home and sweat it out so that your shit job wont fire you even though you will lose a week or more worth of pay in the process
sounds great

I don't really have any advice for you besides using photoshop, but that's reasonably complicated.

But I do want to rant about places that require a note for every absence - not everyone needs to go to the doctor for something that has them sick. You know when you have a cold, or the flu, you know when you got food poisoning. So instead of sitting home and getting better, you're expected to go spend 2 hours in a waiting room for a doctor to go "yep, you got food poisoning," shrug their shoulders, and walk out.

My company requires a note beginning the third day of your illness, which I think makes plenty of sense.

Always hated bosses who bragged about coming in sick, too - "yeah, I was throwing up and had a fever of 103 and was highly contagious but I still came in and got everyone else here sick because my job pushing papers is HIGHLY important and can't be delayed one day."

>>17909452
Enjoy unemployment

>My company requires a note beginning the third day of your illness, which I think makes plenty of sense.
Yes it does, but that doesn't help OP

>>17909452
>not having insurance
What are you a spic or a nigger?