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I am confused by my boyfriend's behavior. It may be my doing,

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I am confused by my boyfriend's behavior. It may be my doing, but I've noticed it as a pattern, and it's got me confused.

Bf hangs out with coworkers like once a month or so. I've met most of them and will hang out with them every few times too.

Sometimes, bf goes out with other group of coworker friends and chance has it, he never really invites me or it's times where I wouldn't be able to make it.

Whenever he does this, a female coworker that I am not entirely fond of and I am pretty sure she has a thing for my bf goes with them.


Feels like its such a coincidence that every time I do not go, she is there. Also, bf will tell me every single person who goes, except her name. But then later on snap chat, I see her in the snaps.

So tonight,
>bf had dinner with coworkers, then was going to go hang out with his good friends for a guys night
>this plan with coworkers had been set in motion for weeks
>his bros planned the hangout this week
>bf tells me it's just him and a few guys from work
>look on snapchat, that girl is also there

What annoys me is that it seems suspicious that he will never mention she's there.

At the same time, my bf already knows I don't like her. And now I am wondering if my bf never wants to say she's going so I don't freak out. However, if that's his thought process on this, him lying about it, then me seeing her in the snaps just makes me more mad because it feels like he's hiding something.

Also, I have hung out with all of them including that girl. We already met on bad terms. When we first met, she ran up to my bf from behind and grabbed his shoulder and said his name all cutesy. Then my bf got really weirded out, and introduced me. She literally shrugged me off. Then every time I've seen her after that, she never says a word to me. But will talk to my bf whenever we are separated for a moment. I act cordial with her, never express my disdain for her.

Is bf behavior because of me or is something weird
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>>17907858
He probably doesn't want to pick a fight.
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>>17907858
youve been cuck'd.
sorry about your luck, anon.
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>>17907858
My woman is a needy, childish, griping piece of shit who cries about things like this all the time. I haven't told her that the only reason we're still together is that we're in a lease together after dating for the last several years because I can't stand the idea of hearing MORE of it until this one is up in a while. I have several similar situations to yours simply because she won't do anything but play passive aggressive fun-killer all night any time another female is present because she's a jealous cunt. She also openly bitches about it FOREVER any time there's anyone female with me and a group of friends and she's not there, even if it's someone's fucking wife or girlfriend or something. The worst part is, it's not even some ploy on my part where I'm lining up the next partner, I just want to spend a couple years single after I dump her because I can't take this kind of shit anymore and I want to relax by myself and live in a quiet, clean, sane house.

This might not be your situation, he may actually be trying to get things going, but he might also just not want to hear shit from you. Really put some thought into it, and if you don't trust him then maybe consider the relationship because it's just going to make everyone miserable in the long run, I'm speaking from experience.
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>>17907871
This is what I am assuming. From the snaps, she isn't even close to him physically or anything.

At the same time, why doesn't he just let us all chill and let me recognize there is no threat? Why would he think I'd get all crazy and pick a fight? I have never been outwardly jealous like that.

I mentioned to him before that she is the only coworker who treats me like that. He said he didn't know she's like that. At the same time, I still think she likes him. Whenever we're in the same room, she always gazes over at us. She watches my bf when I'm away from him.

Even if nothing has happened, I get a feeling she's crushing on him. I feel like if we all just hung out together, she'd stop and realize we're in a good relationship.
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>>17907890
I don't just sit there and make passive aggressive comments about her. I'm not even hating on her all the time either.

It's just when all of us get together and chill, and then there's just one girl that is a total sourpuss to me, but loves to chat with my bf without me, she stands the fuck out amongst everyone else.

Then bf acts all oblivious (assuming to be nonconfrontational) but that just makes shit worse. He knows I am nonconfrontational too. I have never felt jealous towards any of his friends and all his friends and coworkers act real genuine and shit.
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>>17907900
Don't take it as an attack, but I can tell you exactly what you're talking about is the same way she started. 5 years ago it was kind of cute at best, meant nothing whatsoever at the worst. Now it's grown to a point where even a directed sigh from her is just an annoyance to me because it went from "just that one girl who I think likes you" to about 75% of the female population around me. You do obviously feel jealous about this girl, or it wouldn't matter. I doubt you'd make this same thread if there was some guy who showed up in snapchats that you kinda sorta didn't like but was a friend of the people your bf was hanging out with. Just frame it in perspective, especially considering you're saying he doesn't seem into her. Every fucking woman on the planet could potentially crush on your bf, if you're in a good relationship you have no reason to flaunt it before she can hang out with a group of several people your bf happens to be in if he's not actively making advances on her.
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>>17907922
I meant that I am not jealous of any other friends or females around him and I pretty much know and have met most of them. we've been together for about 7 years now. This girl has been like an itch I cannot scratch.

>if you're in a good relationship you have no reason to flaunt it before she can hang out with a group of several people your bf happens to be in if he's not actively making advances on her.
I guess that is true. It's just when she acts like that around me, I get defensive. Like shes kinda being a jerk so I want to just do myself some justice and be in a situation where I can socially defend myself. Meaning, I just want to be in a situation where I can talk to her too and be nice to her and be with the bf. So that if she ever has any reason to think I'm a cunt, she can be mistaken. But every time we're around her together, it's always in very large groups and I never get that chance.
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>>17907943
Not to mention, she literally hunts my bf down the moment I leave his side. So, it's really fucking weird to me.
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Look anon, some women only want to compete with other women they feel threatened by. This girl may be crushing over your boyfriend or not. But she only seems to get pushy/weird with your bf when you're around... the point is not getting your bf, it is competting with you over him. It's stupid I know, but some are like that. Your bf probably doesn't invite you because you're not inside that group of people, makes sense to skip you over her. If you trust him, you know she's not a threat.
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I had a similar scenario that ultimately did not end positively in the long run. Dating girlfriend, everything was going along great. One of her friends starts inviting her to her works after-work get togethers. At first, I'm like sure go ahead have fun. Then starts hanging out with that bunch more. I know a couple guys were using this friend to get to my girl. I bring it up once and she says of course not! It's not like that! They're a fun group! Then how come I'm never invited?

Eventually they all plan a vacation together, to which I'm casually not included. I got the memo and just distanced myself far from it.

Months later she realized her fuckup. We spent more time together but I ended up resenting her more knowing this friend was still in the picture. Wondering if this shit would happen did not fare well in my mind. I told her that we split because of her and her influence over you, she's now a liability if you want a future with me. We haven't talked for a year if you can guess how it turned out
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>>17907858
Some of those times she may have been invited later on and your bf didn't know. BUT he should have still mentioned her after that point. But remember he might not of known she was gonna be there every time.

She likes him and finds security around him. A lot of girls I've worked with are like this. Doesnt matter if the guy is single or taken and it doesn't matter if the girl is single or taken. They want that interaction where it's all flirty and friendly.

Thing is this is "normal". Please remember that. The girl has no respect for your bf and your relationship. They aren't gonna be all touchy and flirty around you or her bf if she has one. They probably wouldn't even hug as a greet if you were around. They KNOW this isn't right but it flies under the radar.

ALSO a lot of girls and guys I know get touched (arms, shoulders, waist, hugs, pecks on the cheek, flirtiness) at work and don't say shit. Even if the girl pulls away from a guy trying to flirt and grab her waist as he says something, she STILL LIKES IT. They see this as nothing harmful. But it is.

Break the fuck up with him. BUT make sure YOU don't go and let guys touch you constantly at work or school cause you see it as harmless. Verbally let them know don't just pull away slightly.
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they are mutual work-husbando amd work-waifu

That is, they are each other's little source of flirting and "emotion" in an otherwise sterile work enviroment

This is common for any relatively good looking man and lower-than-average looking woman.

This being "ok" or not is really up to you. They might never develop a REAL crush on each other or even act on it more than the eventual flirtatious conversation, but THERE IS something going on for sure.
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>>17908894
While I see that as possible. I think she is the one that is misinterpreting.

My boyfriend is always charming, funny, charismatic. He's a little weird and good looking. I know girls get attracted to him. We went to high school together and like, half the girls I knew were obsessed with him. The reason I don't like this scenario is because it's at work, somewhere I never am. And I could be completely wrong because I do not know how they act at work, but

Now that I know him, he's always just being himself, and it attracts many people to him. He's always been popular, well liked, had a large handful of women that like him. However, he is always stupidly oblivious to female attention. I even had to spell it out loud and clear that I wanted to date him. To which he was completely shocked that I felt that way about him despite (what I thought was) constant flirtation between us.

So knowing that my bf is like that. I don't think he considers her "work waifu" but I do think she considers him work husbando. If that makes any sense. I know how my bf treats most women. He like, calls every girl a dude and makes fun of them like he would a male friend. Some girls take that as "omg him and I are so close"
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>>17908820
Good riddance, my friend. Similar story here but in my case my ex was the one who wojld exclude me (some deep rooted fear of commitment amf imaginary constraints on her freedom because of her previous relationship). I was patient but finally told her how it is not acceptable if she is in a long term comitted relationship with me. 3 months since broke up with her. Muss her but not going back to dealing with that kind of shit.
I think you did well.
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