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I don't feel comfortable around my boyfriend anymore. I

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I don't feel comfortable around my boyfriend anymore. I feel like I'm not good enough for him. It makes me anxious and stressed out. He has criticized me a lot, not even in a mean way, but now I can't relax when he's around, even if nothing is wrong. How do I fix?
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>>17906672
Test
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>>17906672
criticized in what way? also have you talked about it with him?
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>>17906672
It's not about being good enough for eachother, it's about treating each other well and being supportive.

You don't have to pass some height or IQ test to be worthy. Just, if he likes you, and if you're both willing to concede in arguments where it's reasonable, everything should be fine.

Please provide context for more specific advice.
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>>17906680
>>17906681

Criticized about, like, if I don't respond to something in the way he would like or expect, he gets upset and it causes a huge misunderstanding. He feels jealous sometimes so if I'm talking to other people and don't go about it in a very careful way, it can make him upset. He has criticized me for not being able to carry a conversation on very well and he gets bored. All these things we can talk over and try to work it out calmly but still, it's like, taking a toll on me. It's too much to worry about all the time. His standards are so high.
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>>17906689
What does "go about it in a careful way" mean?

Jesus, I'd have a hard time talking to him too.
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>>17906709
I dunno like I can't be too friendly or he'll get upset but, if I am standoffish he'll ask me why I was being rude lol
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>>17906717
doesn't sound like a relationship worth staying in
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>>17906728
Seconded. Just... just go.

He sounds like my bitch of a mother.
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There has to be a better way...I don't want to break up. I'm not asking on advice on how to change him. Despite how bad this sounds, I'm actually still willing to try to rise to his expectations and please him but, it seems like it's backfiring.
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>>17906770
I understand that you may like the guy, but you have to realize that he sounds like an insufferable pill in our limited context.

If he has balancing virtues, I'd suggest reading some books about social interaction. The Presentation of the Self in Everyday Life by Erving Goffman is an interesting social anthro book that is kind of a fun read and it helped me a lot. Granted, I have military-grade asperger's, but I think most people would still find the author's look at social interaction insightful.

Also, go to meetups alone, without Mr. Judgy, and practice talking to people casually. He'll be hard-pressed to become jealous of something like a book club or photography meetup, so that would take care of the other problem. It would also give you an interesting hobby or experience to talk about, a third problem.

Remind him that conversations take two people. Maybe you're not the one being a buzzkill every time.
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>>17906689
>>17906672
If you really want to stay with him tell him that he doesn't give you enough personal freedom to develop some self-esteem and it makes you miserable. Tell him he needs to both make himself clear in what he wants and two give you more personal freedom.

Everybody in here is telling you to dump him but they don't realize that our culture has made many men distrusting of women.
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>>17906829
>>17906807
I think this is good advice. Thank you anons.. And I'll look into that book.

Yeah it sounds like he's awful but keep in mind these are only the bad things. There are many more things that I love about him.
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>>17906948
I dont want to sound rude but this crap just kills me, If you are not good enough for the guy find someone of your league, normal girls nowday get so much fucking demand they think they can go for something better they are, get destroyed by a better person and get dumped for not being able to keep up

Then you all proceed to say all guys are the same.
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>>17907390
You don't sound rude, just ignorant.

I said it makes me feel like I'm not good enough, not that I'm not. This is only because I'm choosing to play his game. I could walk away at any moment if I didn't think he was worth it.

You sound like you have a chip on your shoulder though.
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>>17907412
Im just roasted because even after being such a normal looking person i cant even get into a relationship or have sex even by trying really hard and spending lot of my time texting and trying to figure out what to text in order to not be ghosted

Really just makes me mad if i would be the same person in a girl body i would get constant directs on dudes hitting me on instagram

Thanks for sounding though.
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Just in case anyone cares to know, I talked to him about it. He was incredibly understanding and supportive...he suggested that it sounded like this was an emotionally abusive relationship in which I was a victim. And he told me I should try setting boundaries and he would do anything he can to help.

So yeah. This is the kind of person he is. This why I'm not going to just break up.
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>>17906689

Maybe just get a different boyfriend.
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>>17906672
Tell him that he's criticising you too fucking much and that you don't feel like you can just relax and be yourself around him.

My bf had the same problem and I just told him that he was making me feel like shit with his constant nit picking and it died off.
Thread posts: 19
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