How do I get over a girl I obsessed over way too much? I've

>bumping on /adv/

Why do you think she's perfect?

Same except we were good friends and after she dumped me, I lost our friends. I want to die.

>>17898513
She makes me feel like no one else has. She is caring, affectionate, intelligent, independant...her smile is the widest I've ever seen (no exaggeration) and her body is amazing, really.
It hurt typing this.

>>17898513
answer this, op...

i know it feels awesome to feel like you finally met someone that just "gets you". i know it feels like walking on clouds when you have hope that she might be capable of loving you back the same way you would be capable of loving her. this is very rare and thus hard to cope with if you can't have it.

speaking of it, why can't you?

>>17898540
how good do you know her?

>>17898542
Just did.
I can't have her because I either friendzoned her or she friendzoned me, I can't tell. I basically misread every sign over the months and just couldn't bring myself to ask her out because I'm anxious as hell and didn't want to mess up... and it cost me. According to her friend she's in a "definition phase" of some kind which implies she's getting together with some other guy. I tried to ask her about him stealthily but she wouldn't comment on it... she knows what I'm up to but yeah... Basically I did nothing but fuck up especially these past weeks.

>>17898547
Too well. We hung out twice with a couple of her friends before the semester and then we did some assignments together at uni because she basically knows nobody there except me. I feared that would make us too good of friends to lead to something, it probably did.

>>17898548
if her interest in you was serious, it will not have vanished just because you didn't make a move. maybe ahe pushed them away and triwd to move on agter she figured you aren't interested, but i'd say you should still give it a try.
how did you fuck up tough?

>>17898552
Basically I went full needy... long story. I guess there's a shot, if a slim one (her friend told me not to bother although she ssemed not to know anything either). I wanted to go to the gym with her today but she declined, I then asked her if she would be down to do something on New Year's, but over text. She suggested eating at her place with some of her friends... I tried to psych myself up to call her and clarify I wanted us to do something alone together but instead I wrote back "cool, is your boyfriend coming? :)"... I'm making one dumb move after another. If this doesn't pan out it's 100% due to my ineptitude.

>>17898555
Btw she read the text and hasn't replied, as I expected.

>>17898555
what did you want to achieve with this text?

>>17898566
FIgure out where she's at with that guy. She won't say so all I can do is guess and my mind goes straight to the worst. If she had just said something like "he's not my bf" or "i'm not seeing anyone" or "I'm not sure about him" or even "yeah he's coming <3" I could ask her out or get some clarity at least. Now I basically played myself. Can't tell if she won't talk about because a) she's shy b) she's on to me and ignores me or c) because she's still interested in me and gets mad when I tak to her as if I wasn't interested (it's not c).

>>17898571
well, i guess honesty is the only way to olve this without destroying any eventually left chances. text her: "with that last text, i tried to find out if you're still single or not. because if you are, i'd really like to take you out on a date."

ofc you show vulnerability and ut yourself up for an embarassing rejection, but that's what it takes to get wih someone. guts and vulnerability.

>>17898609
Yeah I was thinking about that. Ofc I would've loved to ask her out in person today and be rejected without making an ass of myself like that, but what can you do. I guess texting's the only way.

>>17898619
texting isn't as bad as people make it out to be. you're still comunicating. it's still "what you want to tell her" vs "what she wants to tell you".
be honest and keep us updated

>>17898477
Either try to get together with her or do the exact opposite. Convince yourself that you have no more reason to like her, because you will never have her. Find some bad trait that you find annoying/bad and try to exaggerate it.

I'm not sure what else you can do. There isn't much a person can willingly change about thier emotions. You're just going to have to deal with it like millions of other people.

>>17898625
Oh my fucking god, I just slipped and sent her the text. I think I worded it really well and upbeat. Well, all I can do is wait now. At least this is finally over, whichever way it goes. Stay tuned for the answer. :-/

She replied. Short text. Can't be good. Kill me.

"I'm single but still taken, sorry!"

I'm going to fucking off myself. Life is pain,

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Oh my god what do I do against this pain I can't think straigth anymore.

Hate to bump this even more but I'm fucking devestated and I need someone to talk to, none of my friends are answering.

Was in a simular situation in my early 20's.
I started working out and dated more. There's Tinder now, witch makes things easier.
Remember, there's always someone better out there than the person you obsess over or end up dating.

>>17898710
I'm so fucking lonely and depserate at this point. Tinder doesn't yield any matches anymore, I either fucked my ELO or I'm ugly. Dating is so hard because I'm shy. There's no way someone like her is gonna come along...

>>17898540
I feel the same way. I've been trying to sleep more. I work with this girl very close on the weekends. I get to smell her, be so close we touch, it really is hell. I got turned down but it was a very soft no so I still orbit. Fuck life. Just fuuuucccckkkk it.

>>17898712
You're not shy, you've got low self esteem. Hence why working out will help.

>>17898725
I AM working out. I dress nicely. I'm tall and fit. I can't land the girls I want and at this point I don't want to live anymore. What am I even living for if I'm so lonely all the time?

>>17898696
Read the whole thread. Sorry Op. I wish you the best. This is probably the worst pain a single young man can feel. Not being able to have the only thing in the world he wants. Just know lots of guys are going through the same thing.

>>17898730
I'm sick of repeating this feeling over and over. My brain is slowly turning to mush and I want to escape this shit. Why bother?

>>17898735
Everyone wants to feel loved. I'm not okay. I just try to keep busy. I find myself with unreasonable bouts of anger. Keeps me awake at night, distracts me at work, especially when she's there. Point is, my brain is mush too. I'm not dealing, I'm coping. I'd like to say gets better but it doesn't. At least not for me since I'm forced to interact with her. I get a few days awayfrom her, start to tell myself I don't care, then I see her on Friday at work and everything I've tried to train myself into feeling goes right out the window. She's so pretty, soft, smells so good. Life sucks.

>>17898757
Suicide pact? I was thinking of driving to the hardware store and buying a rope right now.

>>17898761
Lol. Forgot to mention that weed and alcohol help. I smoke an unholy amount. It's the only thing that helps. If you can call drug abuse help. Fuck well, weed and listening to other fucks problems online. Helps a little to know you're not alone.

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>>17898683
wow... what ever the fuck that means.

might be better off without her. wither she's single or taken, but this whole "it's complicated" stuff is just not what you need.


i'm sorry, op. this hurts like a motherfucker.
i'm still proud of you for sending that text. atleast now you know what's going on.

Don’t keep thinking of the end of this as tragically sad: the only good relationship, the only relationship worth mourning, would be one to which two people desperately wanted to belong. This wasn’t – in the end – despite all the signs – that kind of a relationship at all.

Don’t connect up the rejection with everything you fear and hate about being you.

Believe her what she implied. She's not interested. Don’t imagine that her past sweetness and kind words provided any covert indications of future commitment. Kill any remaining hope yourself since she didn't quite have the courage to do so.

Don’t attempt to minimise what has happened. Being ‘brave’ has no place here: allow your sadness so much room, so much time, so many melancholic songs, drinks, faps and even tears, until you eventually bore yourself back into an appetite for life.

this sucks. but even this will pass. you will not die from it unleas you kill yourself. which would be way out of proportion and not justifyable at all.

How long have you felt this pain? If it's been for a long time, you should consider travelling to different parts of the world, and check out the women there.

>>17898804

What the fuck? There are cool women everywhere. He just needs to remove the blindfold of his obsession.

>>17898782
>Don’t connect up the rejection with everything you fear and hate about being you.

Oh my god that's exactly what hurts me so much.I just feel like a freak and totally unlovable. I haven't cried this hard since I was about 6.

>>17898835
pfc you do. it's the normal thing to do. you think she rejected you for all your flaws. but honestly, she probably doesn't even know, mind or notice half the flaws you think you have.
she has her reasons, but they usually are not only you not being worthy. and often not even close to the degree you think they are.

this isn't about you being worthless or not deserving of love and affection. it's about this not happening for a variety of reasons. that's the most important thing to keep in mind when dealing with rejection.

>>17898935
Don’t imagine anyone can love on command. The capacity to feel attracted lies outside the will. It isn’t a question of not trying hard enough. Remove morality from it: she wasn't being ‘bad’ for not loving, nor were you ‘good’ for wanting her. You were both on the search for pleasure that took you down different and conflicting routes. Don’t turn this into a morality tale.

>>17898950
At no point did I blame her for this. Nor did I feel like I was owed anything. All it is is lost hope and broken dreams. I'm just done.

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bump

I can't deal. Somebody talk to me.

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I'm so fucking lonely. I can't find a gf and every girl I like rejects me, tell me it's gonna be alright. I'll turn 24 soon and never had any real experience. Life sucks so hard right now.

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>>17899012

Hey op

send us the conversation

im pretty much in the same situation, but she has a guy now

I try to workout to forget it

Really don't know what to say man. I think I've met the love of my life but will be moving away in less than 2 months and probably won't ever see her again. I know that even though circumstances will be different I'll likely feel the same emotions you're feeling right now. I'm lucky because I've always been able to control my emotions to some extent with rational thoughts and logic. I know that I feel like she is the one and only but rationally that isn't true at all. There are plenty people out there and I'm sure you are still young just as I am so we are fortunate enough to still have plenty of opportunity to find love again. Most of what everyone has said in the thread so far is right, it will be hard and it will feel like the end, but if there is one thing you need to know to pull you through it is that it isn't. Feelings fade, ask anyone, engage in hobbies and things to fill your time with so they fade faster, but just know that in the end you will pull through no matter how fucking shit you feel now. I will be feeling the same as you soon and this is what I will be telling myself to pull me through. Good luck, seek comfort in knowing at least you're not alone :)

>>17899052
I'm 24... not exactly young. The way things are going I'll definitely settle for a woman I hate or none at all. Fuck this, like seriously fuck it.

>>17899061
I'm serious, I fear I will never get the woman I want. I will always feel this way and truly be alone. Why live like this?

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>>17899061
>>17899075

Come on man, stop wasting your time crying about that bitch

man up and workout

Have a motivation song and stop making urself sad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nur9di8eYQs

im sure youre a cool guy, you dont deserve that

>>17899078
I AM working out. Nothing works. All the cool girls want nothing to do with me. I feel I'm at least an ok guy but life shits on me. I don't want to end up alone at 40yo and have to go on pathetic blind dates, I'm fucking 24 already.

>>17899085
There are so many girls around the world, you can meet anyone.

Dont be sad after a rejection and keep on

look it at a positive site after rejection like that:

>This girl doesn't deserve a man like me
>Pfft, her bad luck

not like that:

>Mimimi im so alone, no one wants to be my gf

just try try and try

>>17899096
How can I feel this way if no girl ever wants me back? How isnt the logical conclusion that I'm just inferior?

>>17899102
Did you even try it?

Then work on your personality

Body language, speak methods are a big success to girls.

Get some new hobbies, update your social media, add new girls and talk to them.

You are young, you can do anything

>>17899111
>You are young, you can do anything

I'm 24. No experience. People my age are married with kids. Am I not just lying to myself here? What life can a guy like me even have? I'm not trolling I just really don't see it anymore.

>>17899116
24 ISNT EVEN AN AGE

My granddad is 79 and is still doing sports and enjoying his life

>People my age are married with kids

They're bound to their kids while you have freedom.

>Am I not just lying to myself here?

No, you dont need to have a family in this age.

>What life can a guy like me even have?
You can do EVERYTHING, but you have to do something for it

Stop, really just stop being depressed about a girl.

A girl I loved also rejected me the painfulest way she could.

So what?

Life continues.

>>17899129
>No, you dont need to have a family in this age.

No, but a least some fucking prospective girlfriends. I have NOTHING. My life is okay but I must look hideous or something. I'm sorry for my depressed rambling I might need to get myself checked in for a year or so.

Fuck you, stop being such a faggot and listen to these people trying to help you. Stop complaining and whining about it all. These people are speaking from experience, you feel like shit so of course you're thinking like shit too. Seriously just shut the fuck up and listen to them. 24 is still young. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Don't try and nitpick what they are saying but just listen to them and trust that it is the right thing to do. Anyone can feel bad about themself, and if you want any chance of finding a girl that's perfect just like her then stop being pathetic cause no girl wants some sad pathetic guy that just moped and complains. At least pretend you feel better or find a way to convince yourself that's the case cause that's the only way out of this hole the way you're acting rn. I'd say good luck but it has nothing to do with luck, just do whatever helps pass time so you get over it even if you feel like you never will and find the next "dream girl"

>>17899150
Girls aren't everything, they are mostly exhausting to deal with as gf

>oh lets shopping
>help me doing this
>turn off your vidyas and spend time with me

good luck op

>>17899172
They're what I'm missing. Everybody says "be happy to be by yourself" but none of these people are as alone as me.

>>17899176
>but none of these people are as alone as me.

Let me tell you a secret special snowflake, that's BS. If you are so alone, then work on it. Not only on a GF, make friends and have fun. If a girl paying attention to you is the difference between being alone or not, then you are doing it wrong. You need a support network beyond a single person.

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>>17899176
Once you have a gf, you will remember back to this thread hopefuly haha

But now you need to get over her and take care of yourself being not depressed.

Develope yourself in a positive way.

And dont try to make another thread about that, because you will get the same replies as before.

You're cool op, but don't be so whinely.

Be responsible for your actions and man up.

And no, you're definitely not alone

>>17899172
Not op
She's like a best friend with a pussy
Plays vidya with me
Buys me food
Cheers me up all the time
She's perfect and would be my dream wife

As someone said before, I am sure too u are a cool guy, read the entire thread.
What Im here to say is that you should look at it differently, honestly, for me, a very realistic/optimistic way:
She lost someone who really cared for her, you lost someone who doesnt, actually wherever you see it, she lost way more than you did, I know you feel awful but even though everyone says this, she wasnt the one, maybe your desire was the one that turned into such a perfect woman.
Im sure youll find THE ONE, look, if a bunch of stranger care about you/your situation, there has to be someone who does the same way.

Masturbate. Twice. Then tell us again what makes her so perfect.

>>17899273
I guess you're right... I still feel like absolute shit.

>>17899273
but also, she wasn't just hot, she was so much more. Her presence lit up the room.

I know exactly how you feel OP, I have been obsessing over a girl that is perfect to me. She is the first girl I have had feelings for. But I can't be sure if she is open for a relationship and is she were to shut me out or reject me I would be absolutely devestated, but props to you for asking her out. I can't tell you there will be another perfect one for you out there because I haven't been there yet. Be sad for as long as you need, you can only go up hill from here

>>17899720
M8, thanks for your words. All I can tell you is: Go for it. Now. There's no point dreaming of that girl if she's not interested, it's even worse if she IS interested but you still do nothing. I'm devestated and depressed right now but if I hadn't done it I wouldn't get anywhere.
Do it and report back to me.

>>17898477
Why haven't you asked her out yet for fuck's sake?

>>17899744
You should read the thread, it's a wild ride with a shit ending...

>>17899783
Yeah, I just finished reading it now. He could still tell her how he feels to get it off his chest. I went through something similar in my early 20s and telling her my feelings did help. She respected me for telling her as well, but she had a boyfriend. Strangely enough though we ended up making out when we were both drunk at a party. Nothing more happened because I think she regretted cheating. That just messed me up even more to be honest. I guess I was young and naive enough to believe that after that makeout session she was going to leave him for me. I thought I had successfully stolen her away. In hindsight I am glad I didn't steal her. If I could have stolen her then someone could have stolen her from me later.

I know how you feel
Frist realise she not perfect, stop putting her on apetistle. Strat focosing on other things like your friend project and work basicle distract you're self. And kys

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>tfw 24 too

I unfortunately know that feel. Don't know how to lose the obsession. And feel like time has run out.

>>17901314
Pedestal

you're insecure op

>>17901455
Story time?

>>17898477
>How do I get over a girl I obsessed over way too much?
>I've been crushing on her for about half a year, she's perfect in every way and I can't imagine finding anyone better than her
Get some fucking sense.

You have a case of oneitis, it is easy to fix.
Consider the facts, what do you actually know about her? have you ever actually spoken to her and had a conversation beyond small talk? or do you just stalk her online and see what you want to see?

Keep in mind that you are filling in the blanks with what your ideal woman is, she might be a turbo cunt but you imagine her being perfect because you somehow got invested in her being "perfect".

Presuming you aren't totally beta, I'll imagine you asked her out at some point, if she rejected you (she didn't say "yes") accept that and move on, stop looking for her, realise she isn't perfect and that there are going to be plenty of available women who are better than her.
tl;dr she isn't that great, get over it.

Having a oneitis is just a sign that you need to get a life. You need options, abundance, goals, responsibilities. Your life is so empty that all you see is them.

The thing is, if you ever do get with her she won't live up to the expectations of you're imagination, and she knows that, that is why she won't want to be with you. Women are jealous of our superior imaginations. every girl that I ended up banging after my balls dropped that I had crushes on when I was a beta pussy. none uf them lived up to my expectations and self manipulation. move away from her and next time you get that feeling for a girl make a move soon, either she goes for it or no, but that way you know if she is the one for you. your sole mate

Stop being a turd. Practice vocal inflection exercises (sing alone, nobody wants to hear you sing), go to the same bar every day for 1 month, play foozball, be charming, hang out with some old people. You're a turd bitch and nobody likes you, get over it. Download tinder but if you feel like killing someone at some point during the date, wait til its over and off yourself. You'll be fine

>betta pussy
like OP. I know you are a beta pussy, and you should kill your self, but not in a romantic way like Romeo and Jullet. but in a boring gay fag ass way like you deserve. slowly lower your self into a casket full of liquid nitrogen, surrounded with a 144 white roses, and as you slowly lower, carve her name into your veins so as you bleed out your blood freezes in her name, and frizzed dries her name in bllod and you will be mummified, a virgin duck pussy bitch. have your body stored and arrange for it to be delivered to her wedding, and when she and her husband chad open the gift at the reception, her and her family and all of the guests will have a good full elly laugh at what a duck you are because you will look like a skinny fussy mummy because all of your blood will be drained out of you and frozen in her name, and everyone will laugh because this girl you love will have turned into a fat slut (just like all women do) and at least half of the guests at the wedding will have banged her in every hole except you. but for fun she will try and bang you mummified corspse at the wedding reception, but the cage you keep your dick in will have shrunk and frozen your dick off, so you can't even get your mummy corpse fucked because you are a dickies bitch for all of eternity!!!! suck on your dog's balls, oh wait your dog doesn't have balls because your mom cut them off and ate them, she probably cut your balls off and ate them too, because your mom is a slut whore and so is your grandma.

>>17901455
How has time run out?

I just recently turned 24 and am a virgin. There's this girl I work with in which I confused her attention for attraction. She is just a really nice person and I genuinely believed she liked me.

It sucks, there are days where I tell myself to not give a shit, but it all comes back. I never really chased/made the first move because I feel like a fuck up. I dropped out of college, I don't know how to drive, I don't go out much to parties nor do I drink and I've never played beer pong. I don't smoke anything at all. I'm everything the girl I thought liked me isn't. That's why I was attracted to her. I believed that if we were to be together then I would start to take in these habits (mainly the way she is genuinely nice to people and knowing basic things that everyone should know).

Doesn't matter now, she's been using Tinder and I wad ignoring her for a while and she would try to get my attention but I know that she'll never be with me. When I finally hit her up, she was on a date.

But yea, basically I've done things that the you typically would do/suppose to do as a teenager therefore I don't chase girls because tbe majority of them expect things like that from you.