Well /adv/isors. I did it. I had sex for the first time.

Was it worth waiting until your wedding night?

You freaked yourself out so much your body went into shock I did the same thing the first time I went into a fire fight dw about it you'll be better next time it's just too much anxiety

>>17897946
I waited a year to have sex with him. Not sure a marriage wouldnt be the same.
>>17897947
Thanks man. That seems reasonable. I just feel so sad. Post sex depression.

>>17897939
>is something wrong with me
Absolutely not, every girl and almost every guy feel like that, and not just for the first time. The goal isn't to stick penis in vagina, the goal is to feel good, both of you. Just relax, take it slowly and don't force yourself to do what you think you're expected to do.

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>>17897950
I think , dear OP, this is a case where there is so much involved that you freaked yourself out. I wouldn't worry, you shouldn't be sad. You will be absolutely fine.

>is something wrong with me
absolutely:
>I waited a year to have sex with him. Not sure a marriage wouldnt be the same.
you kept this poor guy waiting for a year.

tbf my first time was shitty too, for both of us it felt way too tense and we could both not enjoy it or feel too much, after that we were both really depressed about it but a few hours later we tried it again and it went great.

Just wait until you realize the rest of life is like this too, OP.

Most things only have the meaning you allow them to have. That having been said, there's nothing quite like sex as a way to feel close to someone you want to be close to.

Nothing wrong with you, it's the same with anything; the first few times are all about learning a new experience.

>>17897979
Lol i didnt keep him waiting. Our schedules are just fucked up. We couldnt meet in hs and then he left for the air force.
>>17897981
I just feel so fucking sad.

>>17898002
Are you taking antidepressants? Do you have a history of abuse? Maybe there are other things you haven't mentioned.

I saw a handful of first times with girls and DESU they all seemed to enjoy it. Maybe you were scared or too nervous? A lot of its about letting go, if you can't do that for some reason you maybe won't enjoy it.

Idk kiddo, don't get down, sounds like you're still learning your body etc. Don't let it get you down.

>>17898028
Your anecdotal evidence that girls are supposed to enjoy their first time is probably the last thing she wants to hear.

>>17898031
Yes, you're right, but it's simply to illustrate that nothing was wrong, and she just psyched herself out a bit.

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you have aids.

3 months to live

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>>17898028
Never had a history of abuse. I am just generally an extremely shy person and already have had depression.

This was just so bad. I didnt feel ANYTHING except pain. No pleasure when he entered me. I am concerned something is wrong with me.

*hug*

*hugs tighter*

*let's out a really tiny high pitched fart*....

It's gonna be okay... c:

>>17898061
oh err... you can take a tylenol and put ice on it to numb the lady parts. goes away

>>17898070
or take a warm shower

Not sure if anyone will read this but now i have stomach cramps. Fuck. Im shipping for army basic training next week. If im sick. I cant go

>>17897939
OP, you're raped.

well if your cunt isn't trained by tampons, yeah it'll hurt more than it should, but still. maybe you have a fucked up vagina. i had a friend with that problem. her vagina was too tight and couldn't fit any guy in and it hurt her to have sex. i think it was a medical problem too. idk, the first time isn't the greatest and of course you're going to experience pain, but your experience sounds like you were abused while having your first time so.... lol

>>17898882
He wasnt pushy and he tried to get me wet. I just wasnt into it. I wanted him to be happy and just feigned enjoyment the entire time. I couldnt feel his finger inside me and at one point i think he mightve been putting fingers in my butt. I couldnt tell.

>>17898990
>I wanted him to be happy and just feigned enjoyment the entire time
that sucks, don't do that

>>17898997
Well i like him. I just didnt want to be a dead fish.

God.
Why couldnt i feel anything.
He started fingering me and i didnt realize it til i looked down.

The first time pretty much lways sucks, you also said you waited one year so it might be too much pressure and anxiety. If you till fill like that in a month or two then start to worry

>>17898858
take a hot shower and drink a sleeping tea, or take a valium along with that.

but the hot shower should be enough. hang in there lady.

>>17899032
just sit in the tub and let the hot water spray on you for a while.

Hahahaha. Your egay anon.

Sounds like you were so petrified of something (sex, not pleasing the person, anticipation of pain, etc.) that you went fight-or-flight, locked up, your body thought you were dying, and you de-realized. It's a well-understood psychological phenomenon.

Talk to your SO and let them know what happened. Find out why you were so goddamned petrified and resolve that situation. Then try again in a situation where you're comfortable and ready.

Sex isn't a big deal.

>>17897939
It hurts for girls on their first time.

It took my first girl and I 3 weeks of trying before I could fit in and then when we managed it was because I told her to go doggy style with her face on the bed.

She cried and told me she didn't want it to be that way for her first time and, well, I consoled her that technically her first time was the split second I went inside and she popped off like a pressure rocket.

Don't be sad, the pain of a girl's first time is as good a telling as any that sex is about a process of bonding over weeks and months, not smacking your privates together on a one nighter.

Also, this thread is n'aww levels of adorable.

>>17898028
>I saw a handful of first times with girls and DESU they all seemed to enjoy it.
Most if not all were acting to please you, but not feeling anything. Porn skews young girls' perception of how they are supposed to feel and act during sex. Not all, but many girls feel nothing, pain, or shame during their first time.

>>17897939
Congrats on losing your virginity, I suppose. Now, I'm a virgin here, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but here's some reasons why it may not have been as satisfying for you as you thought it would be.
>not enough foreplay before the act
>rough penetration meant more tearing, less pleasure
>most women do not get off via penetration alone
>too nervous during your first time

>>17899086
Well I don't even hug my own parents. Having my parents fingers brush against mine even disgusts me. That's just how I was raised... to be disgusted by other people. But I also crave being touched. One time a cadet was patting peoples backs as a way of counting them and I was really happy he patted mine.

>>17899834
Maybe I'm also sad because that'll be the last time I'll ever see him because I'm leaving for army training next week then leaving for another city entirely.
>>17899840
I was entirely acting like I liked it. I was touching his arms and shit like how I planned I would. I started thinking about Dishonored 2 the entire time. When we were done I kept thinking. "Dishonored 2. Better than sex".

>>17899873
>>most women do not get off via penetration alone
why do women have to have the shit end.

>>17897939

You were afraid of sex. You probably didn't know how you were supposed to react. It will be okay. A therapist wouldn't hurt, to be honest.

FOREPLAAAAAAYY

>>17898063
Lmao where have u been all my life

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i need to release more pent up thoughts.

His face also freaked me out. He was so close and I couldn't stop laughing most of the time. His face was distorted like
>pic related

And his lips are pretty big, he like swallowed my face.

I didn't mention what he did after either.
>he asked if i wanted to spend the night
>sure
>what time do you want me to leave?
>"well before i leave for work. if you could leave before i wake up that would be best because im so awkward i the morning"
>oh.
>ok
>since we were at his dorm on base I couldn't get a uber.
> would need to walk a mile to the gate to get one to me at 6am
>well maybe i should just leave now
> have his friend and him drive me back home
ahh im crying again,

when we were in the dorm he told me how cute I was and how he would've dated me in high school the entire time.

Consensual sex is the most beautiful thing in this universe. It creates life and it binds us to the universe. We all have a journey in this life, yours may be slower or faster than others. Let it go babe, what you experienced was perhaps a shock because you were too nervous. Key is to experiment and to destroy all those walls that say 'sex is bad, sex is evil, sex makes you a whore'. We are the universe experiencing itself, open your mind to experience :)

>>17900312
there was plenty of foreplay.

>>17900335
Sounds like you had sex not because you wanted it, but more because of social pressure. And that is fine, we all make mistakes. Sex is an exchange of energies, and hooking up for the sake of hooking up (or merely to fill up that feeling of loneliness) is extremely detrimental for your self-image and self-esteem. We all have done it, don't worry! Let's just learn from it :)

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>>17900338
it scares me so much that when people ask if im a virgin i will say no. its like it didnt even happen. this board emphasizes sex so much. people even threatening suicide if it doesn't happen before a certain age. i honestly think if i try hard enough i could forget the entire event even happened... and maybe I will.
>"literally anything. better than sex"

>>17900359
Rule no.1 : The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>17900346
this is true. i made it a promise to myself i would lose it before i left for basic training.
Thank you so much for your support. Unironically god bless you.

>>17900359
Instead of running away from what happened (which doesn't do anything at all) I would recommend for you to start taking responsibility for your life this very moment. Own it up, accept it as your responsibility, face it and know that since you are responsible for it you have fully control on how to respond to it.

You fucked up and followed up the advice from a board full of idiots? Who the fuck cares, own it up. Next hing is: how do you fix it?

>>17897939
Dear OP,

It is HARD to make sex good for the girl. If the man is more experienced it gets easier, or naturally talented, I guess.Guys are easier, we basically always have the good time, we get excited if the girl shows up. The good part for you is when the girl is feeling orgasm, then it is a stronger, more fulfilling feeling than in guys. But getting there takes time and patience unless the guy is a naturally ultragifted Casanova.

The tips are:

- FOREPLAY! and MORE FOREPLAY! And then some more. He needs to do his part.
- RELAX, this is for your enjoyment (eventually)

With these two, you should at least stop feeling pain most of the time. Make sure that you tell him when he hurts you so he stops, and goes more slowly or some other way.

The next steps:

- Learn what excites you and what doesn't and tell him that
- PRACTICE! Make the next time better. Every time.
- Most girls get off only if stimulated at least two ways simultaneously. Till he learns how to do that for you, you get to learn to enjoy partly enjoyable sex, not fully satisfying. But work on improving that every time and eventually you will be able to get off..
- I think most shy women prefer to be on top, makes them feel in control and relax easier.

If he does not want to work on this with you, just dump the sucker. If he does, do your part and try to make it as exciting for him as you can, particularly once you get a little more comfortable about sex.

>>17900346

Can you elaborate more on the 'exchange of energies' idea?

>>17900370
>how do you fix it?

Cry. Eat. And then push it out of mind entirely :). Jk

I donno. I guess I'll try to relax more.

>>17900392
tl;dr You need an open mind to analyse this information - take whatever feels good for you from this info. You don't get a cupcake for believing in it.

https://urbanwellnessmag.com/2016/03/03/cleansing-the-aura-of-past-sexual-partners/

>>17900427
hint: own your mistake up, understand that you are fully responsible for it and take positive actions to avoid doing it again

>>17900367
I feel sad for girls who think this way..

not too long ago a girl came on /adv/ talking about the same thing (needing to lose it before going to army). i told her it totally isn't a necessity, but she had it in her head that she wanted something to talk about with other girls in the army (sex talk, etc) so she could identify with em n shoot the shit.

then this thread happens and i think of her.. desperation makes us do crazy things.. i dunno I just wish you the best.

>>17900452
What was my mistake?

I dont regret sleeping with him. Im glad i got to experience it. Cuddling and foreplay was nice, he made me feel good about myself with the constant compliments. I just thought the (w)hole penetration part sucked ass. (Puns intended)

>>17900462
Lolololol that was my post.

>>17900472
Sorry, I chose the wrong word because I am internally biased. I wanted to mean 'own the situation'.

>>17900475
well dang.. heh.. small world..then again, I do post often here too.. God bless you sweetheart.. *huge hug* better days from now on.

desu I've been posting on this thread since the beginning. the whole warm shower and sleeping tea thing was me. feel better!

>>17900295
>Well I don't even hug my own parents. Having my parents fingers brush against mine even disgusts me. That's just how I was raised... to be disgusted by other people
That's a serious and likely very ingrained response that might take you years of therapy to overcome. I know it's not much but you have my sympathies.

>I was entirely acting like I liked it
It's less relevant because apparently this is the last time you'll ever see him (?), but if you were going to continue your relationship you'd need to tell him what really happened. No one wants their partner to be in the midst of a fear-induced out-of-body-experience when they're fucking. They want their partner to feel good, otherwise they may as well masturbate.

tl;dr: you need therapy

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>>17900486
Watch out for part 3 haha. Thanks ill definitely try that.
>>17900495
Worst part is. Im not sure i can even seek help. The army doesnt really look to kindly to going to therapy. I dont want to ruin my chances to commission either. Ill try my hardest to figure it out on my own though.

Thank you.

>>17900505
>pt 3
you're bad lol

but seriously, God bless you. and take care, take it one day at a time.

>>17900367
Oh no, no wonder. I'm sorry :(
Sex is a very intimate thing. I can't even get aroused if I don't like the guy. I love seeing my boyfriend all up close and distorted like that. We press our noses together and laugh about how we turn into cyclopses.

One of my exes, I had a similar reaction to you. His big mouth coming towards me made me panic. Kissing him felt gross.
My current boyfriend? I can't stop kissing him. I'll kiss him whenever our friends leave the room. I'll kiss him in the middle of sentences. I just love it.

It sounds like you're freaking out because you think that sex will always be like this with everyone. Let me tell you: It won't!

I had maintenance sex with my ex and it was the worst. It left me feeling emotionally slimy. I thought I was asexual.
I'm so attracted to my current boyfriend that when he's away, I'll masturbate while smelling his shirts.

You've learned something about yourself here, so this isn't all for naught! This one time is the collective of your experiences with sex. So of course the future will seem grim. But have hope!

Next time have sex because you can tell that you want it. Not because you think you should want it, not because he wants it. Because you want it. And you'll know when you do.
My boyfriend and I put off our first kiss because our chemistry was so electric, we were panting just hugging each other. We knew that we wouldn't be able to keep our clothes on if we started.

When we finally had sex, I nearly cried. It felt so good, so right. It felt like this is what my body was directing me towards all this time. I laughed at how awful my previous sex was. It was a ghost of what could be. A cheap imitation.
You have the opportunity of contrast. When you get the real deal, you will see how much better it is compared to this experience here. I feel lucky to be able to know exactly how good I've got it.
Nothing beats making love with someone you love.

>>17900890
Damn, I'm a dude but I hope I can feel that someday.

>>17900933
I'm glad that my experience touched you!
I understand now what people meant when they told teenager me to have sex with someone I really loved. I thought that I loved my ex, but I really more pitied him. I was worried about him in a maternal sense and I thought that was love. I don't know how I would describe love to someone who hasn't had it.
I'd compare it to when I had my first orgasm. I had thought I'd had orgasms in the past, but when I actually had one, it was like "WOAH, how could I ever confuse those past experiences as orgasms?" Though I don't know if guys have that problem as much as girls do.

>>17900992
At the same time I feel bad though because if I had sex today, the girl would certainly feel like you felt with your ex since I'm ugly as a goat.

I'm a virgin and I really don't want to go through a bad experience and make the girl feel bad about herself the next day, I want to do it with a girl that I can see is really into me.

>>17901024
Hey, it's not about how you look. Compatibility goes beyond that, particularly for women. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I started feeling sexually attracted to my current boyfriend after I discovered how emotionally compatible we are. It's not because he's some super model. He looks like a dream boat to me because I love him, not the other way around.

>>17898061

It always hurts the first time. Women are like an oven. We got to get heated up for it or its not going to work out well.

Have you guys tried oral first? If not then try getting each other off that way, then you might be more comfortable for PIV sex.

>>17901068
What is piv sex?

He tried to go down on me but i stopped him because i got embarrassed

>>17901174
PIV = penis in vagina