How do you keep a relationship going for a long time? Also what

>do stuff together
>we never did stuff together

>>17897465
Way too general question, if the chemistry with the partner is right, you don't have to do much at all. If the chemistry isn't right, best you can do is prolong something that will fail eventually.

>Also what was the reason of your last break up
I didn't feel like she was worth the effort. Also she wasn't the right girl for me due being too basic (Not meant as an insult, I bet most guy would be super happy with her)

>date night at least once a week
>Don't get complacent. Always impress her like you did when you first started pursuing her.
>Communicate when things seem off.
>If you do something that annoys her, stop. The more you do it, the more annoyed she gets, and eventually she'll erupt.

Forgot my reason for my last breakup.

>I'm a sex addict
>I'm conservative, she's liberal.
>She is discovering feminism
>She is depressed and unhappy with her life cause feminism. Blames me.
>I was focusing on my career and not giving her much attention. Hung out with her, but stopped trying to impress her.
>She started hanging out with sluts who convinced her to come hoe with them.

Pretty sad, desu. Great girl, but from what I've seen on social media, she's severely damaged. Ran into her at a Halloween party a few months ago. Shit was weird. She's a completely different person.

>>17897465
Forgiveness, trust and a willingness to have fun and try fresh new things.

Last one didn't work due to stagnation.

-research shows to have sex once a week
-if you can't "get in the mood" figure out what "gets you in the mood" usually for women it's being able to take time to get ready and going on an actual date/doing something together
-communication, don't act like you're cool with something if you're not but do try to compromise when possible, pick your battles!
-my last relationship ended because I started medical school and he wasn't being supportive/attentive and I thought he was childish and didn't have his shit together

>>17897465
Just got out of a 6 year relationship we broke up bc she gained a lot of weight and refused to go to the gym

>>17897606
I'm curious, how did you tell her?

Keep communication open.

Admit when you're wrong, but don't take all the responsibility if its not yours to take. It should be a two person effort to solve your problems. Both people need to be willing to self-examine.

Go to counseling if needed (we did this and it helped to have a neutral person)

Talk EVERYTHING out. Be open and willing to hear their feelings, even the ones that you might be afraid to hear.

If you're angry or if your partner is angry, end the discussion until you've both cooled down. Or else someone will say something they they regret or just causes another argument.

Accept your mistakes and forgive yourself. It will make it easier to do the same for your partner. Do the best you can to show your partner that you want them to trust you.

Pretty much everything I said is some variation of "communicate".

>Last time I broke up with my partner it was because I knew I had anger issues, and he had broken my trust to what seemed beyond repair. I did not want to subject him to my verbal abuse and also the mistrust was hurting both of us. But he convinced me to come back and told me he was committed to change, and I have since forgiven everything. I don't regret it one bit and we have become so strong with the lessons we have learned from the experience. Haven't fought since.

>>17897465
>How do you keep a relationship going for a long time?
Oldestfag in this thread saying hello.

>I've been married for fourteen years and been with the woman who is now my wife, on and off but mostly on, for more than twenty.

It's a combination of factors, but communication is key. If you need or want something, or if you are unhappy with something you've got, you need to be able to be honest and unashamed to speak about that shit. At least as importantly, you need to be able to accept and process it when she wants something or doesn't like something she's got--you need to encourage her to speak up about what she wants, needs, and how she feels. That doesn't necessarily mean you need to do everything she says, but it does mean you need to take her feelings seriously. As she should yours.

If you feel like you need substantial dishonesty to maintain your relationship, it is not going to be a healthy, lasting relationship.

The posters above raise some good points about spending time together and going out of your way to appreciate and enjoy one another. But just as important is finding a time and place for yourself. My wife is awesome and we have great date nights. But being able to fuck around playing music with my annoying friends sometimes, and being able to go to concerts she doesn't really like without her, are at least as important to keeping our marriage fun and vital.

When it gets seriously long-term, which most of 4chan has yet to experience, it becomes increasingly important to find new fun and new shared thrills. Try something new together.

But whatever you do, be honest and talk to your partner.

>>17897465
Well me and the boo have been together for 8 years and we're still having fun. Today all we did was eat cookies and play fallout 4 and it was great.

I'd give out a couple things

1) Speak your mind / Be honest. Just be an adult and nip things on the bud so small problems don't become dealbreakers.
2) be realistic. Yes you can change your other to fit your personality, and vice versa, but it's much easier to simply start woth someone already close to your ideal.
3) a relationship is a ton of work, even more so for a long term one, but it should always be a labor of love. Think of it this way, you're giving this person your time (which is your most prized position) because they mean so much to you. Yes things will get difficult, but as long as you know that they're worth it than keep on giving them that gift and putting effort into the relationship. Getting that gift from someone is just so damn rewarding.

There's probably more but that's all I got. It's a ton of work, but a huge joy.

Don't go to bed angry, because when you go to bed angry it gives you time to stew on shit and it builds over time. Old people aren't kidding when they say that.

I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years.

>Communicate
Don't dismiss their feelings, ever. Be upfront and honest. Communicate your needs clearly and encourage them to tell you what they need. Listen and understand them. Solve arguments right away. Compromise.

>Acceptance
Your partner isn't perfect and neither are you. Improve yourself, help them improve themselves if they wish, but ultimately accept that they will have some flaws. If there is something that you cannot deal with, leave - stressing someone because you wish they were different is silly.

>Spend time together
Have a hobby you both share, find some activity you both enjoy doing, a topic you both love talking about. Make a point to spend time doing things together.

>Spend time alone
Don't become one of those couples that do everything together all the time. Spend time alone, spend time alone with your friends and family. If you have a fulfilling life outside your relationship will be a better partner.

>Support each other
Never criticise each other in public, never attack each other personally. Make their happiness as important as yours. Put effort into helping them achieve whatever they want in life.

>Be romantic
Never, ever stop seducing each other. Love them and make sure they know. Fuck them and make sure they love it. Keep dating.

Great question. All my relationships have ended super early. I guess patience and communication on both ends are good ingredients that we were missing.

She had anxiety over our relationship and its direction considering I'm moving to another state within the year and she'd had two relationships end the same way. She had never communicated that this was a problem, just broke up with me over the phone. I posted some petty, indirect stuff while drunk on social media that night that she used against me to make me look like an asshole when we had a post breakup talk.

>>17897465
>>17898233
I completely agree with don't go to bed angry. I was in an almost 10 year relationship that I ended mostly due to the angry thought I had 10 years ago. Everything else is added to that pile of shitty things and eventually the pile of shit was too big and I wanted out.
My advice for long term is if you're with someone that loves you as much as you love them that expresses that love in the same way that you do you should be fine. Example: two people can love each other a lot but if one person is clingy and one is very independent then it's gonna fail.

Also communication but who the fuck ever does that amIright

Also just understand any long term relationship is just one fuck you away from ending terribly so....